# Its the thought that doesn't count **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 3, 2015, 9:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-the-thought-that-doesnt-count/729799 "2015-09-03T09:15:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![AnaMen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/dfb087/32.png) [@AnaMen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AnaMen)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2015, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-the-thought-that-doesnt-count/729799/21 "2015-09-03T16:07:17Z")
> [@WOOKINPANUB](#): > > I’m not familiar with the tadpole incident - did someone mention she’d \*poisoned \*them? - nor do I know if \*\*grude \*\*has a history of passive/agressiveness or buying gifts with a hidden agenda. The account in the OP reads to me like he remembered a fond memory (actually a \*pond \*memory)his wife mentioned and wanted to surprise her with a small gift. The first words out of her mouth were “what did you buy that for?”. Now, I wasn’t there. Maybe she was laughing while she said it and a playful, “aw, ya big goofball” smile was on her face, but all I can go by is what was written and it that’s about as rude a response to a gift as I can think of. Then she’s on about" of all the things she shares and that’s what he remembers" which now, it’s not really even about the damned turtle anymore. > With none of us having been there its all speculation anyway, but clearly we’re interpreting the situation differently. Either way, **grude** , please return the poor thing before it’s too late. Eh, sounds more like he was in the pet store, noted the turtles, wanted to get one, thought his wife might object, THEN remembered she’d once expressed a childhood fondness for them, so decided to get one for her, reasoning that it was a present AND proved that he’d heard something she said once, so she’d surely go along with it. Grude has a history of being awesome, but also of being surprised by his wife actually meaning stuff she says. The Tadpole Incident: [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=730843&highlight=Tadpoles&page=3](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=730843&highlight=Tadpoles&page=3) ---
**Author:** ![WOOKINPANUB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wookinpanub/32/132_2.png) [@WOOKINPANUB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WOOKINPANUB)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2015, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-the-thought-that-doesnt-count/729799/22 "2015-09-03T16:43:27Z")
> [@elbows](#): > > From the Op, > > “…she was like…” > > Vs > > “… First words out of her mouth WERE…” > Hmmm, I think I understand the confusion! Sorry, I’m not sure what you’re getting at. I took “she was like” to mean what followed was literally what she said, which, I stand by that being incredibly rude. If you mean that I extrapolated a harsher response than was actually given, then you may be correct. Again, I was just going by how I understood what he’d written. After reading the link to to the tadpole thread (thanks **AnaMen** ) I think this is very much not about whether or not her response is appropriate because she is clearly bat shit insane. Sorry to insult your Mrs., **grude** , but you have not painted a nice picture of her at all. ---
**Author:** ![Soylent\_Juicy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@Soylent\_Juicy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soylent_Juicy)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2015, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-the-thought-that-doesnt-count/729799/23 "2015-09-03T16:45:42Z")
For the love of God take that poor turtle back to the pet store. Any decent pet store will accept it back. You might not get a refund, but at least the turtle has a chance at getting a good home. Red Eared Sliders get BIG and are messy. I don’t know why pet stores continue to sell them. Unless you have a large heated pond or aquarium and plan to commit a number of years to it, Red Eared Sliders are basically issued a death sentence in pet stores. Take it back before it dies of neglect (or god fordid, the same fate as those tadpoles) and NEVER, EVER purchase a live animal without fully researching its care and without full consent and commitment from every member in your household. What the hell were you thinking. ---
**Author:** ![Honey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honey/32/5074_2.png) [@Honey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Honey)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2015, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-the-thought-that-doesnt-count/729799/24 "2015-09-03T17:09:07Z")
For what it’s worth, I would have been thrilled by the gift, and touched that you remembered. 🙂 In this case, I agree that you should take it back so it can have a better life. ---
**Author:** ![Telperion](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telperion/32/509_2.png) [@Telperion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperion)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2015, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-the-thought-that-doesnt-count/729799/25 "2015-09-03T18:54:58Z")
> [@WOOKINPANUB](#): > > After reading the link to to the tadpole thread (thanks **AnaMen** ) I think this is very much not about whether or not her response is appropriate because she is clearly bat shit insane. Sorry to insult your Mrs., **grude** , but you have not painted a nice picture of her at all. Have you _ever_ seen grude say a single nice thing about another human being? Because I honestly don’t believe that I have. More than plenty of the opposite however, which makes me think that his accounts of these interactions probably are quite far from unbiased. ---
**Author:** ![AnaMen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/dfb087/32.png) [@AnaMen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AnaMen)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2015, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-the-thought-that-doesnt-count/729799/26 "2015-09-03T19:06:04Z")
> [@Telperion](#): > > Have you _ever_ seen grude say a single nice thing about another human being? Because I honestly don’t believe that I have. More than plenty of the opposite however, which makes me think that his accounts of these interactions probably are quite far from unbiased. He says nice things about his wife right in the tadpole thread. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2015, 12:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-the-thought-that-doesnt-count/729799/27 "2015-09-04T12:43:44Z")
I feel bad for the OP, but when it comes to his particular wife he has to learn: No amphibians, No reptiles. ---
**Author:** ![6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/6/e19adc/32.png) [@6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2015, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-the-thought-that-doesnt-count/729799/28 "2015-09-04T14:02:15Z")
I feel bad for the turtle, **Count Blucher**. It feels a bit like a badly homed foster kid. Please take the poor little thing back, **grude**. Before it has to go on meds. ---
