# It's Part of Me **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 24, 2011, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-part-of-me/586656 "2011-06-24T02:22:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2011, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-part-of-me/586656/81 "2011-06-24T20:09:08Z")
> [@pakalolo](#): > > What? That’s just being ridiculous. There is no need to be padlocked to a chair in a restaurant. However, there is a need to keep large obstructions out of the way in the aisles of a restaurant. On the other hand, if he were Stephen Hawking in a huge electric-powered wheelchair half the size of a Cadillac the restaurant would just have to endure the ass-end of the Hawkingmobile hanging out in the aisle, because you can’t discriminate in that manner against the disabled. If McGarry had stayed sitting in the wheelchair there’s not a damn thing the restaurant could say about him sitting with his backside protruding into the aisle. Yes, ordinarily the fire code trumps all, but first of all, we don’t _know_ there was a fire code violation (“fire code” has a long history of being used to bar the disabled from equal accommodation), and two, there may be some wiggle room here in regards to accommodating the disabled. Just as pets are not normally allowed in restaurants under the health code but exceptions are made for service dogs, there might be some provision for wheelchairs in restaurants to permit reasonable accommodation. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2011, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-part-of-me/586656/82 "2011-06-24T20:11:25Z")
> [@Broomstick](#): > > On the other hand, if he were Stephen Hawking in a huge electric-powered wheelchair half the size of a Cadillac the restaurant would just have to endure the ass-end of the Hawkingmobile hanging out in the aisle, because you can’t discriminate in that manner against the disabled. > > If McGarry had stayed sitting in the wheelchair there’s not a damn thing the restaurant could say about him sitting with his backside protruding into the aisle. > > Yes, ordinarily the fire code trumps all, but first of all, we don’t _know_ there was a fire code violation (“fire code” has a long history of being used to bar the disabled from equal accommodation), and two, there may be some wiggle room here in regards to accommodating the disabled. Just as pets are not normally allowed in restaurants under the health code but exceptions are made for service dogs, there might be some provision for wheelchairs in restaurants to permit reasonable accommodation. Yes, or what about a mother bringing in her child in a stroller? ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2011, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-part-of-me/586656/83 "2011-06-24T20:20:02Z")
> [@jamiemcgarry](#): > > Yes, or what about a mother bringing in her child in a stroller? She can bitch all she likes but she’s not getting a second date either. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2011, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-part-of-me/586656/84 "2011-06-24T20:25:53Z")
> [@CitizenPained](#): > > A guy who uses a wheelchair wants to remain independent. > > And you guys have a problem with this? Aw, isn’t it cute. A little straw-dude in a wheelchair! ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2011, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-part-of-me/586656/85 "2011-06-24T20:29:55Z")
> [@ReticulatingSplines](#): > > It’s HER fault that she felt embarrassed that her date was acting like an asshole? What was she supposed to do? Nod her head and throw forks at the staff? Just because one of them’s destined to eat Fromunda Cheese that day doesn’t mean they both should have to. Ahh, so you think I was acting like an asshole, do ya? 😉 That’s is simply hilarious to me. No perspective whatsoever. NONE. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2011, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-part-of-me/586656/86 "2011-06-24T20:32:03Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > 1. I’m not finding the post where he said it was a folding wheelchair. > 2. If there is such a fire code, would he consider apologizing to the management for the misunderstanding, or does he expect them to ignore the fire code to accommodate him? > > edited to add: ignore #1-just saw the answer. So if I had remained in my chair, and the same space had been occupied, would I have been considered a “fire code violation” myself???:eek: ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2011, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-part-of-me/586656/87 "2011-06-24T20:33:20Z")
> [@jamiemcgarry](#): > > Ahh, so you think I was acting like an asshole, do ya? 😉 That’s is simply hilarious to me. No perspective whatsoever. NONE. Then why did you ask, in your OP, if we thought you were being an asshole? If you were merely looking for people to join in your moral outrage, you’d probably have had better luck in the Pit. And, you know, not asking for peoples’ opinions. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2011, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-part-of-me/586656/88 "2011-06-24T20:34:00Z")
