# It's ok to fart in the bathroom, really. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 10, 2003, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-ok-to-fart-in-the-bathroom-really/212437 "2003-11-10T18:20:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![smiling\_bandit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@smiling\_bandit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smiling_bandit)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2003, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-ok-to-fart-in-the-bathroom-really/212437/21 "2003-11-11T18:28:33Z")
> [@](#): > > [Austin Powers voice]Who is number one??!!! Who is number one??!!![/Austin Powers voice] I think it was: Who does Number 2 work for!?!?! ---
**Author:** ![Spiff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiff/32/9852_2.png) [@Spiff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiff)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2003, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-ok-to-fart-in-the-bathroom-really/212437/22 "2003-11-11T18:58:21Z")
From the IMDB (it’s from the first AP film, BTW): [Austin Powers is drowning a man in the toilet.] Austin Powers: Who does Number Two work for? Who does Number Two work for? Cowboy: Yeah, that’s it! You show that turd who’s boss. Anyway, when I worked for a law firm, once a secretary ripped her headphones off of her head and gave a long and loud “Ewwwww!” Turns out she was transcribing a letter her laywer boss had dictated for her. When she heard the toilet flush on the tape, that’s when she ripped the headphones off of her head. ---
**Author:** ![SkipMagic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skipmagic/32/20706_2.png) [@SkipMagic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkipMagic)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2003, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-ok-to-fart-in-the-bathroom-really/212437/23 "2003-11-11T19:10:38Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by lieu \* > \*\*Ah… tongue in cheek. \*\* He was definitely feeling cheeky. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2003, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-ok-to-fart-in-the-bathroom-really/212437/24 "2003-11-11T19:29:20Z")
A friend of mine’s dad ab-so-lutely refuses to read on the toilet. No books or magazines. Nothing. Thinks its germy. He has walked into his two kids ( now in their late 30’s) sitting on the toilet (respectively) reading and _ripped_ whatever it was they were reading out of their hands and \*taken it outside to burn it. \* I wonder what he thinks about playing games on a PDA whilst pinching a log. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2003, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-ok-to-fart-in-the-bathroom-really/212437/25 "2003-11-11T19:30:29Z")
BTW, hysterical post. WWEPD. What Would Emily Post Do? ---
**Author:** ![roadrunner70](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e19b73/32.png) [@roadrunner70](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/roadrunner70)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2003, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-ok-to-fart-in-the-bathroom-really/212437/26 "2003-11-11T19:38:37Z")
You _do_ realize that you’ll never be able to re-sell that PDA. It’s been flagged. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2003, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-ok-to-fart-in-the-bathroom-really/212437/27 "2003-11-11T19:43:31Z")
**And now on to other Fart Related Hijacks** Mr. Ujest ( whom would kill me for telling this) suffers from Lactose intolerance, which means his poops after a cheesy food are …shall we say, explosive and very disgustingly stinky. ( I had 4 brothers, I know stinky bathrooms. Mr. Ujest could run them out of the john with tears in their eyes. He is a master.) Anywhooo, once while looking for my husband at his office, I noticed the place eerily vacant. No one was around. Twilight Zone music was nearly cuing up in my mind. Then I heard the Office Manager in a rant on the phone with someone. she is about 4’11" and a Force To Be Reckond With. When she is on a tear, the entire office’ anus puckers right up. You want her on your side. So, I figure every guy in the place is hiding from her until the storm blows over. Where ? The mens’ john. I peak in there and find every guy in the company standing around, leaning against a wall, sitting on the sinks. Reading newspapers. Quiet as death. “What are you guys…” “Shhhhh” says one of the higher ups. Like he has any authoritative pull to hang over my head. I figured it out quickly, " Ohhhh, you’re hiding from the OM…ahhhh…Hey (insert name here)." “Shhhhh” every guy pleaded with such a comical look that I stopped teasing them. Then I noticed my hsuband was no where to be seen. “Where’s Mr. Ujest?” PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT! My husbands mating call. Every guy winced. " That ." I said after giving my husband a hello, " would be your punishment for being so pantywaisted." Not long later every guy spilled out of the bathroom like rats deserting the ship. “How in the hell do you stand it?” One asked me. I grinned and lied, " Oh, he’s only allowed to shit at work." **I now return you to your regularly scheduled TMI thread.** ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2003, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-ok-to-fart-in-the-bathroom-really/212437/28 "2003-11-11T19:49:26Z")
**Shirley** , you just…stuck your head in the men’s room? :eek: If I’d been in there, I’d have shrieked, jumped up on a sink and generally been totally mortified. Especially if I were actually, like, peeing or something. ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2003, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-ok-to-fart-in-the-bathroom-really/212437/29 "2003-11-11T19:50:49Z")
Great story, **Shirley**! What a great thread! ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2003, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-ok-to-fart-in-the-bathroom-really/212437/30 "2003-11-11T19:59:42Z")
Thank you, thank you! And yes, I have no problems going into the men’s room. Especially since our 5 year old is now a _man_ and wants to use the mens’ room by himself. Ick and double ick. When he lingers too long my mind instantly thinks of urinal cakes and puddles on the floor and I go in, grab him, de-contaminate the youth and get out of there. ---
