# I've got nothing bad for me to eat... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 27, 2005, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-nothing-bad-for-me-to-eat/323620 "2005-09-27T03:34:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Loopydude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e56c9b/32.png) [@Loopydude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loopydude)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2005, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-nothing-bad-for-me-to-eat/323620/1 "2005-09-27T03:34:39Z")
Dammit. Dammit dammit dammit. I gots me the munchies. Bad. No, I’m not stoned on reefer, I’ve just been seized by an overmastering craving for Fat-Fried Salty Munchables[sup]TM[/sup], and all we’ve got are…_fruit_. And _vegetables_. And whole wheat fucking bread. And low-fat cottage cheese. Fuck that. I want a bag of Doritos, goddamnit. Cool ranch, regular, I don’t give a shit. I want a big-ass tub of onion dip and enough Ruffles to choke a goat. I got tofu, _tofu_ in my fridge. Gah! Jeezus, the worst thing for me I could find was a fucking dill pickle. I need crap, and I need it now. Only it’s late, and I’m too tired and fucking lazy to run off to a 7-11. Plus, it’s humiliating to buy bags of junk food at midnight at a 7-11. It’s like being high and in college all over again. \ I know, I know, I should feel lucky to have any food at all and that this is all I have to bitch about. You’re right. Yep. Mmm-boy. What a good pickle. ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2005, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-nothing-bad-for-me-to-eat/323620/2 "2005-09-27T03:38:23Z")
I would’ve thought you’d be all about the Froot Loops. ---
**Author:** ![Loopydude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e56c9b/32.png) [@Loopydude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loopydude)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2005, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-nothing-bad-for-me-to-eat/323620/3 "2005-09-27T03:40:36Z")
I’ve got no junky sugary cereal either! Fuck! I would seriously love some Cap’n Crunch right now. But no! ---
**Author:** ![Nanoda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ce73a5/32.png) [@Nanoda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nanoda)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2005, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-nothing-bad-for-me-to-eat/323620/4 "2005-09-27T03:51:53Z")
If we can get a doctor to come in and denounce the pickle for excess sodium, would that help? 😃 If not, italian dressing on the Chex and sugar on the Corn Flakes - problems solved! ---
**Author:** ![Uvula\_Donor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/e19adc/32.png) [@Uvula\_Donor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uvula_Donor)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2005, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-nothing-bad-for-me-to-eat/323620/5 "2005-09-27T03:52:04Z")
Put a heavy skillet on the stove. Pour about half an inch of oil into it and put it over a fire. Cut up a potato or two into small cubes. When the oil is hot, dump in the tater cubes. Stir them around every few minutes or so until they’re brown and crunchy. Take them out of the oil and put them on a folded newspaper to drain. Salt them well and eat them while still hot and crisp. Mmmmm. Taters. ---
**Author:** ![Loopydude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e56c9b/32.png) [@Loopydude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loopydude)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2005, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-nothing-bad-for-me-to-eat/323620/6 "2005-09-27T03:57:02Z")
I got this ultra-healthy fucking cereal called “Oat Puffins”. It’s gonna take a lot of sugar. The taters thing, though…that’s got possibilities. Grease. Salt. Starch. The three essential shit groups. Off to see if I’ve got me some spuds… ---
**Author:** ![Loopydude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e56c9b/32.png) [@Loopydude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loopydude)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2005, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-nothing-bad-for-me-to-eat/323620/7 "2005-09-27T04:00:04Z")
NO SPUDS! God DAMN it! I do have an onion, though. And flour. Can I make onion rings out of that? ---
**Author:** ![Jaade](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/dfb087/32.png) [@Jaade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jaade)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2005, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-nothing-bad-for-me-to-eat/323620/8 "2005-09-27T04:02:35Z")
Yes. Do you have milk? Put the onions in milk for a second before you dip them in the flour. Crunchy goodness. ---
**Author:** ![ultrafilter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/3d9bf3/32.png) [@ultrafilter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultrafilter)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2005, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-nothing-bad-for-me-to-eat/323620/9 "2005-09-27T04:02:37Z")
[http://aggie-horticulture.tamu.edu/plantanswers/recipes/onionring.html](http://aggie-horticulture.tamu.edu/plantanswers/recipes/onionring.html) You might be able to do it. ---
