# I've got $20 million to burn. Tell me why I should invest $1 million of it in your start-up. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 23, 2010, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-20-million-to-burn-tell-me-why-i-should-invest-1-million-of-it-in-your-start-up/544266 "2010-06-23T19:27:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2010, 6:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-20-million-to-burn-tell-me-why-i-should-invest-1-million-of-it-in-your-start-up/544266/21 "2010-06-24T06:34:12Z")
If you don’t give me one million dollars, I will _blow up the moon!_ Wait, forgot who I was talking to. If you **DO** give me one million dollars, I will _blow up the moon!_ ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2010, 7:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-20-million-to-burn-tell-me-why-i-should-invest-1-million-of-it-in-your-start-up/544266/22 "2010-06-24T07:10:00Z")
In the finest Bodoni tradition, I will make you an offer you can’t refuse. Grandpa Bodoni and a couple of my uncles were in the Mafia, and I’m sure I can dig up a few old favors. I don’t know if I’d want to do so for just one million, though, so perhaps I’ll just go for it all. ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2010, 8:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-20-million-to-burn-tell-me-why-i-should-invest-1-million-of-it-in-your-start-up/544266/23 "2010-06-24T08:08:43Z")
Give me the money, because I have this great idea for a film. Which I cannot reveal here, in case some nefarious evildoer steals it from under my nose. ---
**Author:** ![Nobody](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/94ad74/32.png) [@Nobody](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nobody)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2010, 8:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-20-million-to-burn-tell-me-why-i-should-invest-1-million-of-it-in-your-start-up/544266/24 "2010-06-24T08:38:34Z")
This is a twelwe-storey block combining classical neo-Georgian features with the efficiency of modern techniques. The tenants arrive in the entrance hall here, and are carried along the corridor on a conveyor belt in extreme comfort and past murals depicting Mediterranean scenes, towards the rotating knives. The last twenty feet of the corridor are heavily soundproofed. The blood pours down these chutes and the mangled flesh slurps into these… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2010, 10:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-20-million-to-burn-tell-me-why-i-should-invest-1-million-of-it-in-your-start-up/544266/25 "2010-06-24T10:42:21Z")
I’m working on a PhD in molecular biology. If you fund my education, I will promise to be your personal researcher should the need ever arise. Whatever disease you come down with that promises to be your ultimate downfall, you’ll have one fully qualified research lab working night and day to find a cure. ---
**Author:** ![Love\_Rhombus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/love_rhombus/32/10694_2.png) [@Love\_Rhombus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Love_Rhombus)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2010, 12:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-20-million-to-burn-tell-me-why-i-should-invest-1-million-of-it-in-your-start-up/544266/26 "2010-06-24T12:08:36Z")
I want to start a pawnshop near a local casino. Think of all the interesting stuff you’d find! And you can sell some of your “found” items to interested collectors. Also, we’re quite far from large bodies of water. If that mattered to you for some reason. ---
**Author:** ![E-Sabbath](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e19adc/32.png) [@E-Sabbath](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E-Sabbath)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2010, 12:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-20-million-to-burn-tell-me-why-i-should-invest-1-million-of-it-in-your-start-up/544266/27 "2010-06-24T12:12:12Z")
Geez, and the best I could come up with was opening a chain of adult social gaming centers, including teleconferencing rooms, across the US. I think it’s an idea whose time has come, giving the gaming generation has come of age. Go out, smack talk, play each other… without that 13 year old screaming about gay. Admittedly, you have the 40 year old screaming about gay, but hey, at least it’s not as high pitched. Very nice, very tasteful, taking the… is it Amarillo Movie House? The one where they premiered Star Trek by surprise, as a theme. Not just video gaming, either, though that would be the primary focus. Local bands, good beer, decent food. Probably require more than a million for setup, though. Hm. Well, just a million dollars takes out my _second_ idea, the solar power panels on the moon beaming down to the Arizona Desert. I think it’s technically possible in five years, if the Falcon 9 stays functional. Sunspace’s house design is a pretty good one, but it seems limited as to max capacity and climate. These kind of houses have been around for at least 30 years, and never seem to have caught on. Not sure why. I like the ones where they design it to have grass growing over them. It’s very insulating. Aha! With One Meeeellion Dollars, I will attempt to get everyone in New York City to paint their rooftops white. > **[Scientists Wonder Whether Painting the World's Roofs White May Be One Way to...](https://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/06/13/AR2009061300866.html)** > > Could climate change be staved off by making the United States look like a scene from "Mamma Mia!"? It’s simple. It’s cost-effective. With that kind of money, I might be able to persuade an entire city… no, probably not, roofing gets expensive. But it’s worth a try. ---
**Author:** ![armedmonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2010, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-20-million-to-burn-tell-me-why-i-should-invest-1-million-of-it-in-your-start-up/544266/28 "2010-06-24T14:56:36Z")
Americans are growing more health and environmentally conscious, but salad dressings haven’t kept up with the times. I have developed one that is low calorie and benefits the environment, yet doesn’t sacrifice it’s attitude. I call it _Oil and Vinegar: Black_. For every 12 oz bottle purchased, we will remove 6 oz of oil from the gulf. Only the finest British Oil goes into _Oil and Vinegar: Black_. It will be huge. I predict it will spread everywhere. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2010, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-20-million-to-burn-tell-me-why-i-should-invest-1-million-of-it-in-your-start-up/544266/29 "2010-06-24T15:06:57Z")
