# It's Late, But You Still Get Your Money's Worth **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 13, 2003, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-late-but-you-still-get-your-moneys-worth/174841 "2003-05-13T01:03:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2003, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-late-but-you-still-get-your-moneys-worth/174841/61 "2003-05-15T22:55:44Z")
Tube sock and pasties, huh? :eek: Thanks so much for that. My attorney will be in touch and we’ll just settle for you paying all my impending therapy bills once the night terrors subside. I know we’ll settle because there’s no way a jury can NOT convict you based on that statement alone. So just write a check, and we’ll never speak of this again. \ 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Exgineer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a88e4f/32.png) [@Exgineer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exgineer)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2003, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-late-but-you-still-get-your-moneys-worth/174841/62 "2003-05-15T23:04:56Z")
Truth be told, I gots boobs too. Big, floppy man-boobs. I just didn’t want to say anything, because it’s impolite to contradict **Elle** n in a **Rue** thread. Yeah, that’s it. Good luck with The Place, you fatso. Work hard on it, you can use the exercise. I could too, frankly, but I ain’t moving around because I’m lazy. If you guys expect me to make anything out of giant concrete Elvis heads, gargoyles, 7 year old gas dryers, an emu farm, thongs, and dancing, you have to give me advance notice. Lots 'o commas there for you, **Rue**. And for **dwyr** too. I’m just grumpy because **Lissla** ’s thousandth post was way better than mine. Poo. ---
**Author:** ![Exgineer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a88e4f/32.png) [@Exgineer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exgineer)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2003, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-late-but-you-still-get-your-moneys-worth/174841/63 "2003-05-16T00:29:05Z")
Oh yeah, I forgot to ask. Hey, **FairyChatMom**. Who is older, again? Is it you or **Angel Pants**? I forget. Maybe I shouldn’t ask this question, because **Angel Pants** and **Homebrew** might give me a hardcore beat-down. Seriously, those guys are big. They probably wouldn’t hesitate to hit me in the head with a full trash can either. My first rule of survival is, “don’t screw with the tough guys.” You, on the other hand, I think I could take. Maybe six rounds. Heck, you might go the distance. Old ladies. Yep, that’s just about my acceptable threat level. I’m scared of what your husband might do, though. He could probably kill me just by flicking his wrist. And then there’s your daughter. The last thing I want is some fiesty kid getting me from behind and clawing my eyes out. Note to the oblivious: This entire post was a joke, and you should lighten up a little bit. Except for any implication that I might be small and weak. That part’s all true. ---
**Author:** ![dwyr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dwyr/32/363_2.png) [@dwyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dwyr)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2003, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-late-but-you-still-get-your-moneys-worth/174841/64 "2003-05-16T00:43:58Z")
Well, shucks. I’m jealous. I mean I’ve got three indoor gargoyles (well… catgoyles really) but no outdoor ones. Pooh. But not Winnie. What is a gar anyway?. Or a goyle for that matter?. Oh, wait. I’m a goyle. 🙂 … [sub]I’m doing periods today.[/sub] … ---
**Author:** ![Exgineer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a88e4f/32.png) [@Exgineer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exgineer)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2003, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-late-but-you-still-get-your-moneys-worth/174841/65 "2003-05-16T01:52:52Z")
U iz da kewliest goyle, 2. 'Kay, I’m sorry. I’m so lame, I can’t even fake up some weak teenager flirting. That “leet” garbage just isn’t even on my radar, as you can tell. I’ll have to use regular American English. **dwyr** is a hottie, and everybody should worship at her feet. How was that? And you need some exclamation points, if you know what I mean. !!! Just for you. ---
**Author:** ![welby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/d78d45/32.png) [@welby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/welby)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2003, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-late-but-you-still-get-your-moneys-worth/174841/66 "2003-05-16T02:56:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Exgineer \* > \*\*If you guys expect me to make anything out of giant concrete Elvis heads, gargoyles, 7 year old gas dryers, an emu farm, thongs, and dancing, you have to give me advance notice. > \*\* Geez, **Ex** , all this good material and you can’t come up with anything? I expected better of you, Grasshoppah. Try to take the jelly bean from my belly button. After all, right now you have an Emu Farm, the gates of which are decorated with giant concrete Elvis heads and gargoyles. Everyone knows Elvis loved Emus. And gargoyles. It’s a natural thing for a rock star. The tables in the diner are made from 7 year old gas dryers, and the waiters serve you in thongs while flopping thier man boobs at you.\* A visit ends with the waiters and waitresses dancing The Dance of the Teenaged Emus. Advance notice indeed! - Notice, grasshoppah, the subtle inclusion of our man-boob conversation. It serves both to enhance the story and to make those who read our posts have nightmares. ---
**Author:** ![dwyr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dwyr/32/363_2.png) [@dwyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dwyr)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2003, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-late-but-you-still-get-your-moneys-worth/174841/67 "2003-05-16T03:14:39Z")
!!! Now I’m embarassed… but in a good way. 