> [@Alka\_Seltzer](#): > > I vaguely suspect both parties could have been more tactful and accomodating, but it’s impossible to tell from here. Tell me how I could have been “more tactulf and accomodating” considering that I can’t have my legs taken from me while I eat at a public restaraunt? ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2011, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-part-of-me/586656/89 "2011-06-24T20:36:18Z")
> [@Hello\_Again](#): > > My analysis for what its worth: > > The restaurant was completely in the wrong, AND I have a strong feeling the OP was a complete tool about it. The date, most likely was embarassed by the antogonistic toolishness, and not the actual request to keep the wheelchair nearby. Enlighten me as to how you’ve reached your opinion as to how I was a “complete tool” about it. Re-read the OP. Read how the interaction began. Should I have behaved differently? ---
**Author:** ![Moonlitherial](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4bbf92/32.png) [@Moonlitherial](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moonlitherial)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2011, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-part-of-me/586656/90 "2011-06-24T20:39:02Z")
> [@Smeghead](#): > > Then why did you ask, in your OP, if we thought you were being an asshole? If you were merely looking for people to join in your moral outrage, you’d probably have had better luck in the Pit. And, you know, not asking for peoples’ opinions. Nah hasn’t worked for him there either. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2011, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-part-of-me/586656/91 "2011-06-24T20:43:33Z")
> [@Lasciel](#): > > Perhaps this is a large part of why he is so, erm, \*insistent \*about the subject? Let’s look at this from a worst-case scenario POV, shall we? Because often times that is the only way people can see the reasoning behind this (and other) action(s). Let’s say, just for the sake of this argument, that while I was at that table, without access to my wheelchair, the building caught fire which spread at an alarming rate. In these situations, it’s often “every man for themself”. Am I actually supposed to rely on the hostess to come back to the bar and bring my wheelchair back to the table while an out-of-control fire is threatening his/her life? I don’t know about YOU, but that is not a situation where I want to sit there and find out. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2011, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-part-of-me/586656/92 "2011-06-24T20:45:30Z")
> [@Smeghead](#): > > Then why did you ask, in your OP, if we thought you were being an asshole? If you were merely looking for people to join in your moral outrage, you’d probably have had better luck in the Pit. And, you know, not asking for peoples’ opinions. No, rather than simply NAME-CALLING, I was hoping for a little explanation as to WHY I was being an asshole. Is that too much to ask? :smack: ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2011, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-part-of-me/586656/93 "2011-06-24T20:45:41Z")
> [@jamiemcgarry](#): > > Tell me how I could have been “more tactulf and accomodating” considering that I can’t have my legs taken from me while I eat at a public restaraunt? One way is to start by using language that doesnt sound like you are assuming people are doing things to screw you. Maybe they’re ignorant, inexperienced or have just never thought about it. Using language like “taking my legs from me” can make people feel like shit, as if they’re trying to denigrate or screw you on purpose. Simply saying “I need to sit somewhere my chair can be available to me. If your restaurant does not have such seating, I’m afraid we’ll need to go.” is much less in your face. Probably less embarrassing for your date, too. Frankly, when I was dating I certainly thought about how my date handled problems and if they were polite and nice or argumentative and aggressive. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2011, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-part-of-me/586656/94 "2011-06-24T20:46:11Z")
> [@jamiemcgarry](#): > > So if I had remained in my chair, and the same space had been occupied, would I have been considered a “fire code violation” myself???:eek: What does the fire code say about the matter???:eek: Have you check it yet???:eek: ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2011, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-part-of-me/586656/95 "2011-06-24T20:50:37Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > What does the fire code say about the matter???:eek: Have you check it yet???:eek: Well I considered it BS and never bothered since it has never happened anywhere else ever. Not in crowded bars, full restaraunts, empty restaraunts, ANYWHERE ELSE EVER. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2011, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-part-of-me/586656/96 "2011-06-24T20:53:09Z")
