# Its my birthday... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 22, 2010, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-my-birthday/526037 "2010-01-22T21:07:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Translucent\_Daydream](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/translucent_daydream/32/16170_2.png) [@Translucent\_Daydream](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Translucent_Daydream)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2010, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-my-birthday/526037/1 "2010-01-22T21:07:50Z")
and I am 26 today! So tell me a joke. šŸ™‚ ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2010, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-my-birthday/526037/2 "2010-01-22T21:10:49Z")
You just crossed the line between young and old. Hereā€™s your cane. Congrats.šŸ˜ƒ ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2010, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-my-birthday/526037/3 "2010-01-22T21:14:08Z")
For his birthday the monster asked for a heavy sweaterā€¦ So they gave him a sumo wrestler! \< ba dump du dum \> Happy Birthday!! ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2010, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-my-birthday/526037/4 "2010-01-22T21:20:02Z")
What did the mayonnaise say when I opened the refrigerator? Shut the door, Iā€™m dressing! Happy birthday!!!šŸ™‚ ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2010, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-my-birthday/526037/5 "2010-01-22T21:24:59Z")
What do you call an Italian with a rubber toe? (Rolling your rā€™s, with heavy Italian accentā€¦) ROBERTO !!! Oh, and Happy Birthday to you! ---
**Author:** ![Slypork](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9fc29f/32.png) [@Slypork](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slypork)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2010, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-my-birthday/526037/6 "2010-01-22T21:50:21Z")
Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff - bā€™doom, tssh. But hereā€™s the [video](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8eXj97stbG8)to prove itā€™s not really a joke! ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2010, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-my-birthday/526037/7 "2010-01-22T21:50:46Z")
Its _not_ your birthday. _Itā€™s_ your birthday. šŸ˜ƒ Happy Birthday!!!11!! ---
**Author:** ![mo50](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8797f3/32.png) [@mo50](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mo50)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2010, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-my-birthday/526037/8 "2010-01-22T22:06:57Z")
Horse walks into a bar. Bartender says ā€œWhy the long face?ā€ Okay, okay, I wonā€™t quit my day job. :smack: Happy Birthday! šŸ™‚ ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2010, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-my-birthday/526037/9 "2010-01-22T22:32:16Z")
Three Dopers die and go to heaven. A door opens and the most hideous of women walks through and St. Peter looks at the first Doper and says ā€œrunner pat you havenā€™t been the best person on earth you could have been, you will now spend eternity with Esmerelda here.ā€ Next another door opens and the ugliest man ever seen walks through. St. Peter looks at the 2nd doper and says, ā€œAlice the Goon you havenā€™t been the best person on earth you could have been, you will now spend eternity with Gerald here.ā€ Finally a third door opens and Megan Fox walks through. St. Peter looks at Megan and says, ā€œMegan Fox you havenā€™t been the best person on earth you could have been, you will now spend eternity with Translucent Daydream here.ā€ ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2010, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-my-birthday/526037/10 "2010-01-22T22:35:28Z")
Whatā€™s blackandwhiteandgreenandwhiteandblack and smells awful? Two skunks fighting over a pickle. Oh and you share a birthday with at least one other doper. **Spazcat** is the big 3-0 today. ---
**Author:** ![freckafree](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/freckafree/32/3050_2.png) [@freckafree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/freckafree)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2010, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-my-birthday/526037/11 "2010-01-22T22:38:10Z")
What do you get when you throw a bomb in a French kitchen? Linoleum blown apart Happy Birthday! And get off my lawn, you damn kid! ---
**Author:** ![Karen\_Lingel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/karen_lingel/32/18649_2.png) [@Karen\_Lingel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Karen_Lingel)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2010, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-my-birthday/526037/12 "2010-01-22T22:50:07Z")
If ya keep askinā€™ for jokes, Iā€™m a-gonna keep postinā€™ this: A North Dakotan decides to go ice fishing. He finds a good spot on the ice and starts to drill a hole. Suddenly a big booming voice rings out: ā€œNORTH DAKOTAN! THERE ARE NO FISH DOWN THERE!!!ā€ The North Dakotan is surprised, but sets off to find another likely spot, and starts to drill another hole. Again, the big booming voice cries out: ā€œNORTH DAKOTAN! THERE ARE NO FISH DOWN THERE!!!ā€ The North Dakotan is a little startled, but looks around for a better spot. Even before he starts to drill a hole, he hears the big booming voice: ā€œNORTH DAKOTAN! THERE ARE NO FISH DOWN THERE!!!ā€ ā€œOKā€, the North Dakotan calls out. ā€œBut who are you, anyway? God?ā€ ā€œNOā€ says the big, booming voice, ā€œIā€™M THE ARENA MANAGER.ā€ ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2010, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-my-birthday/526037/13 "2010-01-22T22:58:04Z")
Sorry, no joke - but hereā€™s wishing you a good day, a good year and a great life. Happy Birthday. ---
**Author:** ![Drain\_Bead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e47774/32.png) [@Drain\_Bead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drain_Bead)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2010, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-my-birthday/526037/14 "2010-01-23T00:20:14Z")
What was Michael Jacksonā€™s favorite thing about sex with twenty-six-year-olds? There are twenty of them! ---
**Author:** ![Roland\_Orzabal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c2a13f/32.png) [@Roland\_Orzabal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roland_Orzabal)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2010, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-my-birthday/526037/15 "2010-01-23T00:24:04Z")
Hey, youā€™re exactly one day younger than me. Happy birthday! Iā€™m liking the whole ā€œ26ā€ thing so far; I think we rock it well. šŸ˜‰ ---
**Author:** ![ladyfoxfyre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ad7895/32.png) [@ladyfoxfyre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ladyfoxfyre)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2010, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-my-birthday/526037/16 "2010-01-23T02:30:25Z")
**Roland Orzabal** , my birthday was yesterday too. Happy birthday to us! ---
**Author:** ![luv2draw](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/46a35a/32.png) [@luv2draw](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/luv2draw)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2010, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-my-birthday/526037/17 "2010-01-23T03:13:44Z")
Youā€™re 26? Just remember that there will come a day in the future when you wonā€™t remember what it feels like to be 26. No joke. šŸ˜ƒ Happy Birthday!!! ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2010, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-my-birthday/526037/18 "2010-01-23T03:19:08Z")
And a Happy belated Birthday to both **Roland** and **ladyfoxfyre** too! ---
**Author:** ![Uncle\_Brother\_Walker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/f08c70/32.png) [@Uncle\_Brother\_Walker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uncle_Brother_Walker)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2010, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-my-birthday/526037/19 "2010-01-23T04:14:50Z")
Happy Birthday! Hereā€™s one: Not original, not my own, but here goes. A blonde is sitting at the table crying when her boyfriend comes in and asks whatā€™s the matter. She blurts out ā€œIā€™m never going to get this puzzle put together. The picture on the box shows a tiger but I canā€™t get it.ā€ The boyfriend tries to console her. ā€œHoney,ā€ he says ā€œthereā€™s no way youā€™re going to get these pieces to look like a tiger. So why donā€™t we put all the Frosted Flakes back in the box and do something else, okay?ā€