I’m sorry about the terrible news Otto. I had to watch my fiance go through the same thing as you, after the doctors told his dad he only had 12 months left. He died a few days before my fiance’s 20th birthday.
A hard blow, Otto, indeed. I lost my Pop a couple of years ago to pancreatitis. He was gone within a month of his check-in to hospital, and I never had a chance to see him before the end, as I had just moved to Florida. Thank God, I talked to him a couple of days before his last, and we said “I love you” to each other. Ultimately, it was a fluid-filled cyst around his heart that killed him. Mom called to say I better come up, that he wasn’t doing too well; two hours later, she called to say that it wasn’t necessary for me to rush, he was gone.
Spend time with your family, let them all know you love them. Loss you can get over, although it seems impossible at first.
Regret sticks with you throughout your life.
My dad was a bad diabetic. If you have it, you know what that means. He lost a leg, his vison was poor, and he ignored his diet.
About 13-14 years ago, when he was 61, he had a series of mini-strokes. They affected his speech, but little else. At the time, the doctor told him that because of his general state of health, and frolm what they could see in the brain scans, that there was no telling when, but almost for sure they’d telling him how he would die.
He was told that likely he would die of either a series of strokes, or one catastrophic event.
Yeah, that sword over your head? It’s going to fall, just sit there and wait for it, ok?
Almost thankfully for all of us, when it happened, it was a sudden, major event that put him into a coma for three days before we disconnected his ventilator and let him go.
It sucks, I can truthfully tell you it’s the worst thing in the world. All my prayers today will be for you and your family.
Otto, my dad died of cancer in 1985, and one thing I learned from that experience was that all the words of comfort that come your way are helpful… and yet all of them don’t do a thing to erase what you feel. I wish I could have emerged from that with some sort of magic formula that eased sorrow and brought comfort… I can only say that such a formula still eludes me, but I also learned that we can handle more than we think we can.
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
Do something -memorable- or significant with him now, if he is up to it. Doesn’t have to be splashy, just something you’ll keep with you.
Hey, with treatments getting better all the time, he could be around for awhile.
But with my dad, his electrolytes and what-not got all messed up when he had pancreatic cancer. He was confused and “out of it” for the better part of his last month or so. Remember him for something else.
I’m so sorry, Otto.
Otto, I’m so sorry too. When I was in highschool one of our more beloved administrators was diagnosed with PC as well. He left to spend time with his family and persue treatment. It was a sad day. Then, a year later when he came back to school right as rain, it was a very happy day. Don’t give up hope, it can be beaten!
The Lissar household is sending thoughts and prayers. Take care of your Mum and yourself.
Hang in there Otto.
The deaths of people close to me have all been sudden and out of the blue. So I don’t really know what you are feeling. But I’m sure you have the inner stregnth to make it through this.
Steve
UPDATE:
The biopsy was done today. The results will take 1-5 days but the doctors are already pretty well convinced it’s cancer. One tiny feeble ray of hope is that it may not be in the pancreas proper. It may be in the ducts. If it’s in the ducts there are more treatment options available. They can’t tell from radiology so apparently the cells taken in the biopsy can be used to pinpoint the location.
Dad is heavily medicated and apparently has had some hallucinations, which are always fun in my experience. Mom is starting to get pissed because she’s not yet had the chance to meet with my dad’s primary care provider to get more information, because he does his rounds at some ungodly hour of the morning. Also they’re having difficulty getting a straight answer as to whether he can be discharged before the jaundice (from the back up of pancreatic secretions) is completely cleared up. The family dog has been moping and whining for days since Dad went into the hospital so Mom finally had to shuttle it off to a friend because she couldn’t stand it any longer.
So we may know more as soon as tomorrow, or it might not be until next week.
Similar story here. My dad waited and suffered terrible pain for months because his 2nd wife didn’t believe in going to the doctor for any reason. If he had been stronger, they could have treated him with some chemo.
otto, blessings to you and your family. You have some good medical facilities there in Madison area, be sure to get all the info you need and another opinion if needed.
Otto, don’t hold back in telling your dad you love him. Even years later, you’ll feel better about that. And, if he beats the cancer, you’ll be closer.
Every member of your family needs support now. The way for you to get the support you need is to support them. If that doesn’t make sense, don’t worry. Nothing makes sense at this time.
We’ll be here for you, too.
My parents live in Des Moines IA.
Otto, don’t know if you find this helpful, but here’s a thread from a few years ago about pancreatic cancer.
Thinking of you.
UPDATE:
Dad’s out of the hospital and back home. The tumor is malignent and they are still not sure exactly where it’s located, in the pancreas or not. Either way, it’s currently inoperable because it’s grown around an artery. The current plan is for a course of radiation, chemo or both until sometime in September, then if the tumor shrinks sufficiently they’ll operate. Meanwhile the stent is still in. Apparently he’s still yellow so there’s more fluids to be drained.
Oh, as for prognosis, if the tumor responds and the surgery is successful, he has a 25% chance to survive another 5 years.
I’ve been avoiding this thread, and haven’t read it.
My dad was in a car wreck that damaged his brain. Took away a lot of his judgement and memories. Three years later, at 70, he was riding JetSkis on the Colorado River. He wrecked and broke his leg. He was on anti-seizure medication for the brain injury, a diuretic for his COPD, and who-knows-what-else. The medication given him for the broken leg overwhelmed his system and he died a month after his 71st birthday of acute pancreatitis.
I lived in dread of The Midnight Call. It was a very tough time. Still is, sometimes.
Hopefully your dad has some good medical services there in Des Moines. Ah yes, yellow, I remember that very well, along with abdominal swelling. I hope the stent
will give him some relief from pain. Keep us posted, my thoughts are with you and your family.
My Dad has been taken by ambulance 3 times for his heart, & once by me.
My Mom has been Life Flight heli-lifted once, for her heart.
Every single time, I thought it was the last.
But they recovered.
Otto, don’t give up hope.
Otto, a 25% chance of five more years isn’t small potatoes! Best wishes to you and your family.