> [@IvoryTowerDenizen](#): > > One way is to start by using language that doesnt sound like you are assuming people are doing things to screw you. Maybe they’re ignorant, inexperienced or have just never thought about it. Using language like “taking my legs from me” can make people feel like shit, as if they’re trying to denigrate or screw you on purpose. Simply saying “I need to sit somewhere my chair can be available to me. If your restaurant does not have such seating, I’m afraid we’ll need to go.” is much less in your face. Probably less embarrassing for your date, too. > > Frankly, when I was dating I certainly thought about how my date handled problems and if they were polite and nice or argumentative and aggressive. I never said “taking my legs from me” in the actual incident itself. That was just here. :smack: And that’s the thing, there would have been NOWHERE the chair could have been available to me. They wanted it out of sight, behind the bar. And PLEEEEAAAASE, go back and read the original post. I WAS polite. FEr gawwdss sake. ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2011, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-part-of-me/586656/97 "2011-06-24T20:57:17Z")
> [@jamiemcgarry](#): > > Yes, or what about a mother bringing in her child in a stroller? I have had a restaurant ask to move my kid’s stroller out of the way. Was the table you were sitting at a 4-top? If so, why not ask the waitress to move one of the unused chairs and put your wheelchair in its place? ---
**Author:** ![GrandWino](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grandwino/32/67_2.png) [@GrandWino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandWino)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2011, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-part-of-me/586656/98 "2011-06-24T20:58:19Z")
> [@jamiemcgarry](#): > > Let’s look at this from a worst-case scenario POV, shall we? Because often times that is the only way people can see the reasoning behind this (and other) action(s). Let’s say, just for the sake of this argument, that while I was at that table, without access to my wheelchair, the building caught fire which spread at an alarming rate. In these situations, it’s often “every man for themself”. Am I actually supposed to rely on the hostess to come back to the bar and bring my wheelchair back to the table while an out-of-control fire is threatening his/her life? I don’t know about YOU, but that is not a situation where I want to sit there and find out. She’d be more likely to rescue you if you weren’t such a jerk about it in the first place. I’d rather one guy who couldn’t walk died in a fire rather than have multiple people trip on your wheelchair and get stampeded as they panicked and tried to get out to safety. “BUT THE RESTAURANT WAS EMPTY!!!” you’re about to say… So answer me this, Who do you think is in the kitchen spitting in your soup? Fire codes are important. Just ask [Great White fans.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Great_White#Station_nightclub_fire) ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2011, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-part-of-me/586656/99 "2011-06-24T21:00:15Z")
> [@Bob Ducca](#): > > She’d be more likely to rescue you if you weren’t such a jerk about it in the first place. > > I’d rather one guy who couldn’t walk died in a fire rather than have multiple people trip on your wheelchair and get stampeded as they panicked and tried to get out to safety. > > “BUT THE RESTAURANT WAS EMPTY!!!” you’re about to say… So answer me this, Who do you think is in the kitchen spitting in your soup? > > Fire codes are important. Just ask [Great White fans.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Great_White#Station_nightclub_fire) The fucking restaraunt was empty. But of course, NOBODY reads anything here. Big fucking surprise. How can u say “people tripping over my chair…” The place was empty and my chair was folded up right next to my table chair. Im just not replying to a single other post in this thread. It’s closed for me. ---
**Author:** ![Normal\_Phase](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Normal\_Phase](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Normal_Phase)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2011, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-part-of-me/586656/100 "2011-06-24T21:00:43Z")
The restaurant were idiots. If they could take the wheelchair away and put it behind the counter, why couldn’t they take a chair away (at the OP’s table, or a neighboring one – he said the restaurant was empty) and put the wheelchair there? Whether or not the OP is obnoxious himself isn’t the point: the hostess and the restaurant itself should have had more respectful options available than to plop him over the head with one that does, in fact, equate to “we’re just going to tie you to this chair for a while, call if you need help”. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-part-of-me/586656.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-part-of-me/586656.md?page=6)