I don’t hate you. I think you need a hug.
I’ve been here for nine years, too. I’ve got a few friends, but I seem to be mostly under the radar. It’s never “I pit Robot Arm for being a douche”, “Robot Arm, where have your been”, “Robot Arm, I want to have your children.” Nope.
I barely register on anybody’s radar. Unless I say something stupidly and unexpectedly provocative, though two weeks later I’m forgotten again.
In the early days, when the feel of the board was more social than it is now, I made a few friends on the SDMB. All of them have gone on to pastures new, I don’t know where to, but I still remain. I’m sure many of the long serving crowd recognise my name in passing, but that’s about the extent of it.
I went to a dopefest and met some of the members and had a blast. Not really friends with any of them though.
Who wants to be friends with someone that runs with scissors. It’s not safe 
Sure, been here ten years and I’ve never met a Doper IRL or forged any sort of important online relationship. Leaffan and I have exhanged a few emails on professional matters.
I mean, it’s just a message board. I expend my real life friend efforts on my real life friends.
I feel like I’m in the same boat, SHAKES. I’ve been active here for 8 years. I’ve got thousands of posts, and I don’t really think of anyone as a friend. Never really have any interest in going to a dopefest, since I can’t think of anyone I’d particularly like to meet.
I still like this place, but it’s more because of the group than any individual.
Were they all from Rand Rover?
I had a futile crush on Swiddles once.
Yeah, I don’t really have Doper friends.
No, wait, I have four marked as “friends” on the board; I forgot about that function. I’m not sure who they all are exactly. Hi, friends.
So this wouldn’t be the right thread to mention that I’m having lunch with olivesmarch4th and her husband today?
I like to separate Dopers into “would bang” and “would bang twice”.
I’ve been a lurker mostly from Day One. Have posted on and off, sharing my brilliant insight and witty anecdotes off and on with little response. Don’t have much interest in contributing to the hundreds of responses to questions about the anus or the boobs, where the real bonding seems to take place! Oh, and I have a rare talent for killing threads stone dead! 
I don’t look for ‘friends’, though am pleased once in a blue moon when my comment gets a response, and just enjoy flailing away sticking in my two cents. As I am going through a really stressful time, it’s rather soothing to pass some time here, to divert my thoughts from my situation.
Didn’t we all.
What’s a Swiddles?
A prolific poster in ages past.
Robot Arm, I’ve always liked you.
I’ve been posting for 2-3 years, probably. I’ve met 20+ Dopers at Dopefests since then, and liked them all, could probably be good friends with several. Hell, I even met a couple guys in Ireland, they bought me a Guinness or two, and we had a great conversation for hours. But they’re not my “friends” on here. Not because they’re not great people, just because to me, I’ve got enough going on-enough friends, family, work to keep me busy, and I don’t think that I would have the time and energy to get a new friendship up and running.
I have two “friends” on here, one happened because it was the only way I could talk to him privately, the other was a TK. Haven’t PM’ed or emailed either of them for at least a year I’d 'spose. Haven’t seen either on here for a while, but it wouldn’t occur to me to email them to see where they’ve been.
I did PM a lot of people when we were having the great Ed/Domebo/GB schism, but that was more informational than “friends” and was typically only one generic type PM.
A lot of Dopers seem to have social issues, and it seems like I would be invading their ‘bubble’ to try to initiate any kind of friendship, even if I had the time. So it all works out I guess.
But I have no doubt that there are a lot of people on here that would love to become friends with each other, and some end up doing just that.
If you started going to Dopefests, things would change. I’ve met all sorts of reprobates and retards at said fests, and I am proud to claim most of them as friends.
You care.
SHAKES, I sent you a friend request. You don’t have to OK it, cause, like, it might be awkward, after this thread and all, but I just wanted you to have one.
Aside from being a poster not a lurker, I’m with you (hey, maybe we should be BFFs!). I kill threads. I don’t get many of the jokes. I can rarely remember people’s usernames and, therefore, their reputations. (Hmm, maybe that’s better.) I’d feel weird meeting a Doper in real life, or even divulging too much personal information on the boards. I guess I’m just old-fashioned.