# I've Got the Perfect Governmental System! **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [September 7, 2000, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-the-perfect-governmental-system/32387 "2000-09-07T18:08:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Dumbguy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/2bfe46/32.png) [@Dumbguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dumbguy)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2000, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-the-perfect-governmental-system/32387/21 "2000-09-07T20:39:54Z")
Clearly God intended bunnies to do our bidding. ---
**Author:** ![SeatTime](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9bcb4/32.png) [@SeatTime](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SeatTime)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2000, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-the-perfect-governmental-system/32387/22 "2000-09-07T20:49:35Z")
Sounds good, **Gadarene**. If we can ever settle the Bunny Labor issue, and it does come to pass that we’ll have bi-weekly visits, then you _must_ find a way to enlist the services of the Tooth Fairy. Of course, that’ll just raise another labor issue, but with all that chocolate-chomping going on, molars will be falling out of peoples heads like gnats in a fog of Raid[sup]tm[/sup]. ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2000, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-the-perfect-governmental-system/32387/23 "2000-09-07T21:18:56Z")
Darn it, how do I submit this thread to “Threadspotting”? ---
**Author:** ![oldscratch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ed655f/32.png) [@oldscratch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/oldscratch)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2000, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-the-perfect-governmental-system/32387/24 "2000-09-07T21:49:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by PeeQueue \* > \*\* > Actually, it is clearly impossible to do so since it has never been done before. > > \*\* Boy, good think you weren’t around during the American revolution. You would have stopped it cold with your logic :rolleyes: I’m with you on this one Gad. ---
**Author:** ![Gadarene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47c2d/32.png) [@Gadarene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gadarene)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2000, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-the-perfect-governmental-system/32387/25 "2000-09-07T22:08:23Z")
Psst… **oldscratch**! He’s arguing the side that _we_ usually take! Which means that you’re arguing for him…but since he’s already arguing for you, maybe you’re arguing for an as yet unnamed participant. And since **John Corrado** is an as yet unnamed participant, you must be arguing for _him_. But since he’s taking the communist side here, he’s really arguing for _you_. Which means…I’m confused. Back to spouting utopian platitudes. ---
**Author:** ![Necros](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/necros/32/11086_2.png) [@Necros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Necros)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2000, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-the-perfect-governmental-system/32387/26 "2000-09-07T22:38:31Z")
What about people who just ate and are full? Will they be _forced_ to eat chocolate? ---
**Author:** ![oldscratch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ed655f/32.png) [@oldscratch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/oldscratch)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2000, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-the-perfect-governmental-system/32387/27 "2000-09-07T23:39:04Z")
WTF necros !?! Did you even read the thread? Nowhere did Gad state that people would be fed chocolate. Simply that it ould be placed under the pillows. I would kindly ask you to stop misrepresenting the political theories of Gadarene. Since the chocloates are only left bi-weekly, clearly anyone but a simpleton could see that you get to choose when to eat them. ---
**Author:** ![Sterra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8c91f0/32.png) [@Sterra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sterra)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2000, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-the-perfect-governmental-system/32387/28 "2000-09-08T00:05:21Z")
What about the fact that chocolate when placed under a pillow explodes killing infants and making people poor? ---
**Author:** ![oldscratch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ed655f/32.png) [@oldscratch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/oldscratch)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2000, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-the-perfect-governmental-system/32387/29 "2000-09-08T00:11:13Z")
Well, if the infants are indeed killing, I have no problem with exploding them. ---
**Author:** ![Akatsukami](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ea666f/32.png) [@Akatsukami](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Akatsukami)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2000, 1:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-the-perfect-governmental-system/32387/30 "2000-09-08T13:19:38Z")
**necros** , in his bourgeois befuddlement, asks: > [@](#): > > What about people who just ate and are full? Will they be forced to eat chocolate? When the Revolution comes, running dog, you will eat chocolate and you will _like_ it! 😛 ---
**Author:** ![kabbes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e99b99/32.png) [@kabbes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kabbes)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2000, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-the-perfect-governmental-system/32387/31 "2000-09-08T13:46:28Z")
I disagree ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2000, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-the-perfect-governmental-system/32387/32 "2000-09-08T14:31:28Z")
