# It's not just YOUR thread, Eve! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 11, 2003, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-not-just-your-thread-eve/187710 "2003-07-11T14:02:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![you\_with\_the\_face](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/ecccb3/32.png) [@you\_with\_the\_face](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/you_with_the_face)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2003, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-not-just-your-thread-eve/187710/41 "2003-07-11T21:04:23Z")
by **Ukelele Ike** > [@](#): > > There’s something really wrong about wearing a dark shirt with light trousers. That looks good to me! Dark with light makes for a pleasing contrast to the eye. Two different colors of similar lightness make for visual dissonance akin to two adjacent piano keys being played simulatenously. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2003, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-not-just-your-thread-eve/187710/42 "2003-07-11T21:17:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jean Grey \* > \*\*And since when does navy not go with beige? Everything goes with beige. Doesn’t it? \*\* I don’t think so-I mean, hot pink and beige? Lime green and beige? Nope, I can’t see it. Dark crimson wine and beige? Eeeeh…if it’s a golden kind of beige, not that dirty carpet kind of beige. ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2003, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-not-just-your-thread-eve/187710/43 "2003-07-11T21:19:45Z")
So, um, since jeans go with everything, how about beige jeans? Or am I about to be slapped with a wet noodle for even asking? ---
**Author:** ![Tars\_Tarkas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Tars\_Tarkas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tars_Tarkas)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2003, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-not-just-your-thread-eve/187710/44 "2003-07-11T21:45:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Eve \* > \*\*• No. Navy and beige do not go together, though it’s a far sight better than, say, navy and _black_. > \*\* ::Looks as his navy T-shirt and black dress pants:: ah, well, at least i’m wearing pants this time… ---
**Author:** ![MaddyStrut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/dbc845/32.png) [@MaddyStrut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MaddyStrut)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2003, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-not-just-your-thread-eve/187710/45 "2003-07-11T21:45:40Z")
Eeek! I have worn khaki and beige with many shades of blue (including navy). I have worn khaki pants with dark colored shirts. And I had to look up “prepossessing” after reading **Eve’s** pit post. I feel so inadequate! ---
**Author:** ![Jaade](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/dfb087/32.png) [@Jaade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jaade)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2003, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-not-just-your-thread-eve/187710/46 "2003-07-11T21:54:53Z")
Eve, how do they not go together? ~looks down at her navy shirt and khaki shorts~ Eddie Bauer will be sorely disappointed… Now navy and black, I’m with you there… Ferret Herder, one of the other girls was Persephone (sp?) Also Eve, there is a guy that I work with (white as the lily) who said he would never marry a white girl, only Asian or Mexican, because they “age better”. He’s married to a Mexican lady now. He is ugly, did I mention that. He’s worried about how someone will age, with that face? ~sigh~ ---
**Author:** ![herownself](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/8baadc/32.png) [@herownself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/herownself)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2003, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-not-just-your-thread-eve/187710/47 "2003-07-11T22:07:35Z")
Beige goes nicely with black. Navy is lovely with white. Black and navy together are only acceptable when watching [lacrosse](http://hopkinssports.ocsn.com/), and then only sometimes. ---
**Author:** ![sugaree](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cc9497/32.png) [@sugaree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sugaree)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2003, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-not-just-your-thread-eve/187710/48 "2003-07-11T22:33:09Z")
Dark pants or skirt with a lighter-colored top is supposed to make you look taller and thinner. On that principal, I have worn black pants and a navy sweater. I am a fool. ---
**Author:** ![Oy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bc8723/32.png) [@Oy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oy)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2003, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-not-just-your-thread-eve/187710/49 "2003-07-11T23:26:27Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by matt\_mcl \* > \*\*Oh, I see, **Avh**. Judging from your pronouns, I thought the transition had gone in the other direction. Does your ex prefer masculine pronouns? \*\* /Hijack No. He was a man when we married. Some seven years later he acquired the legal status and physical body of a woman. I’m sure if I met him for the first time now, even knowing his history, I would think of him and refer to him as **she** and **her**. But he was my _husband_. I taught him how to do make up, and how to dress like a real woman rather than a slut on acid (which seems to me to be what most ts’s do when they first start out - presumably from lack of experience and eagerness to get into the most “feminine” outfit they can