# It's just a piece of fucking wet paper you stupid twat. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 12, 2003, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-just-a-piece-of-fucking-wet-paper-you-stupid-twat/218624 "2003-12-12T17:25:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Eternal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ecb155/32.png) [@Eternal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eternal)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2003, 7:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-just-a-piece-of-fucking-wet-paper-you-stupid-twat/218624/41 "2003-12-13T07:29:17Z")
You know what I would told her? “Der.” And that would be the end of that. ---
**Author:** ![Stoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stoid/32/272_2.png) [@Stoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoid)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2003, 8:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-just-a-piece-of-fucking-wet-paper-you-stupid-twat/218624/42 "2003-12-13T08:34:20Z")
“twat” never ceases to be funny. ---
**Author:** ![Morgs](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c37758/32.png) [@Morgs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgs)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2003, 11:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-just-a-piece-of-fucking-wet-paper-you-stupid-twat/218624/43 "2003-12-13T11:38:20Z")
Next time someone tells you ‘my mail is wet’. Say ‘have you tried military service… that’ll toughen him up’. A joke that lame will stick in someone’s head for weeks and really darken their life. It also has the added bonus that you are perfectly justified in kicking the living crap out of them if they dare to say 'no no, you see I mean mail spelt ‘M-A-I-L’. ---
**Author:** ![BiblioCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@BiblioCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BiblioCat)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2003, 11:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-just-a-piece-of-fucking-wet-paper-you-stupid-twat/218624/44 "2003-12-13T11:55:30Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by herownself \* > \*\ ***Spogga** , here in Seattle, we call the yellow thing that occasionally appears in the sky “that big burney thing.” \*\* I know, I know! It’s called the “sun” and where I live, it’s in the sky every freaking day in the summer, accompained by blistering heat and stifling humidity. It’s evil incarnate. Count your blessings that you only see it occasionally. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![The\_Great\_Unwashed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_great_unwashed/32/4791_2.png) [@The\_Great\_Unwashed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Great_Unwashed)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2003, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-just-a-piece-of-fucking-wet-paper-you-stupid-twat/218624/45 "2003-12-13T13:31:13Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by BiblioCat \* > \*\*I know, I know! It’s called the “sun” and where I live, it’s in the sky every freaking day in the summer, accompained by blistering heat and stifling humidity. It’s evil incarnate. > > Count your blessings that you only see it occasionally. 😉 \*\* No way – Manchester ( **spogga** ’s damp patch) is my home town. In Manchester they say that if you can see the Pennines, it’s going to rain. If you can’t see them it’s already raining. Now I spent a couple of summers in Maryland, and yeah, yeah, yeah, it does get a tad hot for a few weeks, but you know, you just leave your air-conned apartments, to drive in you air-conned cars to arrive at your air-conned malls and offices, you’d never guess it was 100 degrees with matching humidity outside. But compare this to three hundred and sixty five and a quarter (approx.) days per year of sodding rain and middays that look like twilight and there’s no contest. You just don’t know how lucky you are. [mutter-mutter, some people, bah…] Anyway, **spogga** , on the subject of postperson-tipping etiquette: my postman left me a crimblemas card which I took to be a hint that I should find Mohammed and sue the GPO, but my gf imagines that he requires a tip – going off your figures is a £5 tip mean/fair/good? ---
**Author:** ![BiblioCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@BiblioCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BiblioCat)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2003, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-just-a-piece-of-fucking-wet-paper-you-stupid-twat/218624/46 "2003-12-13T13:42:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by The Great Unwashed \* > **Now I spent a couple of summers in Maryland, and yeah, yeah, yeah, it does get a tad hot for a few weeks… > You just don’t know how lucky you are. [mutter-mutter, some people, bah…]** A “tad hot”? 100° in the shade by 7:00 in the morning, with 98% humidity? People and dogs keeling over in the streets? Sheesh. . [mutter-mutter, some people, bah…] 😉 Back on topic: How do I tip when I have several different letter carriers? I see as many as four or five different people bringing my mail. Sometimes two weeks will go by with a different person every day. I’d like to do the right thing, but which one do I tip? ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2003, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-just-a-piece-of-fucking-wet-paper-you-stupid-twat/218624/47 "2003-12-13T13:53:25Z")
I’d like to tip our postie, but how should one leave a cash tip if he only ever arrives after one has already gone to work, and one lives in a high crime area? ---
