# It's time to officially Pit Joe Paterno and the Penn State football program. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 7, 2011, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-time-to-officially-pit-joe-paterno-and-the-penn-state-football-program/602167 "2011-11-07T14:23:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 335
**Author:** ![rmbnxs](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b9e5f3/32.png) [@rmbnxs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rmbnxs)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2016, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-time-to-officially-pit-joe-paterno-and-the-penn-state-football-program/602167/6683 "2016-07-20T00:43:19Z")
> [@Fotheringay-Phipps](#): > > Personally I think Sandusky murdered him. > > He knew that Paterno knew more than anyone about all his misdeeds over the years, and with his trial coming up he couldn’t afford to leave this key witness alive. > [@Fotheringay-Phipps](#): > > Well assuming that Sandusky didn’t murder him, my other theory is that he’s still alive, and the whole cancer thing was faked to enable him to get out of a sticky situation. > > I mean, what’s the likelihood that a guy gets diagnosed with cancer at the exact time that he’s facing a huge legal and PR crisis? > > I suspect he might be even now coaching another NCAA team under an assumed name. I’m going to be charitable and assume you’re being intentionally ironic to be funny. The only other alternative would seem to be that you’re an imbecile. ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2016, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-time-to-officially-pit-joe-paterno-and-the-penn-state-football-program/602167/6684 "2016-07-20T01:08:08Z")
He thinks he’s making a point that if we see these scenarios as absurd, then he can say “Gotcha! Then it’s also absurd that Paterno ever had a clue as to what Sandusky was up to. Ergo ipso facto Joe’s innocent! Just like I told you back in the paper towel tube thread!” ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2016, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-time-to-officially-pit-joe-paterno-and-the-penn-state-football-program/602167/6685 "2016-07-20T01:43:42Z")
> [@Merneith](#): > > Yeah. Everyone blamed it on the cancer but - was there an autopsy? Cancer is almost never that fast and convenient. Unfortunately, yes. ☹ [“Badger Bob” Johnson](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bob_Johnson_(ice_hockey,_born_1931)#Brain_cancer_and_death), legendary NHL coach was diagnosed with brain cancer in August of 1991 and died three months later in November. ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2016, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-time-to-officially-pit-joe-paterno-and-the-penn-state-football-program/602167/6686 "2016-07-20T01:54:12Z")
> [@digs](#): > > He thinks he’s making a point that if we see these scenarios as absurd, then he can say “Gotcha! Then it’s also absurd that Paterno ever had a clue as to what Sandusky was up to. Ergo ipso facto Joe’s innocent! Just like I told you back in the paper towel tube thread!” 😕 This _is_ the paper towel tube thread. Or did I miss something? ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2016, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-time-to-officially-pit-joe-paterno-and-the-penn-state-football-program/602167/6687 "2016-07-20T02:05:38Z")
> [@rmbnxs](#): > > I’m going to be charitable and assume you’re being intentionally ironic to be funny. The only other alternative would seem to be that you’re an imbecile. Whoosh muss up your hair? ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2016, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-time-to-officially-pit-joe-paterno-and-the-penn-state-football-program/602167/6688 "2016-07-20T02:44:27Z")
> [@JohnT](#): > > This _is_ the paper towel tube thread. Or did I miss something? Oh, yeahhhh… it’s been so long… with a lovely hiatus unencumbered by any thoughts of The Showers of Happy Valley. Then this started up again and felt like a whole new thread. ---
**Author:** ![kidchameleon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/898d66/32.png) [@kidchameleon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kidchameleon)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2016, 11:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-time-to-officially-pit-joe-paterno-and-the-penn-state-football-program/602167/6689 "2016-07-20T11:42:54Z")
> [@Fotheringay-Phipps](#): > > Well assuming that Sandusky didn’t murder him, my other theory is that he’s still alive, and the whole cancer thing was faked to enable him to get out of a sticky situation. > > I mean, what’s the likelihood that a guy gets diagnosed with cancer at the exact time that he’s facing a huge legal and PR crisis? > > I suspect he might be even now coaching another NCAA team under an assumed name. Were Paterno and Art Briles ever seen together? :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Fotheringay-Phipps](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/d9b06d/32.png) [@Fotheringay-Phipps](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fotheringay-Phipps)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2016, 1:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-time-to-officially-pit-joe-paterno-and-the-penn-state-football-program/602167/6690 "2016-07-20T13:27:20Z")
> [@rmbnxs](#): > > I’m going to be charitable and assume you’re being intentionally ironic to be funny. The only other alternative would seem to be that you’re an imbecile. Why all the hostility? Important issues are being raised here. You’ve got another theory, by all means whip it out. Unless … Perhaps you yourself _are_ Joe Paterno, alarmed at being outed and the prospect that your hair dye and false mustache will no longer suffice to keep the feds off your case. (Or perhaps even Sandusky.) One thing that seems certain is that the mysterious “death” of Joe Paterno will rival that of Lady Di - perhaps even Vince Foster - in intrigue and speculation. Has anyone ever seen an original copy of Paterno’s long-form death certificate? Hmm … ---