find). To me, the surgery simply took the costume down to another level. He was still _himself_ and always would be. Sorry if that’s not PC enough for you folks, but hey, I wasn’t going to lie about it. Not surprisingly, this caused some friction between us, but it was not why we split up. We split up because I couldn’t imagine that he went through all of that in order to remain married to me, and because, much as I loved him, I knew I was and am better suited to living alone. /End Hijack ---
**Author:** ![FisherQueen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/58f4c7/32.png) [@FisherQueen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FisherQueen)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2003, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-not-just-your-thread-eve/187710/50 "2003-07-11T23:49:00Z")
Is there something terribly wrong with me, that I find the question of finding True Love as a transsexual less fascinating than the question of whether I’m committing a fashion faux pas by wearing a navy shirt with khaki pants? I mean, Eve knows that she has an active fan club here at the SDMB, and it sounds like, despite the naysayers, she’s fairly content with her life, but if I ever do get to meet her, I’d hate to think she was saying to herself, ‘This FisherQueen is utterly lacking in taste, to wear khaki pants with a navy shirt.’ I’d probably have to go off and commit hari-kiri in an attempt to redeem myself. Does arterial red go with navy? ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2003, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-not-just-your-thread-eve/187710/51 "2003-07-12T00:28:34Z")
I’m backing quietly out of this thread: The OP has been settled; I do not wish to offend you lovely navy-and-khaki wearers; and there is no way in hell I am touching the tar baby **AvhHines** just dropped on us. ---
**Author:** ![spathiphyllum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6f9a4e/32.png) [@spathiphyllum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/spathiphyllum)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2003, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-not-just-your-thread-eve/187710/52 "2003-07-12T00:33:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Eve \* > \*\*But discovered, through trial and error, that **a)** I like living alone, and, **b)** gentlemen friends could _not_ deal with Baby’s Little Secret. \*\* If you’re genuinely happy about being single I say more power to you. I too feel like I will probably never again get into a relationship. But frankly, the impression I get from your posts is that you feel like no man would ever accept you because you’re transgender (from the above quote and the “run for the hills” quote in the OP). I doubt that’s true. I can believe that most hetero men in the 80s couldn’t deal with it. On the other hand, I recall one of my bisexual friends telling me a while back that he doesn’t think of potential partners in terms of gender. I’m sure nowadays there are other men out there (bisexual or otherwise) who don’t freak out at the thought of dating a transgendered person. If you ever decide you want to date again, perhaps online dating would be more fruitful…not necessarily on a website FOR TG dating (although a quick websearch I just did showed that, sure enough, there are such dating sites)…but even just using a general site like [match.com](http://match.com) would make it easier to screen out guys who have a problem than it would have been years ago. You seem like you’ve got a lot going for you, so I’m not saying you should necessarily be dating. I agree that not everyone needs to have a partner. But I think if you want to date you need not consider it a lost cause. ---
**Author:** ![omni-not](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8dc957/32.png) [@omni-not](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/omni-not)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2003, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-not-just-your-thread-eve/187710/53 "2003-07-12T00:42:48Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by FisherQueen \* > \*\*Does arterial red go with navy? \*\* Lovely. Not the visual effect, of course. The wit. You’ve made my day, **FQ**. If **Eve** peremptorily asserts that beige and navy are a definite _faux pas_, I shudder to think what her reaction would be at the sight of arterial red and navy…😃 ---
**Author:** ![KellyM](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/57b2e6/32.png) [@KellyM](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KellyM)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2003, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-not-just-your-thread-eve/187710/54 "2003-07-12T23:37:05Z")
**AvhHines** , you two were better apart anyway. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Oy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bc8723/32.png) [@Oy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oy)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2003, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-not-just-your-thread-eve/187710/55 "2003-07-13T02:50:20Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by KellyM \* > \*\ ***AvhHines** , you two were better apart anyway. :rolleyes: \*\* **KellyM** , I don’t know if you’re rolling your eyes about me or my ex, but you’re right. We are better off, but again, that’s because I’m much better suited to being alone. **Eve** , I’m not sure what throwing a tar baby into the thread means, but please believe me when I say that I’m not the enemy. I was extremely supportive of my husband’s choice (and it _was_ a choice in his case; he was not suicidal, self-mutilating, or even desperately unhappy, but rather decided that he would be happier as a woman). But he had been (and in my eyes still was) my