# I've been searching for a long time ... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 5, 2014, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-been-searching-for-a-long-time/677953 "2014-01-05T16:54:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![StGermain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stgermain/32/2868_2.png) [@StGermain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StGermain)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2014, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-been-searching-for-a-long-time/677953/21 "2014-01-05T23:22:23Z")
Some subjects to stay away from (at first at least): Declawing cats, tipping, and…nope, that about does it. Welcome to the SDMB. Use spellcheck and punctuation, be as tolerant as you’d like others to be. Mentally count to 10 before hitting “Post reply”. It’s easier to delete ill-considered posts before they’re actually made. StG ---
**Author:** ![Morgyn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morgyn/32/3041_2.png) [@Morgyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgyn)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2014, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-been-searching-for-a-long-time/677953/22 "2014-01-05T23:27:55Z")
A very important rule is that if you post about your pets, you \*must \*include a link to pictures of the pets. ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2014, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-been-searching-for-a-long-time/677953/23 "2014-01-05T23:33:32Z")
> [@StGermain](#): > > Some subjects to stay away from (at first at least): Declawing cats, tipping, and…nope, that about does it. One more: wearing shoes in the house. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2014, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-been-searching-for-a-long-time/677953/24 "2014-01-05T23:52:33Z")
Welcome aboard. Like any family, we have our quirks and a few unpleasant relations, but this is by far the best general-interest message board I’ve run into. Hope to see you around the forums. > [@StGermain](#): > > Some subjects to stay away from (at first at least): Declawing cats, tipping, and…nope, that about does it. You forgot circumcision. Or maybe that’s covered under “tipping.” ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2014, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-been-searching-for-a-long-time/677953/25 "2014-01-06T00:03:20Z")
> [@Spoons](#): > > One more: wearing shoes in the house. And calling people FAT. Plenty of fat people on this board who are very sensitive. 😛 For example: “that fat bitch” will probably generate about 50 angry responses. ---
**Author:** ![citizenzen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a8b319/32.png) [@citizenzen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/citizenzen)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2014, 5:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-been-searching-for-a-long-time/677953/26 "2014-01-06T05:35:52Z")
Wow. So many thoughtful responses. That’s been one thing I’ve noticed about this forum, it’s active. I hate posting a thought and waiting three days for a response. That doesn’t look like that will be an issue here. > [@StGermain](#): > > Some subjects to stay away from (at first at least): Declawing cats, tipping, and…nope, that about does it. Declawing cats? Horrible. The seven cats we have living indoors, one adopted cat living in the garage and three former feral cats living in large well-appointed outdoor enclosures would not approve. > [@Spoons](#): > > One more: wearing shoes in the house. We are a strictly shoeless home. If you need slippers, they can be provided. ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2014, 7:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-been-searching-for-a-long-time/677953/27 "2014-01-06T07:52:00Z")
> [@StGermain](#): > > Some subjects to stay away from (at first at least): Declawing cats, tipping, and…nope, that about does it. Oh, and in threads where the wimmen-folk discuss certain intimate wimmenly medical or hygiene matters, _don’t_ ask to see pics. ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2014, 7:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-been-searching-for-a-long-time/677953/28 "2014-01-06T07:59:19Z")
Welcome, hope you’ll stick around! We always enjoy when newcomers arrive! We might not always agree, but more points of view always seems to improve discussions and lead to livelier debates. ---
**Author:** ![drewtwo99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@drewtwo99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewtwo99)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2014, 9:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-been-searching-for-a-long-time/677953/29 "2014-01-06T09:57:19Z")
Wow you’ve already managed to piss off a bunch of people (including me) who think that declawing cats is a perfectly wonderful thing to do. Welcome!!! (sincerely, welcome) ---
**Author:** ![Morgyn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morgyn/32/3041_2.png) [@Morgyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgyn)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2014, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-been-searching-for-a-long-time/677953/30 "2014-01-06T13:46:50Z")
> [@citizenzen](#): > > The seven cats we have living indoors, one adopted cat living in the garage and three former feral cats living in large well-appointed outdoor enclosures would not approve. Did you miss the part about having to post links to pictures if you mention your pets? Hmmm? \ ---
**Author:** ![citizenzen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a8b319/32.png) [@citizenzen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/citizenzen)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2014, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-been-searching-for-a-long-time/677953/31 "2014-01-06T15:37:14Z")
> [@Morgyn](#): > > Did you miss the part about having to post links to pictures if you mention your pets? Hmmm? > > \ Oops. My bad. Here’s two of the indoor seven. These two brothers were part of a litter of four that my wife rescued off the street in the old section of town. Taboo is on the left and Loki is on the right. [http://www.citizenzen.com/images/cats.jpg](http://www.citizenzen.com/images/cats.jpg) Hmmm … not seeing how to display photos directly. Hopefully a link will suffice. ---
**Author:** ![ISiddiqui](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/97f17d/32.png) [@ISiddiqui](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ISiddiqui)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2014, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-been-searching-for-a-long-time/677953/32 "2014-01-06T16:30:51Z")
> [@Dallas\_Jones](#): > > Avoid The Pit, stay out of Great Debates and Elections, and you may find this place to be an amusing distraction, as I do. This is good advice. People are considerate and thoughtful in the other areas (and I have the most fun in those areas). However, people can be downright MEAN in Great Debates, and have problem with piling on or being overly snarky and patronizing - I only go in there rarely (esp since I’m a religious believer… that’s just like putting a target on your back there). The Pit is where people can unload on each other, but I often find that it is a place where the posters take delight in completely dressing down the OP writer and assuming they are a horrible person only a step removed from an animal torturer. ---
