# It's Just Not That Difficult **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 5, 2003, 12:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-just-not-that-difficult/173164 "2003-05-05T12:48:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2003, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-just-not-that-difficult/173164/21 "2003-05-05T17:41:07Z")
**FCM** yep I’m gonna invest in two or three of those floating lounge chairs with the built in beverage thingy. They are so jake! And fruit salad, mmmmmmmmm, bring it on. It’ll be good in the daiquiris. Provided **Rue** remembers to bring the blender. **Ellen Cherry** the pool won’t be ready til probably the end of June. How long do those people intend to stay? Surely you can persuade em to go home by the end of June. **Ex** what say we sit around the pool drink some beer and/or daiquiris and make up limericks/haikus about everybody else? **Lissla** please leave the platypuses, platypi, whatever at home. And bring some dip. Dip is good around the pool. Well, not to spread around the pool, that’d just be disgusting. But to eat while sitting around the pool, it’s good. **Copper\_moon** if ever I decided to go straight it’d be just so I could have you. Of course you can come. Specially if you bring beer and pretzels. And, crazy hats for everybody! This is starting to be a fun pool party! ---
**Author:** ![lightingtool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/57b2e6/32.png) [@lightingtool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lightingtool)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2003, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-just-not-that-difficult/173164/22 "2003-05-05T17:47:55Z")
(snicker) It’s just not that **hard**. (guffaw) Somebody had to do it. What? Oh, you’re right. Nobody had to do it. Sorry about that. I’m feeling rather teenagerish today. Actually, I did have to say that. Because where I’m from, the phrase “Then I gave the boys a haircut” has a completely different meaning than the one you gave it (tee-hee), and I needed to have something else to back up my shady euphemisms. Ok, mature comments only from here on. I mean it. Although I really should learn to laugh in a more manly way online. I mean, look at that. Snicker? “tee-hee?” Sure, I got a guffaw in there, but what’s one guffaw compared to a couple of girlie laughs? I might as well giggle. Sigh. It’s hard being a big hairy girlie man. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. I have friends who pride themselves on being big hairy girlie men. I’m going to get some coffee now. “A guffaw in the hand is worth two giggles in the bush” Oh, crap. Whilst previewing, I notice that it’s taken me far to long to write this pointless post and now it makes even less sense than it did before. **Rue** ’s gonna kill me for going all the way back to the OP. It just takes time to craft something this stupid and pretend to work at the same time. ---
**Author:** ![Wintermute](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e19b73/32.png) [@Wintermute](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wintermute)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2003, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-just-not-that-difficult/173164/23 "2003-05-05T18:00:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by FairyChatMom \* > \*\*…Maybe I’ll get a goat. \*\* I’ve got no real hijack here, so I’ll just say, “Hi, everybody!”. That, and goats are cool. We used to have one that liked to sneak up behind you in the summer when you were wearing shorts and ever so delicately lick the back of your knee. And, when you turned around to see who was licking you, she would smirk. That’s right, a little goat-y smirk, and keep licking, while you writhed in an agony of tickling. This was much funnier if she did it to one of your sisters. If she was licking one of your sisters, then you smirked, too. I miss that goat. (Damn, I’m starting to write like **Rue**! And I was trying so hard to resist!) Glad your kitty is better, **Lissla**. ---
**Author:** ![Copper\_moon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ecc23a/32.png) [@Copper\_moon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Copper_moon)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2003, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-just-not-that-difficult/173164/24 "2003-05-05T18:10:39Z")
HAIKU?!? Did someone Say something about Haiku? I love you, Haiku. My personal Haiku: I am a wiper Of chins, butts and more. I am MAMA, hear me roar. To my **Swampy** : **Swampbear** is so jake. But my love he’ll never take Oh my heart to break. ☹ I’ll stop now. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Kn\_ckers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/96bed5/32.png) [@Kn\_ckers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kn_ckers)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2003, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-just-not-that-difficult/173164/25 "2003-05-05T18:24:57Z")
Man, I wish _I’d_ had a crazy hat contest to go to this weekend. Or a hardware store. Or a bookstore. I went to WalMart, instead. I needed… mmm, I forget what. Wiper blades. And socks. I needed wiper blades and socks. And Walmart seemed like the logical place where one could kill both of those proverbial birds with only one proverbial stone (because who wants to waste proverbial stones on bird killing, when you might need them later, to see if they grow moss when they’re rolling? I don’t. No proverbial stone-waster am I, that’s for sure). I don’t really like WalMart, though. It’s all depressing. It’s like the most depressing department store, ever. I’m not sure why that is, but it might have something to do with the greeters. Nothing is surer to make me sad than some obviously unhappy senior citizen in a blue vest accosting me in a doorway to wish me a nice day. Maybe if they wore yellow vests… ---
