# It's time to officially Pit Joe Paterno and the Penn State football program. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 7, 2011, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-time-to-officially-pit-joe-paterno-and-the-penn-state-football-program/602167 "2011-11-07T14:23:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 263
**Author:** ![Starving\_Artist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/aeb1de/32.png) [@Starving\_Artist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Starving_Artist)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2012, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-time-to-officially-pit-joe-paterno-and-the-penn-state-football-program/602167/5243 "2012-10-07T04:56:15Z")
Well…_that_ was certainly mature. 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Cheshire\_Human](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Cheshire\_Human](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheshire_Human)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2012, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-time-to-officially-pit-joe-paterno-and-the-penn-state-football-program/602167/5244 "2012-10-07T05:10:00Z")
> [@Starving\_Artist](#): > > Well…_that_ was certainly mature. 🆒 Why, thank you. Or not… Fucking idiot. ---
**Author:** ![Starving\_Artist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/aeb1de/32.png) [@Starving\_Artist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Starving_Artist)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2012, 5:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-time-to-officially-pit-joe-paterno-and-the-penn-state-football-program/602167/5245 "2012-10-07T05:21:30Z")
> [@iiandyiiii](#): > > No it doesn’t, guy who insults people like a comic book villain. You’ve acknowledged that a tall man could have sex with a short person in that sort of position. Sandusky is a tall person who could have had sex with a short person in that sort of position. You have admitted defeat. What’s different about this situation than any other? A tall person just has to bend his knees a little bit. We know that Sandusky is tall. We know that he has knees, and was capable of bending these knees (see [this video](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uctGknsr_c8)- you can see distinctly at 51 seconds in that Sandusky bends his knees [easily and without any obvious pain] in order to enter the police car). So this tall person with functional knees could have adjusted his position in the slight amount necessary to have sex with a short person in that sort of position. So it’s obviously a possibility that there was rape. > > Well done, self. Sorry, guy who thinks like a moron. Leaving aside the material diffences in height, age and physical abilites extant in any miscellaneous group of tall and short people, and/or the considerable difference in physical exertion and balance required to pull off several minutes of intercourse two feet off the ground vs. lowering oneself into a car, I would point out also that Sandusky’s legs were bent considerably more than a “little bit” as he lowered himself enough to sit in the car, and that no one with any kind of grasp on the English language would characterize his posture as he did so to be “standing.” Once again, I win, you lose. It has been ever thus. Next? ---
**Author:** ![Starving\_Artist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/aeb1de/32.png) [@Starving\_Artist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Starving_Artist)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2012, 5:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-time-to-officially-pit-joe-paterno-and-the-penn-state-football-program/602167/5246 "2012-10-07T05:23:46Z")
> [@Cheshire\_Human](#): > > Why, thank you. Or not… > > Fucking idiot. I note with amused cynicism the lack of substance in your posts. ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2012, 9:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-time-to-officially-pit-joe-paterno-and-the-penn-state-football-program/602167/5247 "2012-10-07T09:04:11Z")
Documentary evidence of Sandusky being [perfectly capable](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aFW0WCUEOqc) of standing and moving with his legs bent. More amusing [edited](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rz346ZF0YLM)clip. Geez, doesn’t he just look like a doddering geriatric incapable of basic mobility. ---
**Author:** ![gamerunknown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/6bbea6/32.png) [@gamerunknown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gamerunknown)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2012, 9:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-time-to-officially-pit-joe-paterno-and-the-penn-state-football-program/602167/5248 "2012-10-07T09:21:39Z")
> [@Starving\_Artist](#): > > The math and numbers are meaningless. Where are you posting this for yuks? 4chan? Free republic? ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2012, 11:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-time-to-officially-pit-joe-paterno-and-the-penn-state-football-program/602167/5249 "2012-10-07T11:51:29Z")
> [@Starving\_Artist](#): > > Sorry, guy who thinks like a moron. Leaving aside the material diffences in height, age and physical abilites extant in any miscellaneous group of tall and short people, and/or the considerable difference in physical exertion and balance required to pull off several minutes of intercourse two feet off the ground vs. lowering oneself into a car, I would point out also that Sandusky’s legs were bent considerably more than a “little bit” as he lowered himself enough to sit in the car, and that no one with any kind of grasp on the English language would characterize his posture as he did so to be "standing. Once again you demonstrate a poor understanding of the word “standing” (I’ve noticed that this is all you have left to cling to). He obviously wasn’t crouching (nor was he in the football clip), and any stance above a crouch could easily be characterized as “standing”. So now it’s “several minutes of intercourse”? Where did this come from? Not that it changes anything- all you have is an assertion that somehow this would be very difficult, despite the fact that there’s tons of video evidence on the internet that such a position can be quite easily accomplished. So you’re left with a weird interpretation of the word “standing” and a nonsensical claim about how difficult it would be to have sex in that position. And somehow this makes the rape “impossible”. It’s hilarious what you cling to just to maintain this ridiculous idea (that you seem to be the only one in the world to have- seriously, does _anyone else on earth_ think that this rape was impossible?). How do you account for the police, prosecutor, and the grand jury? They didn’t only think the rape was possible, but they thought there was enough evidence to indict. Perhaps you lack understanding and experience of human sexuality. If so, may I recommend the internet- it has a lot of material that might enlighten you as to how sex works. