# It's "Merry Christmas," not "Happy Holidays."
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-merry-christmas-not-happy-holidays/604812
**Category:** The BBQ Pit
**Created:** [December 2, 2011, 7:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-merry-christmas-not-happy-holidays/604812 "2011-12-02T07:47:54Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 18
### Author:  [@obfusciatrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/obfusciatrist)
#### Post date: [December 5, 2011, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-merry-christmas-not-happy-holidays/604812/341 "2011-12-05T22:26:55Z")
I think this thread helps identify the dillweeds who will interrupt a conference call that spans several time zones to say “it’s afternoon here” when the host says “good morning.”
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### Author:  [@Knorf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knorf)
#### Post date: [December 5, 2011, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-merry-christmas-not-happy-holidays/604812/342 "2011-12-05T22:58:39Z")
> [@obfusciatrist](#):
>
> I think this thread helps identify the dillweeds who will interrupt a conference call that spans several time zones to say “it’s afternoon here” when the host says “good morning.”
I just say “good morning” regardless of what time it is. Easier that way. Plus, “good morning” sounds so cheerful.
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### Author:  [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)
#### Post date: [December 5, 2011, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-merry-christmas-not-happy-holidays/604812/343 "2011-12-05T23:21:58Z")
It does. And “good afternoon” sounds like a butler should be droning it ominously.
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### Author:  [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)
#### Post date: [December 6, 2011, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-merry-christmas-not-happy-holidays/604812/344 "2011-12-06T00:02:09Z")
You know what? How about, “Have a Merry Time on Day that is Christmas?” Either that, or “Screw it, I don’t give a shit.”
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### Author:  [@Gfactor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gfactor)
#### Post date: [December 6, 2011, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-merry-christmas-not-happy-holidays/604812/345 "2011-12-06T00:14:53Z")
> [@mac\_bolan00](#):
>
> the second one has a k to his name, mack samuel bolan, and he’s of italian descent.
>
> merry christmas and a happy zyklon-B to all of you.
Even in the Pit we have rules against trolling and hate speech. Please heed them.
**Gfactor**
Pit Moderator
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### Author:  [@Southern\_Yankee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Southern_Yankee)
#### Post date: [December 6, 2011, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-merry-christmas-not-happy-holidays/604812/346 "2011-12-06T00:50:11Z")
> [@Rune](#):
>
> Jews suck.
> [@Gfactor](#):
>
> Even in the Pit we have rules against trolling and hate speech. Please heed them.
>
> **Gfactor**
> Pit Moderator
This may have slipped by you.
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### Author:  [@mac\_bolan00](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mac_bolan00)
#### Post date: [December 6, 2011, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-merry-christmas-not-happy-holidays/604812/347 "2011-12-06T02:09:24Z")
roger admin!
well, now that i’m properly informed as to what methods to commit murder are acceptable in this forum, let’s keep the holiday spirit!
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### Author:  [@sqweels](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sqweels)
#### Post date: [December 6, 2011, 2:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-merry-christmas-not-happy-holidays/604812/348 "2011-12-06T02:35:12Z")
Political Correctness cuts both ways, eh?
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### Author:  [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)
#### Post date: [December 6, 2011, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-merry-christmas-not-happy-holidays/604812/349 "2011-12-06T02:59:29Z")
Just received this in my email today, posting to confirm that us "Happy Holiday"ers really aren’t the uptight ones after all…
FIRST CHRISTMAS CARD
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### Author:  [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)
#### Post date: [December 6, 2011, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-merry-christmas-not-happy-holidays/604812/350 "2011-12-06T03:09:14Z")
Well crap, I don’t know why it didn’t post. Trying again…
FIRST CHRISTMAS CARD
Twas the month before Christmas
When all through our land,
Not a Christian was praying
Nor taking a stand.
See the PC Police had taken away
The reason for Christmas - no one could say.
The children were told by their schools not to sing
About Shepherds and Wise Men and Angels and things.
It might hurt people’s feelings, the teachers would say
December 25th is just a ’ Holiday’.
Yet the shoppers were ready with cash, checks and credit
Pushing folks down to the floor just to get it!
CDs from Madonna, an X BOX, an I-Pod
Something was changing, something quite odd!
Retailers promoted Ramadan and Kwanzaa
In hopes to sell books by Franken & Fonda.
As Targets were hanging their trees upside down
At Lowe’s the word Christmas - was no where to be found.
At K-Mart and Staples and Penny’s and Sears
You won’t hear the word Christmas; it won’t touch your ears.
Inclusive, sensitive, Di-ver-si-ty
Are words that were used to intimidate me.
Now Daschle, Now Darden, Now Sharpton, Wolf Blitzen
On Boxer, on Rather, on Kerry, on Clinton!
At the top of the Senate, there arose such a clatter
To eliminate Jesus, in all public matter.
And we spoke not a word, as they took away our faith
Forbidden to speak of salvation and grace
The true Gift of Christmas was exchanged and discarded
The reason for the season, stopped before it started.
So as you celebrate ‘Winter Break’ under your ‘Dream Tree’
Sipping your Starbucks, listen to me.
Choose your words carefully, choose what you say
Shout MERRY CHRISTMAS,
Not Happy Holiday!
