# I've been enjoying my scrambled eggs wrong. **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [June 12, 2016, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-been-enjoying-my-scrambled-eggs-wrong/757201 "2016-06-12T18:02:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2016, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-been-enjoying-my-scrambled-eggs-wrong/757201/21 "2016-06-12T20:47:01Z")
I scramble slow, just salt and pepper (or no pepper if I’m feeding my kids, who don’t know a good thing when they eat it). Butter or bacon grease or sausage grease; the last is my favorite. That and a buttermilk biscuit is the breakfast of fat champions. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2016, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-been-enjoying-my-scrambled-eggs-wrong/757201/22 "2016-06-12T21:15:56Z")
> [@Biggirl](#): > > According to the experts over at The Food Network, perfectly scrambled eggs are a thin-ish sheet of uniform yellowness. Now, a thin-ish sheet of uniform yellowness is not offensive-- unlike my sister-in-law’s favored soft, globby mess of wetness with whites plainly visible. > > My idea of perfect scrambled eggs are firm and curd-like with a touch of brown along the edges and where the curds last touched the pan. > > For mix-ins I prefer sauteed chopped onions and/or garlic. Mushrooms are also quite tasty. And I will not complain if there is a slice of American cheese melted across the top. Cheddar will do also. You Are a Valkyrie from Valhalla and I bow to your delicious breakfast food. If you should ever get bored, however, mix your recipe fully and raw into a bowl with a table spoon of Worcestershire Sauce. After mixing again, wrap paper towels around the bowl (across the top, of course). Proceed to microwave the dish for 2 min per egg. After, spoon all the cooked food out onto a plate. Fold on strips of one individual slice of cheese across the top. (Dashes of hot sauce or Habanero strips under the cheese for heat) Microwave for 30 seconds more (or until you see the cheese melt). You’ll want a cold drink with this; if its OJ, use a tall glass & ice cubes. ---
**Author:** ![Enter\_the\_Flagon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Enter\_the\_Flagon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enter_the_Flagon)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2016, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-been-enjoying-my-scrambled-eggs-wrong/757201/23 "2016-06-12T21:25:31Z")
> [@Biggirl](#): > > According to the experts over at The Food Network, perfectly scrambled eggs are a thin-ish sheet of uniform yellowness. Now, a thin-ish sheet of uniform yellowness is not offensive-- unlike my sister-in-law’s favored soft, globby mess of wetness with whites plainly visible. > > My idea of perfect scrambled eggs are firm and curd-like with a touch of brown along the edges and where the curds last touched the pan. > > For mix-ins I prefer sauteed chopped onions and/or garlic. Mushrooms are also quite tasty. And I will not complain if there is a slice of American cheese melted across the top. Cheddar will do also. Now I’m actually sorry I only had corned beef hash for breakfast. And I love corned beef hash. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2016, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-been-enjoying-my-scrambled-eggs-wrong/757201/24 "2016-06-12T21:46:12Z")
> [@Count\_Blucher](#): > > You’ll want a cold drink with this; if its OJ, use a tall glass & ice cubes. Ideally the orange juice should start the morning inside some oranges, not in a carton or bottle. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2016, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-been-enjoying-my-scrambled-eggs-wrong/757201/25 "2016-06-12T21:47:35Z")
> [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](#): > > Sour cream. I’ll have to give that a try. ---
**Author:** ![foolsguinea](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foolsguinea/32/14751_2.png) [@foolsguinea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/foolsguinea)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2016, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-been-enjoying-my-scrambled-eggs-wrong/757201/26 "2016-06-12T22:13:02Z")
> [@Biggirl](#): > > According to the experts over at The Food Network, perfectly scrambled eggs are a thin-ish sheet of uniform yellowness. That’s an _omelet._ ---
**Author:** ![Doug\_K](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b5ac83/32.png) [@Doug\_K](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doug_K)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2016, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-been-enjoying-my-scrambled-eggs-wrong/757201/27 "2016-06-12T22:13:09Z")
> [@kanicbird](#): > > Once you mix stuff in, such as onions, you now have a scrambler, and no longer should be calling it scrambles eggs. > > If it’s thin and flat, it’s an omelet, just without the stuffing. > > Scrambles eggs should be broken egg pieces, mostly with some white/yellow differentiation, actually that is the classic way as it is scrambled in the pan, not in a bowl ahead of time. > > If it’s a consistent color, that is not scrambled eggs anymore, it’s premixed ‘carton egg product’ style eggs. For that matter they cease to be scrambled eggs if you add milk. Scrambled eggs is a single ingredient dish. Salt or pepper is fine, but ONLY if added by the diner at the table. They should never be cooked in, or added by anyone other than the consumer of said eggs. That’s not to say you can’t make a tasty dish by mixing eggs with other things. You just need to understand that it won’t be scrambled eggs. ---
