# I've decided to become a Cave Man **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 14, 2006, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-decided-to-become-a-cave-man/368699 "2006-08-14T17:44:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2006, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-decided-to-become-a-cave-man/368699/1 "2006-08-14T17:44:31Z")
I’m abandoning good manners and water cooler chit-chat. I’m going to grunt and snort expressively. I’m going to hurl stones to illustrate my displeasure. I’m going to hunt Mastadon and live in a cave like Fred Flintstone. I’ve had it with the modern world. I’m going to evolve. Or _de_volve. Whatever. Grunt! Booga-booga. Snarl. :: Brandishes BlackBerry menacingly :: Grrrr. ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2006, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-decided-to-become-a-cave-man/368699/2 "2006-08-14T18:14:35Z")
On the bright side, you should still be able to use [geico.com](http://geico.com). ---
**Author:** ![Oy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bc8723/32.png) [@Oy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oy)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2006, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-decided-to-become-a-cave-man/368699/3 "2006-08-14T18:50:40Z")
I have to point out that announcing your decision to become one with your pre-historic heritage on a high-tech message board smacks just a tad of irony. ---
**Author:** ![Revenant\_Threshold](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f1d935/32.png) [@Revenant\_Threshold](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revenant_Threshold)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2006, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-decided-to-become-a-cave-man/368699/4 "2006-08-14T18:52:14Z")
> [@Winston Smith](#): > > I’m abandoning good manners and water cooler chit-chat. I’m going to grunt and snort expressively. I’m going to hurl stones to illustrate my displeasure. You’re becoming a teenager? ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2006, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-decided-to-become-a-cave-man/368699/5 "2006-08-14T18:58:31Z")
Good luck on that, there can be some real energy savings to cave living. You can save a lot on heating and cooling if done properly. Also as Hal pointed out, Car Insurance. BTW, wassup with the Jersey contingent checking in on this thread early? Jim ---
**Author:** ![Oy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bc8723/32.png) [@Oy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oy)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2006, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-decided-to-become-a-cave-man/368699/6 "2006-08-14T19:04:29Z")
> [@What Exit?](#): > > BTW, wassup with the Jersey contingent checking in on this thread early? > > Jim Not only NJ, but central NJ, probably within 35 miles of one another. :cue Twilight Zone music: ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2006, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-decided-to-become-a-cave-man/368699/7 "2006-08-14T19:24:19Z")
> [@Winston Smith](#): > > I’m going to hunt Mastadon and live in a cave like Fred Flintstone. _Rechecks location_ Hey, we’ll be neighbors. Come by if you need to borrow a cup of beet pulp or anything. ---
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2006, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-decided-to-become-a-cave-man/368699/8 "2006-08-14T19:25:06Z")
> [@What Exit?](#): > > BTW, wassup with the Jersey contingent checking in on this thread early? > > Jim …you all habitually search the keywords “cave man?” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Draelin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce73a5/32.png) [@Draelin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Draelin)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2006, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-decided-to-become-a-cave-man/368699/9 "2006-08-14T19:38:22Z")
> [@What Exit?](#): > > BTW, wassup with the Jersey contingent checking in on this thread early? Crap, I’m late. **Winston** , just make sure you get one of those kickass bird-beak record players. Because you don’t want to live in a cave _and_ have no tunes, you know? ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2006, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-decided-to-become-a-cave-man/368699/10 "2006-08-14T19:47:28Z")
> [@OneCentStamp](#): > > …you all habitually search the keywords “cave man?” 😃 That must be it. 😉 **Winston** , I would strongly suggest following this basic plan of “Hole Dwelling”. > [@](#): > > Not a nasty, dirty, wet hole, filled with the ends of worms and an oozy smell, nor yet a dry, bare, sandy hole with nothing in it to sit down on or to eat: it was a hobbit-hole, and that means comfort. > It had a perfectly round door like a porthole, painted green, with a > shiny yellow brass knob in the exact middle. The door opened on to a > tube-shaped hall like a tunnel: a very comfortable tunnel without smoke, > with panelled walls, and floors tiled and carpeted, provided with polished > chairs, and lots and lots of pegs for hats and coats - the hobbit was fond > of visitors. The tunnel wound on and on, going fairly but not quite straight > into the side of the hill - The Hill, as all the people for many miles round > called it - and many little round doors opened out of it, first on one side > and then on another. No going upstairs for the hobbit: bedrooms, bathrooms, > cellars, pantries (lots of these), wardrobes (he had whole rooms devoted to > clothes), kitchens, dining-rooms, all were on the same floor, and indeed on > the same passage. The best rooms were all on the left-hand side (going in), > for these were the only ones to have windows, deep-set round windows looking > over his garden and meadows beyond, sloping down to the river. \*\*Oy!, \*\* I went looking for the Twilight Zone music and instead got caught up reading the [wiki article](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Twilight_Zone) on it. **Draelin** here, hooray, ok now we need to lure **Oy!** out to the [dopefest in September](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=379028). Jim ---
