# I've decided polygamy is an excellent way to raise a family **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 15, 2010, 5:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-decided-polygamy-is-an-excellent-way-to-raise-a-family/557218 "2010-10-15T05:53:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 15
**Author:** ![CaveMike](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cavemike/32/16379_2.png) [@CaveMike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CaveMike)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2010, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-decided-polygamy-is-an-excellent-way-to-raise-a-family/557218/281 "2010-10-20T03:09:50Z")
> [@Stoid](#): > > If the adults are happy with it, then it’s great, because in addition to parents who are happy in their relationship, you have all the aforementioned benefits for kids. What are all of the benefits for the kids? You didn’t mention any; just benefits for the parents. Do you mean childcare? ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2010, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-decided-polygamy-is-an-excellent-way-to-raise-a-family/557218/282 "2010-10-20T03:13:44Z")
> [@Stoid](#): > > Your fantasy life is very dark, you know… I’m just shining sunlight on a diseased, rotting corpse that you have delusionally romanticized into a happy fun clown. ---
**Author:** ![Stoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stoid/32/272_2.png) [@Stoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoid)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2010, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-decided-polygamy-is-an-excellent-way-to-raise-a-family/557218/283 "2010-10-20T03:21:28Z")
> [@jsgoddess](#): > > So, is monogamy unnatural and fueled by sexual jealousy? Because if you think saying that is somehow respectful and saying it’s “fine,” you have yet another set of wacky definitions. You should put out a dictionary. First of all, I think you might be wise to not take anything that anyone says about entire cultures, societies and species quite so personally. Just a thought. Secondly… I have absolutely no value judgment of any kind on the idea of “natural” vs. “unnatural”. I think it is profoundly unnatural for people to wear clothes, cover their mouths when they cough, use a hanky instead of their bare hands, risk their own life to save the life of someone else, cook, and about a thousand other things that range from “pleasant” to “fabulous”. If you bristle at the idea of unnatural, then I think you have a rather odd dictionary of your own. I like mine much better. As for sexual jealousy… it’s a fact of life, and it’s so common as that it is only the absence of it that surprises people. That being the case, it follows that jealousy bears on decisions about monogamy vs. any kind of open relationship. If you perceive that as a personal slam, that’s your choice. Wouldn’t be mine, but it is our infinite variety that keeps things interesting. ---
**Author:** ![Stoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stoid/32/272_2.png) [@Stoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoid)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2010, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-decided-polygamy-is-an-excellent-way-to-raise-a-family/557218/284 "2010-10-20T03:24:39Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > 1. Only one person in this situation is happy, and it’s not the kids or the slave-wives. Well, then it’s really a good thing that the Browns live in their real lives, not your sad imagination. > [@](#): > > 1. Teaching children that women are unequal to men is shitty parenting. I agree. Good thing all the evidence shows that these parents aren’t doing that. Whew! > [@](#): > > You have zero experience raising kids, and it is absurdly presumptuous and ignorant for you to tell those of us who are raising or have raised children in normal, monogamous relationships that we are all inferior parents to some fucked up hostage situation of a “family” that you saw on Oprah for an hour. Then I sure am glad I didn’t do that! Yet another bullet dodged! ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2010, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-decided-polygamy-is-an-excellent-way-to-raise-a-family/557218/285 "2010-10-20T03:25:12Z")
It’s not jealousy, it’s commitment, responsibility, bonding and mutal trust. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2010, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-decided-polygamy-is-an-excellent-way-to-raise-a-family/557218/286 "2010-10-20T03:27:59Z")
> [@Stoid](#): > > First of all, I think you might be wise to not take anything that anyone says about entire cultures, societies and species quite so personally. Just a thought. Right. Like if you were saying “Homosexuality is unnatural” you’d expect people to think you were just hunky dory with homosexuality. But I only point it out because you come off as a judgmental hypocrite when you start lecturing others on not being accepting or for judging without all the facts. Dude, you started this thread after watching an episode of Oprah and a fictional TV show. You have no standing to talk about anyone else’s leap to judgment. But hey, you just keep plugging away. I’m sure you’ll convince someone, somewhere, that you really know what you’re talking about. ---