**Author:** ![Jaade](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/dfb087/32.png) [@Jaade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jaade)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2005, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-nothing-bad-for-me-to-eat/323620/10 "2005-09-27T04:04:18Z")
Beer works, too. The milk just makes the flour clump on there really nicely, if you like the crunch. Of course, I figured you would add seasonings to taste… ---
**Author:** ![ultrafilter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/3d9bf3/32.png) [@ultrafilter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultrafilter)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2005, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-nothing-bad-for-me-to-eat/323620/11 "2005-09-27T04:07:39Z")
Beer and milk, though, is probably a bad combination. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2005, 4:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-nothing-bad-for-me-to-eat/323620/12 "2005-09-27T04:08:51Z")
If you stop by my office in the next 20 minutes, I’ll be glad to split my Hostess apple pie with you (“Real Fruit Filling!”). That’s more than a third of your recommended daily fat allowance. Mmmmmm. ---
**Author:** ![Sattua](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sattua/32/11906_2.png) [@Sattua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sattua)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2005, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-nothing-bad-for-me-to-eat/323620/13 "2005-09-27T04:09:10Z")
Rolled oats, milk, sugar, and cocoa powder. I grew up in a health-food household, let me tell you. ---
**Author:** ![Loopydude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e56c9b/32.png) [@Loopydude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loopydude)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2005, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-nothing-bad-for-me-to-eat/323620/14 "2005-09-27T04:11:55Z")
Man, I dunno. Onion rings look a bit involved. Seems like you have to deep-fat-fry the holy frack out of them, and it’s late. Crap. All I need is one lousy potato. Oh well, I’ll try to do some sort of half-assed breaded onion something-or-other and see how it goes. Enough salt and who knows? I got me some milk too, and onions dipped in milk is just whacked out enough that I simply can’t resist trying it. Off to the kitchen! ---
**Author:** ![Sevastopol](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cdc98d/32.png) [@Sevastopol](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sevastopol)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2005, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-nothing-bad-for-me-to-eat/323620/15 "2005-09-27T04:16:12Z")
\*fruit… vegetables… whole wheat fucking bread… low-fat cottage cheese … tofu, tofu in my fridge. \*. Them be the joys of married life. ---
**Author:** ![Stuffy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f17d59/32.png) [@Stuffy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stuffy)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2005, 4:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-nothing-bad-for-me-to-eat/323620/16 "2005-09-27T04:46:33Z")
Got any Zuchini? Fried Zhuchini is pretty good. Just flour season and fry. ---
**Author:** ![Stuffy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f17d59/32.png) [@Stuffy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stuffy)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2005, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-nothing-bad-for-me-to-eat/323620/17 "2005-09-27T04:48:24Z")
Wait I forget I was talking to another guy. Cut. Flour and Season. ---
**Author:** ![LavenderBlue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e95f7d/32.png) [@LavenderBlue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LavenderBlue)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2005, 4:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-nothing-bad-for-me-to-eat/323620/18 "2005-09-27T04:59:45Z")
Stick salt all over everything and you’ll feel better. ---
**Author:** ![Argent\_Towers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e8c25b/32.png) [@Argent\_Towers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Argent_Towers)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2005, 5:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-nothing-bad-for-me-to-eat/323620/19 "2005-09-27T05:12:43Z")
> [@Loopydude](#): > > Dammit. Dammit dammit dammit. I gots me the munchies. Bad. > > No, I’m not stoned on reefer, I’ve just been seized by an overmastering craving for Fat-Fried Salty Munchables[sup]TM[/sup] For God’s sake, JUST ADMIT IT!! ---
**Author:** ![Giant\_Spongess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/94ad74/32.png) [@Giant\_Spongess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giant_Spongess)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2005, 5:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-nothing-bad-for-me-to-eat/323620/20 "2005-09-27T05:41:08Z")
Have you got any tortillas? They fry up good in butter. Sigh. I should be sleeping, not craving food! Fuck! [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-nothing-bad-for-me-to-eat/323620.md?page=2)