Please, all Christians join together and
Wish everyone you meet
MERRY CHRISTMAS
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### Author:  [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)
#### Post date: [December 6, 2011, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-merry-christmas-not-happy-holidays/604812/351 "2011-12-06T03:14:24Z")
Wolf Blitzen?? That’s priceless.
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### Author:  [@mac\_bolan00](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mac_bolan00)
#### Post date: [December 6, 2011, 4:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-merry-christmas-not-happy-holidays/604812/352 "2011-12-06T04:52:42Z")
HA! HA! HA! HA! you know, there was a time when i thought i was the only one with this problem. brilliant song!
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### Author:  [@devilsknew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/devilsknew)
#### Post date: [December 6, 2011, 6:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-merry-christmas-not-happy-holidays/604812/353 "2011-12-06T06:38:37Z")
Oh, bless your heart, isn’t that so precious and Retirement Park Florida glurgy. There are probably butterflies, American Flags, and animated Jesuses with that e-mail attachment.
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### Author:  [@mac\_bolan00](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mac_bolan00)
#### Post date: [December 6, 2011, 6:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-merry-christmas-not-happy-holidays/604812/354 "2011-12-06T06:44:32Z")
i’m glad you didn’t include things alluding to anything east of the rhine between 1933 and 1945. 😉
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### Author:  [@devilsknew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/devilsknew)
#### Post date: [December 6, 2011, 6:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-merry-christmas-not-happy-holidays/604812/355 "2011-12-06T06:56:07Z")
I’ll tell you what other glurgy racist bullshit I get along with that kind of conservative Christian Xmas claptrap that purports to be clever.
How about this example of Rhodes Scholar prose and poetry received with the same ignorant Xmas messages.
[Quote=Tea Party and Christian Republican shitheeels that have very little to do with Christ and don’t understand his message]
Night Befo’ Crizzmus
Wus da night afo’ Crizzmus, and all thru da hood,
everybody be sleepin’ and da sleepin’ be good.
We hunged up our stockins, an hoped like all heck,
dat Obama gunna brang us our checks.
All of da family, was lay’in on da flo’,
my sister wif her gurlfriend,
my brother wif some ho.
Ashtrays was all full , empty beer cans and all
when I heared such a fuss, I thunk…“Sh’eet, must be da law”.
I pulled the sheet off da window and what I’ze could see,
I was spectin’ the sherrif, wif a warrent fo’ me.
But what did I see, made me say, “Lawd look 'a dat!”
Dere was a huge watermelon, pulled by eight big-ass rats.
Now ovah da years, Santy Claws he be white,
but it looks like us brotha’s, got a black un’ tonight.
Faster than a poe’lice car, my homeboy he came,
and whupped up on dem rats, as he called dem by name.
On Biden, On Jessie, On Pelosi and Hillary Who, On Fannie, On Freddie, On Ayers, and Slick Willy too.
Obama landed dat melon, right there in da street,
I knowed it fo’ sho’, - can you believe that Sheet?
Dat Santy didn’t need no chimley, he picked da lock on my do’,
an I sez to myself, “Son o’ bitch…he don did dis befo!”
He had a big bag, full of presents - at first I suspeck?
Wif “Air Jordans” and fake gold, to wear roun’ my neck.
But he left me no presents, just started stealin my shit.
He got my guns and my crack, and my new burglers kit.
Den, wif my shit in his bag, out da windo’ he flew,
I sho’ woulda shanked him, be he snagged my blade too!
He jumped back on dat melon, wif out even a hitch,
and waz gone in two seconds, da democrat sonofabitch.
So nex year I be hopin’, a white Santy we git,
'cause a black Santy Claws, just ain’t worf a shit!
[/QUOTE]
Merry Fuckin’ Xmas, you Repug shitbags!
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### Author:  [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)
#### Post date: [December 6, 2011, 6:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-merry-christmas-not-happy-holidays/604812/356 "2011-12-06T06:57:03Z")
You know, when I worked with customers, not once was I ever told not to say “Merry Christmas”, or whatever. Not once. Anyone else have experience with this?
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### Author:  [@mac\_bolan00](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mac_bolan00)
#### Post date: [December 6, 2011, 7:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-merry-christmas-not-happy-holidays/604812/357 "2011-12-06T07:02:17Z")
nah, always been a customer. but i appreciate your anecdote all the same. 😉
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### Author:  [@mac\_bolan00](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mac_bolan00)
#### Post date: [December 6, 2011, 7:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-merry-christmas-not-happy-holidays/604812/358 "2011-12-06T07:46:40Z")
> [@DianaG](#):
>
> mac’s gettin’ nuthin’ for Christmas. Jesus thinks he’s an asshole.
it’s santa, ignoramus.
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### Author:  [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)
#### Post date: [December 6, 2011, 11:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-merry-christmas-not-happy-holidays/604812/359 "2011-12-06T11:29:40Z")
Oh, you believe in Santa too? That’s adorable.
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### Author:  [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)
#### Post date: [December 6, 2011, 11:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-merry-christmas-not-happy-holidays/604812/360 "2011-12-06T11:37:33Z")
devilsknew, I think I’d have replied “I sincerely hope that your home is destroyed in a holiday tree fire, you dead-to-me shitbags.”
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