# I've got 99 cookies
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-99-cookies/607524
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [December 27, 2011, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-99-cookies/607524 "2011-12-27T15:41:33Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)
#### Post date: [December 27, 2011, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-99-cookies/607524/1 "2011-12-27T15:41:33Z")
If you’re having oven problems I can feel for you, son
I’ve got 99 cookies cuz a bitch ate one
Bitch needs to keep her nasty fingers outta my Christmas cookies.
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### Author:  [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)
#### Post date: [December 27, 2011, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-99-cookies/607524/2 "2011-12-27T15:42:50Z")
More egg, less nog.
'K?
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### Author:  [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)
#### Post date: [December 27, 2011, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-99-cookies/607524/3 "2011-12-27T15:47:37Z")
99 luft cookies
Cooling in the winter breeze
The President is on the line
But the 99 luft cookies are mine
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### Author:  [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)
#### Post date: [December 27, 2011, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-99-cookies/607524/4 "2011-12-27T15:55:23Z")
Bitch is obviously a 1-percenter.
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### Author:  [@FatBaldGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FatBaldGuy)
#### Post date: [December 27, 2011, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-99-cookies/607524/5 "2011-12-27T16:01:12Z")
Take one down and pass it around,
98 Christmas cookies on the wall.
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### Author:  [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)
#### Post date: [December 27, 2011, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-99-cookies/607524/6 "2011-12-27T16:03:58Z")
I got’s to know: what kind of cookies? I can’t get excited unless I know the kind of cookies I’m pulling for (or against) in this game.
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### Author:  [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)
#### Post date: [December 27, 2011, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-99-cookies/607524/7 "2011-12-27T16:13:31Z")
> [@Zeldar](#):
>
> I got’s to know: what kind of cookies?
When I hear “Christmas Cookies” I assume your basic sugar cookies in the shapes of trees, stars, etc. with red and/or green icing. And sprinkles.
99 of them is like a five year supply for me. Want one?
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### Author:  [@Rachellelogram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachellelogram)
#### Post date: [December 27, 2011, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-99-cookies/607524/8 "2011-12-27T16:14:46Z")
Now you have 98 cookies. /pluck
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### Author:  [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)
#### Post date: [December 27, 2011, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-99-cookies/607524/9 "2011-12-27T16:17:08Z")
Clearly, **Frank** has been checkin out my baked goods as well. Why’s everybody got to put their eyballs on my cookies? Do they owe you money? No? Then leave them alone. Shit, people, make your own goddamned cookies!
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### Author:  [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)
#### Post date: [December 27, 2011, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-99-cookies/607524/10 "2011-12-27T16:23:33Z")
> [@Frank](#):
>
> When I hear “Christmas Cookies” I assume your basic sugar cookies in the shapes of trees, stars, etc. with red and/or green icing. And sprinkles.
>
> 99 of them is like a five year supply for me. Want one?
I had that sort in mind as a good bet. I would limit myself to 10 if they’re the right size. Those Danish wedding cookies are the type that I will eat all of if they’re unprotected. I can’t decide if it’s the confectioner’s sugar or the pecans, but they do not sit still whenever I’m near them.
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### Author:  [@enomaj](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enomaj)
#### Post date: [December 27, 2011, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-99-cookies/607524/11 "2011-12-27T17:04:33Z")
You should have baked either 96 or 108 cookies. Baked goods must be a multiple of 12.
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### Author:  [@The\_Surb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Surb)
#### Post date: [December 27, 2011, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-99-cookies/607524/12 "2011-12-27T17:12:09Z")
You’re lucky, my bitch ate a whole tray of about 30 cookies. She was not feeling well afterwards.
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### Author:  [@SnakesCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SnakesCatLady)
#### Post date: [December 27, 2011, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-99-cookies/607524/13 "2011-12-27T17:29:23Z")
_sneaks off with a cookie while **Inigo Montoya** is at computer_
…97
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### Author:  [@Heart\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heart_of_Dorkness)
#### Post date: [December 27, 2011, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-99-cookies/607524/14 "2011-12-27T17:38:41Z")
_yoink!_
…96.
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### Author:  [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)
#### Post date: [December 27, 2011, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-99-cookies/607524/15 "2011-12-27T17:49:52Z")
Too many cookies for one mouth to be eating
Too many cookies for one mouth to munch on
I’m gonna eat 96 cookies
I’m gonna eat 96 cookies
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### Author:  [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)
#### Post date: [December 27, 2011, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-99-cookies/607524/16 "2011-12-27T17:59:15Z")
**Inigo** has cookies of 95;
I’m not sure they’ll make it out alive.
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### Author:  [@Achren](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Achren)
#### Post date: [December 27, 2011, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-99-cookies/607524/17 "2011-12-27T18:17:12Z")
Not this one, for sure.
_swipe_
94 COOKIES REMAIN
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### Author:  [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)
#### Post date: [December 27, 2011, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-99-cookies/607524/18 "2011-12-27T18:37:12Z")
Ran CCleaner on his cookie tray-73 cookies left.
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### Author:  [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)
#### Post date: [December 27, 2011, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-99-cookies/607524/19 "2011-12-27T19:34:54Z")
As People’s Commissar for Cookie Distribution, I confiscate these two cookies in the name of the Revolution. One for distribution, one for quality control testing. Your quota for next year will be one hundred and two cookies.
(munch)
Your quota for next year is zero cookies.
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### Author:  [@Mom-of-Andrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mom-of-Andrew)
#### Post date: [December 28, 2011, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-99-cookies/607524/20 "2011-12-28T00:29:36Z")
::tiptoes in quietly, grabs a cookie::
We’re back to an even number (70). The OCD people can relax.
Just doin’ my duty, folks
::tiptoes out quietly::
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