**Author:** ![Futile\_Gesture](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f05b48/32.png) [@Futile\_Gesture](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Futile_Gesture)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2003, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-just-a-piece-of-fucking-wet-paper-you-stupid-twat/218624/48 "2003-12-13T14:01:55Z")
Send yourself a letter? Addressed… Mr Postie (Yes, you.) No, don’t put it through the letter box, this is for you! **jjimm** ’s address Ireland ---
**Author:** ![spogga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3ab097/32.png) [@spogga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/spogga)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2003, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-just-a-piece-of-fucking-wet-paper-you-stupid-twat/218624/49 "2003-12-13T16:55:00Z")
OK Let me try to answer a few doohickies here. 1.CERVAISE: Some years back the Govt. tried to tax postmen on their Xmas tips assuming that each got on average £250. This attempt was soon kicked into touch as some posties are lucky if they get a £5. 2.SNOOPY FAN: I love my mail carrier, her name is Jacqueline 3.COLDFIRE: You scared? You taketh the piss my man 4.RHUM RUNNER: You strike me as a person of integrity, honesty and you are more than likely extremely handsome. You are also a very good judge of character [my cheque/check is in the post to you] 5.STOID: Twats are only funny if you are getting plenty, otherwise they are real mean 6.ETERNAL ‘Der’ as in Der Fuhreress maybe 7.THE GREAT UNWASHED: I never leave a Xmas card unless the person has given me a tip. To me handing out cards the way your postie has is to much like begging, he has more than likely given each of his customers a card in the hope of getting something back. I call it bad practice and it is frowned on by Royal Mail although not forbidden. The card I will leave is a thank you for their kindness. Having said all that £5 is considered about average but of course this depends on how affluent you are. I deliver to some premiership footballers who earn £50,000 per fucking week and these bastards have never even given me a penny. I’m not bitter, honest! 8.If you want to leave your postie a tip all you need do if you feel that sticking an envelope marke ‘postman’ is tempting fate is just leave him/her a note asking him/her to call at your door. 9.BIBLIO CAT: In the UK the practice is for a customer only to see 2 postman delivering to their house during the year. The postie who has signed for and holds the delivery and also the reserve for that duty. In your case I’d just not bother leaving anything. It seems that you must live in some awkward [not being sarcastic here] area to get to and nobody want the delivery. You are getting reserves. 1. And finally, despite what you all may think the tem peratures in the UK are pretty good, the benefits of living in a temperate climate I guess. This year temps in summer hit over 100c. In 1976 it was also hot, I 'member it 'cos I fell asleep in the back garden and burnt my dick. Well I was only little [so was my dick actually] ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2003, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-just-a-piece-of-fucking-wet-paper-you-stupid-twat/218624/50 "2003-12-13T17:21:56Z")
One hundred degrees Celcius… Oh my Gawd! That’s like boiling water! :eek: ---
**Author:** ![spogga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3ab097/32.png) [@spogga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/spogga)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2003, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-just-a-piece-of-fucking-wet-paper-you-stupid-twat/218624/51 "2003-12-13T18:09:22Z")
Oh I always get my cents and francs mixed up, stop picking on me, I’m not little anymore. ---
**Author:** ![SJSB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@SJSB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SJSB)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2003, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-just-a-piece-of-fucking-wet-paper-you-stupid-twat/218624/52 "2003-12-13T18:11:10Z")
**spogga** ; monetary donations? Can’t I just be your bitch?😉 ---
**Author:** ![spogga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3ab097/32.png) [@spogga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/spogga)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2003, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-just-a-piece-of-fucking-wet-paper-you-stupid-twat/218624/53 "2003-12-13T18:20:53Z")
\*\* SJSB \*\* Female canines are bitches, women are ladies. E-mail me and we’ll discuss terms,conditions,and who lives with who and who gets to drive. Oh yes 'fore I forget, I sleep on the side of the bed nearest the bathroom. ---
