# I've joined the evil empire . . . **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 11, 2006, 5:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-joined-the-evil-empire/363980 "2006-07-11T05:42:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hilarity_n.suze/32/6223_2.png) [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hilarity_N.Suze)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2006, 5:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-joined-the-evil-empire/363980/1 "2006-07-11T05:42:35Z")
One of my unshakable prejudices is that people who drive SUVs are jerks and they should drive smaller cars, or take their bicycles, or ride public transportation. Anything but those big smelly gas guzzlers. I have been speaking out against them for, well, decades. (Okay it’s not the gas for many of those years I myself have driven a champion gas-guzzler but not an SUV, no way.) So. I just bought one. Aaarrgh! Actually it was a joint purchase. We got it because, um, my husband wanted it, but somehow it was made to sound like I needed it. And he will be driving the little car, since he has farther to go and should take the vehicle with better mileage, while I can actually walk to work. Which I think I will be doing. Always. So where’s the justice? Still…I agreed to it. (Buyer’s remorse, big time.) The thing won’t even fit in my garage. I know it’s a slippery slope. Someday soon I will find myself parking in a handicapped spot, just for a minute (cause I don’t fit anywhere else?), or taking my cats in to have them declawed… ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2006, 6:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-joined-the-evil-empire/363980/2 "2006-07-11T06:07:12Z")
Don’t forget to talk on your cell phone while you drive it. Bonus points if you’re blonde. ---
**Author:** ![Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hilarity_n.suze/32/6223_2.png) [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hilarity_N.Suze)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2006, 6:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-joined-the-evil-empire/363980/3 "2006-07-11T06:22:49Z")
Hey, great advice. I’ve been blonde before and I can be blonde again. And: I have a cell phone and I’m not afraid to use it. Although I prefer to work the crossword puzzle while driving… ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slip\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f475e1/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slip\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slip_1)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2006, 11:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-joined-the-evil-empire/363980/4 "2006-07-11T11:08:08Z")
Do you have vanity plates? You have to get vanity plates. There’s an SUV around here, screaming chicken yellow, that has “HUMMBLE” for its plate. (You can guess what SUV it is). ---
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2006, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-joined-the-evil-empire/363980/5 "2006-07-11T14:13:41Z")
Silly question - what reason did he use for your _need_ for an SUV? If you need to lug lots of people/stuff, a minivan is way more practical. My previous minivan [a caravan] could hold mrAru and myself, and enough camping gear to live through 2 weeks at pennsic in luxury - including a double rope bed/four poster and futon mattress. Snow? Get a smaller 4wd vehicle - suzuki makes a good line of smaller 4wd vehicles. Safety on the road? Pray like hell the asshats in the SUVs that don’t know how to drive _learn_ to drive. Lugging around seed/feed/hay? Get a frelling pickup truck Towing a trailer? Again, said p/u does a good job and actually is cheaper to insure. Plowing snow out of the driveway? Unless your drive is seriously long, a snow blower or employ a kid with a shovel. ---
**Author:** ![JustAnotherGeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/58f4c7/32.png) [@JustAnotherGeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JustAnotherGeek)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2006, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-joined-the-evil-empire/363980/6 "2006-07-11T14:16:23Z")
You’re playing for the Yankees? 😕 :mad: 😉 ---
**Author:** ![h.sapiens](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e0b2c6/32.png) [@h.sapiens](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/h.sapiens)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2006, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-joined-the-evil-empire/363980/7 "2006-07-11T14:35:31Z")
> [@JustAnotherGeek](#): > > You’re playing for the Yankees? 😕 :mad: > 😉 I was going to ask if she’d gone to work for Microsoft. ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2006, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-joined-the-evil-empire/363980/8 "2006-07-11T14:36:34Z")
I thought for sure you were going to say you’d accepted a job with Electronic Data Systems (EDS). ---
**Author:** ![David\_Simmons](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9de053/32.png) [@David\_Simmons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/David_Simmons)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2006, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-joined-the-evil-empire/363980/9 "2006-07-11T14:41:09Z")
> [@Hilarity N. Suze](#): > > Hey, great advice. I’ve been blonde before and I can be blonde again. And: I have a cell phone and I’m not afraid to use it. Although I prefer to work the crossword puzzle while driving… You can’t do both? What a maroon. ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2006, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-joined-the-evil-empire/363980/10 "2006-07-11T14:45:13Z")
> [@David Simmons](#): > > You can’t do both? What a maroon. _Ultra_-maroon… ---
**Author:** ![whiterabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/cab0a1/32.png) [@whiterabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whiterabbit)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2006, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-joined-the-evil-empire/363980/11 "2006-07-11T16:11:50Z")
> [@h.sapiens](#): > > I was going to ask if she’d gone to work for Microsoft. Damn, you beat me to it. I have a cousin who did work for them. I don’t think he is anymore, but the Dark Side jokes were so obvious when he got that job. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2006, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-joined-the-evil-empire/363980/12 "2006-07-11T16:17:12Z")
