# I've got a S.E.C.R.E.T.(Agency, that is)
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-a-s-e-c-r-e-t-agency-that-is/659809
**Category:** Cafe Society
**Created:** [May 31, 2013, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-a-s-e-c-r-e-t-agency-that-is/659809 "2013-05-31T21:07:34Z")
**Posts on this page:** 19
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)
#### Post date: [May 31, 2013, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-a-s-e-c-r-e-t-agency-that-is/659809/1 "2013-05-31T21:07:34Z")
In real life that are numerous government spy agencies, but there seem to be many more fictional ones. Which of the ones from [this list](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_fictional_espionage_organizations) would you want to be recruited into?
I’d be willing to work for U.N.I.T. or S.H.I.E.L.D.
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### Author:  [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)
#### Post date: [May 31, 2013, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-a-s-e-c-r-e-t-agency-that-is/659809/2 "2013-05-31T21:18:12Z")
K.A.O.S. of course. And maybe Z.O.W.I.E… Flint was cool.
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### Author:  [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)
#### Post date: [May 31, 2013, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-a-s-e-c-r-e-t-agency-that-is/659809/3 "2013-05-31T22:37:44Z")
C.O.B.R.A. (Criminal Organization of Bloodiness, Revenge and Assassination), because they have cool uniforms, [and inspiring leadership.](http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lmtutuCY7H1qcef4wo1_1280.jpg)
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### Author:  [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)
#### Post date: [May 31, 2013, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-a-s-e-c-r-e-t-agency-that-is/659809/4 "2013-05-31T23:13:05Z")
Huh, I’d no idea Cobra was an initialism.
There’s always C.O.P.S., the Central Organizatrion of Police Specialists. They get lots of nifty cyborgian toys to play with. They’re not really spies or secret, though.
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### Author:  [@April\_R](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/April_R)
#### Post date: [May 31, 2013, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-a-s-e-c-r-e-t-agency-that-is/659809/5 "2013-05-31T23:20:23Z")
C.L.I.T.O.R.I.S. (The Committee for the Liberation and Integration of Terrifying Organisms and their Rehabilitation Into Society), fromRed Dwarf
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### Author:  [@LawMonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LawMonkey)
#### Post date: [May 31, 2013, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-a-s-e-c-r-e-t-agency-that-is/659809/6 "2013-05-31T23:41:37Z")
Sign me up for I.S.I.S.
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### Author:  [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)
#### Post date: [May 31, 2013, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-a-s-e-c-r-e-t-agency-that-is/659809/7 "2013-05-31T23:44:28Z")
I am afraid I’d be right at home at CONTROL, though now I see it puts me at odd with Silenus. I’d say more but my shoe is ringing.
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### Author:  [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)
#### Post date: [May 31, 2013, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-a-s-e-c-r-e-t-agency-that-is/659809/8 "2013-05-31T23:48:22Z")
> [@April\_R](#):
>
> C.L.I.T.O.R.I.S. (The Committee for the Liberation and Integration of Terrifying Organisms and their Rehabilitation Into Society), fromRed Dwarf
[“Citizens of Utah, stimulation of the CLIT is not recommended.”](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NCatFyP9tKo&feature=related)
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### Author:  [@Amateur\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amateur_Barbarian)
#### Post date: [June 1, 2013, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-a-s-e-c-r-e-t-agency-that-is/659809/9 "2013-06-01T00:32:46Z")
Whatever group we join, I want to be the Supreme Head of Intelligence Targeting.
No, wait… never mind.
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### Author:  [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)
#### Post date: [June 1, 2013, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-a-s-e-c-r-e-t-agency-that-is/659809/10 "2013-06-01T01:09:56Z")
Yeah, I’d dig being the Man from UNCLE or ZOWIE but would be likely to only be hired by CONTROL.
From the linked article:
> [@](#):
>
> UNIT was rebranded as the UNified Intelligence Taskforce in 2008, after the United Nations expressed its discomfort with being associated with a fictional paramilitary organization
Or maybe they’re just lame stuffed shirts, annoyed their real “peacekeeping” gigs never had a CO as awesome as the late Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart.
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### Author:  [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)
#### Post date: [June 1, 2013, 5:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-a-s-e-c-r-e-t-agency-that-is/659809/11 "2013-06-01T05:39:59Z")
> [@Amateur\_Barbarian](#):
>
> Whatever group we join, I want to be the Supreme Head of Intelligence Targeting.
I’m sorry, we can’t offer you the top job. But would you be interested in being the Number Two man?
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### Author:  [@Tapiotar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapiotar)
#### Post date: [June 1, 2013, 11:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-a-s-e-c-r-e-t-agency-that-is/659809/12 "2013-06-01T11:40:20Z")
U.N.C.L.E., in the division that provides R & R for Ilya Kuryakin, assuming both of us have the bodies and faces we had in the 60’s, yes? Why yes, of course, this is fiction! We can do anything!
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### Author:  [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)
#### Post date: [June 1, 2013, 12:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-a-s-e-c-r-e-t-agency-that-is/659809/13 "2013-06-01T12:04:53Z")
Does Section 31 stand for anything?
(“not even the anthem! b-DOOM _kssh_”)
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### Author:  [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)
#### Post date: [June 1, 2013, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-a-s-e-c-r-e-t-agency-that-is/659809/14 "2013-06-01T14:13:55Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#):
>
> Which of the ones from [this list](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_fictional_espionage_organizations) would you want to be recruited into?
I reject your reality and substitute my own. I shall replace Mr. Harold Smith as the head of CURE.
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### Author:  [@furryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furryman)
#### Post date: [June 1, 2013, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-a-s-e-c-r-e-t-agency-that-is/659809/15 "2013-06-01T14:25:12Z")
I’d become a member of SPECTRE. When I see James Bond I’ll fall to the floor and pretend to be unconscious.
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### Author:  [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)
#### Post date: [June 1, 2013, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-a-s-e-c-r-e-t-agency-that-is/659809/16 "2013-06-01T14:49:02Z")
Then there’s [Bureau 13.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bureau_13)
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### Author:  [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)
#### Post date: [June 2, 2013, 6:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-a-s-e-c-r-e-t-agency-that-is/659809/17 "2013-06-02T06:18:01Z")
> [@Oakminster](#):
>
> I reject your reality and substitute my own. I shall replace Mr. Harold Smith as the head of CURE.
Unless he dies naturally or of his own volition, the only “head” you will be is a head rolling down the hallway.
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### Author:  [@si\_blakely](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/si_blakely)
#### Post date: [June 3, 2013, 9:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-a-s-e-c-r-e-t-agency-that-is/659809/18 "2013-06-03T09:21:26Z")
I want to be in the T.P.F.
_“Power to the People”_
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### Author:  [@Wilson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wilson)
#### Post date: [June 3, 2013, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-a-s-e-c-r-e-t-agency-that-is/659809/19 "2013-06-03T17:04:31Z")
Definitely G.R.O.S.S.