# It's our lifestyle! (Man walks woman on leash in mall) **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 27, 2015, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-our-lifestyle-man-walks-woman-on-leash-in-mall/720979 "2015-05-27T19:59:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Sam\_Lowry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e95f7d/32.png) [@Sam\_Lowry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sam_Lowry)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2015, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-our-lifestyle-man-walks-woman-on-leash-in-mall/720979/61 "2015-05-28T16:31:21Z")
> [@monstro](#): > > I guess people may worry about what children might think. But I fail to see why “some grownups enjoy playing make-believe out in public” wouldn’t suffice as an explanation. I don’t have kids, so I’m genuinely asking, would it suffice as an explanation? I think when I was around 5 or whatever, that explanation would suffice, but after about 10 or so, I definitely would know that most adults don’t do make-believe like that in public. That people sometimes where costumes at parties or festivals, or maybe do make believe type stuff at Renaissance Fair type places, but this was different. I don’t know if I would have been able to pinpoint how it’s different, but I think I would have. > [@Tibby or Not Tibby](#): > > I’m amazed this couple’s public display of fetishism is as accepted as it is with most of you. > > I see no reasonable explanation for the couple’s statement other than they are lying: either they are doing it for the attention, or it does extend into their sex life as a sexual fetish. Like virtually all of you I have no problem with consenting adults doing anything legal behind closed doors (except watching the Kardashians on TV—that should be banned everywhere). > > In fact, if it is their lifestyle and they enjoy it, and it’s non-sexual as they claim—isn’t that even worse? If not for sexual gratification, why else would a man enjoy walking his fiancé on a leash like a dog, and her enjoying it in return? Treating women like dogs is ok in public? Is that a message anyone should have to witness? I agree, I could understand if it was a sexual thing, but I don’t understand if it’s truly non-sexual. Like is she a furry or otherkin or whatever who believes/pretends that they are a dog? I read someone commenting somewhere else that when she was a goth teenager she used to do stuff like this, someone wearing a dog collar and someone else leading them around, but it was purely done to shock the squares. Assuming that they are lying and it is a sexual thing, I’m grossed out. I’m happy for people to do whatever they want in the privacy of their homes, you do you, but I think this is not cool. I don’t think they should hide their relationship; I’ve read about some BDSM relationships where they have special collars or whatever for going out in public so that they don’t draw as much attention to themselves. Something where someone might notice and ask, but the whole crowd at the mall won’t be watching them. And there’s ways of practicing dominance and submission as well that aren’t as attention grabbing as making someone walk on a leash. They don’t need to hide in a closet or pretend they’re 100% vanilla or be ashamed or anything. But they also don’t need to draw attention to themselves and try to shock people and make people feel super uncomfortable. ---
**Author:** ![Snarky\_Kong](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a183cd/32.png) [@Snarky\_Kong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snarky_Kong)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2015, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-our-lifestyle-man-walks-woman-on-leash-in-mall/720979/62 "2015-05-28T16:32:34Z")
> [@Urbanredneck](#): > > Ok, explain yourself. > > 1. Do you think this should be accepted in public areas? > > 2. Do you think this should be added to school based sex ed programs? 1. Legally? Absofuckinglutely. 2. What do you mean? Sex education should inform people how to have safe sex and how to ensure there’s consent. I wouldn’t object at all to mentioning that different people are into different things, but I see no reason to go into specifics. Are you under the impression that’s what sex ed is? And despite what most people are claiming I don’t think there’s any reason to assume this is sexual. Just because you don’t understand doesn’t mean it’s deviant. Just because other people find a similar activity to be sexualized doesn’t make this sexual. Otherwise wearing flip flops would be a sexual act because some people have a foot fetish. ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2015, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-our-lifestyle-man-walks-woman-on-leash-in-mall/720979/63 "2015-05-28T16:41:02Z")
> [@Snarky\_Kong](#): > > Just because you don’t understand doesn’t mean it’s deviant. Yes, it is. de·vi·ant (dē′vē-ənt) adj. Differing from a norm or from the accepted standards of a society. ---
**Author:** ![Macca26](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/13edae/32.png) [@Macca26](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Macca26)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2015, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-our-lifestyle-man-walks-woman-on-leash-in-mall/720979/64 "2015-05-28T16:59:34Z")
Yeah, it could be that acting like a dog makes her feel safe in the sense that she is being taken care of by an owner, and no harm will come to her because her owner is there. It may make her worry less because hey, what is there for a dog to worry about? Owner takes care of it. Owner is great. Dog is loyal, gets head pats, life is great. Etcetera. Could be an otherkin thing too. There doesn’t need to be a sexual element at play for this to make sense. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2015, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-our-lifestyle-man-walks-woman-on-leash-in-mall/720979/65 "2015-05-28T17:24:19Z")
