# I've Had a Vasectomy. I Am: **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [September 20, 2011, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-had-a-vasectomy-i-am/596946 "2011-09-20T14:27:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2011, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-had-a-vasectomy-i-am/596946/41 "2011-09-21T17:17:33Z")
Ever seen the movie _Inner Space_? šŸ˜‰ ---
**Author:** ![11811](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/1/9d8465/32.png) [@11811](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/11811)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2011, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-had-a-vasectomy-i-am/596946/42 "2011-09-21T17:45:51Z")
Downgraded to a tropical squall. ---
**Author:** ![Laggard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/9de053/32.png) [@Laggard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Laggard)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2011, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-had-a-vasectomy-i-am/596946/43 "2011-09-21T18:02:57Z")
fixed ---
**Author:** ![Rhiannon8404](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rhiannon8404/32/17929_2.png) [@Rhiannon8404](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhiannon8404)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2011, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-had-a-vasectomy-i-am/596946/44 "2011-09-21T18:16:59Z")
safe ---
**Author:** ![brossa](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/brossa/32/3040_2.png) [@brossa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brossa)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2011, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-had-a-vasectomy-i-am/596946/45 "2011-09-21T18:27:27Z")
> [@Dung\_Beetle](#): > > All along the interstate here are billboards advertising a ā€œno needle, no scalpel vasectomyā€. They always make me and my husband snicker, as we try to imagine how exactly itā€™s doneā€¦ a mallet? If you actually want to knowā€¦ There are a couple of ways to do it without a needle or a scalpel. Local anesthetic can be injected using a kind of an air gun (had this done on my own vasectomy, actually) in multiple ā€˜popsā€™. You do have to get into the scrotum eventually, so a small hole or holes can be made using either an electrocautery on the ā€˜cutā€™ setting, or just by punching a hole with a sharpish hemostat. The vas deferens can be cut and tied, or cut and clipped, or clipped and not cut, as the urologist prefers. If entry is made with a hemostat puncture or a small enough electrocautery incision, the wound can just be closed with a bit of glue and/or skin tape, so no stitches to take out. ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Torque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Max\_Torque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Torque)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2011, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-had-a-vasectomy-i-am/596946/46 "2011-09-21T18:40:30Z")
> [@Dung\_Beetle](#): > > All along the interstate here are billboards advertising a ā€œno needle, no scalpel vasectomyā€. They always make me and my husband snicker, as we try to imagine how exactly itā€™s doneā€¦ a mallet? They call it the ā€œhousebrick methodā€. Surely no further explanation is necessary. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2011, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-had-a-vasectomy-i-am/596946/47 "2011-09-21T18:48:45Z")
> [@brossa](#): > > If you actually want to knowā€¦ > > There are a couple of ways to do it without a needle or a scalpel. Local anesthetic can be injected using a kind of an air gun (had this done on my own vasectomy, actually) in multiple ā€˜popsā€™. You do have to get into the scrotum eventually, so a small hole or holes can be made using either an electrocautery on the ā€˜cutā€™ setting, or just by punching a hole with a sharpish hemostat. The vas deferens can be cut and tied, or cut and clipped, or clipped and not cut, as the urologist prefers. If entry is made with a hemostat puncture or a small enough electrocautery incision, the wound can just be closed with a bit of glue and/or skin tape, so no stitches to take out. You know, I think a scalpel sounds _better_. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2011, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-had-a-vasectomy-i-am/596946/48 "2011-09-21T18:50:34Z")
Gelded or Steered. ---
**Author:** ![Morbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morbo/32/389_2.png) [@Morbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morbo)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2011, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-had-a-vasectomy-i-am/596946/49 "2011-09-21T19:08:23Z")
Curious (Fallow) ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2011, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-had-a-vasectomy-i-am/596946/50 "2011-09-21T19:39:59Z")
> [@brossa](#): > > If you actually want to knowā€¦ Why couldnā€™t I have known better than to open the spoiler box? Why? Why? ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2011, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-had-a-vasectomy-i-am/596946/51 "2011-09-21T20:02:50Z")
Iā€™ve Had a Vasectomy. I Am Iā€™ve had Vasectomy I am, I am I got married to the widow next door Sheā€™s been married seven times before And every one has vasectomy All had a cut willy or a sam Iā€™m her eighth old man with vasectomy Vasectomy the Eighth I am, I am Vasectomy the Eighth I am! ---
**Author:** ![Gordon\_Urquhart](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/db5fbb/32.png) [@Gordon\_Urquhart](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gordon_Urquhart)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2011, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-had-a-vasectomy-i-am/596946/52 "2011-09-21T20:07:48Z")
I canā€™t remember what book it was, but a character in that book was written to pronounce ā€œsterileā€ as rhyming with ā€œpearlā€ ā€“ something like ā€œstirl.ā€ Thatā€™s how I describe myself (not that Iā€™m asked that often about my reproductive capability): stirl. ---
**Author:** ![LH75](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lh75/32/4438_2.png) [@LH75](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LH75)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2011, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-had-a-vasectomy-i-am/596946/53 "2011-09-21T23:02:34Z")
I am like a navel orange: All juice and no seeds. ---
**Author:** ![RearEchelon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b4bc9f/32.png) [@RearEchelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RearEchelon)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2011, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-had-a-vasectomy-i-am/596946/54 "2011-09-21T23:11:44Z")
Considering one who suffers a frontal lobotomy has been _lobotomized_, I would say _vasectomized_ is the answer OP is looking for. ---
**Author:** ![curlcoat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ea5d25/32.png) [@curlcoat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/curlcoat)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2011, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-had-a-vasectomy-i-am/596946/55 "2011-09-21T23:44:52Z")
**Iā€™ve Had a Vasectomy. I Am:** highly desirable! ---
**Author:** ![Rysdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7cd45c/32.png) [@Rysdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysdad)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2011, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-had-a-vasectomy-i-am/596946/56 "2011-09-22T01:08:17Z")
> [@LH75](#): > > I am like a navel orange: All juice and no seeds. Funkist! > [@EvilTOJ](#): > > If any more of you guys show up weā€™ll have to get a eunuchā€™s administrator to keep everyone sorted out. Go stand in the corner and be ashamed. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-had-a-vasectomy-i-am/596946.md?page=2)