# It's the size that counts -when it cums to condoms
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-the-size-that-counts-when-it-cums-to-condoms/699020
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [September 20, 2014, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-the-size-that-counts-when-it-cums-to-condoms/699020 "2014-09-20T15:57:43Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@aceplace57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aceplace57)
#### Post date: [September 20, 2014, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-the-size-that-counts-when-it-cums-to-condoms/699020/1 "2014-09-20T15:57:43Z")
Me thinks there’s some bragging in this story. 😃
> **[VIDEO: Ugandans call on government to provide bigger condoms](https://www.nydailynews.com/2014/09/20/video-ugandans-call-on-government-to-provide-bigger-condoms/)**
>
> It’s the size that counts, at least when it comes to condoms in Uganda. Men there have complained to their government that the prophylactics are too small and have called on the state to prov…
> [@](#):
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> “Some youth are complaining that the condoms they are being given, some of them are too short, their organs can’t fit in them,” politician Merard Bitekyerezo told NTV Uganda News.
>
> Another lawmaker, Tom Aza, told the station: “When it comes to action, when they’re having sexual activity, of course with the pressure, it bursts.”
>
> He added that some men “have bigger sexual organs and therefore should be considered for bigger condoms.”
> [@](#):
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> Condoms internationally can range between seven inches to eight-and-a-half inches long, though some are manufactured larger than that.
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### Author:  [@grude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/grude)
#### Post date: [September 20, 2014, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-the-size-that-counts-when-it-cums-to-condoms/699020/2 "2014-09-20T19:27:46Z")
Take a condom and fill it with water til it bursts, then you’ll know how big an organ they could hold. It is a silly complaint.
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### Author:  [@Sarabellum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sarabellum)
#### Post date: [September 20, 2014, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-the-size-that-counts-when-it-cums-to-condoms/699020/3 "2014-09-20T19:42:10Z")
> [@grude](#):
>
> Take a condom and fill it with water til it bursts, then you’ll know how big an organ they could hold. It is a silly complaint.
Quoted for truth. I’ll never forget the spectacle of watching my high school biology teacher demonstrate, with both hands and arms inside a condom, complete with inch-long sculptured nails, expanding it so large that it would have accommodated a good size watermelon. She said, "Girls, a boy might say any ridiculous thing to avoid wearing one of these. He’s too big for one? Uh-huh. " Everyone laughed.
But she got her point across!
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### Author:  [@Sahirrnee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sahirrnee)
#### Post date: [September 20, 2014, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-the-size-that-counts-when-it-cums-to-condoms/699020/4 "2014-09-20T19:42:22Z")
In my experience
they don’t burst.
They roll up, come off, and are extremely difficult to extract.
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### Author:  [@Amateur\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amateur_Barbarian)
#### Post date: [September 20, 2014, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-the-size-that-counts-when-it-cums-to-condoms/699020/5 "2014-09-20T20:13:05Z")
> [@Sahirrnee](#):
>
> In my experience
> they don’t burst.
> They roll up, come off, and are extremely difficult to extract.
This. It’s not some ridiculous thing about not being able to get one on - John Holmes could put on the smallest Japanese-market brand available - but about the comfort and fit level of having just the right amount of stretch and cling.
Three or four standard diameters, in a close range, would be nice to have without marketing hype or nonsense.
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### Author:  [@zoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zoid)
#### Post date: [September 20, 2014, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-the-size-that-counts-when-it-cums-to-condoms/699020/6 "2014-09-20T20:23:32Z")
I’ve never seen one that was too short, but there are definitely some that are too narrow. Not like too narrow to get on or anything but uncomfortable to use.
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### Author:  [@Amateur\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amateur_Barbarian)
#### Post date: [September 20, 2014, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-the-size-that-counts-when-it-cums-to-condoms/699020/7 "2014-09-20T21:24:07Z")
> [@zoid](#):
>
> I’ve never seen one that was too short, but there are definitely some that are too narrow. Not like too narrow to get on or anything but uncomfortable to use.
That’s what I meant. I’ve put on some that basically were hardon-killers. Maybe if you’re nineteen and can whip up a steelie with a random thought it’s okay, but for anyone more relaxed or taking their time, the continuous pressure is going to force some unwanted backflow and hydraulic failure.