How about - It is absolutely weird fucking behaviour completely out of the norm given the setting and audience. It is also absolutely done for attention and possibly thrills, shits and giggles and those two weirdos absolutely knew that before they walked into the mall with that freak show. But they hurt no-one except the blue nosed busy bodies who felt it was necessary to raise a stink and grant them exactly the kind of attention they were looking to get. So everybody wins and no actual dogs were harmed in the process. Me, I wish my mall shopping experience had more of this kind of stuff to offer. I’d shop on line much less often. ---
**Author:** ![DrFidelius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drfidelius/32/3447_2.png) [@DrFidelius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFidelius)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2015, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-our-lifestyle-man-walks-woman-on-leash-in-mall/720979/66 "2015-05-28T17:39:47Z")
Sounds weird, but if weird people were prevented from doing weird things this would become a very dull world. ---
**Author:** ![Jophiel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jophiel/32/66_2.png) [@Jophiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jophiel)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2015, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-our-lifestyle-man-walks-woman-on-leash-in-mall/720979/67 "2015-05-28T17:41:05Z")
> [@Macca26](#): > > Yeah, it could be that acting like a dog makes her feel safe in the sense that she is being taken care of by an owner, and no harm will come to her because her owner is there. […] There doesn’t need to be a sexual element at play for this to make sense. Maybe she gets lost easily, like the point behind those toddler harness/leashes. ---
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2015, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-our-lifestyle-man-walks-woman-on-leash-in-mall/720979/68 "2015-05-28T17:50:04Z")
> [@QuickSilver](#): > > How about - > > It is absolutely weird fucking behaviour completely out of the norm given the setting and audience. > > It is also absolutely done for attention and possibly thrills, shits and giggles and those two weirdos absolutely knew that before they walked into the mall with that freak show. > > But they hurt no-one except the blue nosed busy bodies who felt it was necessary to raise a stink and grant them exactly the kind of attention they were looking to get. > > So everybody wins and no actual dogs were harmed in the process. > > Me, I wish my mall shopping experience had more of this kind of stuff to offer. I’d shop on line much less often. Yup, pretty well. Edit: the notion that this doesn’t have a sexual component to it (or at least, that the attention-seekers weren’t fully intending people to think it does) has gotta go into the dictionary under the definition of “naive”. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2015, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-our-lifestyle-man-walks-woman-on-leash-in-mall/720979/69 "2015-05-28T17:52:57Z")
Oh come on! She was clearly leading him on! ---
**Author:** ![Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slow_moving_vehicle/32/291_2.png) [@Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slow_Moving_Vehicle)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2015, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-our-lifestyle-man-walks-woman-on-leash-in-mall/720979/70 "2015-05-28T18:06:27Z")
> [@Wesley\_Clark](#): > > They both look way older than 21 and 30. I’m going to go out on a limb and assume drugs and alcohol are involved in their lives. > > This seems like attention seeking behavior. We all have fetishes, but we don’t advertise them at the mall. Well I don’t. Anymore. Restraining order’s still in force, eh? ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2015, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-our-lifestyle-man-walks-woman-on-leash-in-mall/720979/71 "2015-05-28T18:31:10Z")
“Girlfriends admitted, but must be on leash.” This would be a more interesting story if either of them were hot. ---
**Author:** ![Macca26](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/13edae/32.png) [@Macca26](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Macca26)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2015, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-our-lifestyle-man-walks-woman-on-leash-in-mall/720979/72 "2015-05-28T18:36:12Z")
I guess I have a different experience. In high school there was a person I knew who basically acted like a fox/wanted to be a fox. She acted like it 100% a day, all day, no matter who paid attention to her or not, no matter where she was. Everyone pretty much ignored it entirely, and she went on yipping and so on. When she wanted attention, you’d know it, because she would interrupt whatever you were doing to speak her mind or show you what she wanted to show you. She was attention-seeking in that way because she was always showing off whatever craft project she had finished, waiting for praise, but she certainly didn’t get it through the fox behavior, and the fox behavior wasn’t related to her sexuality at all (again, when she was being sexual, you knew it). I mean, maybe by doing the fox thing she got more attention from her parents behind the scenes and that was the true purpose or something, but publicly she didn’t give a shit. She just liked acting like a fox. Made her feel better or something. ---