husband. I couldn’t see him any other way, no matter what he looked like. If it offends you that I continued to call him “he” and “him,” I’m truly sorry, because you strike me as someone whose good opinion I’d like to have. But while I accomodated his wants and needs as far as I could, this did not negate my own. I perceived him as a man, and I was and am unwilling to lie about something as important as that within my own marriage. ---
**Author:** ![KellyM](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/57b2e6/32.png) [@KellyM](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KellyM)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2003, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-not-just-your-thread-eve/187710/56 "2003-07-13T03:48:28Z")
**AvhHines** , for someone who claims to be supportive you certainly do not understand. Your ex is better off without you. ---
**Author:** ![Oy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bc8723/32.png) [@Oy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oy)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2003, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-not-just-your-thread-eve/187710/57 "2003-07-13T04:22:40Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by KellyM \* > \*\ ***AvhHines** , for someone who claims to be supportive you certainly do not understand. Your ex is better off without you. \*\* I agree that he is better off without me, but not for the reasons you obviously believe to be true. If you choose to make that kind of judgement while knowing nothing whatsoever of my ex, me, or our circumstances, that’s your problem. Enjoy your sense of moral surperiority. ---
**Author:** ![KellyM](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/57b2e6/32.png) [@KellyM](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KellyM)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2003, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-not-just-your-thread-eve/187710/58 "2003-07-13T04:28:50Z")
**AvhHines** , I only know what you have told us here. And from that we can conclude that, indeed, you do not understand, you do not wish to understand, and in fact you choose not to understand. As such, your ex (and in fact the entire world) is better off without you. Small wonder you can’t find someone to share your life. If this is not the conclusion you wish for others to draw about you, you should either clarify your statements, or change your attitudes. ---
**Author:** ![Flamsterette\_X](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/41988e/32.png) [@Flamsterette\_X](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flamsterette_X)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2003, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-not-just-your-thread-eve/187710/59 "2003-07-13T04:37:26Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Eve \* > \*\*• If there are “guys who like transsexuals” club, they would just strike me as . . . I dunno, kinda _creepy_, like men who are only turned on by women in glasses, or Asian women. \*\* You know, I once heard of a club made up of men who were turned on by women in casts. F\_X ---
**Author:** ![Flamsterette\_X](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/41988e/32.png) [@Flamsterette\_X](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flamsterette_X)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2003, 4:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-not-just-your-thread-eve/187710/60 "2003-07-13T04:50:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by KellyM \* > \*\ ***AvhHines** , I only know what you have told us here. And from that we can conclude that, indeed, you do not understand, you do not wish to understand, and in fact you choose not to understand. As such, your ex (and in fact the entire world) is better off without you. Small wonder you can’t find someone to share your life. > > If this is not the conclusion you wish for others to draw about you, you should either clarify your statements, or change your attitudes. \*\* What do you think **AvhHines** doesn’t understand? The need of her husband to identify as a woman, and thus to have everyone in his life now refer to him as such? It’s probably not easy just to switch from calling your husband a man, to calling him a woman… even once the operation is done, y’know. Maybe you should consider THAT, **KellyM**. Yes, gender idientity is important… but to suddenly refer to someone whom you were MARRIED to as a woman (when in all your history together, you’d known him as a man… pre-op TS or not) probably isn’t as easy as 1-2-3. I generally don’t go telling people what they can do or not, but don’t you DARE go around telling people who might not have such a full understanding of the TS world… that kind of stuff. Certainly I don’t take it lightly when people tell others that the entire world is better off without them because of some unseen fault in them. If she doesn’t refer to husband as a woman these days, that COULD be wrong in your eyes. (I’m getting that impression from your posts) But it **ABSOLUTELY DOES NOT MEAN** that everyone is better off without her. Attacking her self-esteem and self-image is not going to fly with me, at the very least. She was as supportive as she could be… giving him pointers on how to dress, how to apply makeup, and so on. And if she decided that she was better off living alone, that doesn’t mean that she was such a bitch that not even her husband could get along with her. So don’t you dare say anything like that again! Then again, this is just my heterosexual opinion… feel free to discount it if you wish. :rolleyes: F\_X [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-not-just-your-thread-eve/187710.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-not-just-your-thread-eve/187710.md?page=4)