# It's so awful and predictable, but I keep watching it **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [May 14, 2005, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-so-awful-and-predictable-but-i-keep-watching-it/303872 "2005-05-14T22:27:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![MaxTheVool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9fc29f/32.png) [@MaxTheVool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MaxTheVool)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2005, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-so-awful-and-predictable-but-i-keep-watching-it/303872/1 "2005-05-14T22:27:01Z")
What TV shows (or movie serieses, I suppose) are actively outright BAD, particularly in a repetitive and predictable sense, but you just have to keep watching them anhow? For me, it’s definitely **Alias** , which I don’t watch live, but have watched three seasons of on DVD. Plenty of TV shows ( **24** comes to mind) dispense with continuity and believability when necessary, but **Alias** is in a class by itself. Off the top of my head (spoilers for seasons 1 through 3 ahead): -This whole Rimbaldi thing. Even if we accept as plausible the idea of a magical super-technological Leonardo Da Vinci, what were his motives in hiding all these things? How do they all still work perfectly? How were none of them destroyed? And speaking of him, I always get the feeling that half the writers on the show are embarassed by how stupid he is, so whenever THEY are writing they pretend he doesn’t exist… then the other team of writers takes back over, and presto, Rimbaldi is back -So after season 2, when Sidney has amnesia, Jack has been locked up in solitary confinement for a year as a national security risk. She comes back, blackmails her superiors into releasing him, and then he GETS HIS JOB BACK IMMEDIATELY? -Despite having the entire resources of the US government, they NEVER send enough people to get the job done. We’ve finally tracked down evil-supervillain Arvin Sloane and cornered him? Well, darn it, he walked for 5 minutes across an enormous lawn, got on a helicopter, and flew away. It’s a shame how helicopters are invulnerable and untrackable. Now we’re CERTAIN we know where evil-supervillain Mr. Sark is, so instead of sending either field agents who Sark doesn’t know personally, or better, a battalion of marines, we’ll send Sidney and Vaughan, on HORSEBACK -The secret widget is in the possession of an evil guy? Well, fortunately, he owns a sexy nightclub, and keeps the secret widget in a wall safe upstairs or downstairs from the nightclub. Or it’s in a high security facility… in the basement of the museum, which is fortunately having a fancy party And so forth. I can’t imagine that there’s ever been a TV show made which less realistically depicts the life of people in a given profession than the way **Alias** depicts the life of CIA agents. And yet I keep watching. ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2005, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-so-awful-and-predictable-but-i-keep-watching-it/303872/2 "2005-05-14T22:35:43Z")
Why does a show have to portray that “realistically”? As you indicate, it’s much more interesting to portray it dramatically. ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2005, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-so-awful-and-predictable-but-i-keep-watching-it/303872/3 "2005-05-14T22:36:05Z")
Four words: Jennifer Garner in outfits. Which doesn’t explain why _I_ keep watching it. ---
**Author:** ![MaxTheVool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9fc29f/32.png) [@MaxTheVool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MaxTheVool)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2005, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-so-awful-and-predictable-but-i-keep-watching-it/303872/4 "2005-05-14T22:44:16Z")
> [@RealityChuck](#): > > Why does a show have to portray that “realistically”? As you indicate, it’s much more interesting to portray it dramatically. Which is what **24** does. But **Alias** doesn’t. ---
**Author:** ![davenportavenger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/5f8ce5/32.png) [@davenportavenger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/davenportavenger)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2005, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-so-awful-and-predictable-but-i-keep-watching-it/303872/5 "2005-05-14T22:51:34Z")
I don’t think it’s bad, since Hugh Laurie is such a great actor, but House is certainly repetitive. Sliders fulfills all of the OP requirements yet it’s one of my favorite shows ever. Magical super-technological Leonardo Da Vinci? I think I will have to watch Alias one of these days. ---
