# It's Time To Play "Spot The Crime"! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 28, 2007, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-time-to-play-spot-the-crime/409818 "2007-06-28T20:40:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2007, 5:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-time-to-play-spot-the-crime/409818/41 "2007-06-29T05:55:28Z")
**Hal** me boy, tis a shame you had to leave the picnic at **What Exit?'s** home before I shared some stories from my years as a firefighter, including one which would have underscored the basic concept that open flames are NOT the most effective means of combatting insects. šŸ˜‰ Be thankful those are apparently flame retardant treated curtains-it could have turned into a bigger awshit had they been something like ordinary fabric. ---
**Author:** ![cooky173](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/71c47a/32.png) [@cooky173](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cooky173)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2007, 11:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-time-to-play-spot-the-crime/409818/42 "2007-06-29T11:22:48Z")
So did the fireball go further than imagined? Or should I instead be picturing a flaming fly buzzing around for a second? ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2007, 11:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-time-to-play-spot-the-crime/409818/43 "2007-06-29T11:47:13Z")
Youā€™re gonna need a bigger insect. A big hornet, or a number of them - if you killed a _fearsome_ insect with a makeshift flame thrower, you might be forgiven. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2007, 11:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-time-to-play-spot-the-crime/409818/44 "2007-06-29T11:48:16Z")
Alternatively, hide all the other evidence and claim someone was shooting laser beams at you through the window. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2007, 11:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-time-to-play-spot-the-crime/409818/45 "2007-06-29T11:50:02Z")
Or claim itā€™s a new kind of art. ---
**Author:** ![An\_Arky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/87869e/32.png) [@An\_Arky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/An_Arky)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2007, 12:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-time-to-play-spot-the-crime/409818/46 "2007-06-29T12:44:10Z")
[QUOTE=BMalion] Great story!\* snip 3.Say to wife ā€œI wanted clean curtains.ā€ snip [/QUOTE] BWAHAHAHAHA! You think _that_ wouldnā€™t arouse suspicion? šŸ˜ƒ ---
**Author:** ![An\_Arky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/87869e/32.png) [@An\_Arky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/An_Arky)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2007, 12:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-time-to-play-spot-the-crime/409818/47 "2007-06-29T12:48:05Z")
ā€¦ ---
**Author:** ![Mindfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mindfield/32/19759_2.png) [@Mindfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mindfield)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2007, 12:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-time-to-play-spot-the-crime/409818/48 "2007-06-29T12:52:44Z")
[QUOTE=Mangetout] Alternatively, hide all the other evidence and claim someone was shooting [del]laser beams[/del] **a 1920ā€™s-style death ray** at you through the window. [/QUOTE] Fixed that for you. ---
**Author:** ![D\_Odds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/d_odds/32/2882_2.png) [@D\_Odds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Odds)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2007, 1:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-time-to-play-spot-the-crime/409818/49 "2007-06-29T13:17:10Z")
[QUOTE=swampbear] There are less potentially lethal ways to redecorate. Just sayinā€™ for future consideration is allā€¦ [/QUOTE] Whereā€™s the fun in that? You can start barbecue fires with less than a gallon of lighter fluid, but why would you want to? ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2007, 1:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-time-to-play-spot-the-crime/409818/50 "2007-06-29T13:21:52Z")
[QUOTE=Hal Briston] And thatā€™s the one that saved my bacon. The curtains were left by the previous owners. Weā€™ve since decorated the kitchen in a wine-bottle-and-grapes themeā€¦and purple curtains would look _so_ much nicer in there than those musty, old non-flame-retardant red ones! Weā€™re heading to the store in a couple of minutes. šŸ™‚ [/QUOTE] I was hoping she didnā€™t scour the ends of the Earth looking for ā€œjust the right colorā€ for her curtains. Lucky you! Take her shopping the minute she gets home. ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Zappa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Mama\_Zappa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Zappa)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2007, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-time-to-play-spot-the-crime/409818/51 "2007-06-29T13:25:46Z")
[QUOTE=garygnu] At least you got the fly. [/QUOTE] :::snerk::: I popped in here to make that exact same observation. See, my brother once tried to deal with a fly near a window. Only, this being some years back (I believe he was 6 at the time), he was unaware of the Bic / Pledge method so he had to settle for a baseball bat. The fly, as far as we know, survived. As you can imagine, the window did not. Clearly your method is FAR superior šŸ˜ƒ ---
**Author:** ![garygnu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/garygnu/32/2924_2.png) [@garygnu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/garygnu)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2007, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-time-to-play-spot-the-crime/409818/52 "2007-06-29T13:59:16Z")
I just remembered [this thread at the Something Awful forums](http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=2243176) describing a scaled-up version of this pest-control method, only it was outside. ---
