# It's not just YOUR thread, Eve! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 11, 2003, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-not-just-your-thread-eve/187710 "2003-07-11T14:02:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![brachyrhynchos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/brachyrhynchos/32/376_2.png) [@brachyrhynchos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brachyrhynchos)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2003, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-not-just-your-thread-eve/187710/81 "2003-07-13T13:33:21Z")
Thanks **AvhHines** for the clarification. I did google around a bit and found [this cite on gender identity](http://www.gladd.dircon.co.uk/trans_defn.htm) which also cleared some things up for me. After reading this, I cannot say that my perception of reality would be as valid as my hypothetical husband’s perception of _her own gender_, but I would certainly would not invalidate yours, for much the same reasons as **Brynda** ’s example gives. ---
**Author:** ![KellyM](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/57b2e6/32.png) [@KellyM](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KellyM)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2003, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-not-just-your-thread-eve/187710/82 "2003-07-13T13:38:44Z")
**Brynda** , that’s about right. And it pisses me off to see people tell me that (just because they can’t understand that inner truth) those of us that have to live through it are deluded (as **AvhHines** is clearly implicating about her ex). It appears to me that **AvhHines** is unable or unwilling to make that painful adjustment. Neither, apparently, was my ex – which is why we’re not together anymore. Not being able to change to accomodate the needs of your loved ones makes it hard to keep loved ones. By the way, **AvhHines** , my gender dysphoria didn’t crystallize out until I was in my mid-20s, although I knew something was wrong with me around age 7. **dropzone** , I hope someday you let go of your ignorance. ---
**Author:** ![Oy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bc8723/32.png) [@Oy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oy)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2003, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-not-just-your-thread-eve/187710/83 "2003-07-13T15:22:25Z")
**KellyM** , the idea that I was implying that my ex was or is deluded is a delusion of _yours._ **Brynda, brachyrhynchos, Ferrous,** and all the others who seem to actually recognize that I too had a right to my feelings and perceptions, thank you. I’ve pretty much said my piece here, and I don’t think I have further anything to add. Believe it or not, I actually mentioned the whole business to demonstrate to **Eve** that I had some degree of sympathy and (within my admitted limits) understanding of her situation. Apparently all I’ve managed to do is to convince **KellyM** , and possibly **Eve** as well, that I am an insensitive oppressor who takes delight in degrading transgendered people. Guess I shoulda kept my mouth shut. Anyway, my point here is that I’m done, and will not comment further on this thread. Best wishes to you all. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2003, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-not-just-your-thread-eve/187710/84 "2003-07-13T16:28:37Z")
**KellyM** , what the FUCK is your deal? For godsakes, she was married to the man-I mean, to her, this person will ALWAYS be the husband she remembers. Must you always be such an anal retentive harpy? ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2003, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-not-just-your-thread-eve/187710/85 "2003-07-13T16:36:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by KellyM \* > \*\ ***dropzone** , I hope someday you let go of your ignorance. \*\* As I said, I’m working on it. My friendship with Eve, which I suspect is stronger on part though I have difficulty separating my fanboy gushing from my genuine affection, and the fact that I knew her for years, and knew of her for longer, only as a woman have made it difficult for me to think of her as anything but a woman. This online buddy thing is still worlds away from AvhHines’ years of marriage with her husband. I can totally understand her reaction and admire how well she has taken it. It must be tough for her. And **KellyM** , I hope someday you can let go of your anger. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2003, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-not-just-your-thread-eve/187710/86 "2003-07-13T16:37:58Z")
Umm, that was supposed to be “stronger on MY part.” ---
**Author:** ![omni-not](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8dc957/32.png) [@omni-not](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/omni-not)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2003, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-not-just-your-thread-eve/187710/87 "2003-07-13T16:57:44Z")
For what it’s worth, you’re more than ok in _my_ book. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2003, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-not-just-your-thread-eve/187710/88 "2003-07-13T17:09:57Z")
I know I am not the OP, but since the question raised in the OP has been addressed, and since this thread has since gone off the rails and plunged into an alligator-infested swamp (with large mosquitos and probably leaking barrels of chemical waste), can we please close it now? ---
**Author:** ![Ferrous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Ferrous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferrous)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2003, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-not-just-your-thread-eve/187710/89 "2003-07-13T17:56:35Z")
I’m sorry , **Eve** …I want to respect your wishes and consider this thing closed even if it isn’t yet, but I just want to say one more thing… > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by AvhHines_\*\* > Brynda, brachyrhynchos, Ferrous, and all others who seem to actually recognize that I too had a right to my feelings and perceptions, thank you.\*\* De nada. I just thought **KellyM** ’s attacks on you were unfair, and felt compelled to stick up for you. You being relatively new and all, I didn’t want you to get the impression that everyone here was judging you as she did. As it turns out though, you’re quite capable of defending yourself, and have done so with admirable style and grace. You’re more than ok in my book as well. ---
**Author:** ![Jodi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7feea3/32.png) [@Jodi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jodi)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2003, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-not-just-your-thread-eve/187710/90 "2003-07-13T19:27:09Z")
Before they wrap this up, allow me also to say: AVHHINES, I thought your posts and POV were totally understandable, and your responses to KELLY were even and classy. Kudos on keeping your temper, which frankly is more than I could have done had I been in your place during this exchange. Well done. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2003, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-not-just-your-thread-eve/187710/91 "2003-07-13T20:40:27Z")
Not one congrats to me for keeping _my_ temper in the face of such provocation? Hmmpphh. Ya act like a lady and try to be polite, and people just assume you were ever even hurt and insulted . . . OK, let’s close this motherfucking piece of shit thread, says The Lady Eve. ---
**Author:** ![Oy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bc8723/32.png) [@Oy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oy)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2003, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-not-just-your-thread-eve/187710/92 "2003-07-13T21:01:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Eve \* > \*\*Not one congrats to me for keeping _my_ temper in the face of such provocation? Hmmpphh. Ya act like a lady and try to be polite, and people just assume you were ever even hurt and insulted . . . > > OK, let’s close this motherfucking piece of shit thread, says The Lady Eve. \*\* **Lady Eve:** I’m perfectly happy to let this thread go. But if I have hurt and/or insulted you (and I’m guessing here that you feel that I have), I’d appreciate knowing how or why (other than insisting that beige does in fact go with navy ). If you would be willing to email me directly to tell me, I would be happy to discuss it with you. As for the rest of you, thanks again for your kind words and support. Now let’s give the **Lady Eve** , and for that matter, **KellyM** , a break, OK? ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Griffin-Kentzel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_griffin-kentzel/32/14787_2.png) [@Larry\_Griffin-Kentzel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Griffin-Kentzel)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2003, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-not-just-your-thread-eve/187710/93 "2003-07-13T21:15:18Z")
Let’s call it a wrap, folks. * * * **Cajun Man** ~ SDMB Moderator [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-not-just-your-thread-eve/187710.md?page=4)