# It's time to officially Pit Joe Paterno and the Penn State football program. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 7, 2011, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-time-to-officially-pit-joe-paterno-and-the-penn-state-football-program/602167 "2011-11-07T14:23:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 262
**Author:** ![Enola\_Gay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/3ab097/32.png) [@Enola\_Gay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enola_Gay)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2012, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-time-to-officially-pit-joe-paterno-and-the-penn-state-football-program/602167/5223 "2012-10-06T16:37:33Z")
> [@Enderw24](#): > > Wait, are al Qaeda the hiders or hidees of the Soap in this game? I’m so confused. Let me help clarify. Mohammad Atta was hiding (and seeking) the soap, whereas Marwan al Shehhi was giving the passengers naked hugs in the deserted first class bathroom. The interesting twist is that Khalid Shaikh Mohammed was demonstrating the paper towel tube test to the flight attendants to prove that nothing that Atta or al Shehhi did was possible. As a result of all this, United Airlines now serves chocolate covered cherries instead of pretzels. Please start reading for comprehension. ---
**Author:** ![RedFury](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ec9cab/32.png) [@RedFury](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RedFury)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2012, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-time-to-officially-pit-joe-paterno-and-the-penn-state-football-program/602167/5224 "2012-10-06T19:20:08Z")
Must say, this is the first time I’ve seen a quick-proxy change artist at work. Pretty cool. ---
**Author:** ![RedFury](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ec9cab/32.png) [@RedFury](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RedFury)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2012, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-time-to-officially-pit-joe-paterno-and-the-penn-state-football-program/602167/5225 "2012-10-06T19:28:51Z")
And this: > [@Bryan\_Ekers](#): > > Well, in an effort to update the vote total since my last vote tally (#5046): > > A-I have participated in the thread and I AGREE with Starving Artist’s arguments. > **1, since NoLittlePlans expressed something akin to agreement with Starving Artist’s arguments, though not an explicit “A” vote (#5075), and Starving Artist has explicitly denied having an “A” vote (#5050)** > > B-I have participated in the thread and I DISAGREE with Starving Artist’s arguments. > **35** > > C-I have NOT participated in the thread and I AGREE with Starving Artist’s arguments. > **0** > > D-I have NOT participated in the thread and I DISAGREE with Starving Artist’s arguments. > **14** > > I’m not including RaftPeople’s girlfriend’s “D” vote (#5200). The pace of voting has clearly slowed, so I guess we can call this election: 49 to 1, against. Closes the voting. Just for the hard of hearing, again, the final & official count is: **49 to 1** against **Starkers** and his invisible friends Fittingly, a Paterno-like score against defenseless opponents ---
**Author:** ![Starving\_Artist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/aeb1de/32.png) [@Starving\_Artist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Starving_Artist)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2012, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-time-to-officially-pit-joe-paterno-and-the-penn-state-football-program/602167/5226 "2012-10-06T20:12:25Z")
> [@iiandyiiii](#): > > Nope. You may think you did, but you didn’t. You’ve said things like “Sandusky was old so he couldn’t bend his knees”, and “a tall man can’t lower his pelvis enough”, but then you said that a tall person _could_ in fact have sex in this position. The “too old to bend his knees” is patently ludicrous. You are cornered. You have no way out. In your fear, you will lash out like a honey badger. > > But you have lost. You have lost. > > I am victorious! You have as much as admitted that yes, it’s possible and plausible that Sandusky could have been raping that boy in that position. You’ve said nothing reasonable that could contradict that. > > I AM VICTORIOUS!!! Foolish dolt. You’ve neither proven me wrong nor scored any kind of victory. I merely acknowledged a tall man could have sex with a shrt person in that sort of position, which is far too vague and leaves far too many “material difference” to apply to Sandusky. > [@Loach](#): > > Don’t know if you have noticed but we are not on a jury and this is not a trial. The only thing people are trying to refute is your assertions that it was