# It's upsetting when other whites reveal their racism to me. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 20, 2012, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-upsetting-when-other-whites-reveal-their-racism-to-me/616307 "2012-03-20T13:41:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2012, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-upsetting-when-other-whites-reveal-their-racism-to-me/616307/41 "2012-03-20T17:21:36Z")
I thought he meant nougat. ---
**Author:** ![Duke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e8c25b/32.png) [@Duke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2012, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-upsetting-when-other-whites-reveal-their-racism-to-me/616307/42 "2012-03-20T17:33:27Z")
“How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the N-Bomb”? ---
**Author:** ![Find\_Friends](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@Find\_Friends](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Find_Friends)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2012, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-upsetting-when-other-whites-reveal-their-racism-to-me/616307/43 "2012-03-20T17:33:41Z")
> [@Leaffan](#): > > And on a similar note, I am an invisible immigrant. I take much secret pleasure when people start riffing about immigrants, and I get to respond with “I wasn’t born in Canada.” After much backpedaling and awkwardness they usually try to make excuses about the “type” of immigrants and “you know what I mean?” > > Umm, no. No, I don’t really. But, Leaffan… Don’t you see? it’s really very simple. You’re one of the _ **Good Ones** _. 😉 > [@TriPolar](#): > > I hate this too. Many people are fishing for fellow racists when they do this. One of my favorite responses is to tell people that I am ‘black’. I look like a ‘white’ guy, so it really messes them up. Other times when I hear the diatribes about ‘black’ people get all this special treatment and ‘white’ people get nothing, I’ll say “Wow! I wish I was black!”… That’s classic. Here’s a suggestion, though. Wait just long enough to be sure that what you have said has registered. Then add, with a puzzled look on your face, “- Don’t you?!” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![kushiel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/bbce88/32.png) [@kushiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kushiel)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2012, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-upsetting-when-other-whites-reveal-their-racism-to-me/616307/44 "2012-03-20T17:56:11Z")
> [@Leaffan](#): > > And on a similar note, I am an invisible immigrant. I take much secret pleasure when people start riffing about immigrants, and I get to respond with “I wasn’t born in Canada.” After much backpedaling and awkwardness they usually try to make excuses about the “type” of immigrants and “you know what I mean?” > > Umm, no. No, I don’t really. But but but you’re a European whitey, you don’t _count_! It’s those Pakis and negroes! I’m not even kidding, my mom still uses those. We call them Pakistanis and black people now, Mom. And most of the people you call Pakis don’t actually come from Pakistan. ---
**Author:** ![Normal\_Phase](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Normal\_Phase](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Normal_Phase)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2012, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-upsetting-when-other-whites-reveal-their-racism-to-me/616307/45 "2012-03-20T18:01:11Z")
Well gee, I was all about to come in here and say something obnoxious like “congratulations you noticed that people suck. Have a cookie”, having spent much of my morning reading stuff about people who have to deal with racism in much more significant ways than the OP. (Trayvon Martin’s family, if anyone cares.) But after the first response I fully endorse pitting Lonesome Polecat instead. Well done, you racist prick. Anyway, to the OP – yeah, that does kinda suck, even if it is par for the course. I recommend never ever allowing those people to take the least bit of validation off of you. No silence, no weak-sauce replies. They’ll hate you for it, but it’s better than giving them any further excuse to assume that every other white person out there is the unquestioned “us” to everyone else’s “them”. ---
**Author:** ![Bosstone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@Bosstone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosstone)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2012, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-upsetting-when-other-whites-reveal-their-racism-to-me/616307/46 "2012-03-20T18:02:19Z")
> [@Lightnin](#): > > It’s not this place. It’s just him. He’s an ass. It has been observed before on this board that no matter how uncontroversial a post you make, there will always be someone who will not only disagree but call you a jackass for it. Personally I think that’s just the Internet, but hey. ---