**Author:** ![ISiddiqui](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/97f17d/32.png) [@ISiddiqui](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ISiddiqui)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2014, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-been-searching-for-a-long-time/677953/33 "2014-01-06T16:41:00Z")
Apparently I’m noticing the “OP is a horrible human being and must be destroyed for his/her feelings” isn’t mutually exclusive to The Pit. Perhaps that’s where I first noticed it, so maybe I was too harsh to The Pit there. ---
**Author:** ![Morgyn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morgyn/32/3041_2.png) [@Morgyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgyn)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2014, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-been-searching-for-a-long-time/677953/34 "2014-01-06T18:19:03Z")
> [@citizenzen](#): > > Oops. My bad. Here’s two of the indoor seven. These two brothers were part of a litter of four that my wife rescued off the street in the old section of town. > > Taboo is on the left and Loki is on the right. > > [http://www.citizenzen.com/images/cats.jpg](http://www.citizenzen.com/images/cats.jpg) > > Hmmm … not seeing how to display photos directly. Hopefully a link will suffice. Links are all you can post, actually. The Dope doesn’t allow embedded pictures or avatars or the like. Your boys are GORGEOUS. I can’t wait to see the rest of them. 🙂 I like the names, too. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2014, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-been-searching-for-a-long-time/677953/35 "2014-01-06T18:23:56Z")
> [@StGermain](#): > > \ It’s easier to delete ill-considered posts before they’re actually made. > > StG Apologies if you post rashly and regret it later are also acceptable (probably not a good idea to make that your daily M.O., but we all have our pissy moments). > [@citizenzen](#): > > Oops. My bad. Here’s two of the indoor seven. These two brothers were part of a litter of four that my wife rescued off the street in the old section of town. > > Taboo is on the left and Loki is on the right. > > [http://www.citizenzen.com/images/cats.jpg](http://www.citizenzen.com/images/cats.jpg) > > Hmmm … not seeing how to display photos directly. Hopefully a link will suffice. We can’t display photos here directly because _some_ people are stuffy old farts who are living in 1985, but I digress - nice kitties. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2014, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-been-searching-for-a-long-time/677953/36 "2014-01-06T23:14:24Z")
> [@ISiddiqui](#): > > Apparently I’m noticing the “OP is a horrible human being and must be destroyed for his/her feelings” isn’t mutually exclusive to The Pit. Perhaps that’s where I first noticed it, so maybe I was too harsh to The Pit there. Here’s the thing about people on a message board; You have no idea who these people are, and you really have no reason to care that deeply how they feel about you. That person calling you the worst human being to ever exist (worse than Hitler, Stalin and Genghis Khan all rolled together) could be some meth smoking, small animal torturing child of the kid with the banjo from _Deliverance_ and his own mother. You will likely never meet that person ever in your life\*, and they’re almost certainly never going to be in a position of authority over you. Now, that being said, the vast majority of people on this board are none of those things, and if a number of people are telling you that you’re wrong, and you need to change the way you think, you should probably at least consider changing the way you think. The best way to go about that would be with self-honesty and no ego\*\*. If, ultimately, you still believe/think/feel what you did at the start of the conversation, then by all means, do so. Just be honest with yourself about WHY you believe/think/feel that way. (Always cool to learn about yourself along the way by doing so.) Penultimately, the best defense is… _Silence_. You don’t need to defend your every opinion (as long as it is presented as an opinion and not fact), you don’t have to justify your existence, or necessarily, they way you think or feel. If someone, or a group of people, is attacking you on a personal level, your best course is to ignore it. (Responding in kind opens you to warnings! Want to be banned for insulting someone who got personal with you? Hope you don’t.) Of course, as long as that ‘ignore’ thing isn’t ignoring rebuttals, opposing facts and citations. If you to that, you will quickly lose all credibility. If you do it persistently, you’ll get a reputation as an idiot and a troll. And finally, get into the spirit of the pit when you visit. Swear a lot. Yell at clouds. - Unless you go to a Dopefest. I’ve been to two of them. Never seen people fight or make a fuss at each other. Although I do remember that at least one person refused to attend the first one because they thought another person (who didn’t show) would be there. \*\* Admitting that you are wrong doesn’t actually hurt, and most people don’t think less of you for doing so, they actually think better of you. ---
**Author:** ![Balance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Balance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balance)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2014, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-been-searching-for-a-long-time/677953/37 "2014-01-06T23:33:40Z")
> [@citizenzen](#): > > That’s been one thing I’ve noticed about this forum, it’s active. I hate posting a thought and waiting three days for a response. That doesn’t look like that will be an issue here. It’s a positive aspect of the competitive streak many Dopers have. Being the first to supply a good answer (or a bad joke) is satisfying, so they tend to check for new posts pretty often. It makes for fairly lively discussion and lots of “ninja” laments. ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2014, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-been-searching-for-a-long-time/677953/38 "2014-01-07T01:07:09Z")
> [@citizenzen](#): > > . . . The seven cats we have living indoors, one adopted cat living in the garage and three former feral cats living in large well-appointed outdoor enclosures would not approve. . . . Oh, you’ll fit in just fine. ---
**Author:** ![Sicks\_Ate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Sicks\_Ate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sicks_Ate)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2014, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-been-searching-for-a-long-time/677953/39 "2014-01-07T01:18:36Z")
You’re one up on me in the sense that this was the first forum I ever really visited. Imagine my disappointment when I tried to check out other ones holding the expectations I learned here 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Ken001](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/43a26b/32.png) [@Ken001](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ken001)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2014, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-been-searching-for-a-long-time/677953/40 "2014-01-07T01:34:29Z")
Nah, naff off Citizenzen. No room here. …ok, maybe a little room… 😃 And Loki looks like he has some Burmese in him. Lovely. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-been-searching-for-a-long-time/677953.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-been-searching-for-a-long-time/677953.md?page=3)