# I've decided to become a Cave Man **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 14, 2006, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-decided-to-become-a-cave-man/368699 "2006-08-14T17:44:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2006, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-decided-to-become-a-cave-man/368699/21 "2006-08-14T22:23:30Z")
[QUOTE=UncleRojelio] Good luck finding and defending a large enough foraging area. [/QUOTE] There’s a perfectly good grocer right here in town. For the record, I don’t remember The Flintstones having to forage. ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2006, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-decided-to-become-a-cave-man/368699/22 "2006-08-14T22:28:43Z")
[QUOTE=Bosda Di’Chi of Tricor] Perhaps becoming a Caveman is not for you, **Winston**. Perhaps you should consider becoming a Barbarian. Barbarians are allowed to use Metal, like swords & axes. Barbarians can ride on horseback. Barbarians are Fully Licensed to carry off Nubile Dancing Girls In Skimpy Outfits©. And, if you are the entrepeneur type, Barbarians can form Maurauding Barbarian Hordes® for fun & profit. [/QUOTE] No can do, Bos. My fellow doper and sometimes colleague Regellag The Axe is in the Barbarian space, and I take a pretty strict no compete stance in matters like this. I stay out of Barbarianism, and he stays out of SuperVillainry and other matters of world domination. I’m sure you’ll agree there’s no reason to upset the applecart (so to speak). ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2006, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-decided-to-become-a-cave-man/368699/23 "2006-08-14T22:34:26Z")
[QUOTE=pinkfreud] Keep in mind that if you must drag your mate around, it’s best to drag her by the hair. If you drag her by the feet, she’ll fill up with sand. [/QUOTE] She’s a modern, “liberated” cavewoman. She’ll figure out a way to drag _herself_ around, I guess. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2006, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-decided-to-become-a-cave-man/368699/24 "2006-08-14T22:36:09Z")
[QUOTE=Winston Smith] No can do, Bos. My fellow doper and sometimes colleague Regellag The Axe is in the Barbarian space, and I take a pretty strict no compete stance in matters like this. I stay out of Barbarianism, and he stays out of SuperVillainry and other matters of world domination. I’m sure you’ll agree there’s no reason to upset the applecart (so to speak). [/QUOTE] The Barbarians are not exclusive. Please note the presence of **Hentor the Barbarian**. Now were you aiming for Neanderthal, Troglodyte, full time Spelunker or Crazy Hermit? Jim ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2006, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-decided-to-become-a-cave-man/368699/25 "2006-08-14T22:43:53Z")
[QUOTE=What Exit?] The Barbarians are not exclusive. Please note the presence of **Hentor the Barbarian**. Now were you aiming for Neanderthal, Troglodyte, full time Spelunker or Crazy Hermit? Jim [/QUOTE] Indeed. I forgot about Hentor. Nonetheless, I’ve never worked with him, so I can’t vouch for his credentials. It could be an honorary title, for all I know. Hmm. I hadn’t considered the possible evolutionary choices. I guess I’m questing towards whatever Fred was. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2006, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-decided-to-become-a-cave-man/368699/26 "2006-08-14T22:57:05Z")
[QUOTE=Winston Smith] Indeed. I forgot about Hentor. Nonetheless, I’ve never worked with him, so I can’t vouch for his credentials. It could be an honorary title, for all I know. Hmm. I hadn’t considered the possible evolutionary choices. I guess I’m questing towards whatever Fred was. [/QUOTE] Well Fred was a Stone Age salute of the Jackie Gleason, not a caveman. He had a solid, well constructed stone house, a job and many other non-caveman things. He also had a wide range of Jesus Horses. Jim ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2006, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-decided-to-become-a-cave-man/368699/27 "2006-08-14T23:19:17Z")
[QUOTE=What Exit?] Well Fred was a Stone Age salute of the Jackie Gleason, not a caveman. He had a solid, well constructed stone house, a job and many other non-caveman things. He also had a wide range of Jesus Horses. Jim [/QUOTE] What a _strange_ thing to say. Fred Flintstone was a fine Cave Man. I don’t know what would posess you to denigrate him in such a blatant manner. ---
**Author:** ![Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/8edcca/32.png) [@Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hentor_the_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2006, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-decided-to-become-a-cave-man/368699/28 "2006-08-15T02:01:33Z")
[QUOTE=Winston Smith] Indeed. I forgot about Hentor. Nonetheless, I’ve never worked with him, so I can’t vouch for his credentials. It could be an honorary title, for all I know. [/QUOTE] Indeed sir! I have never been so insulted. My credentials are impeccable. I am the very model of a modern major barbarian. I shall slap your face with this white glove and demand my satisfaction. It shall be large rocks at dawn. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2006, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-decided-to-become-a-cave-man/368699/29 "2006-08-15T02:12:21Z")