**Author:** ![YogSothoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/8edcca/32.png) [@YogSothoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YogSothoth)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2015, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-our-lifestyle-man-walks-woman-on-leash-in-mall/720979/73 "2015-05-28T18:48:03Z")
> [@Octarine](#): > > Eh, live and let live. As long as what they’re doing doesn’t hurt anyone, I don’t get why everyone’s upset. Not saying I’d be friends with them, but these kinds of moral judgments tend to get really complicated really quickly. The problem with this kind of stuff is that its hard for me to imagine there isn’t any coercion going on. I feel the same about women claiming they freely wear burqas freely, its hard for me to take that seriously without looking at their culture and social pressure ---
**Author:** ![DrFidelius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drfidelius/32/3447_2.png) [@DrFidelius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFidelius)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2015, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-our-lifestyle-man-walks-woman-on-leash-in-mall/720979/74 "2015-05-28T18:54:28Z")
> [@YogSosoth](#): > > The problem with this kind of stuff is that its hard for me to imagine there isn’t any coercion going on. I feel the same about women claiming they freely wear burqas freely, its hard for me to take that seriously without looking at their culture and social pressure I feel that most women are coerced by culture and social pressure into keeping their breasts covered at the beach even though they claim they are freely choosing those bathing suit styles. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2015, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-our-lifestyle-man-walks-woman-on-leash-in-mall/720979/75 "2015-05-28T19:11:59Z")
> [@Macca26](#): > > She just liked acting like a fox. Made her feel better or something. And today she’s a Furry? ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2015, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-our-lifestyle-man-walks-woman-on-leash-in-mall/720979/76 "2015-05-28T19:38:25Z")
As long as he cleans up her dumps on the neighbors’ lawns, I’m ok with it, ---
**Author:** ![Macca26](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/13edae/32.png) [@Macca26](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Macca26)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2015, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-our-lifestyle-man-walks-woman-on-leash-in-mall/720979/77 "2015-05-28T20:23:13Z")
> [@Chimera](#): > > And today she’s a Furry? As far as I know, she goes by he today. But he’s a gay man. And he also likes to crossdress sometimes (i.e. a person who was born a woman, trying to look like a man wearing women’s clothes). And doesn’t really care about gender reassignment surgery. And currently has a long term relationship with another gay man born in a woman’s body who also doesn’t want to do gender reassignment surgery. (Both previously had relationships with men - since they’re gay and all). That person’s about as fluid a person I can find in all respects. It really innures you to all the wacky stuff in the world to know a person like that and realize they just don’t give a single shit about what anyone else thinks they’re doing. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2015, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-our-lifestyle-man-walks-woman-on-leash-in-mall/720979/78 "2015-05-28T20:59:45Z")
> [@faithfool](#): > > > [@QuickSilver](#): > > > > > [@Urbanredneck](#): > > > > > > Well, better do yet ANOTHER update to the sex ed materials for kids that just finally added gay and transgender information and add in BDSM. We have to or some person will call us stupid and prejudice for not accepting this. Kids need to know that 2 people who love and care for may show it by one walking the other around on a dog leash and going home and whipping each other. It’s what is now “normal”. Better show pictures of the Folsom Street Fair in San Fransisco just to make sure. > > > > Ever get tired of being a foregone conslusion? > > Considering how much a one trick ponyism he’s got going on, I think he protesteth too much. No, no , NO! Pony play is next week at a different mall. This week was \*puppy \*play. Keep your fetishes straight please. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Tibby](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tibby/32/17030_2.png) [@Tibby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tibby)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2015, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-our-lifestyle-man-walks-woman-on-leash-in-mall/720979/79 "2015-05-28T21:22:32Z")
Do you people who think BDSM and sexual fetishism in general is ok to display in public, so long as it’s legal, think there should be any boundaries at all? If so, at what point to you place the marker? If you’re walking your child through the mall, on the way to the ice cream stand and you come upon a guy sporting an erection and moaning as his latex and leather-clad girlfriend vomits on his face, what are you going to say? _“Oh, look, Billy, those two are in love!”_? ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2015, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-our-lifestyle-man-walks-woman-on-leash-in-mall/720979/80 "2015-05-28T21:44:34Z")
> [@Tibby or Not Tibby](#): > > If you’re walking your child through the mall, on the way to the ice cream stand and you come upon a guy sporting an erection and moaning as his latex and leather-clad girlfriend vomits on his face, what are you going to say? _“Oh, look, Billy, those two are in love!”_? “Some folks are really weird, Billy.” Doesn’t seem that difficult. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-our-lifestyle-man-walks-woman-on-leash-in-mall/720979.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-our-lifestyle-man-walks-woman-on-leash-in-mall/720979.md?page=5)