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2012, 11:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-time-to-officially-pit-joe-paterno-and-the-penn-state-football-program/602167/5250 "2012-10-07T11:53:56Z")
> [@Starving\_Artist](#): > > The math and numbers are meaningless. Once upon a time the majority thought the world was flat. I’m happy to be the one in fifty in this case who knows the truth. That reminds me - does your paper tube experiment take into account the curvature of the Earth? And it’s not clear how you could know the truth of this, unless you’re Sandusky. Or the boy. ---
**Author:** ![Cheshire\_Human](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Cheshire\_Human](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheshire_Human)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2012, 12:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-time-to-officially-pit-joe-paterno-and-the-penn-state-football-program/602167/5251 "2012-10-07T12:29:45Z")
> [@Starving\_Artist](#): > > I note with amused cynicism the lack of substance in your posts. As do I, yours. _All_ yours. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2012, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-time-to-officially-pit-joe-paterno-and-the-penn-state-football-program/602167/5252 "2012-10-07T15:03:09Z")
Out of curiosity, I wonder how many people think McQueary should have kept his mouth shut so Paterno could (eventually) retire with honour. ---
**Author:** ![CannyDan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cannydan/32/548_2.png) [@CannyDan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CannyDan)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2012, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-time-to-officially-pit-joe-paterno-and-the-penn-state-football-program/602167/5253 "2012-10-07T15:03:33Z")
> [@NoLittlePlans](#): > > Only got a sec, but these are reasonable questions that I wish I could address more thoroughly when I have more time. > > Real quick, I don’t have an opinion on the paper towel tube theory or the physics behind a 6-4 man with a very young boy. > > \*\*\* Do I think it’s possible that McQueary interrupted anal rape in the showers that night? Yes.\*\* > > - Do I think that’s what he interrupted? No. > - What’s my level of confidence? Not high, but leaning that way due to a number of contradictions and inconsistencies that just don’t seem to add up. > - Slightly more likely scenario to me: JS rubbing his junk on the boy’s backside. Possible that the 3 slapping sounds produced a predetermined image of sex in his head and then a quick, split-second glance through the mirror was close enough for him to suspect the worst. \ (bolding mine) I do truly appreciate the direct answer, and apologize for the lapse of time. And I’m sorry that most of your reply has been mooted by the progress of the thread. I’m going to stop here to address the statements above because they apply to both the merged threads. Oh, I’ve read the rest, but I don’t think it has a very high signal to noise ratio and is more about diverting attention from the acts and onto the credibility of a host of tangential people. And I’m just a slow, plodding thinker, so keeping track of who contradicted who on what timeline is beyond me at this point. (I blame 1968. At least I think it might have been 1968. Or around there sometime.) Plus, I don’t see anything in it that changes my opinions about Sandusky’s guilt as a serial sex offender, or JoPa’s guilt in failing his moral obligations to the victims. Anyway, as to the above and its relation to the poll – looks like the number of people agreeing with **SA** that anal sex was _impossible_ is now down to zero. Pretty conclusive proof of the asininity of his ‘arguments’ when even his [del]sock[/del] defender / supporter disagrees with him. ‘Nuf said; back to the entertainment. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2012, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-time-to-officially-pit-joe-paterno-and-the-penn-state-football-program/602167/5254 "2012-10-07T15:41:43Z")
> [@CannyDan](#): > > Anyway, as to the above and its relation to the poll – looks like the number of people agreeing with **SA** that anal sex was _impossible_ is now down to zero. Pretty conclusive proof of the asininity of his ‘arguments’ when even his [del]sock[/del] defender / supporter disagrees with him. ‘Nuf said; back to the entertainment. Well, in that case, the vote is 49 to 0, which is like comparing the GDP of the United States to… zero. ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2012, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-time-to-officially-pit-joe-paterno-and-the-penn-state-football-program/602167/5255 "2012-10-07T17:12:12Z")
> [@Bryan\_Ekers](#): > > Well, in that case, the vote is 49 to 0, which is like comparing the GDP of the United States to… zero. Actually wouldn’t it be more like comparing the GDP of the US to that of that of East Buttfuck Penn? ---
**Author:** ![Cheshire\_Human](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Cheshire\_Human](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheshire_Human)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2012, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-time-to-officially-pit-joe-paterno-and-the-penn-state-football-program/602167/5256 "2012-10-07T20:45:15Z")
> [@Rick](#): > > …East Buttfuck Penn? Is that what they’re calling “Happy Valley” now? ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2012, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-time-to-officially-pit-joe-paterno-and-the-penn-state-football-program/602167/5257 "2012-10-08T00:01:08Z")