[QUOTE=Hentor the Barbarian] Indeed sir! I have never been so insulted. My credentials are impeccable. I am the very model of a modern major barbarian. I shall slap your face with this white glove and demand my satisfaction. It shall be large rocks at dawn. [/QUOTE] As the challenger, is not the right of weapons Mr Smith’s? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/8edcca/32.png) [@Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hentor_the_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2006, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-decided-to-become-a-cave-man/368699/30 "2006-08-15T02:15:39Z")
[QUOTE=What Exit?] As the challenger, is not the right of weapons Mr Smith’s? 😉 [/QUOTE] Protocol? I’m a barbarian! ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2006, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-decided-to-become-a-cave-man/368699/31 "2006-08-15T02:20:43Z")
[QUOTE=Hentor the Barbarian] Protocol? I’m a barbarian! [/QUOTE] Ah, I was confused by the “modern major” and “white gloves”. My mistake. Jim ---
**Author:** ![betenoir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2006, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-decided-to-become-a-cave-man/368699/32 "2006-08-15T02:39:18Z")
[QUOTE=Winston Smith] Or _de_volve. [/QUOTE] Actually that would make you Mark Mothersbaugh. Incidently when did we become a contingent? ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2006, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-decided-to-become-a-cave-man/368699/33 "2006-08-15T02:50:46Z")
[QUOTE=betenoir] Actually that would make you Mark Mothersbaugh. Incidently when did we become a contingent? [/QUOTE] Nothing Official, just a word that spilled out of my head and onto the dope. Jim ---
**Author:** ![ZebraShaSha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/eada6e/32.png) [@ZebraShaSha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZebraShaSha)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2006, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-decided-to-become-a-cave-man/368699/34 "2006-08-15T02:55:36Z")
[QUOTE=Revenant Threshold] You’re becoming a teenager? [/QUOTE] [Teenage Caveman](http://www.beathappening.com/media/audio/BeatHappeningTnageCvmn.mp3) ---
**Author:** ![Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/8edcca/32.png) [@Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hentor_the_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2006, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-decided-to-become-a-cave-man/368699/35 "2006-08-15T02:59:51Z")
[QUOTE=What Exit?] Nothing Official, just a word that spilled out of my head and onto the dope. Jim [/QUOTE] :smack: Ah! I get it now. Jersey? What Exit? I’m a bit slow. ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2006, 12:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-decided-to-become-a-cave-man/368699/36 "2006-08-15T12:11:10Z")
[QUOTE=Hentor the Barbarian] Indeed sir! I have never been so insulted. My credentials are impeccable. I am the very model of a modern major barbarian. I shall slap your face with this white glove and demand my satisfaction. It shall be large rocks at dawn. [/QUOTE] Can’t we just settle this peacably with large rocks? Oh. Yes. Of course. ---
**Author:** ![FriarTed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/friarted/32/1052_2.png) [@FriarTed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FriarTed)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2006, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-decided-to-become-a-cave-man/368699/37 "2006-08-15T14:54:24Z")
This is the first step to your eventually becoming a lawyer, is it not? ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2006, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-decided-to-become-a-cave-man/368699/38 "2006-08-15T15:07:01Z")
[QUOTE=FriarTed] This is the first step to your eventually becoming a lawyer, is it not? [/QUOTE] What, and give up my aspirations to become foreman at the quarry? I think not. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2006, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-decided-to-become-a-cave-man/368699/39 "2006-08-15T15:17:55Z")
Hey **Smith** , once you get settled in your new digs, come on over to my place and we’ll have some cactus juice and throw some darts. My neanderthal woman will throw some bronto-burgers on the fire for us…man, neanderthal chicks are sooo hot! Did you know their hoohahs go _sideways_…? ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2006, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-decided-to-become-a-cave-man/368699/40 "2006-08-15T15:32:24Z")
I think I’m sophisticated cos I’m living my life like a good homo sapien. But all around me everybody’s multiplying Till theyre walking round like flies, man. So I’m no better than the animals sitting in their cages in the zoo, man. 'Cos compared to the flowers and the birds and the trees I am an ape man. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-decided-to-become-a-cave-man/368699.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-decided-to-become-a-cave-man/368699.md?page=3)