# I've been trying to think up funn fortune cookie fortunes **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 9, 2009, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-been-trying-to-think-up-funn-fortune-cookie-fortunes/502455 "2009-07-09T14:45:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2009, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-been-trying-to-think-up-funn-fortune-cookie-fortunes/502455/81 "2009-07-17T19:34:29Z")
Avoid 30th Street between 3:00 and 3:15 today. This fortune is ISO-9000 compliant. Keep an eye on Table 7. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2009, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-been-trying-to-think-up-funn-fortune-cookie-fortunes/502455/82 "2009-07-17T21:25:40Z")
We are out to get you. ---
**Author:** ![the\_first\_supraliminal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f475e1/32.png) [@the\_first\_supraliminal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/the_first_supraliminal)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2009, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-been-trying-to-think-up-funn-fortune-cookie-fortunes/502455/83 "2009-07-17T21:52:04Z")
Laugh much and eat this fortune. Refuse to say why. If you see “+” then she is pregnant: + ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2009, 9:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-been-trying-to-think-up-funn-fortune-cookie-fortunes/502455/84 "2009-07-19T09:13:47Z")
> [@Jettboy](#): > > God wears a blue shirt and khakis? It must’ve been casual Friday. Didn’t they make a movie about that? George Burns, I think? ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2009, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-been-trying-to-think-up-funn-fortune-cookie-fortunes/502455/85 "2009-07-19T22:44:43Z")
Even paranoiacs have enemies. This fortune cookie always lies. That was a lie. Could God make a fortune cookie so strong that He couldn’t break it open? Next time, try to the Moo Goo Gai Pan. The chef hasn’t wash his hands in weeks. ---
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2009, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-been-trying-to-think-up-funn-fortune-cookie-fortunes/502455/86 "2009-07-19T23:54:40Z")
My brother just got a cookie with no fortune inside it. I find that to be rather ominous. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2009, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-been-trying-to-think-up-funn-fortune-cookie-fortunes/502455/87 "2009-07-20T00:12:08Z")
> [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](#): > > My brother just got a cookie with no fortune inside it. > > I find that to be rather ominous. It’s only ominous when everyone near you is getting that fortune. And no-one _not_ near you. ---
**Author:** ![Knorf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/58956e/32.png) [@Knorf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knorf)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2009, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-been-trying-to-think-up-funn-fortune-cookie-fortunes/502455/88 "2009-07-20T00:20:30Z")
Soon, you will probably suffer. But probably not for long. There’s always a chance you’ll miss the next big natural disaster. Probably very few bullets have your name on it. When you find a lump under the skin, don’t forget that it might be cancer. Traffic accidents are number one for accidental deaths in America. You might survive the drive home, though. ---
**Author:** ![unrelatedwaffle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/439d5e/32.png) [@unrelatedwaffle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/unrelatedwaffle)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2009, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-been-trying-to-think-up-funn-fortune-cookie-fortunes/502455/89 "2009-07-20T20:32:40Z")
I once got one in a weird font, different from all my friends’ cookies, that said “Great fortune awaits you at Western Dakota Tech!” I kept it in my wallet as proof until it dissolved. ---
**Author:** ![the\_first\_supraliminal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f475e1/32.png) [@the\_first\_supraliminal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/the_first_supraliminal)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2009, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-been-trying-to-think-up-funn-fortune-cookie-fortunes/502455/90 "2009-08-03T14:48:03Z")
They sell those specialty message cookies in the same advertising gimmick catalogs that have company logo pens and keychains. Your cookie probably was picked up at a job fair. ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2009, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-been-trying-to-think-up-funn-fortune-cookie-fortunes/502455/91 "2009-08-03T20:51:27Z")
> [@Drain\_Bead](#): > > I heard an interview with the guy who makes the ones you can buy. My favorite example he gave was “You’re no Jack Kennedy.” Heh 🙂 I wrote the fact that you can have custom-made fortune cookies into a story. > [@](#): > > “It’s not you, it’s me” wasn’t going to cut it. After seven months I owed him something more than one of my college roommates had paid to have printed on fortune cookies. ---
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2009, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-been-trying-to-think-up-funn-fortune-cookie-fortunes/502455/92 "2009-08-03T22:02:53Z")
Why, when I opened this thread, did my browser open a tab for “Numerology Readings that will stun you with their honesty”? ---
**Author:** ![Brainiac](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8797f3/32.png) [@Brainiac](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brainiac)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2009, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-been-trying-to-think-up-funn-fortune-cookie-fortunes/502455/93 "2009-10-05T16:14:53Z")
[Today’s comic strip contribution](http://imgsrv.gocomics.com/dim/?fh=0647494d590ad5d64c8b1310a4cc3112&w=450.0) ---
**Author:** ![Tenar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/35a633/32.png) [@Tenar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tenar)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2009, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-been-trying-to-think-up-funn-fortune-cookie-fortunes/502455/94 "2009-10-05T23:41:23Z")
> [@King\_Bobo](#): > > Chinese restaurants here serve fortune cookies with a “fortune” and also with lottery numbers geared towards 6/49 picks (our national lottery). > > I have always meant to play the numbers in my cookie, but as yet have never remembered to do this. > > Anyone with any anecdotes of someone finding a winning combination?? Absolutely. This book, [http://www.amazon.com/reader/0446698970?_encoding=UTF88&ref_=sib%5Fdp%5Fpt#noop](http://www.amazon.com/reader/0446698970?_encoding=UTF88&ref_=sib%5Fdp%5Fpt#noop), called The Fortune Cooke Chronicles, pretty much starts with an anecdote about an incident when an inordinate numbers of winners hit Powerball at once, and it was tracked to a fortune cookie “lucky number.” It isn’t the greatest book ever (think “library,” not “bookstore”), but it does answer your question, and also covers the origins of “Chinese” fortune cookes and “General Tso’s Chicken.” ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2009, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-been-trying-to-think-up-funn-fortune-cookie-fortunes/502455/95 "2009-10-06T01:06:06Z")
> [@Tenar](#): > > origins of “Chinese” fortune cookes and “General Tso’s Chicken.” Good lord, the latter is easy. Some annoyed cook thought, “I bet if I put these killer red peppers in whole, that moron will eat one.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-been-trying-to-think-up-funn-fortune-cookie-fortunes/502455.md?page=4)