“Happy Valley” is the name **Starving Artist / NoLittlePlans** uses for the cleft between a boy’s butt cheeks. ---
**Author:** ![Drain\_Bead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e47774/32.png) [@Drain\_Bead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drain_Bead)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2012, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-time-to-officially-pit-joe-paterno-and-the-penn-state-football-program/602167/5258 "2012-10-08T00:11:57Z")
I just threw up in my mouth a little bit. ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2012, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-time-to-officially-pit-joe-paterno-and-the-penn-state-football-program/602167/5259 "2012-10-08T03:40:26Z")
> [@Cheshire\_Human](#): > > Is that what they’re calling “Happy Valley” now? I’ve got a good friend that went to Penn State, and I’ve been making fun of that name for decades now. “Happy Valley” has always sounded like a sanitarium or a cult resort. ---
**Author:** ![Cheshire\_Human](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Cheshire\_Human](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheshire_Human)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2012, 7:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-time-to-officially-pit-joe-paterno-and-the-penn-state-football-program/602167/5260 "2012-10-08T07:25:19Z")
> [@ElvisL1ves](#): > > “Happy Valley” is the name **Starving Artist / NoLittlePlans** uses for the cleft between a boy’s butt cheeks. But what does Sandusky’s cell-mate call Sandusky’s ‘cleft’? [sub]heh. I said ‘but’![/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Cheshire\_Human](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Cheshire\_Human](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheshire_Human)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2012, 7:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-time-to-officially-pit-joe-paterno-and-the-penn-state-football-program/602167/5261 "2012-10-08T07:34:04Z")
> [@digs](#): > > I’ve got a good friend that went to Penn State, and I’ve been making fun of that name for decades now. “Happy Valley” has always sounded like a sanitarium or a cult resort. Well, now it has a _new_ name. East Buttfuck. Learn it, Live it, Love it… Then fuck it. ---
**Author:** ![NoLittlePlans](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/8797f3/32.png) [@NoLittlePlans](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NoLittlePlans)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2012, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-time-to-officially-pit-joe-paterno-and-the-penn-state-football-program/602167/5262 "2012-10-08T22:55:19Z")
**BREAKING:** Second Mile sicko Jerry Sandusky releases [the following statement](http://bit.ly/SanduskyStatement) from prison just moments ago: \*I’m responding to the worst loss of my life. First I looked at myself. Over and over, I asked why? Why didn’t we have a fair opportunity to prepare for trial? Why have so many people suffered as a result of false allegations? What’s the purpose? Maybe it will help others. Some vulnerable children who could be abused might not be as a result of all the publicity. That would be nice, but I’m not sure about it. I would cherish the opportunity to become a candle for others as they have been a light for me. They can take away my life, they can make me out as a monster, they can treat me as a monster, but they can’t take away my heart. In my heart, I know I did not do these alleged, disgusting acts. My wife has been my only sex partner and that was after marriage. Our love continues. A young man who is dramatic and a veteran accuser and always sought attention started everything. He was joined by a well-orchestrated effort of the media, investigators, the system, Penn State, psychologists, civil attorneys and other accusers. They won. I’ve wondered what they really won. Attention, financial gain, prestige will all be temporary. Before you blame me, as others have, look at everything and everybody. Look at the preparation for the trial and the trial. Compare it to others. Think about what happened, why and who made it happen. Evaluate the accusers and their families. Realize they didn’t come out of isolation. The accusers were products of many more people and experiences than me. Look at their confidants and their honesty. Think about how easy it was for them to turn on me given the information, attention, and potential perks. I never labeled or put down them or their families. I tried and I cared, then asked for the same. Please realize all came to the Second Mile because of issues. Some of those may remain. We will continue to fight. We didn’t lose to proven facts, evidence, accurate locations, and times. Anything can be said. We lost to speculation and stories that were influenced by people who wanted to convict me. We must fight unfairness, inconsistency, and dishonesty. People need to be portrayed for who they really are. We’ve not been complainers. When we couldn’t have kids we adopted. When we didn’t have time to prepare for trial we still gave it our best. We will fight for another chance. We have given many second chances and now will ask for one. It will take more than our effort. Justice will have to be more than just a word. Fairness be more than just a dream. It will take others. Somebody apolitical with the courage to listen, to think about the unfairness, to have the guts to stand up and take the road less traveled. I ask for the strength to handle everything and the willingness to surrender only to God regardless of the outcome.\* [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-time-to-officially-pit-joe-paterno-and-the-penn-state-football-program/602167.md?page=262) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-time-to-officially-pit-joe-paterno-and-the-penn-state-football-program/602167.md?page=264)