**Author:** ![mamboman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecb155/32.png) [@mamboman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mamboman)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2005, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-so-awful-and-predictable-but-i-keep-watching-it/303872/6 "2005-05-14T23:26:45Z")
“Law & Order: Criminal Intent”. It’s just so damn silly. It wastes the female cop’s character totally. It’s an insult to the skill of Vince D’Onofrio as an actor. It’s an insult to the “Law & Order” franchise. Any other Cop in Law & Order would actually have to gather evidence and construct a case- but not Goren. He just pulls the solutions out of his arse! And what’s the cirteria for Major Case catching a case anyway? But still I watch… mm ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2005, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-so-awful-and-predictable-but-i-keep-watching-it/303872/7 "2005-05-14T23:27:34Z")
Right now it’s **Numb3rs**. But I don’t know how long I’ll hang in there. ---
**Author:** ![interface2x](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c0e974/32.png) [@interface2x](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/interface2x)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2005, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-so-awful-and-predictable-but-i-keep-watching-it/303872/8 "2005-05-15T00:58:25Z")
> [@Otto](#): > > Four words: Jennifer Garner in outfits. > > Which doesn’t explain why _I_ keep watching it. As a full blooded American male, myself, I’d like to mention that I’d rather see Jennifer Garner NOT in outfits. ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2005, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-so-awful-and-predictable-but-i-keep-watching-it/303872/9 "2005-05-15T01:08:07Z")
Pfft. Amateurs, all of you. I own all six seasons of the Highlander TV series on DVD. Top THAT! ---
**Author:** ![Barely\_Adequate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/58956e/32.png) [@Barely\_Adequate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Barely_Adequate)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2005, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-so-awful-and-predictable-but-i-keep-watching-it/303872/10 "2005-05-15T01:10:25Z")
> [@Otto](#): > > Four words: Jennifer Garner in outfits. Or _five_ words: Jennifer Gardner _almost_ in outfits. -Richard ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Borgia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_borgia/32/156_2.png) [@Larry\_Borgia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Borgia)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2005, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-so-awful-and-predictable-but-i-keep-watching-it/303872/11 "2005-05-15T02:39:04Z")
Law and Order SVU. It’s lurid, didactic, and hypocritical. (Hypocritical because it’s lurid and didactic at the same time, preaching phony morality while hooking us with graphic descriptions of the depths of human depravity.) Some of the shows have all the subtelty of the worst of the old ABC afterschool specials. Yet, if I watch an episode for five minutes, I find I watch the whole damn thing, even as I’m fuming at the TV. ---
**Author:** ![Oslo\_Ostragoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/a9a28c/32.png) [@Oslo\_Ostragoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oslo_Ostragoth)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2005, 5:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-so-awful-and-predictable-but-i-keep-watching-it/303872/12 "2005-05-15T05:45:01Z")
I’m with you on _Alias_, and am almost there on _24_. I used to watch _Alias_ whenever possible, because of JG’s incredible body. Then I realized that I had no idea what was going on because I had missed too many episodes. This year I got the chance to catch every episode, and it just felt like the show had jumped the shark. “APO”? Gimme a break. They went from a supersecret section of the CIA to an even more supersecret section? Yawn. The action is just too unbelievable - Stargate SG-1 is more realistic. I’ll just do a Google image search of JG if I feel the need. And _24_? Look out: you may be next… ---
**Author:** ![treis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bc79bd/32.png) [@treis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/treis)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2005, 5:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-so-awful-and-predictable-but-i-keep-watching-it/303872/13 "2005-05-15T05:51:04Z")
Lets see, Star Trek the Next Generation was basically one episode done 100 times. Walker Texas Ranger is the same way. The all time worse one though was Power Rangers but I was younger then. ---
