# It's Ramadan people, stop masturbating like motherfuckers
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-ramadan-people-stop-masturbating-like-motherfuckers/375377
**Category:** The BBQ Pit
**Created:** [October 5, 2006, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-ramadan-people-stop-masturbating-like-motherfuckers/375377 "2006-10-05T13:47:04Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@tagos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tagos)
#### Post date: [October 5, 2006, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-ramadan-people-stop-masturbating-like-motherfuckers/375377/1 "2006-10-05T13:47:04Z")
[Khameini: hands outside the sheets.](http://www.ynetnews.com/articles/0,7340,L-3311189,00.html)
> [@](#):
>
> Deliberate masturbation during the month of Ramadan renders a fast invalid, Iranian Supreme Leader Sayyid Ali Khameini has ruled.
> [@](#):
>
> He is also asked whether it is permissible for a man to marry a woman only in order to be able to live in his wife’s country. “Can a man conclude a marriage contract for a year with a European girl after getting her agreement with the purpose of going to her country?” A reader asked.
>
> “There is no problem in that if they are serious in contracting marriage and it is done with her father’s permission if she is virgin,” Khameini ruled.
Yea - well good luck with that.
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### Author:  [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)
#### Post date: [October 5, 2006, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-ramadan-people-stop-masturbating-like-motherfuckers/375377/2 "2006-10-05T13:52:46Z")
So accidental masturbation is still ok right? It’s just that deliberate kind that messes you up.
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### Author:  [@tagos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tagos)
#### Post date: [October 5, 2006, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-ramadan-people-stop-masturbating-like-motherfuckers/375377/3 "2006-10-05T13:57:14Z")
> [@Cluricaun](#):
>
> So accidental masturbation is still ok right? It’s just that deliberate kind that messes you up.
I’m not sure but he [has a web site](http://www.leader.ir/langs/EN/index.php) where you can pose that very question. I’m guessing that giving blowjobs and swallowing is pretty much ruled out but while you’re there could you check it with him?
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### Author:  [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)
#### Post date: [October 5, 2006, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-ramadan-people-stop-masturbating-like-motherfuckers/375377/4 "2006-10-05T13:58:18Z")
I thought it was only a violation of fasting if you caught it in your mouth.
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### Author:  [@tagos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tagos)
#### Post date: [October 5, 2006, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-ramadan-people-stop-masturbating-like-motherfuckers/375377/5 "2006-10-05T14:02:40Z")
> [@Mangetout](#):
>
> I thought it was only a violation of fasting if you caught it in your mouth.
Yea - but what if later there was a single sperm in your mouth and you had a drink? Huh, huh? I’m pretty certain us lay people are not going to clear this up on our own.
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### Author:  [@Angua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angua)
#### Post date: [October 5, 2006, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-ramadan-people-stop-masturbating-like-motherfuckers/375377/6 "2006-10-05T14:07:54Z")
> [@Mangetout](#):
>
> I thought it was only a violation of fasting if you caught it in your mouth.
Actually, the notion of fasting extends to more than just not eating or drinking during the hours of daylight. You’re also supposed to remain “pure of spirit” during the whole month, which includes stuff like not picking fights, going out partying, and yes, masturbating. Additionally, having sex during the hours of daylight would also render your fast invalid. Basically, the entire point of Ramadan isn’t deprivation, its a time for reflection and meditation; the fast just serves to remind you of the fact that there is more to the world than the material aspect.
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### Author:  [@Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duck_Duck_Goose)
#### Post date: [October 5, 2006, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-ramadan-people-stop-masturbating-like-motherfuckers/375377/7 "2006-10-05T14:16:33Z")
You can masturbate as long as you don’t ejaculate, is how I’m reading it.