> [@Smeghead](#): > > I’m working on a PhD in molecular biology. If you fund my education, I will promise to be your personal researcher should the need ever arise. Whatever disease you come down with that promises to be your ultimate downfall, you’ll have one fully qualified research lab working night and day to find a cure. Do you need the whole million for tuition, or will some of it be going toward a grant? Also, I’m more into CREATING diseases than curing them. 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2010, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-20-million-to-burn-tell-me-why-i-should-invest-1-million-of-it-in-your-start-up/544266/30 "2010-06-24T15:11:02Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > Also, I’m more into CREATING diseases than curing them. 🆒 Again, dude-_The Caffederm Patch._ It doesn’t cure jack, and there are millions of potential customers out there who buy your product for-freaking-_evar_! ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2010, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-20-million-to-burn-tell-me-why-i-should-invest-1-million-of-it-in-your-start-up/544266/31 "2010-06-24T15:13:53Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > Again, dude-_The Caffederm Patch._ It doesn’t cure jack, and there are millions of potential customers out there who buy your product for-freaking-_evar_! Oh, hell, man, you were the first one pitching a COFFEE-BASED PRODUCT. I thought my approval was implicit in the fact that I am me. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2010, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-20-million-to-burn-tell-me-why-i-should-invest-1-million-of-it-in-your-start-up/544266/32 "2010-06-24T15:43:28Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > Oh, hell, man, you were the first one pitching a COFFEE-BASED PRODUCT. I thought my approval was implicit in the fact that I am me. The only thing implicit in the fact that you are you is the very great possibility that I’ll soon be sleeping with the fishes and _your_ name will end up on the patent. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2010, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-20-million-to-burn-tell-me-why-i-should-invest-1-million-of-it-in-your-start-up/544266/33 "2010-06-24T15:50:32Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > The only thing implicit in the fact that you are you is the very great possibility that I’ll soon be sleeping with the fishes and _your_ name will end up on the patent. 😃 It would be foolish of me to off someone who came up with a profitable idea. You might come up with another, after all. ---
**Author:** ![Ace309](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ace309/32/1050_2.png) [@Ace309](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ace309)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2010, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-20-million-to-burn-tell-me-why-i-should-invest-1-million-of-it-in-your-start-up/544266/34 "2010-06-24T15:53:17Z")
My startup idea is to produce a chintzy plastic trinket and give several away to popular girls named Heather at the local middle school. Our projected profits for September through December 2010 are $4 billion. Our projected profits for 2011 are $1. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2010, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-20-million-to-burn-tell-me-why-i-should-invest-1-million-of-it-in-your-start-up/544266/35 "2010-06-24T15:54:36Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > It would be foolish of me to off someone who came up with a profitable idea. You might come up with another, after all. Speaking of which, tell me how this grabs you: along the lines of edible panties-_Edible Tampons_! ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Plastic\_Ninja](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f07891/32.png) [@Little\_Plastic\_Ninja](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Plastic_Ninja)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2010, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-20-million-to-burn-tell-me-why-i-should-invest-1-million-of-it-in-your-start-up/544266/36 "2010-06-24T16:50:00Z")
> [@E-Sabbath](#): > > Very nice, very tasteful, taking the… is it Amarillo Movie House? The one where they premiered Star Trek by surprise, as a theme. I think that’s the Alamo Drafthouse. Nimoy showed up too. I was incredibly disappointed because I WANTED to go to the screening of Wrath of Khan – such a great movie! – but I was working and did not get to meet my hero. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2010, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-20-million-to-burn-tell-me-why-i-should-invest-1-million-of-it-in-your-start-up/544266/37 "2010-06-24T17:04:53Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > Do you need the whole million for tuition, or will some of it be going toward a grant? What, you want an itemized invoice? Just fork over the million, and you’ll have one (1) qualified PhD in your corner. > [@](#): > > Also, I’m more into CREATING diseases than curing them. 🆒 I’m flexible. Let’s talk. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Plastic\_Ninja](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f07891/32.png) [@Little\_Plastic\_Ninja](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Plastic_Ninja)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2010, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-20-million-to-burn-tell-me-why-i-should-invest-1-million-of-it-in-your-start-up/544266/38 "2010-06-24T17:07:03Z")
Oh, as for me, I will market the perfect game: MoneyQuest. This is based on the phenomenon of goldbuying and powerleveling – people will pay to buy the game, pay for the subscription, and then pay someone else to play. Why not cut out the middleman? I’ll make a game with fantastic graphics that you don’t have to play. You’ll have a beautifully rendered website with your character’s stats, their awesome magics and weapons and armor and everything else important to you, all dependent on how much money you give us. Worried that you’re not as awesome as your neighbor? Just send us another fifty bucks and we’ll give you your very own dragon. As long as you can outspend them, your gameplay ability doesn’t matter one bit. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2010, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-20-million-to-burn-tell-me-why-i-should-invest-1-million-of-it-in-your-start-up/544266/39 "2010-06-24T18:07:11Z")
> [@Smeghead](#): > > What, you want an itemized invoice? Just fork over the million, and you’ll have one (1) qualified PhD in your corner. Silly **Smeghead**. I was asking if you \*\*needed \*\*a grant, not being chintzy. You might have gotten TWO million smackers. ---
**Author:** ![E-Sabbath](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e19adc/32.png) [@E-Sabbath](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E-Sabbath)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2010, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-20-million-to-burn-tell-me-why-i-should-invest-1-million-of-it-in-your-start-up/544266/40 "2010-06-24T18:09:18Z")
Atari’s already got Cryptic doing that, LPN. I still like the idea of a giant ad campaign to paint every rooftop in America white. It’s not that it has beneficial side effects, it’s just that it seems so horribly pointless. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-20-million-to-burn-tell-me-why-i-should-invest-1-million-of-it-in-your-start-up/544266.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-20-million-to-burn-tell-me-why-i-should-invest-1-million-of-it-in-your-start-up/544266.md?page=3)