**Author:** ![Stoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stoid/32/272_2.png) [@Stoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoid)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2010, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-decided-polygamy-is-an-excellent-way-to-raise-a-family/557218/287 "2010-10-20T03:28:24Z")
> [@CaveMike](#): > > What are all of the benefits for the kids? You didn’t mention any; just benefits for the parents. Do you mean childcare? Seems pretty obvious: everything good that parents provide is multiplied in terms of love, guidance, time, etc. Many siblings, which most people report to be a wonderful thing, except when it drains parental time and energy, only with multiple parents, that’s far less likely to happen! ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2010, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-decided-polygamy-is-an-excellent-way-to-raise-a-family/557218/288 "2010-10-20T03:29:33Z")
**DrDeth** , I don’t think it’s fair to quibble over such a small detail – she was raised as a Mormon. ---
**Author:** ![Stoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stoid/32/272_2.png) [@Stoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoid)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2010, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-decided-polygamy-is-an-excellent-way-to-raise-a-family/557218/289 "2010-10-20T03:31:03Z")
> [@jsgoddess](#): > > Dude, you started this thread after watching an episode of Oprah and a fictional TV show. You have no standing to talk about anyone else’s leap to judgment. > . Apart from being inaccurate, the logic behind this equation is a mystery. And that’s ok. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2010, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-decided-polygamy-is-an-excellent-way-to-raise-a-family/557218/290 "2010-10-20T03:31:19Z")
> [@Stoid](#): > > Well, then it’s really a good thing that the Browns live in their real lives, not your sad imagination. > > I agree. Good thing all the evidence shows that these parents aren’t doing that. Whew! Both of these comments show that you are watching the show through some kind of fairyland prism. > [@](#): > > Then I sure am glad I didn’t do that! The hell you didn’t. You said in your OP: > [@](#): > > I think it’s better for kids than monogamy Which is patent bullshit, and which is furthmore an assertion made with absolutely no personal knowledge or experience of raising kids. You also further insulted monogamous families by calling them “unnatural” and belittling monogamous commitment as “sexual jealousy” which is both sneering and false. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2010, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-decided-polygamy-is-an-excellent-way-to-raise-a-family/557218/291 "2010-10-20T03:32:33Z")
I’m beginning to feel like I’m in an infomercial. “Need another woman to take your stupid husband off your hands for the night? Have you always wished you had a sister who would fuck your husband so you don’t have to? Now you can. The Polygamizer can be yours for just five easy payments of $19.95!” ---
**Author:** ![Stoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stoid/32/272_2.png) [@Stoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoid)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2010, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-decided-polygamy-is-an-excellent-way-to-raise-a-family/557218/292 "2010-10-20T03:33:38Z")
> [@jsgoddess](#): > > Right. Like if you were saying “Homosexuality is unnatural” you’d expect people to think you were just hunky dory with homosexuality. By the way, apart from a bit of dabbling, I’ve always been pretty monogamous. I still think it’s an unnatural thing for homo sapiens. See how I can be okay with it and think it’s unnatural at the same time? Really not that complicated. ---
**Author:** ![CaveMike](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cavemike/32/16379_2.png) [@CaveMike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CaveMike)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2010, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-decided-polygamy-is-an-excellent-way-to-raise-a-family/557218/293 "2010-10-20T03:34:05Z")
> [@Stoid](#): > > Seems pretty obvious: everything good that parents provide is multiplied in terms of love, guidance, time, etc. Many siblings, which most people report to be a wonderful thing, except when it drains parental time and energy, only with multiple parents, that’s far less likely to happen! By this logic, it is multiplied by the number of parents and divided by the number of kids. Since there is one dad, the kids get less. poly: 1 dad + 4 moms / 10 kids = 1/2 mono: 1 dad + 1 mom / 2 kids = 1 And I challenge the notion that more kids in a family is better for the kids; especially when the ‘more kids’ is 10 or 15. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2010, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-decided-polygamy-is-an-excellent-way-to-raise-a-family/557218/294 "2010-10-20T03:34:40Z")