**Author:** ![Oy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bc8723/32.png) [@Oy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oy)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2006, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-decided-to-become-a-cave-man/368699/11 "2006-08-14T20:01:46Z")
[unfortunate serious hijack]I’m sorry, I can’t drive. I haven’t been able to work in two months because I’m having as yet undiagnosed-cause dizzy spells. One of the big problems is that I can’t drive any distance. (Riding with someone else is out too - it’s the motion that brings on the dizziness apparently). Probably some inner ear thing, but absolutely zero hearing loss, so I’m good there. Don’t worry about me, I actually feel fine and there’s no reason to believe there’s anything seriously wrong going on. I’m not sick. In fact, I’m having a great time! I’m one of those people whose best dream is to be locked in her own home, so this is about as good as it gets. But I can’t come to a DopeFest. I’m sorry, especially about you, Jim, as I run into you more often than **Draelin** or **Hal** , and I think you’re one of the nicest people on the SDMB. (I’m not saying anything negative about **Draelin** or **Hal** \, it’s just that I run across Jim more often and so know him better - I hang out in the Pit a lot.) But unless you want to hold a DopeFest in my living room, I can’t come. Sorry! Actually, I’ve got a pretty nice living room. But parking would be limited - it’s an urban residential neighborhood. That being said, you’re all certainly welcome! Just let me know in advance! But you MUST bring **Eve**! If I’m ever going to give a party, Miss Dorothy Parker Manners must be there! Betcha I could get **twickster**! [/hijack] ---
**Author:** ![UncleRojelio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/unclerojelio/32/3160_2.png) [@UncleRojelio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleRojelio)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2006, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-decided-to-become-a-cave-man/368699/12 "2006-08-14T20:32:40Z")
> [@Winston Smith](#): > > I’m abandoning good manners and water cooler chit-chat. I’m going to grunt and snort expressively. I’m going to hurl stones to illustrate my displeasure. I’m going to hunt Mastadon and live in a cave like Fred Flintstone. Good luck finding and defending a large enough foraging area. ---
**Author:** ![pinkfreud](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pinkfreud/32/17603_2.png) [@pinkfreud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pinkfreud)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2006, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-decided-to-become-a-cave-man/368699/13 "2006-08-14T20:35:45Z")
Keep in mind that if you must drag your mate around, it’s best to drag her by the hair. If you drag her by the feet, she’ll fill up with sand. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2006, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-decided-to-become-a-cave-man/368699/14 "2006-08-14T20:39:47Z")
> [@pinkfreud](#): > > Keep in mind that if you must drag your mate around, it’s best to drag her by the hair. If you drag her by the feet, she’ll fill up with sand. Wow, I never knew that. Makes sense now. **Oy!** : thanks for the kind words and you better watch out, one day we’ll all take you up on that offer. Jim ---
**Author:** ![Oy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bc8723/32.png) [@Oy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oy)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2006, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-decided-to-become-a-cave-man/368699/15 "2006-08-14T20:53:32Z")
> [@What Exit?](#): > > **Oy!** : thanks for the kind words and you better watch out, one day we’ll all take you up on that offer. > > Jim Actually the invitation was dead serious. If you guys decided right now you wanted to change your next DopeFest to my house, I’d have not the slightest problem with that; it’s not like I’m going anywhere! And I’ll betcha I _could_ get **Twickster** to come, even though she’s PA. ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2006, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-decided-to-become-a-cave-man/368699/16 "2006-08-14T21:07:33Z")
I’m still trying to get a group together to get back to the ocean. C’mon, gills! ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2006, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-decided-to-become-a-cave-man/368699/17 "2006-08-14T21:54:36Z")
Perhaps becoming a Caveman is not for you, **Winston**. Perhaps you should consider becoming a Barbarian. Barbarians are allowed to use Metal, like swords & axes. Barbarians can ride on horseback. Barbarians are Fully Licensed to carry off Nubile Dancing Girls In Skimpy Outfits©. And, if you are the entrepeneur type, Barbarians can form Maurauding Barbarian Hordes® for fun & profit. ---
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2006, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-decided-to-become-a-cave-man/368699/18 "2006-08-14T22:07:38Z")
> [@Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor](#): > > Perhaps becoming a Caveman is not for you, **Winston**. > > Perhaps you should consider becoming a Barbarian. > > Barbarians are allowed to use Metal, like swords & axes. Barbarians can ride on horseback. Barbarians are Fully Licensed to carry off Nubile Dancing Girls In Skimpy Outfits©. > > And, if you are the entrepeneur type, Barbarians can form Maurauding Barbarian Hordes® for fun & profit. What’s In Your Wallet?[sup]TM[/sup] 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2006, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-decided-to-become-a-cave-man/368699/19 "2006-08-14T22:17:26Z")
> [@OneCentStamp](#): > > What’s In Your Wallet?[sup]TM[/sup] 😉 The severed head of a Stygian sorcerer, by Crom! WHO WANTS TO KNOW?!? :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2006, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-decided-to-become-a-cave-man/368699/20 "2006-08-14T22:21:48Z")
> [@Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor](#): > > The severed head of a Stygian sorcerer, by Crom! > WHO WANTS TO KNOW?!? :dubious: You too? how many of those are still in circulation? Jim [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-decided-to-become-a-cave-man/368699.md?page=2)