# I've come to the sad conclusion that my dogs are morons. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 25, 2015, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-come-to-the-sad-conclusion-that-my-dogs-are-morons/735746 "2015-10-25T18:58:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2015, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-come-to-the-sad-conclusion-that-my-dogs-are-morons/735746/21 "2015-10-26T22:16:03Z")
Obama’s Best Labrador? ---
**Author:** ![Seanette](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/seanette/32/9139_2.png) [@Seanette](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seanette)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2015, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-come-to-the-sad-conclusion-that-my-dogs-are-morons/735746/22 "2015-10-26T22:20:47Z")
> [@DinoR](#): > > In dog terms I’ve seen far more moronic. I once dog sat for some friends. One of their dogs made yours look reasonably smart. While a mutt he showed a lot of characterstics of an Irish wolfhound. He was big and dumb. > > The screen door from their house regularly met his head at velocity. Open the inside door without a hand on his collar and he’d bash right in to it and then look around as if to ask “Who put that there?” If you made a loud noise or distracted him while he was eating he could forget that there was food in a dish in front of him. If you called his attention back to the food he’d get the surprised and happy “oooh time to eat” look and start chowing down. > > I swear his long term memory was measured in milliseconds. Could be all the head-meets-door moments. 🙂 I had a black Labrador once. Incredibly sweet dog, but her fur color was false advertising. She was a blonde. 🙂 Her ditzy moments included having to be physically restrained when out duck hunting to keep her from retrieving the decoys. When we went to a lake, she’d keep trying to retrieve ME out of the water (I was grade-school-age at the time). ---
**Author:** ![BaldDudePeekskill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b5e925/32.png) [@BaldDudePeekskill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BaldDudePeekskill)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2015, 11:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-come-to-the-sad-conclusion-that-my-dogs-are-morons/735746/23 "2015-10-27T11:03:32Z")
My Clarissa, May she rest in peace and bark in glory, tended to forget that eating bees led to a nasty allergic sting …I think we were on the road to getting her a canine epiPen, if such things existed. And the Shih-tzu, a rescue from an Amish puppy mill just now (one year later) understands the concept of outdoor elimination. She manages to miss the emergency pad by two inches. Every. Single. Time. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2015, 12:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-come-to-the-sad-conclusion-that-my-dogs-are-morons/735746/24 "2015-10-27T12:50:00Z")
I’ve got the opposite problem. My dogs are far smarter than they let on. I surprised them one day in the back room and caught them shooting craps for dog treats. ---
**Author:** ![Spiderman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiderman/32/230_2.png) [@Spiderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiderman)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2015, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-come-to-the-sad-conclusion-that-my-dogs-are-morons/735746/25 "2015-10-27T13:57:11Z")
> [@madsircool](#): > > OBL…Osama bin laden?? :0 > [@Ludovic](#): > > Obama’s Best Labrador? Combined, you almost had it. You may remember seeing [his picture](https://www.flickr.com/photos/74663312@N08/8614444693/) on the Post Office wall. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![enipla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/54ee81/32.png) [@enipla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enipla)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2015, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-come-to-the-sad-conclusion-that-my-dogs-are-morons/735746/26 "2015-10-27T14:02:34Z")
My dogs and ‘fetch’. “If you want the ball so bad, why do you keep throwing it away? Sheessss”. My dogs think I’m the moron. They might be right. ---
**Author:** ![QuarkChild](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/c5a1d2/32.png) [@QuarkChild](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuarkChild)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2015, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-come-to-the-sad-conclusion-that-my-dogs-are-morons/735746/27 "2015-10-27T15:36:41Z")
I think my cat is smarter than y’all’s dogs. Last night I put a piece of kibble under a large upside-down cardboard box. My cat had no trouble extracting it (I didn’t show him the process of putting the kibble under there–he found it after he was done eating dinner). He also can extract kibble from a pill bottle with a hole drilled in the top, mounted so that the bottle spins on a horizontal wire. He figured out how to rotate the pill bottle by slapping it until the kibble falls out the hole. (I built the device for him as a puzzle feeder.) I need to think of new ways to challenge him. I’m thinking of filling a box with shredded paper and hiding kibble in the bottom. ---
**Author:** ![gotpasswords](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c57346/32.png) [@gotpasswords](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gotpasswords)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2015, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-come-to-the-sad-conclusion-that-my-dogs-are-morons/735746/28 "2015-10-27T17:16:17Z")
Our dogs just don’t know how to dog. And yes, the old one is a retriever mix. A little over a week ago, I dropped a Frito under my desk. I was away for two days having surgery, and when I got back home, the Frito was still there, not two feet away from where the big golden dingbat sleeps during the day. ---
**Author:** ![Carryon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9fc29f/32.png) [@Carryon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Carryon)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2015, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-come-to-the-sad-conclusion-that-my-dogs-are-morons/735746/29 "2015-10-27T17:32:09Z")
So they don’t do anything, they screw things up, lack intellegence, and yet you pay for their room, their board, their medical bills, their toys, clean up their waste and spend large parts of your day with them and give them all your love. And you call THEM morons? 😃 I’d say they are pretty darn shrewd ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2015, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-come-to-the-sad-conclusion-that-my-dogs-are-morons/735746/30 "2015-10-28T20:20:37Z")
I got a dog who likes to catch bumblebees. He did get stung once, but not from the inside of his mouth. That somehow has never happened. His big sister is part Border Collie and is devious. I’ll give them hide strips to chew on. She’ll chew hers up right away. He’ll carry his around and suck on it and otherwise leave it by his head while he’s resting. She’ll go outside and start barking. He’ll perk up, run outside, and bark along with her. Then she’ll saunter back inside and steal his hide strip. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2015, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-come-to-the-sad-conclusion-that-my-dogs-are-morons/735746/31 "2015-10-28T23:34:53Z")
Still haven’t figured out why my dog will go out searching for specific rocks and then eat them. Also, do you know that story about how dogs are smarter than cats because when you push a dog off your lap a couple times they won’t come back? Well, not my chihuahua. She’s also the first dog we’ve ever had that can’t figure out what “sit” means, even to get a treat. ---
**Author:** ![MoonMoon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/moonmoon/32/2959_2.png) [@MoonMoon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MoonMoon)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2015, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-come-to-the-sad-conclusion-that-my-dogs-are-morons/735746/32 "2015-10-29T00:30:48Z")
> [@Carryon](#): > > So they don’t do anything, they screw things up, lack intellegence, and yet you pay for their room, their board, their medical bills, their toys, clean up their waste and spend large parts of your day with them and give them all your love. > > And you call THEM morons? 😃 > > I’d say they are pretty darn shrewd They’re the most highly evolved parasites on the planet. 😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-come-to-the-sad-conclusion-that-my-dogs-are-morons/735746.md?page=1)