> [@Stoid](#): > > Seems pretty obvious: everything good that parents provide is multiplied in terms of love, guidance, time, etc. Many siblings, which most people report to be a wonderful thing, except when it drains parental time and energy, only with multiple parents, that’s far less likely to happen! You don’t have any idea what you’re talking about and you’re talking to people who do. Why on earth do you think you know more about parenting than people who have actually done it? Would you try to lecture lawyers about how to practice law? ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2010, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-decided-polygamy-is-an-excellent-way-to-raise-a-family/557218/295 "2010-10-20T03:34:56Z")
Isn’t what’s natural for our species defined by what our species does? ---
**Author:** ![Stoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stoid/32/272_2.png) [@Stoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoid)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2010, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-decided-polygamy-is-an-excellent-way-to-raise-a-family/557218/296 "2010-10-20T03:35:20Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > Both of these comments show that you are watching the show through some kind of fairyland prism. > > The hell you didn’t. > You said in your OP: > > Which is patent bullshit, and which is furthmore an assertion made with absolutely no personal knowledge or experience of raising kids. You also further insulted monogamous families by calling them “unnatural” and belittling monogamous commitment as “sexual jealousy” which is both sneering and false. My OP was clear. Better if you can do it. If you want to feel insulted and sneered at, please don’t let me interfere. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2010, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-decided-polygamy-is-an-excellent-way-to-raise-a-family/557218/297 "2010-10-20T03:36:07Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > You don’t have any idea what you’re talking about and you’re talking to people who do. Why on earth do you think you know more about parenting than people who have actually done it? Would you try to lecture lawyers about how to practice law? I think you just kicked the rotting happy fun clown’s head down the street. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2010, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-decided-polygamy-is-an-excellent-way-to-raise-a-family/557218/298 "2010-10-20T03:38:01Z")
> [@Stoid](#): > > By the way, apart from a bit of dabbling, I’ve always been pretty monogamous. I still think it’s an unnatural thing for homo sapiens. How are you defining “unnatural?” That seems like a very hard assertion to support since mongamous pair-bonding has been by far the most common form of human sexual bonding throught the history of the species. ---
**Author:** ![Stoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stoid/32/272_2.png) [@Stoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoid)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2010, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-decided-polygamy-is-an-excellent-way-to-raise-a-family/557218/299 "2010-10-20T03:40:27Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > You don’t have any idea what you’re talking about and you’re talking to people who do. Gosh… you mean everyone who has children knows what they are doing and their opinions and ideas should be trusted by virtue of the fact that they fucked each other and didn’t abort? Well, if that’s the case then I think you’re in a bit of a bind, Dio, because Kody Brown and his four wives have sixteen children between them, so I think you are in no position to argue that they don’t know what they’re doing, are you? But on the other hand, there’s Susan Smith, isn’t there? Not to mention the millions of fathers who rape their children…the millions of fathers and mothers who beat and abuse and starve their children. The millions of fathers and mothers who neglect their children… ---
**Author:** ![LavenderBlue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e95f7d/32.png) [@LavenderBlue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LavenderBlue)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2010, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-decided-polygamy-is-an-excellent-way-to-raise-a-family/557218/300 "2010-10-20T03:41:10Z")
How can you possibly respect a man who has thirteen children and spends hours every day “courting” a new wife? My husband and I spent over two hours today just with our one child. We helped her with her homework, fed her a snack and dinner, gave her a bath and supervised her at play before bedtime. Korey is a horrible parent who clearly spends almost no time with his poor kids. Polygamy encourages every male to follow such bad parenting practices. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-decided-polygamy-is-an-excellent-way-to-raise-a-family/557218.md?page=14) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-decided-polygamy-is-an-excellent-way-to-raise-a-family/557218.md?page=16)