impossible the rape happened. You know, the whole thing you set up an experment to prove? Paper towel tubes? Sound familiar? I know you will say “I never said that.” Then someone will quote where you said that. Then you will ignore it. > > The Grand Jury said rape was probable. You said rape was impossible. You are wrong. That is all. Nope, I said it. Eventually. After no one, despite much angry insistence that it was possible, seemed willing to go on record as having proved the paper towel tube test was erroneous. But the thing is, even if you were able to prove me wrong as to the efficacy of the paper towel tube test, which no one has thus far, it would be beside the point. The point it was intended to illustrate - i.e., no rape - has been discounted by jury verdict. The Grand Jury ruling is meaningless for the reason I described above and it proves nothing. We have courtroom trials to make final determinations and in this case the courtroom trial found as I did that no rape determination could be made on the basis of Mike McQueary’s testimony. Again, are you sure you’re a cop? I’m not so sure, but one thing I do know is that you’re just another finger-in-your-ears denialist. > [@Bryan Ekers](#): > > As an additional note, Sandusky’s privileges at Penn State were sharply curtailed after the second reported shower incident, weren’t they? Sounds like the staff at Penn knew he was doing something suspect - they just didn’t want him doing it on Penn grounds. I’m sure they figured (or at least crossed their fingers and hoped) that would be the end of it, as far as they were concerned. Sounds to me like they weren’t sure what he was doing but just wanted to make sure that they wouldn’t be held responsible if it should turn out at some point in the future that had been proven to be doing things he shouldn’t have which of course were far from having been proven at that point in time. > [@RedFury](#): > > 49 to 1 against Starkers and his invisible friends A meaningless statistic in every way it could be. For one, I never declared there were legions of people on this predominately knee-jerk liberal board who agreed with me, only that there may well have been some who hadn’t come forth who either hadn’t wanted to jump in the fray, or like many of the board’s more sensible posters, never visited the Pit. Don’t know if you noticed, you drunken airhead, but both aspects remained in play in that stupid poll of yours. Plus 49 posters out of all those who are active on the board is really pretty scant support for your side. 🙂 And now I shall step out to make way for **NoLittlePlans** , should he want to come in point out other ways or substantiate old ones in which you idiots have jumped to the wrong conclusions. In my absence, read my words and weep/gnarl your teeth in frustration, for once again I have shown my view to be victorious and every potshot you take easily batted down. Ta. ( **EG** , that one was for you, babe! ;)) ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2012, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-time-to-officially-pit-joe-paterno-and-the-penn-state-football-program/602167/5227 "2012-10-06T21:35:24Z")
> [@Starving\_Artist](#): > > Foolish dolt. You’ve neither proven me wrong nor scored any kind of victory. I merely acknowledged a tall man could have sex with a shrt person in that sort of position, which is far too vague and leaves far too many “material difference” to apply to Sandusky. No it doesn’t, guy who insults people like a comic book villain. You’ve acknowledged that a tall man could have sex with a short person in that sort of position. Sandusky is a tall person who could have had sex with a short person in that sort of position. You have admitted defeat. What’s different about this situation than any other? A tall person just has to bend his knees a little bit. We know that Sandusky is tall. We know that he has knees, and was capable of bending these knees (see [this video](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uctGknsr_c8)- you can see distinctly at 51 seconds in that Sandusky bends his knees [easily and without any obvious pain] in order to enter the police car). So this tall person with functional knees could have adjusted his position in the slight amount necessary to have sex with a short person in that sort of position. So it’s obviously a possibility that there was rape. Well done, self. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2012, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-time-to-officially-pit-joe-paterno-and-the-penn-state-football-program/602167/5228 "2012-10-06T22:16:34Z")
