# I've fallen off the wagon, and I can't get up! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 11, 1999, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-fallen-off-the-wagon-and-i-cant-get-up/13116 "1999-11-11T19:03:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![According\_to\_Pliny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8e7dd6/32.png) [@According\_to\_Pliny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/According_to_Pliny)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 1999, 6:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-fallen-off-the-wagon-and-i-cant-get-up/13116/1 "1999-11-12T06:20:00Z")
Sometime back in August or September, I went “cold turkey” as far as the SDMB is concerned. After more than six months of mental masterbation, it was time to give my keyboard a rest and attend to those beloved things I’d been neglecting: Wife, Work and Waves! In barely 2 months, I’ve finished two professional developement classes, built a koi pond in the back yard, surfed every morning before work, lost 10 pounds, finished my screenplay, and have had sex with my wife more times then I had in the previous six months. So, why am I back? Well, I’m not, really. PapaBear had a reputation for critisizing the mods, pointing out other posters’ lack of tact, and racking up an obscenely huge number of posts in a very short time. This is PapaBear’s last post! Ursa Major, however, will soon be making his debut in the GQ forum. U.M. will avoid all personality conflicts and will be far less prolific as PapaBear. He will not be posting from work. He will not check every 10 minutes to see if his posts have been replied to. He will rarely venture into the BBQ pit and the Great Debates forum. He will remain silent on the excentricities of Icelanders, Mormons, Canadians and moderators. Most of all, before he logs onto the SDMB Ursa Major will first ask himself, “Is there something more productive I should be doing?” Be confident that before he even thinks of logging on, the koi will have been fed and the wife will have been satisfied. PS- I missed you guys! ---
**Author:** ![Strainger](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/strainger/32/244_2.png) [@Strainger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Strainger)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 1999, 6:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-fallen-off-the-wagon-and-i-cant-get-up/13116/2 "1999-11-12T06:28:00Z")
Welcome back, Pap…uh…Ursa Major! ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 1999, 6:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-fallen-off-the-wagon-and-i-cant-get-up/13116/3 "1999-11-12T06:40:00Z")
Great to have you back, UM. You were edging out about the time I was edging in, but I missed you anyway. So what you’re trying to do here is the SDMB equivalent of smoking one cigarette a day with the morning coffee, just to keep yourself regular. Lemme know how it works. Because I’m currently at the SDMB equivalent of three packs of Luckies a day. * * * Uke ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 1999, 6:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-fallen-off-the-wagon-and-i-cant-get-up/13116/4 "1999-11-12T06:44:00Z")
Hey, PapaMajor. I’m about like Uke there above me. I do find it interesting to run across your posts of the past though. And your name is still brought up from time to time. Looking forward to seeing more from ya. Uke, you gotta smoke I can bum? I out. * * * **Dopeler effect:** The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly. ---
**Author:** ![Guy\_Propski](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/5e9695/32.png) [@Guy\_Propski](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guy_Propski)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 1999, 6:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-fallen-off-the-wagon-and-i-cant-get-up/13116/5 "1999-11-12T06:55:00Z")
I’m really happy you’re back, UM (may I call you U?). I missed your postings, mostly because you were (and are) one of the most knowledgable posters around. I also liked the fact that you didn’t speculate, but actually did research on answers. ---
**Author:** ![Sealemon88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c68b51/32.png) [@Sealemon88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sealemon88)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 1999, 6:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-fallen-off-the-wagon-and-i-cant-get-up/13116/6 "1999-11-12T06:59:00Z")
Welcome back Uresa. \< raises hand \> Hi, My name is Sealemon88, and I’m a SDMB addict. But I’m getting a little better. 😉 I’ve heard a lot about you UM. See you around. * * * You say “cheesy” like that’s a **BAD** thing. ---
**Author:** ![Arnold\_Winkelried](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Arnold\_Winkelried](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arnold_Winkelried)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 1999, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-fallen-off-the-wagon-and-i-cant-get-up/13116/7 "1999-11-11T19:03:00Z")
You don’t know me, P.B., (though I did post originally under the name Jacques Kilchoer), but I always read your posts with interest. They were well-written and very informed. Welcome back! By the way, did you ever find an answer to your question about keel-hauling? P.S. I remember you said at one time you enjoy reading naval fiction. Have you read “Voyage of the Narwhal” by Andrea Barrett? It’s not so much naval fiction as polar exploration, but it’s well worth the time. * * * La franchise ne consiste pas à dire tout ce que l’on pense, mais à penser tout ce que l’on dit. H. de Livry ---
**Author:** ![Falcon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/49beb7/32.png) [@Falcon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Falcon)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 1999, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-fallen-off-the-wagon-and-i-cant-get-up/13116/8 "1999-11-11T19:20:00Z")
Papa…I mean, Ursa! Welcome back! Missed ya, dear! And hmmm…you being back will give me another reason to go back to reading GQ! YAY! ---