**Author:** ![davidm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/davidm/32/225_2.png) [@davidm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/davidm)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2012, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-upsetting-when-other-whites-reveal-their-racism-to-me/616307/47 "2012-03-20T18:31:41Z")
I’ve been following the Trayvon Martin story **Normal Phase** and no, I would never claim that my experience is anything remotely like his family’s. I’m not sure why you would even suggest it. That doesn’t mean that I can’t rant about less violent forms of racism when I see them. Stories like Trayvon’s is one of the reasons I rant about such things. Maybe if we were all less tolerant of the “milder” displays of racism, we might eventually have a society where the Trayvon Martin stories would happen a lot less often. ---
**Author:** ![davidm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/davidm/32/225_2.png) [@davidm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/davidm)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2012, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-upsetting-when-other-whites-reveal-their-racism-to-me/616307/48 "2012-03-20T18:32:46Z")
> [@Bosstone](#): > > It has been observed before on this board that no matter how uncontroversial a post you make, there will always be someone who will not only disagree but call you a jackass for it. > > Personally I think that’s just the Internet, but hey. Sez you, jackass! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![thirdwarning](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecccb3/32.png) [@thirdwarning](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thirdwarning)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2012, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-upsetting-when-other-whites-reveal-their-racism-to-me/616307/49 "2012-03-20T19:08:48Z")
> [@Ludovic](#): > > I for one am glad he clarified his remarks to mean only _some_ of the Dopers. After all, judging an entire group by the actions of a few would be prejudiced. I took it to mean, there’s one in every crowd. I don’t think it’s the internet. That just lets them be stupid to a larger audience. > [@](#): > > Stories like Trayvon’s is one of the reasons I rant about such things. Maybe if we were all less tolerant of the “milder” displays of racism, we might eventually have a society where the Trayvon Martin stories would happen a lot less often. This, exactly. It’s never going to be completely gone. We will always have the idiots and the hateful among us. But maybe stomping on some of the ‘milder’ incidents will prevent some of the worse ones, eventually. ---
**Author:** ![Normal\_Phase](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Normal\_Phase](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Normal_Phase)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2012, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-upsetting-when-other-whites-reveal-their-racism-to-me/616307/50 "2012-03-20T19:09:10Z")
Well that’s why I said it would have been a bit obnoxious. I don’t normally do things like that; I’m in a bad mood. Of course this is the pit. ---
**Author:** ![Hbns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/8edcca/32.png) [@Hbns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hbns)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2012, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-upsetting-when-other-whites-reveal-their-racism-to-me/616307/51 "2012-03-20T19:14:40Z")
> [@davidm](#): > > I’ve been following the Trayvon Martin story **Normal Phase** and no, I would never claim that my experience is anything remotely like his family’s. I’m not sure why you would even suggest it. That doesn’t mean that I can’t rant about less violent forms of racism when I see them. > > Stories like Trayvon’s is one of the reasons I rant about such things. Maybe if we were all less tolerant of the “milder” displays of racism, we might eventually have a society where the Trayvon Martin stories would happen a lot less often. This seems presumptuous. We don’t even know what the story is at this point other than a black teen (near adult) was shot by a mixed race man in a multiracial private development. Racism certainly seems like a likely explanation, but it isn’t the only one at this point. ---
**Author:** ![davidm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/davidm/32/225_2.png) [@davidm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/davidm)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2012, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-upsetting-when-other-whites-reveal-their-racism-to-me/616307/52 "2012-03-20T19:32:13Z")
We do know now that Trayvon was on the phone with a friend during part of the incident. > **[Trayvon Martin's Last Phone Call Triggers Demand for Arrest 'Right Now'](https://abcnews.go.com/US/trayvon-martin-death-friend-phone-teen-death-recounts/story?id=15959017)** > > A cell phone phone call from slain black teenager Trayvon Martin to his girlfriend seconds before he was fatally shot by self-appointed neighborhood watch captain George Zimmerman "blows Zimmerman's absurd self-defense claim out of the water," and... > [@](#): > > “He said this man was watching him, so he put his hoodie on. He said he lost the man,” Martin’s friend said. “I asked Trayvon to run, and he said he was going to walk fast. I told him to run but he said he was not going to run.” > > Eventually he would run, said the girl, thinking that he’d managed to escape. But suddenly the strange man was back, cornering Martin. > > “Trayvon said ‘what are you following me for,’ and the man said ‘what are you doing here.’ Next thing I hear is somebody pushing, and somebody pushed Trayvon because the head set just fell. I called him again and he didn’t answer the phone.” > > The line went dead. Besides screams heard on 911 calls that night as Martin and Zimmerman scuffled, those were the last words he said. The idea that Trayvon was threatening Zimmerman in any way just doesn’t fit with the facts. It’s also hard to explain why Zimmerman saw Trayvon as a threat other than because Trayvon was black. Sure, Zimmerman could just be a nut who might have picked any random adolescent, but that really seems to be a stretch. ---
**Author:** ![Enlightening\_Meditation](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ecc23a/32.png) [@Enlightening\_Meditation](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enlightening_Meditation)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2012, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-upsetting-when-other-whites-reveal-their-racism-to-me/616307/53 "2012-03-20T19:45:48Z")
The only period in my adult life where I commonly encountered blatant racism was one summer while working in a couple casual dining restaurants. Particularly at one, where I was a host, a few servers would demand that I not sit any ‘black people’ or ‘n\_\_ers’ in their seating sections. Also, ‘Canadians’ was a code term for minorities when customers were around. I later found out that this is somewhat common in the southeast USA among restaurant workers. I also once saw a really ugly racist moment in a casino poker room. A white fellow yelled at a black fellow at a table across the room from me. I heard terms such as ‘stupid monkey’, ‘n\_\_er’, and ‘somebody give this guy a banana’ yelled out. I gathered that the black fellow called a large bet and got lucky when the last card hit the table. I assume that the angry racist was removed by security, but I didn’t have a good view of the action. ---
**Author:** ![Normal\_Phase](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Normal\_Phase](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Normal_Phase)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2012, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-upsetting-when-other-whites-reveal-their-racism-to-me/616307/54 "2012-03-20T19:46:07Z")
> [@Hbns](#): > > This seems presumptuous. We don’t even know what the story is at this point other than a black teen (near adult) was shot by a mixed race man in a multiracial private development. > > Racism certainly seems like a likely explanation, but it isn’t the only one at this point. You should probably catch up on the current information, then. In particular, you might want to listen to the 911 call that Zimmerman made. Around about 2:20 into it, I believe. ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2012, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-upsetting-when-other-whites-reveal-their-racism-to-me/616307/55 "2012-03-20T19:54:07Z")
I hear similar comments all the time, mostly from my clients. I’m white, I have a very “white” (European) name, but I actually look Hispanic- so much so that I actually have been called a wetback and other fun things here and there. Hey, nobody expects a racist to be all that bright. Anyway, my clients tend to assume I’m white for the most part and you should hear the things they say. One guy was _convinced_ that the IRS was only coming after him because “Obama and his colored cronies found out” he had given money to the McCain campaign and, “they want to get back at whitey.” Seriously, he said that. I paused, smiled politely, and said, “Or it’s that you haven’t filed or paid your taxes in 15 years, sir. In fact, I’m willing to bet that’s the real reason.” All day, I get to hear about how “ILLEGALS!!!” are taking everybody’s jobs and not paying taxes. Or how Obama is trying to start a race war. Or that Obama is “President Monkey.” Good times. I’m thinking I should keep a photo of me and my black boyfriend on my desk, just so I can spare myself having to listen to this nonsense. Oh, and about my boyfriend? I’ve had people say things like, “No, he’s really handsome. Like, he’s not one of those. . . _whispers_ ghetto kind of black people, you know?” ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2012, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-upsetting-when-other-whites-reveal-their-racism-to-me/616307/56 "2012-03-20T19:59:23Z")
Here’s one I get fairly often and haven’t yet figured out how to deal with. “Those damn Indians in tech support! All of the companies are sending their tech support to India! It’s like, they say their name is Bob or whatever but you know they’re lying!” I’m like, do you really not have any idea that I am Indian? I’ve answered this with a variety of ways, depending on my mood. If they are genuinely venting about the service and not the people, I just let it slide. Sometimes later they find out I am Indian and I can almost see the :eek: in their face. Sometimes I’ll say, if I know I can get away with being a little snarky, “Hey, my family needs to eat, too!” And then they ask, and realize I am Indian. But I know it’s not a truly racist thing; they are just venting about the other. If it was being farmed out to Zimbabwe they’d say the same thing. ---
