# I've got a great idea for a movie **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [September 23, 2009, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-a-great-idea-for-a-movie/511299 "2009-09-23T21:55:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2009, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-a-great-idea-for-a-movie/511299/21 "2009-09-24T04:16:08Z")
**"Some Kind Of Joke"** : A Priest, a Minister, and a Rabbi go on a road trip across Europe, to clean up its depravity. Hilarity ensues when they encounter nude beaches, dope-loving Amsterdam, and a Swedish porn film. **"Marianas Trench"** : A Navy submarine crew break protocol by allowing a woman on the crew, which curses them. Trapped on the ocean floor, they are killed off one by one by a creature that sneaked on board through a torpedo tube. Starring Vin Diesel and Jennifer Alba. **"Locked In"** : The contestants of a Reality Show, monitored and controlled by a computer, are locked inside an underground house, unaware that there has been a nuclear war outside. The computer sets them previously-programmed automated tasks that eventually start to go horribly wrong. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2009, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-a-great-idea-for-a-movie/511299/22 "2009-09-24T04:26:53Z")
> [@GuanoLad](#): > > **“Locked In”** : The contestants of a Reality Show, monitored and controlled by a computer, are locked inside an underground house, unaware that there has been a nuclear war outside. The computer sets them previously-programmed automated tasks that eventually start to go horribly wrong. That one would make me scream, even if I had no mouth. ---
**Author:** ![Isamu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7c8e57/32.png) [@Isamu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isamu)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2009, 5:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-a-great-idea-for-a-movie/511299/23 "2009-09-24T05:27:46Z")
Here’s my contribution. Luckson Laizer, Attorney-at –Loa Native-born Haitian immigrant to the USA, Luckson Laizer, has finally made it: - he graduated law school, set up his own sole-proprietorship law firm and business is thriving. In three years of practice he is yet to have an unsatisfied client. Whether by straight-out courtroom victories, or by profoundly lucky twists of fate, Luckson always gets a positive result for his clients, and by word of mouth his practise is growing by leaps and bounds. However, when ambitious young reporter, Redaline Estime seeks to interview the young legal star and get to know the man behind the firm, she uncovers shocking indications that Luckson’s success may stem less from his legal ability and more from his cultural voodoo heritage. ]] Quirky comedy/suspense. Owes something to “The Devil’s Advocate” (film) and “Count Zero” (Book) ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2009, 6:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-a-great-idea-for-a-movie/511299/24 "2009-09-24T06:28:58Z")
“Eighteen Little Indians” A strict Christian family asked for all the children God offered them, and ended up with eighteen. Seventeen of them grew up well-adjusted, but the other one…not so much, though that child hides it well enough to function. When they youngest is about to start college, the family vacations together one last time on a remote island. Before long, the kids start dying off in gruesome ways. One of the siblings is the killer, but which one? ---
**Author:** ![EvilTOJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee59a6/32.png) [@EvilTOJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EvilTOJ)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2009, 7:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-a-great-idea-for-a-movie/511299/25 "2009-09-24T07:05:23Z")
> [@Johnny\_L.A](#): > > That one would make me scream, even if I had no mouth. Bravo. _golf clap_ > [@elfkin477](#): > > “Eighteen Little Indians” > > A strict Christian family asked for all the children God offered them, and ended up with eighteen. Seventeen of them grew up well-adjusted, but the other one…not so much, though that child hides it well enough to function. When they youngest is about to start college, the family vacations together one last time on a remote island. Before long, the kids start dying off in gruesome ways. One of the siblings is the killer, but which one? Is this the next season of [18 Kids and Counting](http://health.discovery.com/tv/duggars/tune-in-18-kids.html)? Statistically someone in that family is mentally disturbed in some way. ---
**Author:** ![Leaper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/4bbf92/32.png) [@Leaper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaper)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2009, 7:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-a-great-idea-for-a-movie/511299/26 "2009-09-24T07:23:44Z")
> [@elfkin477](#): > > “Eighteen Little Indians” > > A strict Christian family asked for all the children God offered them, and ended up with eighteen. So wouldn’t that be _Twenty_ Little Indians? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Snooooopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2009, 7:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-a-great-idea-for-a-movie/511299/27 "2009-09-24T07:56:56Z")
> [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](#): > > Tell me if this _isn’t_ a guaranteed blockbuster success, as measured in popcorn consumed. > > The title is _A Million To One_. Not sure if it’s horror, comedy, or both. > Joe Protagonist is cursed by an irritable devil-worshipping Gypsy in an ancient Indian burial ground. Or something like that. Suddenly, all sorts of highly improbably things start happening to him. Winning the lottery, getting hit by lightning- that sort of stuff. Being on a highjacked plane. Collapsing of a rare heart disorder triggered by a slapstick chain of events- right in front of the world’s top expert in rare heart diseases. Meeting the Designated Love Interest (which is begging for some sort of cheesy quote). Of course, many unlikely occurances involve gruesome death from ordinary objects, so Our Hero must find a way to undo the curse before it’s too late. The odds are a million-to-one against him… > > What do you think the odds are of this becoming a “major motion picture”? There was a little-loved TV series called “Strange Luck” back in the 1990s that had a similar premise (but working the weirdness angle, not the gruesomeness angle). Who knows? Maybe you’ll do a better job. ---
