# I've just applied a liberal layer of self-tanner. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 29, 2003, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-just-applied-a-liberal-layer-of-self-tanner/178189 "2003-05-29T04:16:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2003, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-just-applied-a-liberal-layer-of-self-tanner/178189/1 "2003-05-29T04:16:52Z")
Vichy brand, to be specific. Why would I do this you ask? Well, today, my oh-so-lovely chocolate brown SO accused me of having “translucent” legs. So white they’re blue, he said. You could blind people with the glare, he said. Now probably, my best course of action would have been to beat him about the head and ears with a soggy letuce leaf and move on. Instead, I have opted for this route. I think there are 3 possible outcomes: 1 - In one hour, I will be a beautiful Bahama-Mama 2 - In one hour, I will be a not-so-beautiful pumpkin 3 - In one hour, I will look exactly the same. I am currently accepting bets - I’m laying 2-1 odds on #2 being the winner. Anyone? Anyone? ---
**Author:** ![Doomtrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/0ea827/32.png) [@Doomtrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doomtrain)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2003, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-just-applied-a-liberal-layer-of-self-tanner/178189/2 "2003-05-29T04:27:23Z")
I’m thinking orange. ---
**Author:** ![bernse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a9a28c/32.png) [@bernse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bernse)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2003, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-just-applied-a-liberal-layer-of-self-tanner/178189/3 "2003-05-29T04:27:59Z")
WASH YOUR HANDS!!! REPEAT!!! **VERY IMPORTANT!!!** ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2003, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-just-applied-a-liberal-layer-of-self-tanner/178189/4 "2003-05-29T04:28:20Z")
You willing to put a wager on that? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2003, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-just-applied-a-liberal-layer-of-self-tanner/178189/5 "2003-05-29T04:29:36Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by bernse \* > \*\*WASH YOUR HANDS!!! > > REPEAT!!! > > **VERY IMPORTANT!!!** \*\* Done. I actually knew that. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![BadBaby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/71c47a/32.png) [@BadBaby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BadBaby)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2003, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-just-applied-a-liberal-layer-of-self-tanner/178189/6 "2003-05-29T04:49:01Z")
Well, how’d it go? I played with self-tanner a few weeks ago. In some light it looked fine, in others I was a bit orange. Decided it wasn’t worth the trouble except for special occassions. So are you oompah loompah-ish or caramel colored goodness? ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2003, 4:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-just-applied-a-liberal-layer-of-self-tanner/178189/7 "2003-05-29T04:54:06Z")
**BadBaby** - it’s just starting to develop now. I will now comence contemplating my slowly emerging shade while nibbling on a vanilla wafer. ::_nibble nibble_:: ---
**Author:** ![Essured](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/278dde/32.png) [@Essured](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Essured)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2003, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-just-applied-a-liberal-layer-of-self-tanner/178189/8 "2003-05-29T04:57:09Z")
I’ve been thinking of taking the plunge and doing this ! I won’t place a bet, but I am interested in how it turns out and what you think of the whole thing. Enjoy your wafer 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2003, 5:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-just-applied-a-liberal-layer-of-self-tanner/178189/9 "2003-05-29T05:06:32Z")
Humm. Well. I think I may resemble someone who has seen the sun, through a window, at some point, within the last month. Not exactly a Bahama Mama, but my legs are perhaps less glaring. I think I’ll go to sleep with the stuff on and hope for the best! Wish me luck! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Pixiesnix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/898d66/32.png) [@Pixiesnix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pixiesnix)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2003, 5:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-just-applied-a-liberal-layer-of-self-tanner/178189/10 "2003-05-29T05:41:50Z")
If you like, I’ll savagely beat your chocolate SO with a bottle of his own tanning lotion. And I like being corpse-white. ---