**Author:** ![magellan01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@magellan01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/magellan01)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2012, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-upsetting-when-other-whites-reveal-their-racism-to-me/616307/57 "2012-03-20T20:10:12Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > Here’s one I get fairly often and haven’t yet figured out how to deal with. > > “Those damn Indians in tech support! All of the companies are sending their tech support to India! It’s like, they say their name is Bob or whatever but you know they’re lying!” > > I’m like, do you really not have any idea that I am Indian? I’ve answered this with a variety of ways, depending on my mood. > > If they are genuinely venting about the service and not the people, I just let it slide. Sometimes later they find out I am Indian and I can almost see the :eek: in their face. > > Sometimes I’ll say, if I know I can get away with being a little snarky, “Hey, my family needs to eat, too!” And then they ask, and realize I am Indian. > > But I know it’s not a truly racist thing; they are just venting about the other. If it was being farmed out to Zimbabwe they’d say the same thing. I don’t think this is any strain of racism. It’s simply that it’s hard to understand people who have a thick Indian accent. I’ve had experiences—most—where the help is fine, but i’ve also had more than a few experiences where I have to struggle to understand and ask the guy or girl to repeat things a few times. And given that I’m usually calling tech support or customer support when I have a problem, it just makes it more frustrating. ---
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2012, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-upsetting-when-other-whites-reveal-their-racism-to-me/616307/58 "2012-03-20T20:52:10Z")
I was very startled when a co-worker talked about moving to Idaho… Where there aren’t so many Martians. I blinked stupidly, and she had to explain. “Green people. Get it?” I never spoke to her again (10% disgust, 90% because she moved to Idaho…) **davidm** : ouch. Not fun, having a new thread shit on in the first response. FWIW, I completely connect with your OP. I had another racist encounter, but it was a (white) sheep farmer from Zimbabwe-Rhodesia, and so not quite as surprising, I guess… ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2012, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-upsetting-when-other-whites-reveal-their-racism-to-me/616307/59 "2012-03-20T20:58:19Z")
> [@magellan01](#): > > I don’t think this is any strain of racism. It’s simply that it’s hard to understand people who have a thick Indian accent. I’ve had experiences—most—where the help is fine, but i’ve also had more than a few experiences where I have to struggle to understand and ask the guy or girl to repeat things a few times. And given that I’m usually calling tech support or customer support when I have a problem, it just makes it more frustrating. That is not a personal or moral problem. But really, it’s not the “They have a thick accent” bitch that bothers me. That at least is understandable. It’s the bitch that a) we are sending tech support to India at all and b) they lie about their names and c) there are all Indians in tech support. a) not the employees’ fault; as I said, they need to eat, too. b) not the employees’ fault; company makes them lie. c) maybe the employees’ fault, but tech and IT is a burgeoning industry that has decent white-collar money in India, so i can’t really blame them for it. ---
**Author:** ![Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b38774/32.png) [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Attack_from_the_3rd_dimension)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2012, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-upsetting-when-other-whites-reveal-their-racism-to-me/616307/60 "2012-03-20T21:19:31Z")
> [@Leaffan](#): > > And on a similar note, I am an invisible immigrant. I take much secret pleasure when people start riffing about immigrants, and I get to respond with “I wasn’t born in Canada.” After much backpedaling and awkwardness they usually try to make excuses about the “type” of immigrants and “you know what I mean?” > > Umm, no. No, I don’t really. Ha! Me too - I am also an invisible immigrant to Canada, and I do the same thing whenever anybody starts to go off on immigrants. Where you from? If it’s the American South we need go out for a beer. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-upsetting-when-other-whites-reveal-their-racism-to-me/616307.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-upsetting-when-other-whites-reveal-their-racism-to-me/616307.md?page=4)