Snug is one thing. Vice grip (see what I did there?) is another thing.
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### Author:  [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)
#### Post date: [September 20, 2014, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-the-size-that-counts-when-it-cums-to-condoms/699020/8 "2014-09-20T21:45:38Z")
I’ve broken a number of condoms. Not due to size, but some brands are just crap.
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### Author:  [@thelurkinghorror](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thelurkinghorror)
#### Post date: [September 20, 2014, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-the-size-that-counts-when-it-cums-to-condoms/699020/9 "2014-09-20T21:56:46Z")
Wow, isn’t that convenient? “Excuse me, I would like to slip past you in this wide hallway, but my dick is too big to let me pass.” “Excuse me, what weight do the crotch of these jeans support? I have a very large penis, you know.” Or [since it’s Uganda](http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/eat-da-poo-poo), “I’d like these large condoms. For having sex. With a woman. Not a man. That would be sinful. Say do you know of any bathhouses in the area?”
Now I picture someone opening a box of regular condoms in store and putting them in the magnum box, even though it costs more, just to impress that cashier. Reverse shoplifting? I like [this scene](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wZKORiCefmk) (context: he’s a German guy who just got put into a new body).
Some condoms might be a little tight. I think actual breakage (and not slippage etc. from misuse) is a pretty rare occurrence.
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### Author:  [@zoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zoid)
#### Post date: [September 20, 2014, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-the-size-that-counts-when-it-cums-to-condoms/699020/10 "2014-09-20T22:10:55Z")
> [@Antinor01](#):
>
> I’ve broken a number of condoms. Not due to size, but some brands are just crap.
> [@thelurkinghorror](#):
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> Some condoms might be a little tight. I think actual breakage (and not slippage etc. from misuse) is a pretty rare occurrence.
I agree with **Antinor01** , some are just not made well.
Oddly enough the way I remember it pretty much any brand name condom you actually pay money for will be pretty good. The ones that fail are the ones that get handed out by health services college campuses, which is a damn shame because that’s one of the places they’re needed most.
Things may have changed substantially in the 20 or so years since I was on a college campus but back in my day those things were an unwanted pregnancy or VD just waiting to happen. The girls I knew wouldn’t sleep with a guy unless he had something better than those you got free from the clinic and that was a wise decision.
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### Author:  [@bienville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bienville)
#### Post date: [September 20, 2014, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-the-size-that-counts-when-it-cums-to-condoms/699020/11 "2014-09-20T22:31:39Z")
> [@Sahirrnee](#):
>
> They roll up, come off, and are extremely difficult to extract.
Ah, yes. As granddad used to say:
Spunking after spelunking, just deserts.
Spelunking after spunking, jizz disperse.
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### Author:  [@SandyHook](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SandyHook)
#### Post date: [September 20, 2014, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-the-size-that-counts-when-it-cums-to-condoms/699020/12 "2014-09-20T23:16:26Z")
I have a video, sorry don’t know how to share it, of guy putting a condom on his head. He got it down over his nose and started blowing it up. The condom ended up maybe a foot in diameter and three feet long before it was popped by a pin.
That should do for all but a very small number of men.
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### Author:  [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)
#### Post date: [September 20, 2014, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-the-size-that-counts-when-it-cums-to-condoms/699020/13 "2014-09-20T23:49:42Z")
I’ve also seen boys have trouble when they think the condom is supposed to cover the scrotum (which, it’s not, but why don’t they make scrotal covering condoms? Be better disease protection, if fugly as hell.) Better education may be needed.
Or, most likely, they’re at the evolution of condom use in a society just after “Ooh, you mean if I use this little rubber thingy, I won’t die from the prostitute?” and before, widespread use. I think it’s called: “_Meh, my girl wants me to wear a rubber. Bleh._ I just can’t, babe, and if you really loved me, you’d understand…” Any excuse will do.
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### Author:  [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)
#### Post date: [September 21, 2014, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-the-size-that-counts-when-it-cums-to-condoms/699020/14 "2014-09-21T00:44:16Z")
> [@grude](#):
>
> Take a condom and fill it with water til it bursts, then you’ll know how big an organ they could hold. It is a silly complaint.
