Thanks again for all of your support. I wish I was I could be confident that my mom was going to come around as some of you seem to be. I think it will be easier now that my siblings are aware of the issue with Dorothea fomenting bad feelings towards me. I think that they will take up my cause. And I appreciate it.
I do agree with what AuntiePam said that Mom needs to be assured that her parenting was good. Those assurances have to come from others. It doesn’t mean anything from me right now.
In the omitted “blow-by-blow” and “long conversation” Mom said things that were pretty hurtful —hurtful in that they would damage an immature teenager sort of way —not anything a rational, grown man couldn’t absorb and counter without malice. But I have no idea how long it will take for Mom to come around (if at all, though I believe she will).
The “I would have never allowed you to build on the property if . . .” is mighty close to “I love you conditionally”. I know it’s nuanced. It’s not the same, but it is hurtful. She didn’t want my sis to invite her bro-in-law last summer because he was going to bring his girlfriend. So Mom is very loving but does enamored with hate-mongerers like Hagee and Robertson.
"God put Adam and Eve in the garden. . . " is easy. "God said be fruitful and multiply; two men can’t multiply " —easy too. Of course I mentioned that there were over 6 billion people on the planet and that I didn’t think human beings were having a problem with multiplying. I asked her, “Do you think that your value is in the fact that you had children?”
She said, “No”. That was the end of that part of the discussion. I don’t know if she merely understood where the conversation was going and felt out-played, or if she accepted what was being said. If she is going to acquiesce that a human’s worth is not tied to the number of babies they’ve been partially responsible for, how can I dispel any irrational feelings she might have?
Also, some things she says just makes me sad. Don’t hold me to the math here, but, she’s only had sex with my Dad??? He’s been dead for almost 30 years! How horrible. Sex is crazy, stupid, comical, and----UTTERLY ENJOYABLE. I hate that her literal (but not really) interpretation of the Bible would deprive her of something so nice. —I’ve watched straight porn too —y’all’s is crazy, stupid, funny too.
She did say she loved me. I believe it. That might be enough. Maybe she’ll come around sooner than later. It sure would be a pain to move. (No I didn’t tell her that I was sorry that she hadn’t had sex in 30 years).
ETA: I meant to say that although I may not have mentioned it, I have used plenty of the things that y’all have suggested, for instance when she said “I don’t condone the lifestyle. . .” I countered with "what do you think the lifestyle is? We sleep, we get up, we eat —it’s not much different than yours. . . "
) makes an eloquent argument in favor of the normalcy of same-gender couples.