**Author:** ![enipla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/54ee81/32.png) [@enipla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enipla)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2016, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-been-enjoying-my-scrambled-eggs-wrong/757201/28 "2016-06-12T22:13:49Z")
> [@FairyChatMom](#): > > Will I be mocked and ridiculed if I admit to “scrambling” my eggs in the microwave? It’s my quick and easy breakfast - while the toast is toasting, I whip up the eggs and milk in a bowl, then zap it for 45 seconds. By then, the toast is ready to be buttered, with a slice of provolone on one side. If needed, the eggs get another 10 seconds, then the perfectly round mass is slid on top of the cheese, lightly salted, and topped with the buttered bread. > > Yum! Not mocked at all. Except you’re doing it wrong. 😉 First, zap some frozen tator tots in a tuperware. This is your carbs and oil for the egg. Add egg, and 'lil smokies sausages. Microwave as desired. Works great to cook about half way, and then finish cooking at work. Bingo. ---
**Author:** ![Wallaby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/dc4da7/32.png) [@Wallaby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wallaby)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2016, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-been-enjoying-my-scrambled-eggs-wrong/757201/29 "2016-06-12T22:59:36Z")
> [@Biggirl](#): > > For mix-ins I prefer sauteed chopped onions and/or garlic. Mushrooms are also quite tasty. And I will not complain if there is a slice of American cheese melted across the top. Cheddar will do also. There is one problem with mushrooms. If you like a light, fluffy scrambled egg (like I do), you use some milk (sorry to the food pedants, but it’s just breakfast, OK?). Well, some mushrooms turn the resulting concoction grey. That’s right, you are now eating grey fluff. It tastes absolutely wonderful, but your mind is cast back to all that asbestos insulation from your primary school. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2016, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-been-enjoying-my-scrambled-eggs-wrong/757201/30 "2016-06-12T23:15:11Z")
> [@foolsguinea](#): > > That’s an _omelet._ I thought in order to qualify as an omelet, you had to beat some air into the eggs so they would puff up during the cooking. If they’re a thin sheet, they’re not an omelet. ---
**Author:** ![samclem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a9a28c/32.png) [@samclem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samclem)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2016, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-been-enjoying-my-scrambled-eggs-wrong/757201/31 "2016-06-13T02:02:34Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > I thought in order to qualify as an omelet, you had to beat some air into the eggs so they would puff up during the cooking. If they’re a thin sheet, they’re not an omelet. Many many restaurants and people think that an omelet is flat. You and I disagree with them. ---
**Author:** ![movingfinger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@movingfinger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/movingfinger)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2016, 5:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-been-enjoying-my-scrambled-eggs-wrong/757201/32 "2016-06-13T05:34:59Z")
Mix in some white wine instead of milk or water. Try chopped green chiles. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2016, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-been-enjoying-my-scrambled-eggs-wrong/757201/33 "2016-06-13T15:09:15Z")
I do scrambled eggs any of a number of ways. Typically, I usually either go the “pan scrambled” method (this is what I learned from watching my Polish father and mother scramble eggs growing up), or a high-heat French omelet sort of method. With pan scrambled eggs, I preheat the pan to medium heat, crack in a couple eggs, and lightly scramble them in the pan, leaving bits of white and yellow, so it’s not a homogenous mass. The other method I use is to heat to medium-high heat, add oil, wait for it to shimmer. Meanwhile, I crack two eggs in a bowl with some salt and pepper, and then whisk them until they’re uniformly yellow. Throw in pan, move the eggs around a bit as the bottom layer sets, and remove when done quickly to serve on a plate. Takes about 45 seconds. This is similar to making a classic French omelet or country style omelet, but the eggs are scrambled. (With a classic French omelet, you shake the pan and swirl the eggs, but let them settle into a pancake type mass before folding them over into its distinct shape. Country style is similar but you pull back the eggs from the sides as they cook and tilt the pan so the uncooked eggs get into the spaces left behind.) ---