**Author:** ![Exgineer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a88e4f/32.png) [@Exgineer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exgineer)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2003, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-just-not-that-difficult/173164/26 "2003-05-05T18:42:30Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by lightingtool \* > \*\*Oh, crap. Whilst previewing, I notice that it’s taken me far to long to write this pointless post and now it makes even less sense than it did before. **Rue** ’s gonna kill me for going all the way back to the OP. It just takes time to craft something this stupid and pretend to work at the same time. \*\* See? _See?_ That’s exactly what I was talking about. I could sit here (well, not here, it would have to wait until I got home) and compose a brilliant opus about swimming pools and daiquiris and by the time I actually posted it you people would be into the power tools at Sears. Mmmm… daiquiris and swimming pools. Sitting around a pool with **swampbe…** uh, I mean **Angel Pants** (if I bring hand-dipped chocolate) sipping daiquiris and composing haiku. Cool. Hot day by the pool Rats, dog hair in my daiquiri I think I’ll upchuck On Preview: DAMMIT! ---
**Author:** ![lightingtool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/57b2e6/32.png) [@lightingtool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lightingtool)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2003, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-just-not-that-difficult/173164/27 "2003-05-05T18:56:42Z")
It’s funny you mention the power tools at Sears. I was just there yesterday, looking at the power tools. Ended up buying a new phone, though. Shiney new DeWalt Yellow and black like a bee 18 volts of fun ---
**Author:** ![LurkMeister](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3da27b/32.png) [@LurkMeister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkMeister)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2003, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-just-not-that-difficult/173164/28 "2003-05-05T19:23:18Z")
Well, you see, **Rue** , what usually happens is I start reading the thread and think up some funny (or maybe not-so-funny) response to one post, but by the time I get to the last post the subject has changed so many times that what I wanted to say is now either totally out of context or it looks like I’m beating a dead horse (or goat, or platypus, or whatever). Oddly enough, I do need to get some cat plumbing rearranged. I put off doing it too long and now I’ve got a female getting ready to drop a litter and two males who keep trying to get out to impregnate the rest of the neighborhood. ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2003, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-just-not-that-difficult/173164/29 "2003-05-05T20:19:54Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Copper\_Moon:_ > Swampbear is so jake. > But my love he’ll never take > Oh my heart to break. _sniff_ That is just so lovely! _sniff_ It’s going in my sig line. That and **Exgineer** calling me Angel Pants and offering me hand dipped chocolates, is making me feel all special and stuff. Hmmm… I got two straight dopers flirting with me. Yes, **Ex** any sentence that combines the terms Angel Pants and hand dipped chocolates is considered a flirt. This is the way stuff works for me. See, if I were straight I’d have gay dopers flirting with me. Course if I were straight and **Ex** still called me Angel Pants and offered me hand dipped chocolates, well, I just wouldn’t know what to think. Where was I? I forget. I feel bad about breaking **Cooper\_Moon’s** heart though. Blame it on **Homebrew**. He was the one walking all around the SDMB looking all handsome and studly that I developed my major league SDMB crush on him. It’s all his fault. [sub]And I want a private pool party with just him and me.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2003, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-just-not-that-difficult/173164/30 "2003-05-05T20:21:33Z")
And I could bother to spell **Copper\_Moon** right. And I previewed and everything! Sheesh! ---
**Author:** ![Wintermute](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e19b73/32.png) [@Wintermute](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wintermute)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2003, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-just-not-that-difficult/173164/31 "2003-05-05T20:29:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by swampbear \* > \*\*And I could bother to spell **Copper\_Moon** right. And I previewed and everything! Sheesh! \*\* Least you got it right, that is, correct in your sig. That’s something, isn’t it? Can I come to your pool party? I love to swim. And, I make a mean potato salad. I’m sort of famous for my potato salad. I’ll leave the goat at home. ---
**Author:** ![Copper\_moon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ecc23a/32.png) [@Copper\_moon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Copper_moon)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2003, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-just-not-that-difficult/173164/32 "2003-05-05T20:48:18Z")
I’m a published poet!!! Well kind of. Move over Frost. I was so plumb tingly about being quoted in someone’s sig line that I didn’t even notice that my name was Cooper and not Copper. You make me happy anyway, **Swampbeer**. Um, I mean **Swamp_bear_**. See? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Copper\_moon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ecc23a/32.png) [@Copper\_moon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Copper_moon)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2003, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-just-not-that-difficult/173164/33 "2003-05-05T20:52:11Z")
Oh, and hey there, **Ex**. You better back off! **Swampy’s** mine. Ya hear me? That’s right. I’m talkin’ to _ **YOU!!** _ 😉 ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2003, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-just-not-that-difficult/173164/34 "2003-05-05T21:41:49Z")