**Author:** ![Charger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df788c/32.png) [@Charger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Charger)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2009, 8:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-a-great-idea-for-a-movie/511299/28 "2009-09-24T08:13:54Z")
High school nerd develops a raging crush on the head cheerleader/prom queen. Being the most popular and pretty girl in school, she harshly shoots him down the day he finally summons the courage nervously to ask her out. He finds an ancient spell to make them soulmates, or give them a better understanding of each other. Upon uttering the magic words, the two swap bodies. The girl-in-nerd-body uses her confidence and aggression to establish a new jock-like persona for his lanky body. He goes off to become a basketball player. The nerd-in-cheerleader body becomes ultra-girly-girl, thinking that’s how girls are, and having his own timid personality. They do the talk-show circuit and become national celebrities having experienced such a strange thing. People ome from all over to try to find out how it happened, psychologists are amazed by them, many people think it’s a scam, etc. The two, having previously been frustrated with their gender role expectations, find themselves more comfortable in their new skins and are much happier, radiant new people. Next summer’s big “teen flick.” ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2009, 8:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-a-great-idea-for-a-movie/511299/29 "2009-09-24T08:54:29Z")
> [@Snooooopy](#): > > There was a little-loved TV series called “Strange Luck” back in the 1990s that had a similar premise (but working the weirdness angle, not the gruesomeness angle). Who knows? Maybe you’ll do a better job. Many, many years ago, Brenda Blethyn and Simon Callow had a sitcom in the UK about unlikely good- and bad luck, called _Chance In A Million_. But that’s not really similar to anything else mentioned here. ---
**Author:** ![Don\_Draper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b2d939/32.png) [@Don\_Draper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_Draper)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2009, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-a-great-idea-for-a-movie/511299/30 "2009-09-24T14:38:32Z")
Two New York Brooklyn boys - one a jew (Ben Stiller) and the other a muslim (Sasha Baron Cohen) move to the north district of Isreal and open up a dairy produce shop. The title: **Cheeses of Nazareth** ---
**Author:** ![Love\_Rhombus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/love_rhombus/32/10694_2.png) [@Love\_Rhombus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Love_Rhombus)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2009, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-a-great-idea-for-a-movie/511299/31 "2009-09-24T14:46:31Z")
And of course, there was the blockbuster starring Danny Glover and Martin Short: [Pure Luck](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pure_Luck). A hydrophobe must conquer his fears to recover sunken treasure. His heartwarming story of therapy and hope? **Splashdance**. In an abandoned school, a disgraced brain surgeon and failed reality-show dancer uses his skills to create the most perfect artists the world will ever know. Starring Megan Fox and Chad Michael Murray (because I hate them both): **La Bambatomy**. ---
**Author:** ![ToeJam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dfb087/32.png) [@ToeJam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ToeJam)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2009, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-a-great-idea-for-a-movie/511299/32 "2009-09-24T18:07:12Z")
> [@The New and Improved Superman](#): > > Two New York Brooklyn boys - one a jew (Ben Stiller) and the other a muslim (Sasha Baron Cohen) move to the north district of Isreal and open up a dairy produce shop. > > The title: **Cheeses of Nazareth** Couldn’t we use a real Muslim though, or are you trying to go for the Borat sort of parody where both roles are played by Jewish people? ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2009, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-a-great-idea-for-a-movie/511299/33 "2009-09-24T18:07:16Z")
> [@GuanoLad](#): > > **“Marianas Trench”** : A Navy submarine crew break protocol by allowing a woman on the crew, which curses them. Trapped on the ocean floor, they are killed off one by one by a creature that sneaked on board through a torpedo tube. Starring Vin Diesel and Jennifer Alba. Would the porn version be titled “Mariana’s Trench”? 😛 ---
**Author:** ![It\_s\_Not\_Rocket\_Surgery](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/it_s_not_rocket_surgery/32/312_2.png) [@It\_s\_Not\_Rocket\_Surgery](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/It_s_Not_Rocket_Surgery)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2009, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-a-great-idea-for-a-movie/511299/34 "2009-09-24T18:22:29Z")
> [@GuanoLad](#): > > \*\* > **“Marianas Trench”** : A Navy submarine crew break protocol by allowing a woman on the crew, which curses them. Trapped on the ocean floor, they are killed off one by one by a creature that sneaked on board through a torpedo tube. Starring Vin Diesel and Jennifer Alba. Would this movie be set in the 1960s and run for 20 minutes? ---
**Author:** ![tanstaafl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ba8739/32.png) [@tanstaafl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tanstaafl)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2009, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-a-great-idea-for-a-movie/511299/35 "2009-09-24T18:27:16Z")
> [@GuanoLad](#): > > **“Marianas Trench”** : A Navy submarine crew break protocol by allowing a woman on the crew, which curses them. Trapped on the ocean floor, they are killed off one by one by a creature that sneaked on board through a torpedo tube. Starring Vin Diesel and Jennifer Alba. No one would be able to watch it more than once, and then only for 20 minutes. ---