I strenuously object. It ain’t true that the expanded condom shows how big an organ it can contain. The complaint is by no means silly.
The first time I tried a condom (alone, I hasten to point out – it was a test drive) – it FREAKIN’ HURT!
No, considering the circumstances, it FUCKING hurt!
It certainly fit, but when the Moment of Truth came the condom would not expand to allow the passage of ejaculate. It had nowhere to go but back. I don’t recommend this.
I am not exceptionally long, but I think I am larger in girth than average. The condom could theoretically expand to allow passage, but presumably my relevant muscles are not up to the task.
I was relieved when I discovered that there are larger-than-average condoms out there – MAXX and MAGNUM. Again, it’s not the extra length that I need, it’s the extra width. And these devices have definitely made a difference.
The next time somebody says that condoms are made of rubber and stretch, tell them to wind a rubber band around their finger until the blood supply is cut off. Then remind them that it’s rubber, and it stretches! Surely they can’t be complaining about it being too small!
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### Author:  [@Sarabellum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sarabellum)
#### Post date: [September 21, 2014, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-the-size-that-counts-when-it-cums-to-condoms/699020/15 "2014-09-21T01:27:33Z")
You guys never learned that you’re supposed to pinch it to leave a little “breathing room” at the tip when you’re rolling it on?
I guess I’m more of the mind that they’re complaining about the “size” issue when the actual issue is that they don’t LIKE condoms, bareback feels better, but it’s not politically correct to say THAT, so they make up another excuse to latch on to, instead.
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### Author:  [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)
#### Post date: [September 21, 2014, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-the-size-that-counts-when-it-cums-to-condoms/699020/16 "2014-09-21T01:43:42Z")
> [@Sarabellum1976](#):
>
> You guys never learned that you’re supposed to pinch it to leave a little “breathing room” at the tip when you’re rolling it on?
That tip comes pre-made on all the condoms I’ve ever used.
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### Author:  [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)
#### Post date: [September 21, 2014, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-the-size-that-counts-when-it-cums-to-condoms/699020/17 "2014-09-21T02:20:33Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#):
>
> That tip comes pre-made on all the condoms I’ve ever used.
They didn’t used to, young 'un. But yes, I haven’t seen a condom without a reservoir tip in years. Still need to be sensible when you put it on - it’s possible, although not advisable, to stretch the reservoir tip enough to be snug to the glans. More prone to breakage, and ow.
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### Author:  [@thelurkinghorror](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thelurkinghorror)
#### Post date: [September 21, 2014, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-the-size-that-counts-when-it-cums-to-condoms/699020/18 "2014-09-21T03:32:17Z")
> [@zoid](#):
>
> Oddly enough the way I remember it pretty much any brand name condom you actually pay money for will be pretty good. The ones that fail are the ones that get handed out by health services college campuses, which is a damn shame because that’s one of the places they’re needed most.
We had just the standard lubricated (teal label?) Trojans in the basket in the waiting room. Not Spartans or Thespians or whatever knockoff brand. None of the stupid banana flavor or whatever that bulk packs force on you.
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### Author:  [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)
#### Post date: [September 21, 2014, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-the-size-that-counts-when-it-cums-to-condoms/699020/19 "2014-09-21T03:42:18Z")
**Old Cold War Joke:** The Russians wanted to psych out the Americans into thinking the Russians were some kind of Super-Men, so they placed an order with the Trojan condom company for a special run. 17 million rubbers! They insisted the condoms needed to be 18" long and 6" in diameter.
Ole Ronnie got wind of this, and told Trojan to go ahead with the order. The only change? Each one was labeled “Size Medium”!
😃
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### Author:  [@corkboard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/corkboard)
#### Post date: [September 22, 2014, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-the-size-that-counts-when-it-cums-to-condoms/699020/20 "2014-09-22T21:39:37Z")
In my experience (fortunately no more recent than 13 years ago- thanks, vasectomy doctor!), Trojans were uncomfortably tight- girth, not length. I was a Durex man.
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