# It's Time For A Serious Talk About Clowning Around **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 11, 2005, 5:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-time-for-a-serious-talk-about-clowning-around/303359 "2005-05-11T05:32:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2005, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-time-for-a-serious-talk-about-clowning-around/303359/21 "2005-05-11T17:52:34Z")
> [@Plnnr](#): > > Send in the clowns They’re already here. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2005, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-time-for-a-serious-talk-about-clowning-around/303359/22 "2005-05-11T17:57:07Z")
You don’t have transportation…? What about a _clown car_? Get 15 clowns to a mini. Such a deal! ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2005, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-time-for-a-serious-talk-about-clowning-around/303359/23 "2005-05-11T18:10:03Z")
I was thinking that taking public transit to a gig was a bad idea, so I’m glad others have mentioned it. Did you plan on traveling in costume? If not, how can you carry the costume and supplies on a bus? ---
**Author:** ![gaucho](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c67d28/32.png) [@gaucho](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gaucho)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2005, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-time-for-a-serious-talk-about-clowning-around/303359/24 "2005-05-11T18:20:16Z")
A Joke: Giggles the clown and and 9 year-old Bobby are walking through a graveyard late at night. Bobby says, “Gee, Giggles, isn’t this scary, with the dark and moldy old tombstones?” Giggles says, “_You’re_ scared? I have to walk back alone!” ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2005, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-time-for-a-serious-talk-about-clowning-around/303359/25 "2005-05-11T18:37:02Z")
> [@DocCathode](#): > > There comes a time in a man’s life when he ponders a career as a birthday party clown. For me, that time is now. I turn to you for advice. Do we have any clowns or ex-clowns amongst us? Parents, just what do you look for in a clown? > > I have no car, no license, and no insurance. But, considering that my apartment is conveniently located near a train stop and two bus routes, I can work around that limitation. > > I cannot juggle. Realistically, I don’t know that I’ll ever be able to juggle. I’m rather clumsy and uncoordinated. > > I think I can craft an act out of those skills I do have, but I’m not sure what shape it will take. > > I am not kidding. I am seriously considering a career in greasepaint and need advice. Actually, despite my fear of clowns, I WAS a clown for a short time. It’s easier from the other side of the grease paint. I worked at the Ground Round restaurant and they had a clown that would blow up balloons, hand out penny prizes, and act like a goofball for $2.50/hr., which was BIG BUCKS back in 1971. That clown was me. I had the floppy shoes, a costume that would have fit a large man, and a fright wig. Gave up my life as an entertainer just a month or so into it. The boys in the kitchen were a bit too frisky for my liking. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2005, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-time-for-a-serious-talk-about-clowning-around/303359/26 "2005-05-11T18:42:36Z")
> [@gaucho](#): > > A Joke: > > Giggles the clown and and 9 year-old Bobby are walking through a graveyard late at night. Bobby says, “Gee, Giggles, isn’t this scary, with the dark and moldy old tombstones?” Giggles says, “_You’re_ scared? I have to walk back alone!” _bursts out crying and runs out of the scary thread_ ---
**Author:** ![Mtgman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5a626/32.png) [@Mtgman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mtgman)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2005, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-time-for-a-serious-talk-about-clowning-around/303359/27 "2005-05-11T18:46:28Z")
Not all clowns are birthday clowns. Recently there have been resturants having “family nights” where they will have a clown, balloon artist, or makeup artist come in for a couple hours. These performers typically get some stipend from the establishment, but make most of their money from tips and selling balloon art. They don’t always have to wear big costumes, just something which marks them as an entertainer. Kids will stand in line for custom balloon animals, swords, flowers, spider-man, marvin the martian, etc. A buck or two per balloon animal is usually decent profit. There is a man who sits by the exit of a Cici’s pizza in a part of town with a lot of young families and he has a tray of nicknacks(yo-yos, whistles, etc.) that he sells as the family leaves. He also makes balloon animals and does a decent business. Being friendly and good with kids helps of course as does some artistic talent for face/body painting(arms/legs mostly). Working family nights, carnivals, church events, parent’s night out type events may be a better choice than individual birthday parties. Mainly because it would likely be more steady work(birthdays happen once a year and they don’t always want a clown, parent’s night out happens once a month or more and a clown would probably always be welcome there) and more likely to be easier to get to transportation-wise. Churches, resturants, and the local YMCA are more likely to be on bus routes than individual homes and may have somewhere you could change before and after the event. Maybe pick up a local magazine for parents and see what places are advertising family nights or parent’s night out events and calling them to see if a clown/facepainter/balloon artist would be an asset to their event? Good luck, Steven ---
**Author:** ![Scissorjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2005, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-time-for-a-serious-talk-about-clowning-around/303359/28 "2005-05-11T22:09:22Z")
> [@GingerOfTheNorth](#): > > I wasn’t expecting it, but it makes sense. Whoosh! ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2005, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-time-for-a-serious-talk-about-clowning-around/303359/29 "2005-05-11T22:23:34Z")
> [@Big Bad Voodoo Lou](#): > > **Doc** , given some of your clown-related fantasies, this may be a really dangerous and bad idea waiting to happen. > > That said, my closest co-worker is a professional birthday party clown on weekends and makes pretty decent money. I know she started in the party supply rental business (renting out those giant inflatable moonwalks and stuff), but she also attended a “clown college” to get a certificate or degree. She does magic and balloon animals, among other things. Wait…you mean there really is such a thing as “clown college?” Clown fantasies? Uh…do I even want to know? ---
