Gather 'round, chillun, for a story of microwave stupidity the likes of which you’ve never heard before.
See, a long long time ago, back when Granny Bean was just a sweet young thing, there were two verrryyyy tall buildings in New York City. And one bright clear September day, some terrorists flew airplanes right into those very tall buildings. And the buildings fell down. A lot of people died.
Now, a very good friend of Granny Bean’s worked in one of those very tall buildings. But she and the people she worked with were very lucky. Almost all of them got out alive. But since the buildings had fallen down, they had no place to go to work anymore.
Their company rented some space nearby so that they could go back to work, and they did. They were all a little jumpy, as I’m sure you can imagine.
Then, some other terrorists started sending out letters that contained a terrible disease called anthrax. People who opened these letters got very sick. And nobody knew who would receive the letters! And the people in that office got even more jumpy.
Then one day, a receptionist had what she thought was a very good idea, but was actually a very bad idea. She thought it would be a good idea to make sure that any of the anthrax disease that might be in the mail was dead before anyone had a chance to open it.
So she microwaved the mail.
And the microwave went BOOM!
And this office full of very jumpy people heard the big explosion and saw the hallways fill with smoke. And they were terrified. They thought that they were being attacked by terrorists again!! They ran screaming out of the building.
They were very relieved when they found out that it wasn’t a terrorist attack, but just someone who thought it would be a good idea to microwave the mail.
And so they all beat her to death with their staplers.
Okay, that last thing isn’t true, but you know they all were thinking about it…