# I've been trying to think up funn fortune cookie fortunes **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 9, 2009, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-been-trying-to-think-up-funn-fortune-cookie-fortunes/502455 "2009-07-09T14:45:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![palindromemordnilap](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/db5fbb/32.png) [@palindromemordnilap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/palindromemordnilap)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2009, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-been-trying-to-think-up-funn-fortune-cookie-fortunes/502455/41 "2009-07-13T16:25:42Z")
404 Error - Fortune Not Found ---
**Author:** ![Drain\_Bead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e47774/32.png) [@Drain\_Bead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drain_Bead)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2009, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-been-trying-to-think-up-funn-fortune-cookie-fortunes/502455/42 "2009-07-13T17:50:46Z")
> [@berff](#): > > I brought some “misfortune” cookies I made to a pot-luck at work a few years ago. I can’t remember them all offhand but one of the cookies I made was slightly larger than all the others so I inserted the fortune “You just had to take the biggest one, didn’t you? You fat pig”. I heard an interview with the guy who makes the ones you can buy. My favorite example he gave was “You’re no Jack Kennedy.” ---
**Author:** ![malibu400](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/848f3c/32.png) [@malibu400](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/malibu400)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2009, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-been-trying-to-think-up-funn-fortune-cookie-fortunes/502455/43 "2009-07-13T18:01:11Z")
I made fortune cookies for my friends birthday a few years ago. When he recieved them they were in this beautiful box- all nicely presented and such. Inside the fortune cookies though were fortunes such as “We will get you when you’re sleeping” and “No one loves you”. The funniest thing was that his younger sister stole one of the fortune cookies from him and when she opened it, it read “We’re watching you when you shower”. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Ponderoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponderoid/32/19221_2.png) [@Ponderoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponderoid)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2009, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-been-trying-to-think-up-funn-fortune-cookie-fortunes/502455/44 "2009-07-13T18:01:37Z")
[Translate server error](http://boingboing.net/2008/07/15/chinese-restaurant-c.html) ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2009, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-been-trying-to-think-up-funn-fortune-cookie-fortunes/502455/45 "2009-07-13T18:07:22Z")
> [@Shot\_From\_Guns](#): > > Pssssst… fortune cookies come with _ **Chinese** _ food. > > Also, I’m unfamiliar with the construction 直す会う–I get them separately, but they must mean something idiomatic in combination. Given the amount of fusion that goes on at restaurants in T.O. these days, that’s not a given. I regularly get fortune cookies with non-Chinese food. > [@Shot\_From\_Guns](#): > > I was assuming \*\*Sunspace \*\*just left out the noun accidentally. I’m more interested in 直す会う. Of course, I won’t mention that I was just typing _romaji_ randomly and hoping they’d hook up into _kanji_, because I know even less about Chinese than I do about Japanese. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2009, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-been-trying-to-think-up-funn-fortune-cookie-fortunes/502455/46 "2009-07-13T18:30:15Z")
Dammit, **Sunspace** , you just ruined my anticipation about learning a new idiomatic phrase. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2009, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-been-trying-to-think-up-funn-fortune-cookie-fortunes/502455/47 "2009-07-13T18:56:07Z")
I accidentally Chinese characters! ---
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2009, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-been-trying-to-think-up-funn-fortune-cookie-fortunes/502455/48 "2009-07-13T19:05:44Z")
> [@Ponderoid](#): > > [Translate server error](http://boingboing.net/2008/07/15/chinese-restaurant-c.html) If that is real, it is _awesome_. ---
**Author:** ![ajdebosco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecd19e/32.png) [@ajdebosco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ajdebosco)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2009, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-been-trying-to-think-up-funn-fortune-cookie-fortunes/502455/49 "2009-07-13T19:31:33Z")
“Geese are Troublesome.” ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2009, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-been-trying-to-think-up-funn-fortune-cookie-fortunes/502455/50 "2009-07-13T19:58:58Z")
Your parking permit expires in 東 minutes. Congratulations! You have just won an all-expenses-paid holiday in beautiful British Honduras! Please do not look under the table. This will soon be a learning experience. ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2009, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-been-trying-to-think-up-funn-fortune-cookie-fortunes/502455/51 "2009-07-13T21:07:30Z")
Oh east, you’ve done so well for yourself! Now, you’re not only a direction: you’re also a measure of time! ---
**Author:** ![kapntoad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/82dd89/32.png) [@kapntoad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kapntoad)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2009, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-been-trying-to-think-up-funn-fortune-cookie-fortunes/502455/52 "2009-07-13T22:20:20Z")
“Knock, knock.” How about finding an ATM slip in the cookie instead of a fortune? I once found “Don’t waste time worrying about the future”, which struck me as pretty ominous. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2009, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-been-trying-to-think-up-funn-fortune-cookie-fortunes/502455/53 "2009-07-14T00:07:25Z")
> [@Shot\_From\_Guns](#): > > Oh east, you’ve done so well for yourself! Now, you’re not only a direction: you’re also a measure of time! It has sometimes been said that numbers do not behave the same in restaurants as they do in the rest of the universe. Well, this is also true of directions. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to get home before 北 o’clock to take a phone call from the past. :: snap :: :: read :: Now, what does this fortune cookie mean? ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2009, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-been-trying-to-think-up-funn-fortune-cookie-fortunes/502455/54 "2009-07-14T14:44:16Z")
Eskimo ---
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2009, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-been-trying-to-think-up-funn-fortune-cookie-fortunes/502455/55 "2009-07-14T15:31:46Z")
“You just lost the game.” ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2009, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-been-trying-to-think-up-funn-fortune-cookie-fortunes/502455/56 "2009-07-14T17:00:30Z")
I’m in your base killing your guys. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2009, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-been-trying-to-think-up-funn-fortune-cookie-fortunes/502455/57 "2009-07-14T17:21:11Z")
Your cat has discovered something interesting. Prunella Pea and Penelope went riding one day, when-- (paper ripped) Call your broker. Red, green, blue, white… who shall we tag tonight? It’s you. You. You! ---
**Author:** ![Never\_Say\_Dice](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ee59a6/32.png) [@Never\_Say\_Dice](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Never_Say_Dice)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2009, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-been-trying-to-think-up-funn-fortune-cookie-fortunes/502455/58 "2009-07-14T17:43:01Z")
Did you find coin in teapot, or will busboy get it? Man who followed you in is now waiting at your car. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2009, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-been-trying-to-think-up-funn-fortune-cookie-fortunes/502455/59 "2009-07-14T19:21:18Z")
We don’t use too much MSG in this restaurant. It’s just your imagination. She’s just not that into you. Someday you will die. You’re not as funny as you think you are. We will bury you. Thanks for reinforcing ethnic stereotypes. Sulu should’ve been in command, not Kirk. ---
**Author:** ![EvilTOJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee59a6/32.png) [@EvilTOJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EvilTOJ)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2009, 6:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-been-trying-to-think-up-funn-fortune-cookie-fortunes/502455/60 "2009-07-15T06:19:18Z")
My hovercraft is full of eels Your life is to serve as example to others Fortune on other side (other side is blank) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-been-trying-to-think-up-funn-fortune-cookie-fortunes/502455.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-been-trying-to-think-up-funn-fortune-cookie-fortunes/502455.md?page=4)