**Author:** ![Belrix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed655f/32.png) [@Belrix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Belrix)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2005, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-time-for-a-serious-talk-about-clowning-around/303359/30 "2005-05-11T23:35:46Z")
I have a strange desire to make balloon animals. No other clown tendencies although I can juggle a little. A professional clown recommended [this site](http://www.balloonhq.com) to me to help with my ballooning desires. ---
**Author:** ![ZebraShaSha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/eada6e/32.png) [@ZebraShaSha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZebraShaSha)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2005, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-time-for-a-serious-talk-about-clowning-around/303359/31 "2005-05-12T00:32:16Z")
“My makeup is dry and it clags on my chin I’m drowning my sorrows in whisky and gin The lion tamer’s whip doesn’t crack anymore The lions they won’t fight and the tigers won’t roar So let’s all drink to the death of a clown…” ---
**Author:** ![jackelope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a6a055/32.png) [@jackelope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jackelope)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2005, 3:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-time-for-a-serious-talk-about-clowning-around/303359/32 "2005-05-12T03:06:54Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > Wait…you mean there really is such a thing as “clown college?” There most definitely is such a thing as clown college; there are a bunch of them, though they’re not generally four-year programs. [Ringling Bros.](http://www.ringling.com) used to have one of the most well-known, but according to some Web site (great cite, I know) it closed in the mid-90s due to excessive competition. There’s also a clown union and a clown hall of fame. [This site](http://www.alltimefavorites.com/local/Education/Education-Clown-School.htm) lists clown schools in (I think) all 50 states and D.C. Actually, now that I browse the list a bit, I’m not sure those links are all legit. But I found it by Googling _clown school_, and there were lots of hits, so I’m sure there’s something in **DocCathode** ’s region. A funny story: A female friend of mine married a professional clown back in about 1991. I was at the wedding, and started randomly chatting with some guy, who turned out to be the best man (I’d had a bad seat and couldn’t see the ceremony, or else I’d have known). Turns out the best man was also a clown, and had in fact gotten the groom into clowning in the first place. I’d had a few drinks, so I laughed and said, in what was probably an excessively smart-assed voice, “So are you a happy clown or a sad clown?” I guess he didn’t get asked about clowning very often, because he proceeded to tell me the entire history of how he got into clowning, where he’d gone to clown school, whether he was a happy clown or a sad clown (“I’m a traditional American sad-faced clown named Dimples…”), the history of clowning traced back from Bill Irwin through Emmett Kelly to Pierrot-freaking-Lunaire, and on and on and on. I tried to get away to get another drink, and he followed, still talking about clowning. I was really sorry I’d asked, especially since there were some women there I was planning to go try to hit on and now I was afraid they’d see me talking to “Dimples.” The moral of the story: Go ahead and be a clown. But don’t be that guy. (Oh, and **plnnr** , I agree: That’s a terrifically beautiful and sad song.) ---
**Author:** ![congodwarf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e36b37/32.png) [@congodwarf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/congodwarf)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2005, 7:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-time-for-a-serious-talk-about-clowning-around/303359/33 "2005-05-12T07:00:36Z")
I recommend learning twisting. It’s surprisingly easy and everyone seems to get a kick out of it. I have never dressed as a clown (and probably never will) but I have been twisting balloons at my fiancee’s family reunion for the last 2 years. The kids think it’s great when I make something as simple as a sword and shield. The adults love the elaborate hats I make for them. Last year, I made a hat with a huge floppy flower hanging from the front. I gave it to my fiancee’s great aunt (over 90 years old). To my delight, she wore it the entire day! I also started face painting at last year’s reunion. I am not an artist by any means. But, face painting is quick an easy. One little girl had me paint both cheeks, both hands and one whole leg. One adult had me paint Pac-Man on her arm, complete with the - - - - - , a ghost and a cherry. I get all my supplies, including learning books and videos, from this place: T Myers If you do decide to do balloons - Get A Pump! I think I herniated an eyeball the last time I tried to blow up a twisting balloon. I use handheld, manual pumps and I have some spares that the kids play with. For an idea of how easy it is to learn twisting: My mom was looking for a hobby. She decided to learn twisting. I visited her one day and decided to try it out. Within an hour, I had made a teddy bear, a sword, a shield, and a trail of connected lady bugs. My mom gave me some balloons and a couple of books and less than a month later, I was showing off at the family reunion. One of the most important things is to take care of your balloons. Don’t store them someplace that’s too hot or cold. I destroyed about $100 worth of specialty balloons, pearlescent colors, and regular colors because I left my supply box in my car in November. Balloons will pop. It’s unavoidable. But, you can minimize the popping by taking care of them. ---
**Author:** ![kaiwik](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaiwik/32/3978_2.png) [@kaiwik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaiwik)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2005, 7:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-time-for-a-serious-talk-about-clowning-around/303359/34 "2005-05-12T07:36:33Z")
[http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Cinema/2636/pic-coll1/it-pic2.jpg](http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Cinema/2636/pic-coll1/it-pic2.jpg) …“Can’t sleep…clown will eat me”… Bart Simpson [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-time-for-a-serious-talk-about-clowning-around/303359.md?page=1)