# I've decided to start smoking **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 12, 2010, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-decided-to-start-smoking/556856 "2010-10-12T02:57:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![emacknight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/3ec8ea/32.png) [@emacknight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/emacknight)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2010, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-decided-to-start-smoking/556856/1 "2010-10-12T02:57:10Z")
I realized today that if I stand around for 10min doing nothing, I look lazy. But if I stand around holding a cigarette, I look cool. Any suggestions for which brand I should choose, I’d like one that says rugged and masculine, but with a heart of gold? And which way should hold it? The classic way seems over done, but then _Mad Men_ kind of brought it back. ---
**Author:** ![Suburban\_Plankton](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/suburban_plankton/32/219_2.png) [@Suburban\_Plankton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Suburban_Plankton)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2010, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-decided-to-start-smoking/556856/2 "2010-10-12T03:05:04Z")
If you’re gonna do it, do it all the way. Camel unfiltered or nothing at all. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2010, 3:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-decided-to-start-smoking/556856/3 "2010-10-12T03:06:11Z")
Lungs should never be smoked, only things like ribs, brisket and shoulder of various animals. Seriously, why? It’s a stupid, disgusting habit that you should stay away from. No one who matters will think you’re cool. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2010, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-decided-to-start-smoking/556856/4 "2010-10-12T03:09:17Z")
> [@emacknight](#): > > I realized today that if I stand around for 10min doing nothing, I look lazy.\ Good point. I don’t know how many places I’ve worked at where the smokers where the only ones that got regular breaks (and boy, were they regular! Every hour on the hour!). My solution for this is to drink A LOT of water at work - five minutes in the bathroom five times a day is acceptable and doesn’t kill you in a nasty way. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2010, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-decided-to-start-smoking/556856/5 "2010-10-12T03:26:40Z")
> [@Suburban\_Plankton](#): > > If you’re gonna do it, do it all the way. Camel unfiltered or nothing at all. If you really need something to occupy your hands, use an e-cig. It doesn’t gum up the rest of us. ---
**Author:** ![SeaDragonTattoo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df705f/32.png) [@SeaDragonTattoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SeaDragonTattoo)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2010, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-decided-to-start-smoking/556856/6 "2010-10-12T03:49:23Z")
> [@emacknight](#): > > But if I stand around holding a cigarette, I look cool. No you don’t. You look like the rest of the pathetic addicted dorks, and like you’re going to stink when you come back inside. Or worse, smell like mint gum and tobacco, because smokers can’t smell anything and think mint gum covers up the disgusting stink. Smokers look like they’re not working when they’re outside smoking and ---- not working. :dubious: Just go for a walk. ---
**Author:** ![Lanzy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/74df32/32.png) [@Lanzy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lanzy)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2010, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-decided-to-start-smoking/556856/7 "2010-10-12T04:04:26Z")
To be really cool, go with a pipe. ---
**Author:** ![RandMcnally](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b782af/32.png) [@RandMcnally](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RandMcnally)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2010, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-decided-to-start-smoking/556856/8 "2010-10-12T04:13:11Z")
Or Black and Milds, those smell so friggin good. Actually, if I would have stayed in the military I would have started smoking those whenever I was/only while I was deployed. I mean seriously, I’m in the Middle East where people are trying to kill me. Fuck it, I’m smoking. And besides, who knew what was in that smoky air I was breathing in while over there? Luckily for my lungs I got out. ---
**Author:** ![Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stranger_On_A_Train)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2010, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-decided-to-start-smoking/556856/9 "2010-10-12T04:28:07Z")
> [@Lanzy](#): > > To be really cool, go with a pipe. Like [this guy](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/J._R._%22Bob%22_Dobbs)? > [@emacknight](#): > > Any suggestions for which brand I should choose, I’d like one that says rugged and masculine, but with a heart of gold? > > And which way should hold it? The classic way seems over done, but then _Mad Men_ kind of brought it back. I’ve never figured out what is supposed to look “rugged and masculine” about sucking on a delicate white tube, but whatever floats it for you. Since you’re referencing _Mad Men_ I think you have to go with Lucky Strikes; not only the preferred brand of Don Draper, but also Jesse Helms and the _Miami Vice_-era Don Johnson. Remember, L.S.M.F.T.C.[SUP]1[/SUP] Stranger [SUP]1[/SUP]Lucky Strike Means Foolhardy Terminal Cancer ---
**Author:** ![Isamu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7c8e57/32.png) [@Isamu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isamu)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2010, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-decided-to-start-smoking/556856/10 "2010-10-12T04:33:42Z")
Doesn’t matter what the brand is. Remember - Never Buy Your Own. Just sidle up to the smokers and ask if you can bum a fag. If they politely decline then ask if you have have a cigarette instead. ---