> [@](#):
>
> _If he do not intend masturbation and discharging semen and nothing is discharged, his fasting is correct even though he has done a ḥarām (forbidden) act. But, if he intends masturbation or he knows that he usually discharges semen by this process and semen really comes out, it is a ḥaram intentional breaking fasting," the Iranian leader said, posting the reply on his website._
Other stuff you’re not supposed to do during Ramadan: use your asthma inhaler. From the website:
> [@](#):
>
> \*Question: There is a medicine for asthma patients, which is in the form of a spray containing a vapor-borne powder which enters the patient’s lungs through the mouth providing him relief. At times, asthma patients need to use it several times a day. Is it permissible to fast while using such a spray?\
>
> Answer: If it is compressed air mixed with medicine in the shape of powder or gas and enters the throat, the fast’s validity is problematic. If fasting without using it is difficult or impossible, using the medicine is permissible. However, it is a caution not to perform any other invalidator and to make qaḍā’ of the fast without using it, if possible.\*
But in another Q he says:
> [@](#):
>
> \*Q: I suffer from asthma and I need to use medicine continuously especially during attack. Can I use medicine while fasting? My medicine is taken by inhaler and during dysenteric attacks I am forced to use nebulizer.
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> A: Using the inhaler does not harm the correctness of fasting unless it is associated with what could be called as eating or swallowing upon reaching throat. Anyhow, it seems that it is not associated with such things and the mere doubt is not enough to prevent it.\*
I don’t think us lay people are gonna figure this one out, either.
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### Author:  [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)
#### Post date: [October 5, 2006, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-ramadan-people-stop-masturbating-like-motherfuckers/375377/8 "2006-10-05T14:17:33Z")
> [@Mangetout](#):
>
> I thought it was only a violation of fasting if you caught it in your mouth.
Well, if you spooge into a jar, you can save it for swallowing after sunset.
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### Author:  [@tagos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tagos)
#### Post date: [October 5, 2006, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-ramadan-people-stop-masturbating-like-motherfuckers/375377/9 "2006-10-05T14:19:53Z")
> [@Cervaise](#):
>
> Well, if you spooge into a jar, you can save it for swallowing after sunset.
Yea - but that’s all very well for the giver.
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### Author:  [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)
#### Post date: [October 5, 2006, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-ramadan-people-stop-masturbating-like-motherfuckers/375377/10 "2006-10-05T14:40:33Z")
Any news on dry humping?
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### Author:  [@tagos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tagos)
#### Post date: [October 5, 2006, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-ramadan-people-stop-masturbating-like-motherfuckers/375377/11 "2006-10-05T14:45:16Z")
> [@Mangetout](#):
>
> Any news on dry humping?
Unless I’ve been completely misreading my Koran I think it’s pretty much compulsory all year. Flagellation, so long as it’s with a rod no thiccker than your thumb is okay too, so long as she’s been a really naughty, naughty girl.
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### Author:  [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)
#### Post date: [October 5, 2006, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-ramadan-people-stop-masturbating-like-motherfuckers/375377/12 "2006-10-05T14:49:35Z")
wakey wakey, hands off Ali Ackbar Muhhammed Kareem Abdul Jabaar Abdiwahad Osman Khameini.
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### Author:  [@Angua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angua)
#### Post date: [October 5, 2006, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-ramadan-people-stop-masturbating-like-motherfuckers/375377/13 "2006-10-05T14:50:41Z")
_wonders why the fuck she bothers sometimes_
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### Author:  [@Chez\_Guevara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chez_Guevara)
#### Post date: [October 5, 2006, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-ramadan-people-stop-masturbating-like-motherfuckers/375377/14 "2006-10-05T14:54:28Z")
Can you swear like that during Ramadan?
Seriously.
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### Author:  [@tagos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tagos)
#### Post date: [October 5, 2006, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-ramadan-people-stop-masturbating-like-motherfuckers/375377/15 "2006-10-05T14:56:18Z")
> [@Angua](#):
>
> _wonders why the fuck she bothers sometimes_
Ditto. I was wondering when some humourless wanker was going to come in and start bleating about ‘respect’, albeit in a subtle manner.
