# It's official. John Kerry is Frank Grimes.... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 3, 2004, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-official-john-kerry-is-frank-grimes/272771 "2004-11-03T15:57:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Jackknifed\_Juggernaut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de053/32.png) [@Jackknifed\_Juggernaut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackknifed_Juggernaut)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2004, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-official-john-kerry-is-frank-grimes/272771/1 "2004-11-03T15:57:18Z")
…or “Grimey”, as his friends liked to call him. An intelligent man and hard worker who just doesn’t have a likable personality. Did Kerry by any chance ever live on top of a bowling alley? I’m just waiting for his bastard child via a prostitute to emerge. And of course, GWB is Homer Simpson. A bumbling, ignorant oaf who manages to screw up everything he touches (and has the occasional drunken episode), yet manages to always land on his feet and escape from any real accountability. Friends and acquaintences always forgive his numerous flaws because of his good nature. He lives in a mansion, has a lovely wife and 2 great kids, and probably eats lobster whenever he wants. ---
**Author:** ![Agrippina](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8797f3/32.png) [@Agrippina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Agrippina)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2004, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-official-john-kerry-is-frank-grimes/272771/2 "2004-11-03T16:00:30Z")
“I just went to the bathroom and returned without washing my hands! But it’s OK, because I’m Homer Simpson!” ---
**Author:** ![Jackknifed\_Juggernaut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de053/32.png) [@Jackknifed\_Juggernaut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackknifed_Juggernaut)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2004, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-official-john-kerry-is-frank-grimes/272771/3 "2004-11-03T18:31:22Z")
“Look at me! I’m a worthless employee, just like Homer Simpson! Give me a promotion!” ---
**Author:** ![Gala\_Matrix\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4da419/32.png) [@Gala\_Matrix\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gala_Matrix_Fire)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2004, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-official-john-kerry-is-frank-grimes/272771/4 "2004-11-03T23:44:12Z")
Good one. ---
**Author:** ![interface2x](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c0e974/32.png) [@interface2x](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/interface2x)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2004, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-official-john-kerry-is-frank-grimes/272771/5 "2004-11-03T23:48:19Z")
I heard that Bush is going to redesign the white house to add fins for wind resistance. And that racing stripe there, he feels is pretty sharp. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2004, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-official-john-kerry-is-frank-grimes/272771/6 "2004-11-03T23:51:42Z")
America to Kerry: “Okay, honey, get off the stage, now.” ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2004, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-official-john-kerry-is-frank-grimes/272771/7 "2004-11-03T23:53:30Z")
If this is all true, then _why_, oh why couldn’t Kerry have just let Bush drink the beaker of sulfuric acid? ---
**Author:** ![Wesley\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wesley_clark/32/20581_2.png) [@Wesley\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wesley_Clark)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2004, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-official-john-kerry-is-frank-grimes/272771/8 "2004-11-03T23:59:14Z")
Nice analogy. ---
**Author:** ![Pride\_of\_the\_Peaches](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Pride\_of\_the\_Peaches](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pride_of_the_Peaches)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2004, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-official-john-kerry-is-frank-grimes/272771/9 "2004-11-04T00:54:24Z")
> [@](#): > > Did Kerry by any chance ever live on top of a bowling alley? Oh, and below another bowling alley. Can’t forget that. ---
**Author:** ![Agrippina](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8797f3/32.png) [@Agrippina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Agrippina)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2004, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-official-john-kerry-is-frank-grimes/272771/10 "2004-11-04T01:45:39Z")
> [@Hal Briston](#): > > If this is all true, then _why_, oh why couldn’t Kerry have just let Bush drink the beaker of sulfuric acid? Boy, his face would have been red! ---
**Author:** ![Call\_me\_Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/90ced4/32.png) [@Call\_me\_Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Call_me_Frank)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2004, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-official-john-kerry-is-frank-grimes/272771/11 "2004-11-04T04:00:40Z")
**Frank Grimes** : That’s the man who’s in charge of our safety? It boggles the mind! **Carl Carlson** : It’s best not to think about it. _Beautiful_ analogy. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2004, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-official-john-kerry-is-frank-grimes/272771/12 "2004-11-04T04:07:36Z")
Moving this from IMHO to MPSIMS. ---
**Author:** ![bouv](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bc8723/32.png) [@bouv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bouv)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2004, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-official-john-kerry-is-frank-grimes/272771/13 "2004-11-04T04:22:06Z")
**Grimes** : He eats like a pig! **Carl** : Nah, pigs tend to chew. I’d say it’s more like a duck. Lest we forget about the pretzel chocking incident? Clearly, someone was not chewing and eating like a duck. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2004, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-official-john-kerry-is-frank-grimes/272771/14 "2004-11-04T04:53:01Z")
Oh my god, it’s true. Frank: How can you afford all this stuff? Homer: I dunno. Don’t ask me how the economy works. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2004, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-official-john-kerry-is-frank-grimes/272771/15 "2004-11-04T13:36:30Z")
That makes Abe Simpson George Bush the First. That is so absolutely true. ---
**Author:** ![Agrippina](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8797f3/32.png) [@Agrippina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Agrippina)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2004, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-official-john-kerry-is-frank-grimes/272771/16 "2004-11-04T14:27:22Z")
Frank Grimes: …because I’m Homer Simpson! Homer Simpson: Heh. You wish. Homer: Wow, you have pencils with your name on them! Frank: Any office supply store will be happy to have them made for you. Homer: Can…I have this one? Frank: No. Homer: Can…Lenny have it? Frank: No. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2004, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-official-john-kerry-is-frank-grimes/272771/17 "2004-11-04T14:30:05Z")
Homer Simpson enters a contest for children. George Bush reads a book to children. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2004, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-official-john-kerry-is-frank-grimes/272771/18 "2004-11-05T15:01:04Z")
I can just see Dubya at “Grimmy’s” funeral, asleep, head rolled back, tongue hanging out. ---
**Author:** ![Agrippina](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8797f3/32.png) [@Agrippina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Agrippina)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2004, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-official-john-kerry-is-frank-grimes/272771/19 "2004-11-05T16:25:57Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > I can just see Dubya at “Grimmy’s” funeral, asleep, head rolled back, tongue hanging out. “Laura, change the channel!” “That’s our George!” ---
**Author:** ![Padeye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a9a28c/32.png) [@Padeye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Padeye)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2004, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-official-john-kerry-is-frank-grimes/272771/20 "2004-11-05T16:31:49Z")
[Comic Book Guy]Best analogy ever![/CBG] Does Bush have a third kid he always forgets about? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-official-john-kerry-is-frank-grimes/272771.md?page=2)