**Author:** ![Sticks\_and\_Scones](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sticks_and_scones/32/16951_2.png) [@Sticks\_and\_Scones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sticks_and_Scones)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2010, 10:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-decided-to-start-smoking/556856/11 "2010-10-12T10:37:32Z")
Obviously you read [this](http://i150.photobucket.com/albums/s103/purplkid/338105full.gif) comic the other day… ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2010, 10:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-decided-to-start-smoking/556856/12 "2010-10-12T10:46:45Z")
I don’t smoke, have no interest in smoking, never will smoke and have never smoked tobacco. But I do think it looks cool. Especially in cigar form. Especially in cigarillo form. ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2010, 11:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-decided-to-start-smoking/556856/13 "2010-10-12T11:09:44Z")
_Sobranie Black Russians_ or _Sobranie Cocktails_ ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2010, 11:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-decided-to-start-smoking/556856/14 "2010-10-12T11:43:26Z")
Smoking’s a great idea. Lots of ‘how to save money’ articles mention cutting down or stopping smoking, which you can’t do if you don’t smoke. Soon you’ll be saving money! ---
**Author:** ![Isamu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7c8e57/32.png) [@Isamu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isamu)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2010, 12:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-decided-to-start-smoking/556856/15 "2010-10-12T12:18:39Z")
> [@emacknight](#): > > I realized today that if I stand around for 10min doing nothing, I look lazy. > > But if I stand around holding a cigarette, I look cool. > > Any suggestions for which brand I should choose, I’d like one that says rugged and masculine, but with a heart of gold? > > And which way should hold it? The classic way seems over done, but then _Mad Men_ kind of brought it back. I admire your natural instinct to skive. However, if your job mainly involves pushing buttons or answering telephones, then I don’t think a smoking break is going to be the umbrella of protection from _working_ that you think it will be. If your job requires you to be at your desk during working hours, then you just might be shit out of luck. On the other hand, if your job involves thinking more than doing, then you might be safe to hang out in the smoking area. Just don’t talk to me - I’m busy. ---
**Author:** ![emacknight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/3ec8ea/32.png) [@emacknight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/emacknight)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2010, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-decided-to-start-smoking/556856/16 "2010-10-12T13:11:00Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > > [@emacknight](#): > > > > My solution for this is to drink A LOT of water at work - five minutes in the bathroom five times a day is acceptable and doesn’t kill you in a nasty way. 🙂 I’ve thought about that, but there are two problems: 1) I’m not sure I want people saying, “He’s probably in the bathroom…again.” Makes it seem like there is something wrong with me. And 2) Aside from the ability to avoid work, it’s social; literally where the cool people hang out. Talking about cool stuff. Laughing, having a good time. Can’t do that in the men’s bathroom. > [@SeaDragonTattoo](#): > > > [@emacknight](#): > > > > But if I stand around holding a cigarette, I look cool. > > Just go for a walk. We had a woman in her 60s that used to do that (I think as a way to quit smoking). I think that it’s too obvious. The point is to stand around doing nothing, without being called lazy. ---
**Author:** ![Bloody\_L](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bloody\_L](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bloody_L)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2010, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-decided-to-start-smoking/556856/17 "2010-10-12T14:00:58Z")
> [@Sunspace](#): > > > [@Suburban\_Plankton](#): > > > > If you’re gonna do it, do it all the way. Camel unfiltered or nothing at all. > > If you really need something to occupy your hands, use an e-cig. It doesn’t gum up the rest of us. My boyfriend uses one of these and he loves it. You can even smoke these things in non-smoking areas because they put out vapor, not smoke. At least these are the type he had. He worked in a liquor store and could smoke whenever ---
**Author:** ![Bloody\_L](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bloody\_L](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bloody_L)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2010, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-decided-to-start-smoking/556856/18 "2010-10-12T14:04:09Z")
Also, smoking is terrible and nasty and I’d never do it. But those clove cigs smell so lovely like Christmas! ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2010, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-decided-to-start-smoking/556856/19 "2010-10-12T14:08:12Z")
And I was hoping this would be about barbecue. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2010, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-decided-to-start-smoking/556856/20 "2010-10-12T14:12:35Z")
> [@Lanzy](#): > > To be really cool, go with a pipe. I’m glad I’m not the only one who was thinking this. Seriously now, smoking is a great way to pick up chicks. Now that it’s against the law to smoke cigarettes pretty much anywhere, the three spots in the country that allow for smoking are crammed with people making small talk, chicks who need lights, and plenty of reasons to chat up that cute girl you’ve been eying. Give it a whirl. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-decided-to-start-smoking/556856.md?page=2)