# I've Had A Crap Day... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 28, 2011, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-had-a-crap-day/604377 "2011-11-28T21:52:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2011, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-had-a-crap-day/604377/1 "2011-11-28T21:52:10Z")
…and it’s up to you to do something about it. Let’s go…make with the funny/entertaining, chop chop! ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2011, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-had-a-crap-day/604377/2 "2011-11-28T22:01:40Z")
I’m not a machine - I can’t dance just because you demand it! Well, okay, I _can_, but it probably wouldn’t mean much to you, since you can’t see it. Oh, fine, I’ll do a little jig…there, happy? ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2011, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-had-a-crap-day/604377/3 "2011-11-28T22:04:26Z")
_ahem_ There once was a man from The Soo Whose limericks stopped at line two. * * * There once was a man from Verdun. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2011, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-had-a-crap-day/604377/4 "2011-11-28T22:06:55Z")
There once was a gal from Cal’gry Whose limericks had lines of three So, there you go. ---
**Author:** ![Nametag](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nametag/32/406_2.png) [@Nametag](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nametag)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2011, 4:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-had-a-crap-day/604377/5 "2011-11-29T04:52:33Z")
There once was a dude with the jive To end lim’rick poems at line five Not at the end – Heaven forfend! He’d just stop ---
**Author:** ![CairoCarol](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cairocarol/32/3825_2.png) [@CairoCarol](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CairoCarol)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2011, 5:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-had-a-crap-day/604377/6 "2011-11-29T05:28:21Z")
There once was a gal from the sticks Who was sure lim’rick lines should be six She wrote and she wrote And she wrote and she wrote And wrote and she wrote A rhyme best described as prolix. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2011, 5:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-had-a-crap-day/604377/7 "2011-11-29T05:31:36Z")
There once was a man from Canmore Whose limericks stopped at line four. He’d go for broke, Prepare the joke– ---
**Author:** ![Shawn\_K\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Shawn\_K\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shawn_K_1)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2011, 5:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-had-a-crap-day/604377/8 "2011-11-29T05:35:04Z")
Crap days? That’s bs I says. The only way to fix a bad day is the smash everyone that made it that way. If you’re feeling non-violent you can always find a fun game to play, or get philosophical and ask why the God(s) made life this tough some days. Or you could take some time, get some lime, mix a drink and relax until you’re feeling in the pink, that’s what I think. ---
**Author:** ![CairoCarol](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cairocarol/32/3825_2.png) [@CairoCarol](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CairoCarol)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2011, 9:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-had-a-crap-day/604377/9 "2011-11-29T09:34:54Z")
There once was a man named Kevin Who thought lim’rick lines should be seven That’s easy, said he Just break one in three (Or more, if it goes to eleven.) ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2011, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-had-a-crap-day/604377/10 "2011-11-29T13:26:37Z")
Quick - take one of [these](http://www.uncommongoods.com/product/emergency-clown-nose)- STAT! You’re welcome. ---
**Author:** ![6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/6/e19adc/32.png) [@6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2011, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-had-a-crap-day/604377/11 "2011-11-29T14:58:15Z")
…but what the hell does this Emergency Clown know, **FairyChatMom**? I pressed it, I asked it a deep, private, AND philosophical question and what did I get? NOTHING. Not a squirt of something. Not a sound of the 50’s honk - nada. I think you’re just crapping up **Hal Briston** ’s already crap day. ‘You’re welcome’ indeed… ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2011, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-had-a-crap-day/604377/12 "2011-11-29T16:03:16Z")
> [@FairyChatMom](#): > > Quick - take one of [these](http://www.uncommongoods.com/product/emergency-clown-nose)- STAT! > > You’re welcome. Fuck that – I want the [slang flash cards](http://bit.ly/sgcpXS). ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2011, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-had-a-crap-day/604377/13 "2011-11-29T16:11:32Z")
“I’ve Had A Crap” Day? For most of us, that describes practically every day. But if the OP is not in that group, well, congrats, OP! ---
**Author:** ![Cryptic\_C62](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3e96dc/32.png) [@Cryptic\_C62](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cryptic_C62)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2011, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-had-a-crap-day/604377/14 "2011-11-29T16:25:03Z")
There once was a man from Cologne Whose mouth had a mind of its own He frets and frets That he’s got Tourette’s SHIT PISS FUCK ASS ---
**Author:** ![pbbth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f9ae1b/32.png) [@pbbth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pbbth)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2011, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-had-a-crap-day/604377/15 "2011-11-29T16:45:18Z")
Would [boobies](http://aussieexotics.com/photo/?pic=36383&th=2569&po=82615&nm=boobies.jpg&thnm=Motivational-Posters-%28possibly-NWS%29&pstr=mondi) help? ---
**Author:** ![Haunted\_Pasta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/94ad74/32.png) [@Haunted\_Pasta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Haunted_Pasta)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2011, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-had-a-crap-day/604377/16 "2011-11-29T17:13:37Z")
There once was a poet named Klein And most of his poems were fine. The problem he had Was his limericks were bad Because he was always trying to fit way, way too many syllables- far more than should ever be included in any line of any kind of poetry, let alone the limerick, where an inappropriate syllabic structure completely ruins the cadence- into the closing line. Also, browsing YouTube for clips of “Big Train”, Simon Pegg’s old sketch comedy show, is good for laughs. I rather like the [Cake Factory](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JibxHpXqAfc) sketch, for starters. ---
**Author:** ![Lukeinva](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lukeinva/32/17872_2.png) [@Lukeinva](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lukeinva)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2011, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-had-a-crap-day/604377/17 "2011-11-29T17:34:38Z")
There once was a message board called the Dope. Where every request for a joke was not answered with a Nope. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2011, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-had-a-crap-day/604377/18 "2011-11-29T20:53:06Z")
> [@Cryptic\_C62](#): > > There once was a man from Cologne > Whose mouth had a mind of its own > He frets and frets > That he’s got Tourette’s > SHIT PISS FUCK ASS This made me laugh way too much. 😃 > [@pbbth](#): > > Would [boobies](http://aussieexotics.com/photo/?pic=36383&th=2569&po=82615&nm=boobies.jpg&thnm=Motivational-Posters-%28possibly-NWS%29&pstr=mondi) help? My, that IS a nice pair! ---
**Author:** ![FlyByNight512](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/82dd89/32.png) [@FlyByNight512](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FlyByNight512)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2011, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-had-a-crap-day/604377/19 "2011-11-30T00:20:19Z")
The Halleluiah Chorus from Handel’s Messiah is music only, but that didn’t stop a church from trying to do it as a stage show. Of course it goes horribly [wrong](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dErA4RBFoik)… (Youtube link, so warning for sound and possible uncontrollable giggles.) ---
**Author:** ![CairoCarol](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cairocarol/32/3825_2.png) [@CairoCarol](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CairoCarol)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2011, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-had-a-crap-day/604377/20 "2011-11-30T00:41:19Z")
> [@Cryptic\_C62](#): > > There once was a man from Cologne > Whose mouth had a mind of its own > He frets and frets > That he’s got Tourette’s > SHIT PISS FUCK ASS Sublime. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-had-a-crap-day/604377.md?page=2)