**Author:** ![modro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/6de8d8/32.png) [@modro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/modro)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2003, 6:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-just-applied-a-liberal-layer-of-self-tanner/178189/11 "2003-05-29T06:00:11Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by KCSuze \* > \*\* > And I like being corpse-white. \*\* Me too, if only because it is far less painful than my other color, Lobster Red. More sun, and I develop a blistered texture, more pain, and the ability to peel off skin in large sheets. ---
**Author:** ![Satisfying\_Andy\_Licious](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/50afbb/32.png) [@Satisfying\_Andy\_Licious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satisfying_Andy_Licious)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2003, 6:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-just-applied-a-liberal-layer-of-self-tanner/178189/12 "2003-05-29T06:59:40Z")
You shouldn’t be ashamed of your whiteness, Alice. Some very important people in history were white. I can’t think of any famous orange people, though. Oh, wait, there was William of Orange. Besides, “white” rhymes with a lot of things, but if you turn orange, no poet on earth will be able to praise your beauty. ---
**Author:** ![moi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@moi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/moi)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2003, 12:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-just-applied-a-liberal-layer-of-self-tanner/178189/13 "2003-05-29T12:58:22Z")
So, I have mucho curiousity. Did you just apply this to your legs? If so, _ahem_ how far up? I’ve been interested in self tanner, but a little afraid that I would go hog wild, covering every square inch of me (so, for instance, my legs wouldn’t be tan whilst my arms were still white?). Also, did you say you were going to sleep with the self tanner on? What color/shade are you now? Inquiring minds want to know. ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2003, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-just-applied-a-liberal-layer-of-self-tanner/178189/14 "2003-05-29T13:30:04Z")
Ok - I’m up. Lets check this out… ::_hummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm_:: Well, it’s not too bad. I’m sort of tan looking. (I did my legs, arms and shoulders/neck/clavical area - just the stuff that will show when I go to work) Well. It’s not to bad at all. I had some scratches on my feet from some sandles that are a bit darker, but I think they’ll be hidden… Not to bad at all. Ok. I’m gonna have a shower, and I’ll let you know if it washes off or anything… ---
**Author:** ![beagledave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6de8d8/32.png) [@beagledave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beagledave)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2003, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-just-applied-a-liberal-layer-of-self-tanner/178189/15 "2003-05-29T14:41:40Z")
How the hell are we supposed to get the self tanner “experience” without the pertinent JPEGS? ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2003, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-just-applied-a-liberal-layer-of-self-tanner/178189/16 "2003-05-29T17:17:04Z")
Don’t you want to put it all over yourself? ---
**Author:** ![Thinks2Much](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/73ab20/32.png) [@Thinks2Much](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thinks2Much)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2003, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-just-applied-a-liberal-layer-of-self-tanner/178189/17 "2003-05-29T19:06:44Z")
I have used several brands of self-tanning - Ban de Soliel, Neutrogena, and I am currently using one that has chambers of lotion separate from colorant that I like a lot. I am not at home so I can’t go look. Coppertone, maybe? Most brands aren’t orangey anymore. The biggest annoyance I find is they all smell very strong. It can be very difficult to apply without getting streaks. You have to avoid putting much on tougher skin, like elbows and knees. You wouldn’t apply it all over because it is expensive and difficult to do to look natural because different parts of skin need different levels of application. I found this website that has reviews of several brands and a "product picker"[link](http://www.sunless.com/mikomatic/) ---
**Author:** ![Stonebow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Stonebow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stonebow)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2003, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-just-applied-a-liberal-layer-of-self-tanner/178189/18 "2003-05-29T19:24:02Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by alice\_in\_wonderland \* > \*\*I’m sort of tan looking. (I did my legs, arms and shoulders/neck/clavical area - just the stuff that will show when I go to work) > \*\* i’m sure that you are a pretty lady…but this conjured up a very funny image. I imagine your SO will think that it is…interesting. 🙂 -stonebow, the cinnamon-colored hubby of a gloriously translucent, sexy lady ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2003, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-just-applied-a-liberal-layer-of-self-tanner/178189/19 "2003-05-29T20:28:29Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Kalhoun \* > \*\*Don’t you want to put it all over yourself? \*\* My boobs have never been tanned. I see no reason to start now. 😃