# It's not even winter and I already hate you motherfuckers **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 15, 2013, 4:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-not-even-winter-and-i-already-hate-you-motherfuckers/676354 "2013-12-15T04:08:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Mooch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7bcc69/32.png) [@Mooch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mooch)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2013, 4:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-not-even-winter-and-i-already-hate-you-motherfuckers/676354/1 "2013-12-15T04:08:53Z")
Fuck you cunts who can manage to shovel your driveway but can’t be fucked to figure out the fucking sidewalk. Cram it in your fucking cramholes. Up yours to the assholes who think that if they cover their dog shit with snow it fucking disappears. It fucking doesn’t. I’d like to put it in your fucking mail slot. My dog likes to eat frozen dog shit and it’s fucking gross and your lazy asses are not fucking helping. I can’t fucking wait until spring when they all thaw out on the sidewalk. It’s gonna be fucking sweet. You stupid shit heels driving down the Kennedy with a foot of fucking snow on the roof flying off in sheets because you couldn’t be fucking fucked to clean it off and it lands on my goddamned windshield - fuck you, you herpes infested cum bubbles. Back to the sidewalks - shovel your fucking sidewalk you lazy fucking reprobates. I hate everything about you. I don’t even know you and I hate you. Fucking coprophiliacs. Wipe your kid’s fucking noses. Teach them how to blow their nose. My kids can manage to not have rivers of fucking snot flowing down their goddamned faces - figure it out, dipshits. ANYTHING ELSE? Well, not now. But soon. Maybe. I’m sure I got some more. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2013, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-not-even-winter-and-i-already-hate-you-motherfuckers/676354/2 "2013-12-15T04:49:18Z")
It may cheer you some to know that meteorological winter began Dec. 1, meaning winter is nearly one-sixth of the way over! Or maybe not. ---
**Author:** ![bobot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bobot/32/21622_2.png) [@bobot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bobot)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2013, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-not-even-winter-and-i-already-hate-you-motherfuckers/676354/3 "2013-12-15T04:56:24Z")
Right on! Tell 'em! I’m with you about the fucking sidewalks. I shovel mine, neighbors help those who have trouble doing it themselves, but the young lazy fuckin pricks who don’t care about the schoolkids being dropped off of busses with nowhere to walk and leave no walking option in front of their place- no neighbor of mine is going to go out of their way to help those crophobiacs! Or whatever you called them! ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2013, 4:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-not-even-winter-and-i-already-hate-you-motherfuckers/676354/4 "2013-12-15T04:59:10Z")
Yeah! I 100% support this frothing at the mouth! And quit shovelling your fucking snow onto the road, too. And move your stupid car when they’re trying to clear the snow off the road. ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2013, 11:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-not-even-winter-and-i-already-hate-you-motherfuckers/676354/5 "2013-12-15T11:49:23Z")
> [@Mooch](#): > > - fuck you, you herpes infested cum bubble… Oh, I am SO borrowing this. ---
**Author:** ![Cyros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a698b9/32.png) [@Cyros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cyros)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2013, 12:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-not-even-winter-and-i-already-hate-you-motherfuckers/676354/6 "2013-12-15T12:26:56Z")
Take your sidewalk rant, fold it until it is all sharp corners and pass it up yer corn hole! I’m not spending an extra 45 minutes moving the 4ft high pile of dense heavy crap that the plot leaves on my sidewalk when literally nobody else does it. It is bad enough that the city sees fit to move this shit into the end of my driveway and forces me to remove it if I want to leave the house. To add insult to injury the city has sidewalk snowblowers that it sends through every subdivision in the area but ours so my municipal tax dollars are already being put towards sidewalk clearing, just not mine. ---
**Author:** ![Alma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecd19e/32.png) [@Alma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alma)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2013, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-not-even-winter-and-i-already-hate-you-motherfuckers/676354/7 "2013-12-15T14:04:14Z")
If you’re going to shovel your damn walk, SHOVEL ALL THE WAY. Don’t just leave a pile at the corner where the walk meets the street. It does little good if the walks are ok but I have to climb over two feet of snow or a solid block of ice just to get to the street. ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2013, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-not-even-winter-and-i-already-hate-you-motherfuckers/676354/8 "2013-12-15T14:53:37Z")
> [@Cyros](#): > > Take your sidewalk rant, fold it until it is all sharp corners and pass it up yer corn hole! I’m not spending an extra 45 minutes moving the 4ft high pile of dense heavy crap that the plot leaves on my sidewalk when literally nobody else does it. It is bad enough that the city sees fit to move this shit into the end of my driveway and forces me to remove it if I want to leave the house. To add insult to injury the city has sidewalk snowblowers that it sends through every subdivision in the area but ours so my municipal tax dollars are already being put towards sidewalk clearing, just not mine. Fuck you, you lazy fucking cumin bubble. Shovel your fucking walk and stop making goddamed excuses. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2013, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-not-even-winter-and-i-already-hate-you-motherfuckers/676354/9 "2013-12-15T14:59:26Z")
Man, I love living in the sticks. I’m sure we own a snow shovel. It’s probably up in the shed. We host xmas eve with my family, so every few years I have to shovel a bit. Our road is private, so there is no plowing. That’s why jesus gave us 4WD and an integral garage. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Shoujin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shoujin/32/3884_2.png) [@Shoujin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shoujin)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2013, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-not-even-winter-and-i-already-hate-you-motherfuckers/676354/10 "2013-12-15T15:34:25Z")