😉 ! ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2003, 10:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-late-but-you-still-get-your-moneys-worth/174841/68 "2003-05-16T10:22:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Exgineer \* > \*\*Hey, **FairyChatMom**. Who is older, again? Is it you or **Angel Pants**? I forget. > > \ > > You, on the other hand, I think I could take. Maybe six rounds. Heck, you might go the distance. Old ladies. Yep, that’s just about my acceptable threat level. > > I’m scared of what your husband might do, though. He could probably kill me just by flicking his wrist. And then there’s your daughter. The last thing I want is some fiesty kid getting me from behind and clawing my eyes out. > \*\* I believe he has informed me on _numerous_ occasions that I’m six months and 6 days older than he is. The big baby. Not that it matters. Age is a state of mind. OK, so it’s also a state of body - hence supposedly mature men acting like idiot teenagers, but I digress. Six rounds? Of what - beer? Shotgun shells? Mortars? Row, row, row your boat? I could sing you under the table, boy! As for my spouse, he’s not a wrist flicker, but he has facial expressions that make grown men quiver, and not in a good way. Well, it’s not exactly an expression - he’s got a permanent crease between his eyebrows so he looks like he’s always scowling. Some people think he’s a grouch. He’s not bad - he’s just drawn that way. And my Perfect Child[sup]TM[/sup] doesn’t need to resort to clawing eyes out, unless she wants to. She’s had self-defense. And she gets really crabby when the PMS hits - _that’s_ when you want to avoid her. Incidentally, I refuse to use the nick **Angel Pants** at dinner tomorrow. I may, however, call him Henry. That’s not his name, but I might call him that anyway, just to see how far I can take it. I’ll report back after dessert. Or not. Depends on how I’m feeling. ---
**Author:** ![Rue\_DeDay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/41988e/32.png) [@Rue\_DeDay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rue_DeDay)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2003, 10:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-late-but-you-still-get-your-moneys-worth/174841/69 "2003-05-16T10:53:16Z")
You get little fishy s’mores for dessert at a fish camp, right **Snickers**? Other than that, I have nothing else to add. Wait! Yes I do… **Dwyr** really is way hot. You _should_ worship at her feet. I said _you_ should. I don’t think I will. First, you get a better view of her loveliness if your not right there at her feet. And it’s not safe for her, she could trip over you and that really blows the whole “worship” angle, knocking her down. And thirdly I have on good pants, so I don’t want to grovel and get them all dirty. (And did you notice I didn’t mention how her announcement should have had a TMI warning? It’s because I care.) When we have the Miss (or Mrs. or even Ms as the case may be) Dope Pageant there’ll be, of course, the swimsuit competition, the eveningwear round and “tallent”. When we do the Mr. Dope, I pray we skip the “man-boob” competition. (Although I’m no slouch in that ring…) -Rue. (Mr. Dope contestant from Ohio) ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2003, 10:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-late-but-you-still-get-your-moneys-worth/174841/70 "2003-05-16T10:57:00Z")
You two get up way too early every morning. I know because your racket wakes me up. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2003, 11:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-late-but-you-still-get-your-moneys-worth/174841/71 "2003-05-16T11:03:55Z")
Racket?!? I’ll have you know I’m very quiet. I even keep my radio down low. And I agree it’s too doggone early, but I have to be in the office at 6, so I don’t have a lot of choice here… Not to blame it all on **Rue** - but he _is_ geographically a lot closer to you than I am. He might be right outside your window, **Shibb**! I think you should go out into the yard and check. Just don’t forget to tie your bathrobe. Gotta be considerate of the neighbors. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Exgineer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a88e4f/32.png) [@Exgineer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exgineer)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2003, 11:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-late-but-you-still-get-your-moneys-worth/174841/72 "2003-05-16T11:51:39Z")
Terrific. The entire FairyChat family is dangerous. I should stick to picking on three year olds, except some of them are pretty tough too. And no singing. Singing scares me. Beauty pageants and emus also scare me. And heights. And airplanes, but you already knew that. What in heck is a fish camp? ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2003, 12:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-late-but-you-still-get-your-moneys-worth/174841/73 "2003-05-16T12:32:39Z")
