# I've got a secret. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 19, 2019, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-a-secret/845068 "2019-12-19T04:39:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2019, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-a-secret/845068/1 "2019-12-19T04:39:25Z")
I do. This is so secret I can never tell it. I have to go to my grave not telling. How AM I gonna do this? I have to go to the dentist in January, what if I blab it under the gas? :smack: ---
**Author:** ![nelliebly](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nelliebly/32/5422_2.png) [@nelliebly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nelliebly)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2019, 4:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-a-secret/845068/2 "2019-12-19T04:47:29Z")
No worries. You’ll have so much dental paraphernalia in your mouth, they won’t understand you anyway. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![PastTense](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pasttense/32/14550_2.png) [@PastTense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PastTense)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2019, 4:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-a-secret/845068/3 "2019-12-19T04:54:28Z")
You just tell the dentist you don’t want any gas. ---
**Author:** ![Isamu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7c8e57/32.png) [@Isamu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isamu)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2019, 5:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-a-secret/845068/4 "2019-12-19T05:13:38Z")
Waitaminute, is that the secret? That you don’t want any gas? ---
**Author:** ![RioRico](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f04885/32.png) [@RioRico](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RioRico)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2019, 5:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-a-secret/845068/5 "2019-12-19T05:20:29Z")
I had secrets I didn’t blab even when my then-dentist administered gas. The current tooth-doc doesn’t; I must pre-load on Norco. If I was gassed enough to blather, I’d likely be unintelligible. So just slur a lot. Pretend it’s poetry. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2019, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-a-secret/845068/6 "2019-12-19T05:29:30Z")
Shhhh. Don’t tell anyone: Racer X is really Speed’s brother Rex ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2019, 6:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-a-secret/845068/7 "2019-12-19T06:05:09Z")
Anything you say under gas comes with built-in plausible deniability. You can simply claim it was all Jibber-Jabber. But really. Just admit that you ran over your kid’s cat all those years ago. ---
**Author:** ![Dallas\_Jones](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dallas_jones/32/3277_2.png) [@Dallas\_Jones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dallas_Jones)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2019, 6:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-a-secret/845068/8 "2019-12-19T06:06:12Z")
Don’t worry, you got away with it. ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2019, 6:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-a-secret/845068/9 "2019-12-19T06:09:43Z")
It must be one bad, bad, bad secret! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![VOW](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/vow/32/3043_2.png) [@VOW](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VOW)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2019, 6:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-a-secret/845068/10 "2019-12-19T06:13:16Z")
You’re pregnant??? ~VOW ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2019, 6:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-a-secret/845068/11 "2019-12-19T06:21:08Z")
> [@VOW](#): > > You’re pregnant??? > ~VOW I am certain that secret might get noticed, after awhile. ---
**Author:** ![septimus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/septimus/32/410_2.png) [@septimus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/septimus)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2019, 6:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-a-secret/845068/12 "2019-12-19T06:27:34Z")
Is the secret something dentist would be obligated to report to police? If not, then just find a dentist who is also a Catholic priest — Make confession to him. Or, simpler, give the dentist a dollar extra as a lawyer’s retainer. Sure he’s not a member of the ABA, but — lawyers, help us here please — maybe a Doper can set up a little fake country and admit your dentist to its bar. How painful are your teeth? Can you tolerate the pain for another year or two? ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2019, 6:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-a-secret/845068/13 "2019-12-19T06:38:14Z")
The secret isnt illegal activity or dangerous to any ones life. It just needs to be kept secret. I am getting my teeth cleaned and my extensive implants scaled and scrubbed. I will be gassed and valiumed up. Cannot do it, otherwise. Too chicken. I like the idea of paying the dentist, the hygenist, the insurance lady, the receptionist. My driver. Man this is gonna cost a small fortune. ---
**Author:** ![Sunny\_Daze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunny_daze/32/438_2.png) [@Sunny\_Daze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunny_Daze)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2019, 6:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-a-secret/845068/14 "2019-12-19T06:39:55Z")
Just tell me and then it won’t be a burden that worries you any longer. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2019, 8:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-a-secret/845068/15 "2019-12-19T08:05:10Z")
I have a better idea. Y’all tell me a secret each. They’ll all get jumbled up in my brain. When I am yammering no one will understand. And ‘my’ secret will get lost in the crowd. Yep. That’s a dang good idea. Don’t worry. Your secret will be safe with me. Start postin’ them secrets. I’ll take notes. ---
**Author:** ![pool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pool/32/4152_2.png) [@pool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pool)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2019, 8:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-a-secret/845068/16 "2019-12-19T08:27:33Z")
I probably have some darker secrets than you, and I used to worry about spouting stuff out under anesthesia. I’ve gone under General about 3 times and varying degrees of other anesthesia and laughing gas but I never said anything weird that I’m aware of, I did tell the dentist how laughing gas was awesome while I was on it, he seemed casually amused. ---
**Author:** ![pool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pool/32/4152_2.png) [@pool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pool)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2019, 8:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-a-secret/845068/17 "2019-12-19T08:57:45Z")
Ok I admit it, sometimes I cheat at board games. 😕 I’m sorry. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2019, 11:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-a-secret/845068/18 "2019-12-19T11:31:23Z")
Just close your eyes and think of corndogs. ---
**Author:** ![Treppenwitz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treppenwitz/32/3445_2.png) [@Treppenwitz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Treppenwitz)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2019, 12:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-a-secret/845068/19 "2019-12-19T12:26:56Z")
When I did my Bronze swimming medal at age 12-or-so, I never did the full 22 lengths. I did 18 and lied. j ---
**Author:** ![Treppenwitz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treppenwitz/32/3445_2.png) [@Treppenwitz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Treppenwitz)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2019, 12:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-a-secret/845068/20 "2019-12-19T12:54:25Z")
(Missed the edit: Is the US word “laps” rather than “lengths”? Still. Pretty bad, huh?) j [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-a-secret/845068.md?page=2)