**Author:** ![SJSB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@SJSB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SJSB)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2003, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-just-a-piece-of-fucking-wet-paper-you-stupid-twat/218624/54 "2003-12-13T18:35:47Z")
That sounds like a plan of the most cunning variety! I’ll be in touch. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2003, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-just-a-piece-of-fucking-wet-paper-you-stupid-twat/218624/55 "2003-12-13T18:36:00Z")
Do UK Posties work Saturdays? One of my cousins is a USPS Letter Carrier, and he rarely gets a Sat off. He is also one of those guys on a rotating route. Been there almost 20 yrs now, so it’s not just the reserves getting thos routes. He actually asked for it to have some variety. His 2nd day off floats during the week, but no 2nd days off during the holiday season. With running collection box routes and all the usual overtime, he can average 60 to 70 hrs a week during Christmas. (Yeah, one Xmas in retail, I did over 80! ) Sometimes, he gets a little disenchanted with the politics of Postal work, but the benefits and more than adequate wages always keep him going back for more. Ice storm last night here in the OKC. But, our letter carriers are out and about. Wow. _raises glass_ Here’s to you Posties! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Tiger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/6de8d8/32.png) [@Mama\_Tiger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Tiger)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2003, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-just-a-piece-of-fucking-wet-paper-you-stupid-twat/218624/56 "2003-12-13T19:03:20Z")
We had a regular mailman most of the first two years we lived here, and he was terrific. Our mail came at the same time every day, it was never more than normally wet (as **whiterabbit** said, it rains so much here that you expect it to be wet regularly), and we didn’t get a bunch of mail for other people. He was the best mailman I’d had in 20 years. Then he retired, and now we never know _who_ is going to deliver our mail or _when_ it’s going to arrive. Some days it’s here by noon, other days it’s well into the evening when it arrives. And we’re now getting mail for people who hadn’t lived here for ten years or so. We keep putting it back out with a “Not At This Address” notice on it, but it hasn’t seemed to slow the onslaught. I sure miss the other guy. ---
**Author:** ![SJSB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@SJSB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SJSB)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2003, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-just-a-piece-of-fucking-wet-paper-you-stupid-twat/218624/57 "2003-12-13T19:05:06Z")
**NoClueBoy** - as far as I know, UK posties deliver on Saturdays. Spogga could give you a definite answer though… I’m just his bitch. ---
**Author:** ![furlibusea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/aca169/32.png) [@furlibusea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furlibusea)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2003, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-just-a-piece-of-fucking-wet-paper-you-stupid-twat/218624/58 "2003-12-13T19:21:55Z")
\*\* Mama Tiger\*\* If your route was a good enough one that someone retired off of it, someone will have it as a regular route soon. The thing about the mail coming at different times is that the route is being split up and given to people as overtime hours. They are either delivering it before or after they deliver their own route. They only keep the address change cards with a route for about a year. There is no way for someone who doesn’t usualy carry your route to know that that person isn’t just visiting, especialy if it is being broken up as overtime hours, the likelyhood is that it isnt the same person picking up the NSN as delivered it. This time of year is a forced overtime. Even people with 35 years in have to carry extra. ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Tiger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/6de8d8/32.png) [@Mama\_Tiger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Tiger)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2003, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-just-a-piece-of-fucking-wet-paper-you-stupid-twat/218624/59 "2003-12-13T20:24:18Z")
Only problem, **furlibusea** , is that it’s been this way for at least six months now. Does the USPS have a hiring freeze on or something? ---
**Author:** ![spogga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3ab097/32.png) [@spogga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/spogga)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2003, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-just-a-piece-of-fucking-wet-paper-you-stupid-twat/218624/60 "2003-12-13T20:34:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SJSB \* > \*\*That sounds like a plan of the most cunning variety! > I’ll be in touch. 😉 \*\* Well hurry up then fer Gods sake woman before the Viagra wears off [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-just-a-piece-of-fucking-wet-paper-you-stupid-twat/218624.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-just-a-piece-of-fucking-wet-paper-you-stupid-twat/218624.md?page=4)