Well, [this](http://www.whiteysfishcamp.com/) is the fish camp where I will be letting **swampy** buy me dinner… As to the rest of your issues, I think I’ll leave them to the professionals. ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2003, 1:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-late-but-you-still-get-your-moneys-worth/174841/74 "2003-05-16T13:10:12Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by FairyChatMom \* > \*\* > Not to blame it all on **Rue** - but he _is_ geographically a lot closer to you than I am. He might be right outside your window, **Shibb**! I think you should go out into the yard and check. Just don’t forget to tie your bathrobe. Gotta be considerate of the neighbors. > > 😃 \*\* There was a mallard in our driveway last week or so, that looked an awful lot like **Rue**. And you know what they say, if it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck… Anyway, I don’t wear a bathrobe. But I keep my pyjamas on most times now, so they won’t see too much. Besides, I don’t really have man-breasts, so as long as I’m not hanging out like that guy in **Coldfire** ’s [WTF Department](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=184182) thread, I think the world is safe. ---
**Author:** ![Ellen\_Cherry](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellen_cherry/32/3600_2.png) [@Ellen\_Cherry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellen_Cherry)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2003, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-late-but-you-still-get-your-moneys-worth/174841/75 "2003-05-16T13:41:20Z")
Holy poo. > [@](#): > > Try the Deluxe for One or Two ($18.95 or $35.95). This platter covers the Special plus you get gator tail and turtle! ---
**Author:** ![Wintermute](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e19b73/32.png) [@Wintermute](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wintermute)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2003, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-late-but-you-still-get-your-moneys-worth/174841/76 "2003-05-16T14:18:56Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by FairyChatMom \* > **…And LurkMeister, I dare ya! I DOUBLE dare ya! 😛 The only thing more unseemly than swampgnomes would be, perhaps, Exgineer and welby cavorting on my lawn in thongs. :eek:** Now, _there’s_ an image I could have lived without! ---
**Author:** ![Wintermute](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e19b73/32.png) [@Wintermute](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wintermute)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2003, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-late-but-you-still-get-your-moneys-worth/174841/77 "2003-05-16T14:21:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by welby \* > \*\*Geez, **Ex** , all this good material and you can’t come up with anything? I expected better of you, Grasshoppah. Try to take the jelly bean from my belly button. > > After all, right now you have an Emu Farm, the gates of which are decorated with giant concrete Elvis heads and gargoyles. Everyone knows Elvis loved Emus. And gargoyles. It’s a natural thing for a rock star. The tables in the diner are made from 7 year old gas dryers, and the waiters serve you in thongs while flopping thier man boobs at you.\* A visit ends with the waiters and waitresses dancing The Dance of the Teenaged Emus. > > Advance notice indeed! > > - Notice, grasshoppah, the subtle inclusion of our man-boob conversation. It serves both to enhance the story and to make those who read our posts have nightmares. \*\* LOL! Bravo, bravissimo!! (Sorry, **Ex** , but if I makes you feel any better, I didn’t have anything in my mouth, so no dribblage occurred! 😉 ) ---
**Author:** ![Wintermute](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e19b73/32.png) [@Wintermute](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wintermute)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2003, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-late-but-you-still-get-your-moneys-worth/174841/78 "2003-05-16T14:24:11Z")
Hey, I just notice, I have over 100 posts! When did that happen? Still, cool! 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![dwyr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dwyr/32/363_2.png) [@dwyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dwyr)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2003, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-late-but-you-still-get-your-moneys-worth/174841/79 "2003-05-16T23:47:26Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Rue DeDay \* > _{Slightly edited version}_ Other than that, I have nothing else to add. Wait! Yes I do… > **Dwyr** really is way hot. You _should_ worship at her feet. I said _you_ should. I don’t think I will. > > First, you get a better view of her loveliness if your not right there at her feet. And it’s not safe for her, she could trip over you and that really blows the whole “worship” angle, knocking her down. And thirdly I have on good pants, so I don’t want to grovel and get them all dirty. You forgot to mention that if I fall on top of anyone they’ll most likely be mashed flatter than a haddock. Nothing ruins a worshiper faster than being squished. > [@](#): > > (And did you notice I didn’t mention how her announcement should have had a TMI warning? It’s because I care.) Wait 'til I do colons. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Exgineer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a88e4f/32.png) [@Exgineer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exgineer)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2003, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-late-but-you-still-get-your-moneys-worth/174841/80 "2003-05-17T00:20:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by dwyr \* > \*\*Wait 'til I do colons. 🙂 \*\* Now that, right there, is the kind of funny I’ve come to expect from the **Rue** threads. I’m dissapointed with myself, though. This is the second straight MMP thread in which I’ve failed to make **Wintermute** dribble. Plus, I was kinda’ unpleasant to **FairyChatMom** , which is a felony in six states. I am a worm. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-late-but-you-still-get-your-moneys-worth/174841.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-late-but-you-still-get-your-moneys-worth/174841.md?page=5)