**Author:** ![Hampshire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hampshire/32/4887_2.png) [@Hampshire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hampshire)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2009, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-a-great-idea-for-a-movie/511299/36 "2009-09-24T20:08:49Z")
A brilliant mathematician/scientist/physicist who has developed ground breaking weapons systems for the government has severe guilt and remorse when faced with the realities of death he has created. He disappears from society, takes solace in a remote monastery, and becomes obsessed with Christianity and the life of Jesus Christ. His scientific obsession for finding the “truths” about the world leads him to developing the first working time machine. After two successful trial runs (one in which he goes back 5 years to resentfully watch himself creating weapons of death, and the other where he returns to WWII for a week to meet and talk to his father on the front lines before witnessing his death) he prepares for his ultimate journey. To meet face to face with Jesus Christ and get all his questions answered. Upon arriving in ancient Jerusalem he is distraught when he can find no traces or evidence of Jesus’ exsistence. Slowly losing grip on reality and still obsessed with finding the man they call Jesus he takes it upon himself to create the myth/legend himself and become Jesus Christ. He performs miracles using modern science tricks to garner followers and even convinces a mentally disturbed woman that he indeed is her son. He plans to fake his death when crucified, reveal hiself again to his disciples, and then return to modern times. All does not go as planned and he ends up dying during the crucifiction. (ending I) His dedicated disciples then invent the story of his resurrection and begin the legend of Jesus Christ the man. (ending II) His disciples feel immediately duped, completely forget about him, and he becomes a lost memory to anyone he came into contact with. Meanwhile almost a hundred miles away man and his pregnant wife search for a place to stay for the night. ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2009, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-a-great-idea-for-a-movie/511299/37 "2009-09-24T22:32:13Z")
> [@Hampshire](#): > > A brilliant mathematician/scientist/physicist who has developed ground breaking weapons systems for the government has severe guilt and remorse when faced with the realities of death he has created. > He disappears from society, takes solace in a remote monastery, and becomes obsessed with Christianity and the life of Jesus Christ. His scientific obsession for finding the “truths” about the world leads him to developing the first working time machine. After two successful trial runs (one in which he goes back 5 years to resentfully watch himself creating weapons of death, and the other where he returns to WWII for a week to meet and talk to his father on the front lines before witnessing his death) he prepares for his ultimate journey. To meet face to face with Jesus Christ and get all his questions answered. > Upon arriving in ancient Jerusalem he is distraught when he can find no traces or evidence of Jesus’ exsistence. Slowly losing grip on reality and still obsessed with finding the man they call Jesus he takes it upon himself to create the myth/legend himself and become Jesus Christ. He performs miracles using modern science tricks to garner followers and even convinces a mentally disturbed woman that he indeed is her son. He plans to fake his death when crucified, reveal hiself again to his disciples, and then return to modern times. > All does not go as planned and he ends up dying during the crucifiction. > (ending I) His dedicated disciples then invent the story of his resurrection and begin the legend of Jesus Christ the man. > (ending II) His disciples feel immediately duped, completely forget about him, and he becomes a lost memory to anyone he came into contact with. Meanwhile almost a hundred miles away man and his pregnant wife search for a place to stay for the night. Maybe I’ve been whooshed, but do you know that is almost exactly the plot of **Behold the Man**? ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2009, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-a-great-idea-for-a-movie/511299/38 "2009-09-24T22:36:53Z")
> [@Leaper](#): > > So wouldn’t that be _Twenty_ Little Indians? 🙂 No. The crazy one doesn’t get around to offing mom and pop, just the sibs. ---
**Author:** ![Uosdwis\_R.Dewoh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Uosdwis\_R.Dewoh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uosdwis_R.Dewoh)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2009, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-a-great-idea-for-a-movie/511299/39 "2009-09-24T23:43:09Z")
A young jihadist (that guy from _Harold & Kumar go to White Castle_) and his fellow martyrs hijack a plane with the intent to fly it into a skyscraper (Sears tower or whatever it’s called now). Trouble starts when he falls in love with the girl who sits next to him. Now he has to not only win the girl’s heart, but also stop the plane from crashing. Hilarity ensues. I’m thinking a hilarious scene involving a small dog (maybe a terrier) and a box cutter. Also, an old man dies of a heart attack, literally scared to death, and a man wets himself of fright. I’m sure we can jam in a diarrhea and the toilet floods bit… too funny. The title: _There’s Something About Terrified Passenger In Seat 78 B_ Too soon? ---
**Author:** ![Tangent](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tangent/32/3098_2.png) [@Tangent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tangent)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2009, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-a-great-idea-for-a-movie/511299/40 "2009-09-25T01:25:15Z")
> [@GuanoLad](#): > > [BStarring Vin Diesel and **Jennifer** Alba. Jessica’s hotter sister? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-a-great-idea-for-a-movie/511299.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-a-great-idea-for-a-movie/511299.md?page=3)