Howabout, learn how to fucking drive in the goddamn fucking snow! That rear wheel drive $100 k status symbol will NOT handle well if you decide to “gun it”. That Lexus Landmass your soccer-mom ass is driving CAN go faster than 10 mph in the snow! Its Chicagoland! WE GET FUCKING SNOW! GET USED TO IT!!! Hey, I feel better now. ---
**Author:** ![Justin\_Bailey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/justin_bailey/32/8792_2.png) [@Justin\_Bailey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Justin_Bailey)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2013, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-not-even-winter-and-i-already-hate-you-motherfuckers/676354/11 "2013-12-15T15:49:00Z")
Shovel the sidewalk? Fuck that! I pay taxes precisely so the town can send sidewalk plows all over town. If you’re in such a hurry to use the sidewalk and the plow hasn’t come through yet, shovel it yourself! ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Miskatonic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mr.miskatonic/32/310_2.png) [@Mr.Miskatonic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Miskatonic)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2013, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-not-even-winter-and-i-already-hate-you-motherfuckers/676354/12 "2013-12-15T16:15:07Z")
Wait, some people’s excuse for not shoveling is ‘wah! the township should do it for me!’?? ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2013, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-not-even-winter-and-i-already-hate-you-motherfuckers/676354/13 "2013-12-15T17:00:14Z")
I’ve got a driveway big enough to hold a game of soccer to blow, and a nonexistent sidewalk. Wait…I’ve gotten lost. Do you hate me or not? ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2013, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-not-even-winter-and-i-already-hate-you-motherfuckers/676354/14 "2013-12-15T17:28:53Z")
> [@Alma](#): > > If you’re going to shovel your damn walk, SHOVEL ALL THE WAY. Don’t just leave a pile at the corner where the walk meets the street. It does little good if the walks are ok but I have to climb over two feet of snow or a solid block of ice just to get to the street. Works well to the tune of “Jingle Bells” 🙂 “Sho-- velllll– Your damn walk Shovel all the way! Oh what fun it is to shovel A one-horse open sleigh.” ---
**Author:** ![Cyros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a698b9/32.png) [@Cyros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cyros)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2013, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-not-even-winter-and-i-already-hate-you-motherfuckers/676354/15 "2013-12-15T18:05:09Z")
> [@Mr.Miskatonic](#): > > Wait, some people’s excuse for not shoveling is ‘wah! the township should do it for me!’?? Nope, my excuse is that the city does do the sidewalks, just not ours. Of course our sidewalks are less than two years old and don’t actually go all the way up the street so maybe in 5 years when they are finally completed we will have them done. Until then, fuck it. The sidewalk doesn’t go anywhere and half the road has to walk on the street anyway due to a lack of sidewalks. Just not something that we worry about here. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2013, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-not-even-winter-and-i-already-hate-you-motherfuckers/676354/16 "2013-12-15T18:11:07Z")
It never ceases to amaze me that people feel so guilty about their vaguely related situations that they come to defend themselves in a thread that wasn’t about them. If your sidewalk isn’t a public thoroughfare, or if you’re not responsible for shoveling the sidewalk in front of your house, then STFU, the OP wasn’t talking about you. If it is your responsibility and you’re too lazy to shovel, then fucking move into a goddamn apartment or condo where they have people to do it for you. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2013, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-not-even-winter-and-i-already-hate-you-motherfuckers/676354/17 "2013-12-15T20:50:49Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > \ If it is your responsibility and you’re too lazy to shovel, then fucking move into a goddamn apartment or condo where they have people to do it for you. You bring up another rant - rental units that don’t shovel their fucking sidewalks. Someone, somewhere owns that property, and they are responsible for clearing that sidewalk in a timely fashion - just because the owner doesn’t live there doesn’t let him off the hook for upkeep like this. I think absentee landlords like this should be frozen to a pole in the public square with frozen piss. ---
**Author:** ![curlcoat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ea5d25/32.png) [@curlcoat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/curlcoat)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2013, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-not-even-winter-and-i-already-hate-you-motherfuckers/676354/18 "2013-12-15T20:51:53Z")
God, I don’t miss living in a place that has winter … not at all. ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2013, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-not-even-winter-and-i-already-hate-you-motherfuckers/676354/19 "2013-12-15T21:46:08Z")
If the plows would let me get out of the driveway before rebuilding that 2 1/2 feet wall of snow that I just cleared, I’d appreciate it. ---
**Author:** ![flatlined](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb9ed0/32.png) [@flatlined](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flatlined)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2013, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-not-even-winter-and-i-already-hate-you-motherfuckers/676354/20 "2013-12-15T21:54:41Z")
> [@curlcoat](#): > > God, I don’t miss living in a place that has winter … > > not at all. Word. I never even knew that shoveling sidewalks was a thing until I came here. It snowed a couple of times a year in Prescott, but it always melted off the next day. I didn’t know that people would steal cords that are needed to keep cars warm either. Of course, I didn’t know that cars had block heaters. I learn so much here and the big thing I’ve learned is that I will never live in a place that has winter. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-not-even-winter-and-i-already-hate-you-motherfuckers/676354.md?page=2)