Are we talkin’ white, milk, or dark semi-sweet chocolate here? I’m not trying to be divisive or prejudiced, I just want to be informed. Are we going to have government subsidies for cocoa powder producers? When’s duck season and what’s the bag limit, John? ---
**Author:** ![PeeQueue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8797f3/32.png) [@PeeQueue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PeeQueue)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2000, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-the-perfect-governmental-system/32387/33 "2000-09-08T14:35:43Z")
> [@](#): > > You would have stopped it cold with your logic You have clearly replaced worship of God with your worship of Logic. Why is your faith in Logic any different than my faith that Chocolatebunnyland cannot exist? Besides, what would happen in Chocolatebunnyland if these newly surviving infants got control of all the water in the world and wouldn’t let the Easter Bunny have any? PeeQueue ---
**Author:** ![xenophon41](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xenophon41/32/253_2.png) [@xenophon41](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xenophon41)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2000, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-the-perfect-governmental-system/32387/34 "2000-09-08T15:00:08Z")
> [@](#): > > _Besides, what would happen in Chocolatebunnyland if these newly surviving infants got control of all the water in the world and wouldn’t let the Easter Bunny have any?_ **PeeQueue** , I think that could best be explained by abitrarily introducing a hypothetical “justice-bot” into your scenario. The justice-bot could be programmed either with Chocolatebunnylandism philosophy, or with any of the various tyrannical philosophies which are alternatives to Chocolatebunnylandism. Now, under the Choco-etcetera programming, our justice-bot would of course allow the infants to monopolize the world water supply in an unfettered market, and the Easter Bunny would then die of thirst; _however_, this could be easily prevented by the 'bot simply by making water a currency, thereby invoking the “zero poverty” aspect of Chocolatebunnylandism. If programmed with any other political philosophy, the 'bot would undoubtedly confiscate property, coerce the citizenry and randomly generate poverty, infant mortality and chocolate shortages. ---
**Author:** ![Gilligan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Gilligan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gilligan)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2000, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-the-perfect-governmental-system/32387/35 "2000-09-08T15:19:15Z")
Don’t forget about PLANNED OBSOLESCENCE, in which the chocolate manufacturers control the quality of the chocolate distributed by Easter Bunny, Inc. By controlling the quality, Evil Choco-Makers ultimately control the happiness of The People[sub]TM[/sub]. ---
**Author:** ![Necros](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/necros/32/11086_2.png) [@Necros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Necros)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2000, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-the-perfect-governmental-system/32387/36 "2000-09-08T15:22:15Z")
I wasn’t trying to misrepresent **Gad** ’s political orientation. It’s just that this other guy on another message board explained the Chocolatebunnyland philosophy once, and he said some things that aren’t agreeing with what is being said here. But it’s not like what you’re talking about would ever really happen. I mean, I’d never vote for a candidate that ran on this platform. Because they have no chance of winning. Everyone knows that the US is a two-party system. Isn’t it, like, in the Constitution or something? ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2000, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-the-perfect-governmental-system/32387/37 "2000-09-08T16:23:08Z")
If the Easter Bunny were God, then diabetics would be demonized, and forced to stay in the closet. ---
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2000, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-the-perfect-governmental-system/32387/38 "2000-09-08T16:43:18Z")
Hey, I’m allergic to chocolate! (Really.) What happens to me in **Gadarene** ’s Chocolatebunnyland utopia? (_Sigh_…Kimstu, it’s not all about just little you.) ---
**Author:** ![Arnold\_Winkelried](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Arnold\_Winkelried](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arnold_Winkelried)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2000, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-the-perfect-governmental-system/32387/39 "2000-09-08T17:10:20Z")
Hold on just a sweet minute here. Who is going to pay for all these chocolates? Will the Easter Bunny send his minions to force the unwilling chocolate allergic people (like Kimstu) to contribute to this give-away? Why can’t people use their own wit and imagination to procure their own chocolate? (muttering darkly) ---
**Author:** ![Gilligan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Gilligan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gilligan)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2000, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-the-perfect-governmental-system/32387/40 "2000-09-08T19:44:54Z")
Gadarene hasn’t responded to the last several posts pointing out the problems with his proposal. This failure to respond must be taken as evidence that his “system” would never “work”. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-the-perfect-governmental-system/32387.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-got-the-perfect-governmental-system/32387.md?page=3)