**Author:** ![madsircool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madsircool/32/3432_2.png) [@madsircool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madsircool)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2016, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-time-to-officially-pit-joe-paterno-and-the-penn-state-football-program/602167/6691 "2016-09-01T19:29:38Z")
Paterno to be honored 9-17 at the 50th anniversary of his hiring at Penn St. ---
**Author:** ![El\_Kabong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_kabong/32/496_2.png) [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2016, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-time-to-officially-pit-joe-paterno-and-the-penn-state-football-program/602167/6692 "2016-09-01T21:41:45Z")
> [@madsircool](#): > > Paterno to be honored 9-17 at the 50th anniversary of his hiring at Penn St. I hear he won’t be attending. ---
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2016, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-time-to-officially-pit-joe-paterno-and-the-penn-state-football-program/602167/6693 "2016-09-02T05:33:48Z")
However, a man named Mr Onretap has suspiciously booked a tickets/hotel room package… ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2016, 5:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-time-to-officially-pit-joe-paterno-and-the-penn-state-football-program/602167/6694 "2016-09-02T05:51:56Z")
> [@Superdude](#): > > However, a man named Mr Onretap has suspiciously booked a tickets/hotel room package… I like the way Onretap thinks! ---
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2016, 5:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-time-to-officially-pit-joe-paterno-and-the-penn-state-football-program/602167/6695 "2016-09-02T05:57:03Z")
Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for getting that reference. ---
**Author:** ![Randolph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Randolph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Randolph)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2017, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-time-to-officially-pit-joe-paterno-and-the-penn-state-football-program/602167/6696 "2017-06-02T20:18:48Z")
[Former Penn State president Graham Spanier sentenced to jail for child endangerment in Jerry Sandusky abuse case](https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/sports/wp/2017/06/02/former-penn-state-president-graham-spanier-sentenced-to-jail-for-child-endangerment-in-jerry-sandusky-abuse-case/). ---
**Author:** ![Ike\_Witt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ike_witt/32/283_2.png) [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2017, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-time-to-officially-pit-joe-paterno-and-the-penn-state-football-program/602167/6697 "2017-06-02T20:24:40Z")
I just saw that story and came here too late to break the news, good as it is. ---
**Author:** ![Patx2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/73ab20/32.png) [@Patx2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Patx2)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2017, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-time-to-officially-pit-joe-paterno-and-the-penn-state-football-program/602167/6698 "2017-06-02T20:43:39Z")
The whole mess is just tragic, those poor kids. What makes me really crazy, is not just what did Joe know and how could he live with that knowledge, but the fact that so many from Penn State, or Happy Valley whatever the hell they call it, think the man is a freaking Saint. ---
**Author:** ![Snowboarder\_Bo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowboarder_bo/32/229_2.png) [@Snowboarder\_Bo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snowboarder_Bo)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2017, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-time-to-officially-pit-joe-paterno-and-the-penn-state-football-program/602167/6699 "2017-06-02T22:18:25Z")
> [@Randolph](#): > > [Former Penn State president Graham Spanier sentenced to jail for child endangerment in Jerry Sandusky abuse case](https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/sports/wp/2017/06/02/former-penn-state-president-graham-spanier-sentenced-to-jail-for-child-endangerment-in-jerry-sandusky-abuse-case/). The wheels of American justice grind slowly, but oh how they grind. ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2017, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-time-to-officially-pit-joe-paterno-and-the-penn-state-football-program/602167/6700 "2017-06-02T22:52:25Z")
Two months in jail? Not what I’d call a harsh sentence. ---
**Author:** ![Tim\_T-Bonham.net](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/46a35a/32.png) [@Tim\_T-Bonham.net](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tim_T-Bonham.net)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2017, 6:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-time-to-officially-pit-joe-paterno-and-the-penn-state-football-program/602167/6701 "2017-06-03T06:17:23Z")
> [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](#): > > Two months in jail? Not what I’d call a harsh sentence. And they’ll get 1/3 off for good behavior, so 40 days in jail. I bet a lot of the victims have spent more time than that seeing counselors or psychologists than that. ---
**Author:** ![voltaire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voltaire/32/313_2.png) [@voltaire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/voltaire)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2017, 6:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-time-to-officially-pit-joe-paterno-and-the-penn-state-football-program/602167/6702 "2017-06-03T06:31:52Z")
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