**Author:** ![grude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47774/32.png) [@grude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/grude)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2015, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-the-thought-that-doesnt-count/729799/29 "2015-09-04T17:03:17Z")
Guys…its a turtle, not a human baby. It can well survive a couple hours without a feeding. There is about as much responsibility as a houseplant. It just wants to hide under some roots in the tank 24/7 and wait for some food to come by. And my wife wasn’t so much pissed off as just non-interested, when I thought she’d be into it. Trust me if she is actually pissed there is no ambiguity, this wasn’t even annoyed just like I’m not into that anymore. The indoor pond was actually that thing they had in ancient Roman houses where there is a sort of open spot in the roof in the middle of the house, and there are plants and raised water gardens there, not sure what the name is that she wanted to have as a kid. Its hilarious watching our kid want to touch the shell but he is afraid, why no clue it doesn’t bite. Anyway I just found it funny how something I thought through memory would be received well got a meh, thought others might have funny stories. My wife actually brought a second batch of tadpoles into the house and was more into it than me, actually watching them when they transform cuz it happens quick. We’re both just really weird and you can’t trust what she says, it is usually not the truth. I’m pretty straightforward. ---
**Author:** ![Honey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honey/32/5074_2.png) [@Honey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Honey)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2015, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-the-thought-that-doesnt-count/729799/30 "2015-09-04T19:11:00Z")
I know it can go a couple of hours without eating, but after reading some of your threads here, I’m just worried you’re goin to eat _it_. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![grude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47774/32.png) [@grude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/grude)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2015, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-the-thought-that-doesnt-count/729799/31 "2015-09-04T20:20:16Z")
> [@Honey](#): > > I know it can go a couple of hours without eating, but after reading some of your threads here, I’m just worried you’re goin to eat _it_. 😉 I’ve had snapping turtle meat in a stew at a restaurant, but no one likes those ornery bastards lol. It did not taste like chicken btw, gamey tasting and closer to cheap beef. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2015, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-the-thought-that-doesnt-count/729799/32 "2015-09-16T02:17:32Z")
> [@Soylent\_Juicy](#): > > For the love of God take that poor turtle back to the pet store. Any decent pet store will accept it back. You might not get a refund, but at least the turtle has a chance at getting a good home. > > Red Eared Sliders get BIG and are messy. I don’t know why pet stores continue to sell them. Unless you have a large heated pond or aquarium and plan to commit a number of years to it, Red Eared Sliders are basically issued a death sentence in pet stores. Perhaps a wildlife sanctuary would be better, then? ---
**Author:** ![grude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47774/32.png) [@grude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/grude)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2015, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-the-thought-that-doesnt-count/729799/33 "2015-09-16T14:41:22Z")
Update: Caught her playing with the turtle with our kid, called it! 😛 Can’t take anything she says at face value because she is obsessed with appearing mature and non-childish, can’t look foolish. ---
**Author:** ![seal\_cleaner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e274bd/32.png) [@seal\_cleaner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/seal_cleaner)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2015, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-the-thought-that-doesnt-count/729799/34 "2015-09-16T23:10:57Z")
My wife asked for help painting the house, so I bought her a paint spraying rig for her birthday. She gave it to our son-in-law and had siding installed instead. One year I gave her a nail gun. I assumed she wanted one. Once again, son-in-law profits. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2015, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-the-thought-that-doesnt-count/729799/35 "2015-09-17T04:56:50Z")
I just love that everyone was gearing up for a pile on, and **grude** shut that down. If you’re going to call the guy an asshole (never says anything nice about anyone) and insinuate that he’s a liar, why not take it to the Pit? ---
**Author:** ![brovolone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a88e4f/32.png) [@brovolone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brovolone)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2015, 6:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-the-thought-that-doesnt-count/729799/36 "2015-09-17T06:44:29Z")
Surprise her with more [turtles](http://www.walgreens.com/store/c/turtles-original-lay-down-box/ID=prod6092287-product)? ---
**Author:** ![Sangahyando](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f14d63/32.png) [@Sangahyando](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sangahyando)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2015, 10:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-the-thought-that-doesnt-count/729799/37 "2015-09-17T10:55:22Z")
> [@grude](#): > > My wife actually brought a second batch of tadpoles into the house and was more into it than me, actually watching them when they transform cuz it happens quick. **We’re both just really weird** and you can’t trust what she says, it is usually not the truth. I’m pretty straightforward. From your posts over the past few years, the above (my bolding) seems to apply to pretty well everyone in Trinidad, where you live. Going by your accounts – I’m not sure whether I want to visit the island, or to give it a very wide berth… ---
**Author:** ![WOOKINPANUB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wookinpanub/32/132_2.png) [@WOOKINPANUB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WOOKINPANUB)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2015, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-the-thought-that-doesnt-count/729799/38 "2015-09-17T14:26:18Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > I just love that everyone was gearing up for a pile on, and **grude** shut that down. > > If you’re going to call the guy an asshole (never says anything nice about anyone) and insinuate that he’s a liar, why not take it to the Pit? I didn’t get that at all. If anything, some of us were tempted to pile on his wife - hell, I know I restrained _myself_ as best I could - but I don’t see any real hostility toward **grude**. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2015, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-the-thought-that-doesnt-count/729799/39 "2015-09-21T03:53:39Z")
Just make sure, if you do keep the turtle, that you know how to take care of it, since they seem to be complicated creatures (red-sliders, it seems) ---
**Author:** ![araminty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b5e925/32.png) [@araminty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/araminty)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2015, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-the-thought-that-doesnt-count/729799/40 "2015-09-21T16:08:14Z")
Red-eared sliders are a damaging introduced species in many wetland habitats around the world - precisely because they’re often sold as pets, and ignorant owners who get tired of caring for them dump them in the closest water, where they outcompete the local freshwater chelids. They’re also a delicacy in Asian cuisines, so are intensively bred for sale to these markets. Please, anyone reading, don’t dump unwanted pets! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-the-thought-that-doesnt-count/729799.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-the-thought-that-doesnt-count/729799.md?page=3)