Some leftover steak And a few potato chunks My dinner tonight This is almost too embarrassing to post, but having typed it, I find my cursor drawn to _Submit Reply_… ---
**Author:** ![Rue\_DeDay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/41988e/32.png) [@Rue\_DeDay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rue_DeDay)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2003, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-just-not-that-difficult/173164/35 "2003-05-05T22:35:19Z")
Ya know? You’re all worried if your post is appropriate to the thread? Why? I mean really, like it matters. Just post whatever the heck you feel like. If you wait long enough to hit the “submit” button the thread might just come around to where you want it. (Isn’t that what “submit” means?) So just post away! Maybe it’ll be sequitous or not. Who’s really going to know? Hello! **Cajun Man** , **Coldfire** & **UncleBeer**! What do yous guys think about these threads I do every week. I know you don’t hate them all that much because if you did I’m sure I’d get a harshly worded e-mail (at the least). Do any of you even read these things anymore? Or do you just figure they are benign train-wrecks by now? -Rue. (the Inquisitive) ---
**Author:** ![Exgineer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a88e4f/32.png) [@Exgineer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exgineer)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2003, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-just-not-that-difficult/173164/36 "2003-05-06T00:03:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Copper\_moon \* > Oh, and hey there, **Ex**. You better back off! **Swampy** ’s mine. > > Ya hear me? > > That’s right. I’m talkin’ to _ **YOU!!** _ > > 😉 Well no, not exactly. See, there’s this: > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Swampbear_ > Hmmm… I got two straight dopers flirting with me. Yes, Ex any sentence that combines the terms Angel Pants and hand dipped chocolates is considered a flirt. This is the way stuff works for me. See, if I were straight I’d have gay dopers flirting with me. Course if I were straight and **Ex** still called me Angel Pants and offered me hand dipped chocolates, well, I just wouldn’t know what to think. Where was I? I forget. See? I’m straight and **Swampy** ’s gay, but I’m gonna’ call him **Angel Pants** and he won’t mind. All I really have to worry about is **Homebrew** beating me up, except I really don’t have to worry about him because he knows I’m straight. See? It just makes all kinds of sense when you think about it. In the alternative, consider this. **Swampy** ’s my buddy, and in the fullness of time we will find ourselves sitting by the side of the same pool, just drinking beer and shooting the breeze. Okay? Somehow, I’m gonna’ make **Wintermute** dribble in this thread too. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2003, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-just-not-that-difficult/173164/37 "2003-05-06T00:16:11Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Exgineer \* > \*\*In the alternative, consider this. **Swampy** ’s my buddy, and in the fullness of time we will find ourselves sitting by the side of the same pool, just drinking beer and shooting the breeze. > \*\* I suddenly got a mental image of you two guys in the old-time striped bathing suits, straw hats, and handlebar mustaches, seated in Adirondack chairs beside the pool. Alternatively, I considered you both wearing matching thongs, but that vision was too disturbing, so I blocked it out. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Exgineer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a88e4f/32.png) [@Exgineer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exgineer)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2003, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-just-not-that-difficult/173164/38 "2003-05-06T00:42:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by FairyChatMom \* > \*\*Alternatively, I considered you both wearing matching thongs, but that vision was too disturbing, so I blocked it out. :eek: \*\* Just what, precisely, are you trying to say here? I’m pretty sure I could get away with it, and have the babes swooning to boot. Of course, **swampbear** would be brushing the boys off like flies. Or were you being catty? ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2003, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-just-not-that-difficult/173164/39 "2003-05-06T00:45:22Z")
Catty? Moi?? ---
**Author:** ![Salem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8c91f0/32.png) [@Salem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Salem)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2003, 4:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-just-not-that-difficult/173164/40 "2003-05-06T04:47:24Z")
Damn, I missed most of the train wreck. Here I am at the caboose again. Although I’ve always had a fondness for cabooses. Just keep saying the word and maybe you will, too. Caboose, caboose, caboose. Is it growing on you yet? My grandfather used to build cabooses, and the rest of the trains as well, now that you ask. Scale model steamers that had their own little track but were big enough to ride on. But you had to ride on the flat cars. Otherwise, it could be unpleasant. Actually, they still exist (the trains, not my grandfather. Well, he exists, but now it’s in that “in memory only” sort of way. Or, if one were theologically inclined towards believing in an afterlife, he does still exist, probably still riding his little trains in Heaven. Little heavenly trains with little heavenly cabooses.). I miss my grandfather. So glad someone brought that up. Good memories. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-just-not-that-difficult/173164.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-just-not-that-difficult/173164.md?page=3)