# It's Time For A Serious Talk About Clowning Around **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 11, 2005, 5:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-time-for-a-serious-talk-about-clowning-around/303359 "2005-05-11T05:32:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2005, 5:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-time-for-a-serious-talk-about-clowning-around/303359/1 "2005-05-11T05:32:03Z")
There comes a time in a man’s life when he ponders a career as a birthday party clown. For me, that time is now. I turn to you for advice. Do we have any clowns or ex-clowns amongst us? Parents, just what do you look for in a clown? I have no car, no license, and no insurance. But, considering that my apartment is conveniently located near a train stop and two bus routes, I can work around that limitation. I cannot juggle. Realistically, I don’t know that I’ll ever be able to juggle. I’m rather clumsy and uncoordinated. I think I can craft an act out of those skills I do have, but I’m not sure what shape it will take. I am not kidding. I am seriously considering a career in greasepaint and need advice. ---
**Author:** ![Scissorjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2005, 10:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-time-for-a-serious-talk-about-clowning-around/303359/2 "2005-05-11T10:25:50Z")
I don’t think any of us were expecting that. ---
**Author:** ![Capt.Ridley\_s\_Shooting\_Party](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/cc9497/32.png) [@Capt.Ridley\_s\_Shooting\_Party](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Capt.Ridley_s_Shooting_Party)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2005, 10:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-time-for-a-serious-talk-about-clowning-around/303359/3 "2005-05-11T10:50:07Z")
If you do become a clown, please, please, please dress like [this.](http://www.lunacynet.com/league/images/s2_laz.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![Excalibre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/898d66/32.png) [@Excalibre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Excalibre)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2005, 11:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-time-for-a-serious-talk-about-clowning-around/303359/4 "2005-05-11T11:25:00Z")
Is _anyone_ not scared of clowns? Especially children? I didn’t realize there still were clowns who did the traditional work; I figured they only existed as horror movie villains and, uh, [adult professionals](http://www.ouchytheclown.com). I recommend against it. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2005, 11:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-time-for-a-serious-talk-about-clowning-around/303359/5 "2005-05-11T11:31:41Z")
Watch the episode of Cheers (“Send in the Crane”) where Frasier takes a job being a clown. ---
**Author:** ![Hey\_It\_s\_That\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Hey\_It\_s\_That\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hey_It_s_That_Guy)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2005, 11:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-time-for-a-serious-talk-about-clowning-around/303359/6 "2005-05-11T11:51:52Z")
**Doc** , given some of your clown-related fantasies, this may be a really dangerous and bad idea waiting to happen. That said, my closest co-worker is a professional birthday party clown on weekends and makes pretty decent money. I know she started in the party supply rental business (renting out those giant inflatable moonwalks and stuff), but she also attended a “clown college” to get a certificate or degree. She does magic and balloon animals, among other things. ---
**Author:** ![GingerOfTheNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cdc98d/32.png) [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2005, 12:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-time-for-a-serious-talk-about-clowning-around/303359/7 "2005-05-11T12:04:35Z")
> [@Case Sensitive](#): > > I don’t think any of us were expecting that. I wasn’t expecting it, but it makes sense. He’s terrific with children and obviously loves them, and is Dr. Von Fun. Makes perfect sense to me. Lemme know, Doc. I’ll hire you. ---
**Author:** ![Uvula\_Donor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/e19adc/32.png) [@Uvula\_Donor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uvula_Donor)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2005, 12:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-time-for-a-serious-talk-about-clowning-around/303359/8 "2005-05-11T12:15:19Z")
Ed? Ed Bighead?? Is that you?? ---
**Author:** ![Dragwyr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dragwyr/32/2855_2.png) [@Dragwyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dragwyr)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2005, 1:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-time-for-a-serious-talk-about-clowning-around/303359/9 "2005-05-11T13:22:03Z")
You will want to research how to properly do kids shows. I recommend a book called, _“Seriously Silly” How to Entertain Children with Magic and Comedy_ by David Kay. You may not be a magician, but the stuff in this book is stuff YOU WILL NEED TO KNOW if you want to be a children’s entertainer. [Here is a review of it with a link to where you can order it.](http://www.sillymagic.com/magicshop.html) ---
**Author:** ![CynicalGabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3e96dc/32.png) [@CynicalGabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CynicalGabe)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2005, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-time-for-a-serious-talk-about-clowning-around/303359/10 "2005-05-11T13:58:25Z")
You need a license to be a clown? ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2005, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-time-for-a-serious-talk-about-clowning-around/303359/11 "2005-05-11T14:03:31Z")
**Doc**. . . _put down_ the rubber nose. _Step away_ from the floppy shoes. ---
**Author:** ![MissGypsy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8491ac/32.png) [@MissGypsy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MissGypsy)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2005, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-time-for-a-serious-talk-about-clowning-around/303359/12 "2005-05-11T14:06:22Z")
My parents’ next door neighbor became a clown. She was a gruff, grouchy old retired lady, but she was a pretty decent clown. Her clown persona was a hobo/bag lady sort of schtick, and she took clown classes for a few months. She made balloon animals, which were pretty neat. I don’t think it was very lucrative, though. She mostly performed at children’s hospitals and charity events, rather than private parties. ---