Newsflash - some of have no respect whatsoever for Islam, Christianity or even The Invisible Pink Unicorn yet the adherents of said stupidities have no problem whatsoever telling us what we can or cannot do with our own bodies, what we can or cannot say or draw without having to go into hiding so forgive the fuck out of us if sometimes we take the piss.
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### Author:  [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)
#### Post date: [October 5, 2006, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-ramadan-people-stop-masturbating-like-motherfuckers/375377/16 "2006-10-05T15:17:20Z")
> [@tagos](#):
>
> Ditto. I was wondering when some humourless wanker was going to come in and start bleating about ‘respect’, albeit in a subtle manner.
>
> Newsflash - some of have no respect whatsoever for Islam, Christianity or even The Invisible Pink Unicorn yet the adherents of said stupidities have no problem whatsoever telling us what we can or cannot do with our own bodies, what we can or cannot say or draw without having to go into hiding so forgive the fuck out of us if sometimes we take the piss.
Really? Khameini is ordering infidels to observe the Ramadan fast now? No wonder you’re pissed.
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### Author:  [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)
#### Post date: [October 5, 2006, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-ramadan-people-stop-masturbating-like-motherfuckers/375377/17 "2006-10-05T15:19:02Z")
Respect and humour are not mutually exclusive either.
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### Author:  [@Dead\_Badger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dead_Badger)
#### Post date: [October 5, 2006, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-ramadan-people-stop-masturbating-like-motherfuckers/375377/18 "2006-10-05T15:25:22Z")
> [@tagos](#):
>
> Ditto. I was wondering when some humourless wanker was going to come in and start bleating about ‘respect’, albeit in a subtle manner.
Oh, this was humour? Could’a fooled me; it looked like an idiot taking a cheap shot. But by all means, return to your yuks because the religious man said a naughty word. Ha ha! “Masturbation”!
No, I still don’t get it. Is it a pun or something?
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### Author:  [@tagos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tagos)
#### Post date: [October 5, 2006, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-ramadan-people-stop-masturbating-like-motherfuckers/375377/19 "2006-10-05T15:30:05Z")
> [@Dead Badger](#):
>
> Oh, this was humour? Could’a fooled me; it looked like an idiot taking a cheap shot. But by all means, return to your yuks because the religious man said a naughty word. Ha ha! “Masturbation”!
>
> No, I still don’t get it. Is it a pun or something?
If you don’t find the idea of an imaginary god worrying about when and whether you wank freakin’ hilarious why don’t you just piss off then? Participation in this thread isn’t compulsory.
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### Author:  [@Dead\_Badger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dead_Badger)
#### Post date: [October 5, 2006, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-ramadan-people-stop-masturbating-like-motherfuckers/375377/20 "2006-10-05T15:52:14Z")
> [@tagos](#):
>
> If you don’t find the idea of an imaginary god worrying about when and whether you wank freakin’ hilarious why don’t you just piss off then?
Ah, you must have only heard about religions yesterday, then. I think the problem is that the rest of us have known about them for some time. Hey, have you seen that Pope dude’s hat? _Wicked_ funny. And you know there are some rude bits in the bible? I told Johnny Scudamore about them in third period, and he laughed so hard he peed himself and got sent to the headmaster. I’ll tell you them if you lend me a Transformer for the day.
Seriously, though, it’s because you’re just trolling for reactions from perfectly respectable Muslims like **Angua** here, whom you pounced on as soon as she expressed the mildest dissent. You just want an excuse to go off on your usual rant about Islamic violence, and wife-beating (and lo and behold you did). And now you’re going to tell me how you read the Koran last year so you know better than, y’know, Muslims. You might even quote some of it to prove that’s what those dirty devils do. Oh, how we shall be chastised.
Perhaps the joke is that a boring lefty northerner actually cares what some Iranian dude says? Yeah, that is sort of amusing, I guess.
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