> [@Starving\_Artist](#): > > Sounds to me like they weren’t sure what he was doing but just wanted to make sure that they wouldn’t be held responsible if it should turn out at some point in the future that had been proven to be doing things he shouldn’t have which of course were far from having been proven at that point in time. Yeah… so how did _that_ work out for them? ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2012, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-time-to-officially-pit-joe-paterno-and-the-penn-state-football-program/602167/5229 "2012-10-06T22:21:58Z")
> [@Starving\_Artist](#): > > Plus 49 posters out of all those who are active on the board is really pretty scant support for your side. It’s 49 times better than what _you_ got. It’s like comparing the GDP of the U.S. to that of, say, Greece. Sorry if math is hard for you. Let’s just say 49 is bigger than 1. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2012, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-time-to-officially-pit-joe-paterno-and-the-penn-state-football-program/602167/5230 "2012-10-06T22:29:55Z")
> [@Starving\_Artist](#): > > And now I shall step out to make way for **NoLittlePlans** Why do you have to do that? Why can’t he log in by himself? :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![The\_Dord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3be4f8/32.png) [@The\_Dord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Dord)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2012, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-time-to-officially-pit-joe-paterno-and-the-penn-state-football-program/602167/5231 "2012-10-06T22:46:10Z")
> [@ElvisL1ves](#): > > Why do you have to do that? Why can’t he log in by himself? :dubious: Because he has to get turn on his proxy software on first and then log on! Duh! :smack: 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2012, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-time-to-officially-pit-joe-paterno-and-the-penn-state-football-program/602167/5232 "2012-10-06T22:49:03Z")
Give them a break! They’ve only got one keyboard! ---
**Author:** ![RedFury](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ec9cab/32.png) [@RedFury](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RedFury)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2012, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-time-to-officially-pit-joe-paterno-and-the-penn-state-football-program/602167/5233 "2012-10-06T23:20:24Z")
> [@Bryan\_Ekers](#): > > It’s 49 times better than what _you_ got. It’s like comparing the GDP of the U.S. to that of, say, Greece. > Sorry if math is hard for you. Let’s just say 49 is bigger than 1. > [@ElvisL1ves](#): > > Why do you have to do that? Why can’t he log in by himself? :dubious: > [@The\_Dord](#): > > Because he has to get turn on his proxy software on first and then log on! Duh! :smack: 😃 > [@Bryan\_Ekers](#): > > Give them a break! They’ve only got one keyboard! LMAO! The Epic Fail Thread just keeps on giving. ---
**Author:** ![Crazyhorse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crazyhorse/32/31_2.png) [@Crazyhorse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crazyhorse)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2012, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-time-to-officially-pit-joe-paterno-and-the-penn-state-football-program/602167/5234 "2012-10-06T23:57:27Z")
> [@Bryan\_Ekers](#): > > Penn State has a large senior-adult-ed program, does it? Or maybe they’re well-known for their massive “Steve Martin Impersonation Studies” department. In fairness they could be there to attend a continuing education, arts and crafts type thing with their grandkids. [Artists Helping Children](http://www.artistshelpingchildren.org/toiletpaperrollspapertowelrollsartscraftsideaskids.html) > [@](#): > > TOILET PAPER ROLL CRAFTS FOR KIDS: Ideas for Easy Arts & Crafts Activities, Instructions, & Projects Using Toilet Paper & Paper Towel Rolls & Cardboard Tubes for children, preschoolers, teens. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2012, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-time-to-officially-pit-joe-paterno-and-the-penn-state-football-program/602167/5235 "2012-10-07T00:13:05Z")
> [@Crazyhorse](#): > > In fairness they could be there to attend a continuing education, arts and crafts type thing with their grandkids. > > [Artists Helping Children](http://www.artistshelpingchildren.org/toiletpaperrollspapertowelrollsartscraftsideaskids.html) Well, they must grade on a curve, since Starving Artist’s contention is that it’s impossible to degrade on a level. ---
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2012, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-time-to-officially-pit-joe-paterno-and-the-penn-state-football-program/602167/5236 "2012-10-07T04:23:10Z")