**Author:** ![My\_Dog\_Klaus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f04885/32.png) [@My\_Dog\_Klaus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/My_Dog_Klaus)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2005, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-time-for-a-serious-talk-about-clowning-around/303359/13 "2005-05-11T14:08:27Z")
> [@CynicalGabe](#): > > You need a license to be a clown? Makes it easier to find the bodies later on. :eek: 😃 ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2005, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-time-for-a-serious-talk-about-clowning-around/303359/14 "2005-05-11T17:09:10Z")
> [@Excalibre](#): > > Is _anyone_ not scared of clowns? > > Especially children? I’ve already thought of that. I think it’s the loud boisterous nature of the clown, combined with the white face that induces terror. So, I will not use a white foundation. I’ll wear a rubber nose, and some painted features on the background of my own skin. This will convey that I am a clown, but also let the kids see that I’m just a guy in make up. (I’ll also shave either the left or right half of my beard before each gig. and work out some kind of frame of day glo tubing and light emitting diodes to put on my glasses). My clown persona will sometimes be loud, but will also be confused and uncertain. That will let the kids feel that they are the ones in control and that the clown needs their help to do his show. **Big Bad Voodoo Lou** That fantasy was not authentic and was created just for that thread. My actual clown fantasies involve smiling kids, and happy mommies and daddies saying what a great job I’ve done while they hand me money. Re Big Floppy Shoes I’ve thought about that before. I think that I have a workable plan for shoes that appear to be formal dress shoes. But, when a hidden control is used, the covers pop off and big floppy clown sneakers unroll from beneath them. ---
**Author:** ![Excalibre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/898d66/32.png) [@Excalibre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Excalibre)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2005, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-time-for-a-serious-talk-about-clowning-around/303359/15 "2005-05-11T17:15:35Z")
Look, DocCathode, we all sometimes have these thoughts - leaving everything behind, joining the dregs of society - but please don’t go through with it. It’s not a path that could ever lead to anything good . . . ha ha, only serious ---
**Author:** ![Push\_You\_Down](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/push_you_down/32/9095_2.png) [@Push\_You\_Down](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Push_You_Down)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2005, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-time-for-a-serious-talk-about-clowning-around/303359/16 "2005-05-11T17:33:56Z")
Oh man… My credentials for giving advice: ex-girlfriend of 3 years was kids party entertainer for one of those years. Several several friends work for a company that handles that sort of business. _I_ was a party artist for several months (I went to kids parties and did art projects with them) > [@DocCathode](#): > > I have no car, no license, and no insurance. But, considering that my apartment is conveniently located near a train stop and two bus routes, I can work around that limitation. Forget it then. You need a car. A parent is NOT going to be okay with you calling and saying “Oh I’m going to be 30 minutes late… I missed my bus.” IF you even get the gig once they find out you have no transportation. Do you think people all live on bus routes? Especially families? You want to trapse the boonies and/or city neighborhoods dressed in your clown garb? Don’t think the families will allow you to change at their place. They want you to burst through the front door and be ready to go. One time I was an hour late to an artist gig because the family told my boss to just use mapquest… the mapquest directions took me about 5 miles away. I had to call from a payphone and get directions. Needless to say that threw off the whole party and the parents were gracious but obviously perturbed. The transportation issue is the biggest one. Now… let’s say you get a car- What kind of skills do you bring to the table? Are you naturally funny and charismatic? You covered the no juggling… that’s okay. The lack of a skill can add to the humor. Know any magic tricks? Learn some if you don’t. Ballon tricks. SUPER important. Swords for the boys. Hats and flowers for the girls. You need an act. A solid 45 minutes. Most of the time you will only end up doing 25. I have heard stories of clown being told they were only doing 20-30 minutes and then asked to stall while the moms got the cake and present ready. Read the books. Take some improv classes. Get some skills. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2005, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-time-for-a-serious-talk-about-clowning-around/303359/17 "2005-05-11T17:37:59Z")
> [@DocCathode](#): > > My clown persona will sometimes be loud, but will also be confused and uncertain. That pretty much describes my _non_-clown persona. ---
**Author:** ![FilmGeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b19c9b/32.png) [@FilmGeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FilmGeek)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2005, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-time-for-a-serious-talk-about-clowning-around/303359/18 "2005-05-11T17:42:47Z")
Some of our local chain restaurants (Jason’s Deli and Old Chicago) hire clowns for their kids night. They make balloon animals and generally entertain the kids. Seems like they make pretty good money for a few hours work. ---
**Author:** ![plnnr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@plnnr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/plnnr)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2005, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-time-for-a-serious-talk-about-clowning-around/303359/19 "2005-05-11T17:47:35Z")
Isn’t it rich? Are we a pair? Me here at last on the ground, You in mid-air. Send in the clowns, There ought to be clowns. I love, love, love that song. Sorry, carry on. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2005, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-time-for-a-serious-talk-about-clowning-around/303359/20 "2005-05-11T17:51:28Z")
There’s a lady near us who does Clown shows for kid’s birthday parties. She makes a living at it, but she’s also diversified. In addition to Clown shows, she does Bob the Builder parties, Hawaiian luau kid’s parties, Dress-Up Tea Parties, and lots of other such things. In other words, you might do better if you diversify. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-time-for-a-serious-talk-about-clowning-around/303359.md?page=2)