**Author:** ![Frankie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/258eb7/32.png) [@Frankie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frankie)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 1999, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-fallen-off-the-wagon-and-i-cant-get-up/13116/9 "1999-11-11T19:40:00Z")
Yay Papabear is back! ## I feel whole again. Phew! Your guidance is welcomed back Pops! -Frankie I’m not a shrimp, I’m a King Prawn. -Pepe the Prawn ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 1999, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-fallen-off-the-wagon-and-i-cant-get-up/13116/10 "1999-11-11T21:49:00Z")
This got me thinking, maybe I should take a break from the SDMB. I sure wouldn’t mind having more sex with Papabear’s wife! \ ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 1999, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-fallen-off-the-wagon-and-i-cant-get-up/13116/11 "1999-11-11T21:52:00Z")
I swear to god, I put a (rimshot) at the end of the above post, but used the less-that/greater instead of parenthesis around it. That must mean something to UBB, so it vanished. Do’h!!! ---
**Author:** ![Ringo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/779978/32.png) [@Ringo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ringo)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 1999, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-fallen-off-the-wagon-and-i-cant-get-up/13116/12 "1999-11-11T22:53:00Z")
Good to hear from you PB/UM. Now if I notice you around here as often as I am, I’ll know that either I’m finally getting a handle on the SDMB and my life, or you’re backsliding. Regards ---
**Author:** ![Poto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ab992/32.png) [@Poto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Poto)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 1999, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-fallen-off-the-wagon-and-i-cant-get-up/13116/13 "1999-11-11T23:28:00Z")
Well welcome back, even though you ain’t my Papa. The posting from work really has to go. I only post on two boards at work, and since the other one has 60 members, I can keep up checking 3 times a day: once with the e mail reading at 7 30 am, at noon, and before going home. ---
**Author:** ![MrKnowItAll](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrknowitall/32/87_2.png) [@MrKnowItAll](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrKnowItAll)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 1999, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-fallen-off-the-wagon-and-i-cant-get-up/13116/14 "1999-11-12T03:12:00Z")
“Papa! You’re back from Peru!” You, sir, have been royally missed. Great to see you back. Call yourself whatever you want, you’ll always be Papabear to me. ---
**Author:** ![Jorge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9fc29f/32.png) [@Jorge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jorge)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 1999, 7:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-fallen-off-the-wagon-and-i-cant-get-up/13116/15 "1999-11-12T07:13:00Z")
Thank goodness ! Not completely gone ! Fighting ignorance without Papa is like searching for the Grail without Arthur (sound of coconuts clacking). The occasional factual, researched & disciplined input will be greatly looked forward to. Aloha ! (& off to the waves hereabouts) * * * _O le mea a tamaali’i fa’asala, a o le mea a tufanua fa’alumaina._ ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 1999, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-fallen-off-the-wagon-and-i-cant-get-up/13116/16 "1999-11-12T14:10:00Z")
- Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh, Camelot ! - It’s only a model… Hi, Ursa Major. ## I’m Coldfire, a bit of an addict, heard a lot about you, I hear you like Icelandic people too ( 😉 ), why am I writing in telegram style, dunno, gotta go now, work to do. Coldfire * * * “You know how complex women are” - Neil Peart, Rush (1993) ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 1999, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-fallen-off-the-wagon-and-i-cant-get-up/13116/17 "1999-11-12T22:03:00Z")
Papa! Nice to see you, again. It’ll never work, though. Let’s begin the countdown to Ursa’s 1000th post. I’ll start the pool and hold the cash. ---
**Author:** ![Byzantine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/dfb087/32.png) [@Byzantine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Byzantine)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 1999, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-fallen-off-the-wagon-and-i-cant-get-up/13116/18 "1999-11-12T22:36:00Z")
## You left shortly after I came (God, I HATE when men do that!) 😉 I thought it was a conspiracy but obviously, it was you just getting back to your life! Glad to see you back, under any name! Best! Byz ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 1999, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-fallen-off-the-wagon-and-i-cant-get-up/13116/19 "1999-11-12T22:42:00Z")
Hi PapaBear! I’m Cristi. I don’t believe we’ve met. I’ve heard many wonderful things about you, though. I look forward to reading your stuff! If you ever get a day or three, come join the Guy Stuff thread! ---
**Author:** ![sly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e56c9b/32.png) [@sly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sly)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 1999, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-fallen-off-the-wagon-and-i-cant-get-up/13116/20 "1999-11-15T03:21:00Z")
Good to see you, UM. Check this: [http://www.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum4/HTML/001307.html](http://www.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum4/HTML/001307.html) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-fallen-off-the-wagon-and-i-cant-get-up/13116.md?page=2)