**Author:** ![friedo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8edcca/32.png) [@friedo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/friedo)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2005, 6:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-so-awful-and-predictable-but-i-keep-watching-it/303872/14 "2005-05-15T06:01:15Z")
I’m a big fan of _Smallville_. Here’s the script for nearly every episode. Teaser: A high-school student suddenly displays **MAGICAL SUPER POWERS** and wreaks havoc! Totally rad Remy Zero main titles. Chloe: Hey, Clark and Lana, did you hear about that guy’s **MAGICAL SUPER POWERS**?! Lana: I’m skeptical. Here’s some coffee. Clark: I’m pretending to be skeptical. Chloe: I’d better investigate. I know, I’ll type randomly on this iMac keyboard until the information I want appears! Clark: Hmm, maybe my friend Lex can help. CUT TO: Kent Farm Pa Kent: Son, don’t trust Lex. He’s a dick. Ma Kent: Oh, Pa, stop being so controlling and go move some bales of hay from one spot to another. Pa Kent: OK. CUT TO: Lex’s Library Lionel: Say, son, aren’t you jealous of my hair? Lex: Blast you and your ulterior motives! Lionel: I’m going away in my helicopter. Clark: Say, Lex, can I borrow your ferrarri? Lex: I would, but I have ulterior motives. BTW, do you have **MAGICAL SUPER POWERS**?! Clark: Of course not. Don’t be an idiot. CUT TO: The Torch Chloe: Hey, guess, what? That kid has been grinding up those mysterious green meteor rocks and snorting them with rolled up hundred dollar bills! Lana: I have a magical ass tattoo. Chloe: Can I take a picture? Lana: Oh no, I’ve been kidnapped by the villain! CUT TO: The Villain’s Lair Clark: I will stop you, villain! Villain, Oh, no you won’t. I will punch you across the room! Clark: Oh no! A vial of kryptonite has spilled upon me! I hope the writers get me out of this jam! Clark: Ah ha, my powers are back. Die, evil villain! Lana: You’re my hero. Clark: I know, bitch. Now shutup and give me a blowjob. CUT TO: The Torch Chloe: Hey, Clark, did you hear that somebody blew Lana’s brains out? Clark: Yeah, I told her not to try to swallow. End Credits ---
**Author:** ![pasunejen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/58956e/32.png) [@pasunejen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pasunejen)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2005, 6:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-so-awful-and-predictable-but-i-keep-watching-it/303872/15 "2005-05-15T06:02:23Z")
Well, it’s not really current, but I’ve been watching Nip/Tuck in three-hour blocks on Saturday nights (I know, I know, no life), and the degree to which it’s devolved into a soap opera… Oh my god our son is screwing his life coach! And our son isn’t actually our son but my son with your business partner! And oh my god the life coach is a transsexual! Who fucked her adopted son, only he didn’t know he was adopted at the time! And that ain’t anywhere near the half of it. Still, though, I’m so pissed that FX didn’t show it tonight… ---
**Author:** ![friedo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8edcca/32.png) [@friedo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/friedo)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2005, 10:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-so-awful-and-predictable-but-i-keep-watching-it/303872/16 "2005-05-15T10:41:18Z")
What’s a life coach? Some guy in a track suit who claps his hands and says “good hustle” when you remember to breathe? ---
**Author:** ![Snooooopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2005, 11:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-so-awful-and-predictable-but-i-keep-watching-it/303872/17 "2005-05-15T11:07:15Z")
> [@friedo](#): > > What’s a life coach? Some guy in a track suit who claps his hands and says “good hustle” when you remember to breathe? A life coach basically gives you tips on how to succeed in love, career, health, etc. Often these tips are delivered via expensive books, audio cassettes or seminars. Tony Robbins, of late-night infomercial fame, is one of the more well-known life coaches. ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2005, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-so-awful-and-predictable-but-i-keep-watching-it/303872/18 "2005-05-15T14:54:34Z")
I have, by great strength of will, managed not to buy any more **Queer as Folks** because ultimately it’s bad for my blood pressure and my knicknacks. ---
**Author:** ![ParentalAdvisory](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/53a042/32.png) [@ParentalAdvisory](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ParentalAdvisory)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2005, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-so-awful-and-predictable-but-i-keep-watching-it/303872/19 "2005-05-15T22:16:21Z")
Excellent rendition, **friedo**! It’s so true, but I too continue to watch _Smallville_. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Rieux](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/aeb1de/32.png) [@Dr.Rieux](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Rieux)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2005, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-so-awful-and-predictable-but-i-keep-watching-it/303872/20 "2005-05-15T22:39:27Z")
**CSI: Miami**. 90% of the time, I can predict Horatio’s next line before he opens his mouth. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-so-awful-and-predictable-but-i-keep-watching-it/303872.md?page=2)