I’m reading this thread in bed and my wife asks what I’m doing. Despite my better judgment I answer: “It’s this massive 120 page thread on the Dope about Sandusky. And there’s one stupid guy arguing against it.” “Like, how? like there weren’t any rapes or what?” “Kind of. Ok so he’s got this theory about a paper towel tube where you can’t squat down and fuck it.” “Hmmm. That seems like it wouldn’t be hard to do. Why can’t you? Did this guy just admit that he has a small penis?” “Ummm…I don’t know. Maybe?” ---
**Author:** ![Starving\_Artist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/aeb1de/32.png) [@Starving\_Artist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Starving_Artist)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2012, 4:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-time-to-officially-pit-joe-paterno-and-the-penn-state-football-program/602167/5237 "2012-10-07T04:30:36Z")
Does your wife ever express the suspicion that for an attorney you’re an incredibly stupid person? ---
**Author:** ![Cheshire\_Human](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Cheshire\_Human](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheshire_Human)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2012, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-time-to-officially-pit-joe-paterno-and-the-penn-state-football-program/602167/5238 "2012-10-07T04:33:58Z")
> [@Starving\_Artist](#): > > … > Sounds to me like they weren’t sure what he was doing but just wanted to make sure that they wouldn’t be held responsible if it should turn out at some point in the future that had been proven to be doing things he shouldn’t have which of course were far from having been proven at that point in time. > … _That_ worked out really well for them. Good thing _you_ were on the case. Keep fucking those [del]children[/del] chickens… [sub]run-on sentences, anyone?[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Starving\_Artist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/aeb1de/32.png) [@Starving\_Artist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Starving_Artist)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2012, 4:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-time-to-officially-pit-joe-paterno-and-the-penn-state-football-program/602167/5239 "2012-10-07T04:46:00Z")
> [@Bryan\_Ekers](#): > > It’s 49 times better than what _you_ got. It’s like comparing the GDP of the U.S. to that of, say, Greece. > Sorry if math is hard for you. Let’s just say 49 is bigger than 1. The math and numbers are meaningless. Once upon a time the majority thought the world was flat. I’m happy to be the one in fifty in this case who knows the truth. > [@Chesire Human](#): > > run-on sentences, anyone? Meh. I was about to leave and posting in haste. Wasn’t the first time; won’t be the last. ---
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2012, 4:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-time-to-officially-pit-joe-paterno-and-the-penn-state-football-program/602167/5240 "2012-10-07T04:50:46Z")
> [@Starving\_Artist](#): > > Does your wife ever express the suspicion that for an attorney you’re an incredibly stupid person? Scene at Starving’s house; “Starving. I’ve been reading that thread! Is it true? People are accusing you of being a pedaphile!” “Whoa whoa whoa! Honey. Darling. Calm down… Where did an 8 year old learn a big word like that?” ---
**Author:** ![Starving\_Artist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/aeb1de/32.png) [@Starving\_Artist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Starving_Artist)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2012, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-time-to-officially-pit-joe-paterno-and-the-penn-state-football-program/602167/5241 "2012-10-07T04:51:34Z")
Perhaps it’s more than a suspicion? Especially since you can’t seem to spell a word properly that has been the crux of the of the entire thread. ---
**Author:** ![Cheshire\_Human](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Cheshire\_Human](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheshire_Human)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2012, 4:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-time-to-officially-pit-joe-paterno-and-the-penn-state-football-program/602167/5242 "2012-10-07T04:52:51Z")
> [@Starving\_Artist](#): > > Meh. I was about to leave and posting in haste. Wasn’t the first time; won’t be the last. Oh, so _that’s_ your excuse for your incredible stupidity. Glad you cleared that up. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-time-to-officially-pit-joe-paterno-and-the-penn-state-football-program/602167.md?page=261) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-time-to-officially-pit-joe-paterno-and-the-penn-state-football-program/602167.md?page=263)