**Author:** ![August\_West](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/august_west/32/18069_2.png) [@August\_West](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/August_West)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2016, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-been-enjoying-my-scrambled-eggs-wrong/757201/34 "2016-06-13T16:14:26Z")
Scramble in the pan, add the milk or cream at the end to stop the cooking process. I learned that from Julia Child, who learned it at Le Cordon Bleu. Come at me. ---
**Author:** ![OffByOne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/45deac/32.png) [@OffByOne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OffByOne)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2016, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-been-enjoying-my-scrambled-eggs-wrong/757201/35 "2016-06-13T16:22:01Z")
Here’s how I was trained to cook scrambled eggs (I also learned how to cook over easy, over hard, sunny-side up, and coddled, but those require a flat griddle; I can cook scrambled eggs in a frying pan): Two medium eggs, broken into a bowl, with about 2 tablespoons of whole milk. A tablespoon of butter in a warm (NOT hot! I use 4/10 on my electric stove)) frying pan, melting while I whip the eggs. Once they start to froth, I pour the whole bowl into the frying pan. The next step is important: leave them eggs alone! You can stir and stir the eggs while they cook, but in my experience, when cooked that way, they come out in tiny bits that are best eaten with a spoon. After a minute or so (I usually slice a tomato, plus a few other tasks while I wait), I stir the eggs, just to get a feel for how done they are. Once I am convinced that they are thoroughly cooked, I use a soft spatula/scraper to plate them. ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba9def/32.png) [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Asking_Questions)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2016, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-been-enjoying-my-scrambled-eggs-wrong/757201/36 "2016-06-13T16:32:08Z")
I know people like different things; that’s fine. But if I came to some of you folk’s house for breakfast, asked for scrambled eggs, and was served some of these concoctions, I’d, well…I’d be polite. But they aren’t scrambled eggs! Mushrooms? Onions? Sausage? Olives? _Wine_? If I wanted an omelet, I would have asked for one. 🙂 Scrambled eggs are just eggs cooked so they are fluffy chunks. No water, no milk, no nuttin’. Simplicity. ETA: **OffByOne** , I use no milk, but I constantly stir mine. They make medium chunks more than spoon chunks, but otherwise I am in agreement. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2016, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-been-enjoying-my-scrambled-eggs-wrong/757201/37 "2016-06-13T16:43:59Z")
> [@foolsguinea](#): > > That’s an _omelet._ > [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > I thought in order to qualify as an omelet, you had to beat some air into the eggs so they would puff up during the cooking. If they’re a thin sheet, they’re not an omelet. > [@samclem](#): > > Many many restaurants and people think that an omelet is flat. You and I disagree with them. I believe the proper term is “loose omelet”. ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2016, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-been-enjoying-my-scrambled-eggs-wrong/757201/38 "2016-06-13T16:51:50Z")
I like to crack the egg into a cup, give it a few good whisks with a fork and toss it into a greased hot pan for a minute or two. I find that low heat and long cooking times draws the water out of the eggs and then I have to overcook them if they’re going to be firm. So I do hot and short and I think they end up looking and tasting pretty good. Usually when I do scrambled eggs, I’m making breakfast sandwiches so I pour the egg into a greased mason jar lid ring so that the egg makes a nice circular patty. ---
**Author:** ![swampspruce](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampspruce/32/261_2.png) [@swampspruce](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampspruce)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2016, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-been-enjoying-my-scrambled-eggs-wrong/757201/39 "2016-06-13T17:04:42Z")
I follow the directions I found in [Pop Mech](http://www.popularmechanics.com/home/how-to/a11062/how-to-make-eggs-17087598/) and they turn out the best omelettes and scrambled eggs I’ve ever had/made. ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2016, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-been-enjoying-my-scrambled-eggs-wrong/757201/40 "2016-06-13T17:14:57Z")
Screw the Food Network. The proper way to enjoy scrambled eggs, or any other food, is the way _YOU_ like it. That annoys me as much as the stuff I see in Facebook or liked to by the Fox News website, “15 doohickeys you should never umptysquat…” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-been-enjoying-my-scrambled-eggs-wrong/757201.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-been-enjoying-my-scrambled-eggs-wrong/757201.md?page=3)