**Author:** ![Pedro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/919ad9/32.png) [@Pedro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pedro)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2003, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-ok-to-fart-in-the-bathroom-really/212437/31 "2003-11-11T20:02:22Z")
I would just like to say I used to read an entire newspaper in the bathroom until I learned today that it could cause hemorrhoids. Nasty, just a friendly warning. ---
**Author:** ![bump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7c8e57/32.png) [@bump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bump)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2003, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-ok-to-fart-in-the-bathroom-really/212437/32 "2003-11-11T20:07:29Z")
I usually don’t worry about it, but I will go out of my way to fart loudly whenever some dunce is in there yakking away on his cell phone. Serves 'em right, I figure. (you ought to see their faces!) ---
**Author:** ![bayonet1976](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/77aa72/32.png) [@bayonet1976](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bayonet1976)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2003, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-ok-to-fart-in-the-bathroom-really/212437/33 "2003-11-11T20:25:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Pedro \* > \*\*I would just like to say I used to read an entire newspaper in the bathroom until I learned today that it could cause hemorrhoids. Nasty, just a friendly warning. \*\* This is one of the reasons why my PDA activity in the stall is restricted to **some** versions of Solitaire, never Freecell, and never, ever Chess. I find both Freecell and Chess take too much focus away from the business at, well, not hand, but the business being transacted. Besides, my legs fall asleep after sitting on the toilet too long. ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2003, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-ok-to-fart-in-the-bathroom-really/212437/34 "2003-11-11T21:12:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by bump \* > \*\*I usually don’t worry about it, but I will go out of my way to fart loudly whenever some dunce is in there yakking away on his cell phone. > > Serves 'em right, I figure. > > (you ought to see their faces!) \*\* :eek: How, exactly, do _you_ see their faces? ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Amazing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6de8d8/32.png) [@Captain\_Amazing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Amazing)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2003, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-ok-to-fart-in-the-bathroom-really/212437/35 "2003-11-11T21:18:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Pedro \* > \*\*I would just like to say I used to read an entire newspaper in the bathroom until I learned today that it could cause hemorrhoids. Nasty, just a friendly warning. \*\* Oh, please. It may not be Cottonelle, but it’s not THAT rough. ---
**Author:** ![bump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7c8e57/32.png) [@bump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bump)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2003, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-ok-to-fart-in-the-bathroom-really/212437/36 "2003-11-11T22:46:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jayjay \* > \*\*:eek: > > How, exactly, do _you_ see their faces? \*\* It’s usually when we’re both standing at urinals whizzing away, and the other guy is usually talking loudly. So I do my best to blast one out (and nothing else!), and if I’m successful, they usually turn wide-eyed at me while they’re saying “Oh… that was nothing- I just shut the car door” or something like that. ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2003, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-ok-to-fart-in-the-bathroom-really/212437/37 "2003-11-11T23:13:36Z")
Want to know why we women are edgy all the time? Social decorum dictates we cannot emit bodily function noises in the company of others. Ever. That _includes_ the bathroom. Any accidental noise is never acknowledged by others in the bathroom and the offendor then has to wait until all parties have exited the premises before slinking out of her stall. Can you men imagine the stress of having to shit while making no noise and creating minimal stinkage? Trust me, it ain’t fun. Yes, folks, we’ve liberated ourselves from corsets but we still can’t fart in a public bathroom. Next go around I’m coming back as a man. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2003, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-ok-to-fart-in-the-bathroom-really/212437/38 "2003-11-12T00:15:19Z")
Y’know, **PunditLisa** truer words have never been spoken. My husband, a delicate, fragile knuckle dragging soul, is aghast when I let one rip anywhere but the privacy of the bathroom. 10 years of marriage and he is still offended by my walk-by toots and firm re_butt_als over something he says. Women are repressed farters. Society is to blame. I say, " Let 'er rip and relish it with glee." mustard too, if you got it. ---
**Author:** ![scout1222](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/34f0e0/32.png) [@scout1222](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scout1222)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2003, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-ok-to-fart-in-the-bathroom-really/212437/39 "2003-11-12T00:24:30Z")
Fuck, if I had to hold 'em in even in the bathroom, I’d explode. I am woman, hear me roar. And yes, I sweat, too. [sub]And I wonder why I’m single…[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![whiterabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/cab0a1/32.png) [@whiterabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whiterabbit)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2003, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-ok-to-fart-in-the-bathroom-really/212437/40 "2003-11-12T00:24:47Z")
If I am in a public bathroom obeying nature’s call and I feel a fart coming on, I fart. And I’m a woman. That’s what a bathroom is for. I really don’t understand the ones (and I know there’s some on this board!) who refuse to poop in public at all. When I have to go, I go. Unless it’s a porta-potty. I can’t stand the thought of staying in one of those for longer than it takes to pee. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-ok-to-fart-in-the-bathroom-really/212437.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-ok-to-fart-in-the-bathroom-really/212437.md?page=3)