> [@h.sapiens](#): > > I was going to ask if she’d gone to work for Microsoft. Starbucks? Maybe Wal-Mart? ---
**Author:** ![Greenback](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/2bfe46/32.png) [@Greenback](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Greenback)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2006, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-joined-the-evil-empire/363980/13 "2006-07-11T16:19:10Z")
> [@David Simmons](#): > > You can’t do both? What a maroon. Be blonde and work on a crossword? ---
**Author:** ![Honey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honey/32/5074_2.png) [@Honey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Honey)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2006, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-joined-the-evil-empire/363980/14 "2006-07-11T16:47:02Z")
> [@JustAnotherGeek](#): > > You’re playing for the Yankees? 😕 :mad: > 😉 That was my exact thought upon reading the title. ---
**Author:** ![Runestar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/74df32/32.png) [@Runestar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Runestar)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2006, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-joined-the-evil-empire/363980/15 "2006-07-11T16:48:23Z")
A friend of mine, when the lease on his Honda Accord expired recently, replaced it with a lease on a Honda CRV. He mentioned that since he was now driving an SUV he was damned for eternity. My wife comforted him with “That’s OK Kevin; it’s a small SUV, so you’ll just be sentenced to an outer circle of hell.” ---
**Author:** ![JustAnotherGeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/58f4c7/32.png) [@JustAnotherGeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JustAnotherGeek)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2006, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-joined-the-evil-empire/363980/16 "2006-07-11T16:56:15Z")
> [@Honey](#): > > That was my exact thought upon reading the title. Given that your location is “Adirondacks”… Are you a Mets fan? They’re the only people I know who hate the Yankees as much or more than BoSox fans. ---
**Author:** ![Honey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honey/32/5074_2.png) [@Honey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Honey)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2006, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-joined-the-evil-empire/363980/17 "2006-07-11T19:39:40Z")
> [@JustAnotherGeek](#): > > Given that your location is “Adirondacks”… > > Are you a Mets fan? They’re the only people I know who hate the Yankees as much or more than BoSox fans. I’m a Red Sawx fan. ---
**Author:** ![Honey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honey/32/5074_2.png) [@Honey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Honey)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2006, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-joined-the-evil-empire/363980/18 "2006-07-11T19:56:30Z")
> [@JustAnotherGeek](#): > > Given that your location is “Adirondacks”… > > Are you a Mets fan? They’re the only people I know who hate the Yankees as much or more than BoSox fans. I’m a Red Sawx fan. ---
**Author:** ![Malienation](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4af34b/32.png) [@Malienation](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malienation)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2006, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-joined-the-evil-empire/363980/19 "2006-07-11T20:04:25Z")
Your husband wanted it? Why? 😕 This is key. And why buy it only to make _you_ drive it (and pay $$ for gas)? If it’s a status thing, tell him you’re embarassed to drive it and he’ll have to start driving it. If it’s a snow thing, mention that although 4WD helps _acceleration and hill climbing_ in snow, it doesn’t help cornering much and braking not at all (both of which are poor in SUVs to begin with). You can often make _huge_ differences in how a 2WD car handles in the snow by buying 4 snow tires (mounted on their own rims to make the changeover convenient). Notice I said snow tires, not all-season tires. If you need the carrying capacity infrequently, rent one as needed. ---
**Author:** ![enipla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/54ee81/32.png) [@enipla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enipla)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2006, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-joined-the-evil-empire/363980/20 "2006-07-11T23:10:38Z")
I’m curious **Hilarity N. Suze** What did you get? I just got an ’06 Pathfinder to replace my ’93. Love it. We need 4x4 for snow. 4x4 with ground clearance and low-range. I discounted the Explorer for its bad ground clearance, and, well, our family never did have good luck with Fords. Towing capacity. 6000 lbs. It’s not huge. And very easy to see out of and drive. It’s on a truck frame. Strength and durability. Helps for towing, off road and pulling others out when they get stuck. Size/cargo room. Just right for us. Very comfortable for me with the adjustable pedals. The Toyota 4-Runner (The other vehicle I considered) doesn’t offer them. The mid-sized SUV works great for my Wife and I and our two dogs. This will be my 2nd SUV. And my fourth 4x4. My Wife is now on her second SUV. Because of where we live, and what we do every day, they are the most practical vehicles for us. I thought about getting another 4x4 truck (I have an old truck that I use to plow). But it made no sense. Don’t need another truck. To plow at my place, the vehicle has to be chained up on all four. I’m not gonna do that dance every time I need to plow. My old beater truck works great for that. The SUV’s we have, the Grand Jeep and the Pathfinder can get us to work through up to about 2 feet of snow. Coming home is sometimes a different story. Anyway, wad’ya get. I hope it wasn’t shovels and rakes and had to pick up the garbage. 😉 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-joined-the-evil-empire/363980.md?page=2)