**Author:** ![RandMcnally](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b782af/32.png) [@RandMcnally](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RandMcnally)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2007, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-time-to-play-spot-the-crime/409818/53 "2007-06-29T14:17:08Z")
If youā€™re going to deny it (which I suggest), I say go the two-year old route. ā€œWhy are there burn marks on the curtains?ā€ ā€œWhat burn marks? Oh those. I have no idea where that came from. Probably a band of roaming gypsies.ā€ ā€œDid you do this?ā€ ā€œNo, of course not. I would never do such a thing. How dare you accuse me!?ā€ Then you walk off angry, but then come back and apologize for getting emotional then go buy her something. Sheā€™ll forget all about it. ---
**Author:** ![Missy2U](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3bc359/32.png) [@Missy2U](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Missy2U)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2007, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-time-to-play-spot-the-crime/409818/54 "2007-06-29T14:21:17Z")
Hal, my husband just called. I read him your OP. He says he wants you to be King. Yes, my husband is an idiot, and Hal is his King. šŸ˜‰ ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2007, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-time-to-play-spot-the-crime/409818/55 "2007-06-29T15:45:38Z")
[QUOTE=InappropriateHumor] picturing you with the lighter in one hand and the Pledge in the other, gawking at the poor ruined curtain [/QUOTE] The funniest part is imagining the slow dawning horror, staring at the burned curtain, followed by the jolt of happiness: ā€œI know! Iā€™ll post this on the Dope! Okay, whereā€™s the cameraā€¦ā€ and then a couple of minutes of crawling around on the floor looking for the fly cadaver. ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2007, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-time-to-play-spot-the-crime/409818/56 "2007-06-29T16:21:49Z")
[QUOTE=InappropriateHumor] **Hal** , Iā€™m just sittinā€™ here, with the occasional snort of laughter, imagining your face when this happened. Iā€™ll go back and look at the after shot of the curtain, then take to snickering again, picturing you with the lighter in one hand and the Pledge in the other, gawking at the poor ruined curtain. [/QUOTE] [QUOTE=Cervaise] The funniest part is imagining the slow dawning horror, staring at the burned curtain, followed by the jolt of happiness: ā€œI know! Iā€™ll post this on the Dope! Okay, whereā€™s the cameraā€¦ā€ and then a couple of minutes of crawling around on the floor looking for the fly cadaver. [/QUOTE] Hehā€¦youā€™re both got it pretty much right (except the fly cadaver was right where I said it was). It went kinda like this: _ **\** _ "Ha! Gotcha, ya little buzzing bast_ohfuckohfuckohfuck_! Oh, \, it went out at quick as it went upā€¦ ā€¦ ā€¦ Holy crap, that was _not_ smart. ā€¦ ā€¦ Holy crap, how the _fuck_ am I going to explain _this_? ā€¦ ā€¦ Ah wellā€¦should make for a great Dope thread, at least." ---
**Author:** ![Kairos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecc23a/32.png) [@Kairos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kairos)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2007, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-time-to-play-spot-the-crime/409818/57 "2007-06-29T21:58:06Z")
Nothing to do with anything, really, but am I the only one who sees a demon in the ruined curtain? Iā€™m guessing probably. Yanno, I went through my pyro stage when I was a teenager, but what is it about men that most of them never seem to grow out of it? ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2007, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-time-to-play-spot-the-crime/409818/58 "2007-06-29T22:13:33Z")
[QUOTE=Kairos] Nothing to do with anything, really, but am I the only one who sees a demon in the ruined curtain? Iā€™m guessing probably. Yanno, I went through my pyro stage when I was a teenager, but what is it about men that most of them never seem to grow out of it? [/QUOTE] I dunno, why is that women never seem to grow out of their ā€œdress upā€ phase? šŸ˜› ---
**Author:** ![gotpasswords](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c57346/32.png) [@gotpasswords](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gotpasswords)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2007, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-time-to-play-spot-the-crime/409818/59 "2007-06-29T22:47:19Z")
[QUOTE=Swampwolf] HA! Not a chanceā€¦even if he got the _identical_ curtains (pre-fireball, natch), I bet sheā€™d notice. [/QUOTE] Absolutely so! Women \*\*KNOW \*\* about these things. Years ago, Iā€™d splattered something on Momā€™s kitchen curtains. I took immediately took them down, chucked them into the washing machine and in two hours, the curtains were back up as if nothing happened. When she came home, she asked what happened. Ummā€¦ not much. Watched TV mostly, why do you ask? ā€œBecasue you donā€™t wash curtains for the fun of it on a Saturday night!ā€ ---
**Author:** ![Sapo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ec9cab/32.png) [@Sapo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sapo)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2007, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-time-to-play-spot-the-crime/409818/60 "2007-06-29T23:56:51Z")
wow really wow The answer, of course, was to say that you were checking the house for fire-proofness, concerned dad that you are. ā€œHoney, did you know these curtains are not fire retardant?! We could have died here. Letā€™s get some new ones to be safe.ā€ ETA: or start a thread ā€œWhatā€™s the best way to kill a fly?ā€ and create a sock to reply ā€œThe UN says that firepledge is the way to goā€. ā€œHoney, it was on the SDMB!ā€ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-time-to-play-spot-the-crime/409818.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-time-to-play-spot-the-crime/409818.md?page=4)