# I've just figured out my romantic woes

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-just-figured-out-my-romantic-woes/360677>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [June 14, 2006, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-just-figured-out-my-romantic-woes/360677 "2006-06-14T13:52:34Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 5\
**Page:** 2

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**Author:** ![UntouchedTakeaway](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/d78d45/32.png) [@UntouchedTakeaway](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UntouchedTakeaway)\
**Post date:** [June 15, 2006, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-just-figured-out-my-romantic-woes/360677/21 "2006-06-15T02:17:12Z")

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[QUOTE=UncleBeer]  
Yeah, Mr. Clean in a [James Carville](http://www.cnn.com/CNN/anchors_reporters/images/carville.james.jpg) kinda way.  
[/QUOTE]

That must be it then - I think James Carville is hot. 😛  
VCNJ~

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**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\
**Post date:** [June 15, 2006, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-just-figured-out-my-romantic-woes/360677/22 "2006-06-15T02:48:30Z")

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Oi, **Gadarene** , cheer up.

It definitely ain’t looks. Hell, people frequently tell me that I remind them of a young Wallace Shawn (_Inconceivable!_) and yet somehow I don’t run up against a lot of “Let’s be friends.”

So the bad news is that you’re still in the dark about what’s not working – but the good news is that whatever it is is liable to be easier to adjust than your physiognomy.

_Be_ friends. When you’re well into that comfortable, no-bullshit friend zone, _ask_ – but don’t be petulant about it or give any indication you’ll take it hard.

Then you’re set up for a proper G.I. Joe signoff.

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**Author:** ![Grossbottom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ba8739/32.png) [@Grossbottom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grossbottom)\
**Post date:** [June 15, 2006, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-just-figured-out-my-romantic-woes/360677/23 "2006-06-15T14:33:46Z")

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Men and women are the same in that they will always want what they cannot have. If these women don’t want you, maybe it’s because they already know they can have you. Deprive them of that belief and you may see results.

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**Author:** ![Misnomer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misnomer/32/14897_2.png) [@Misnomer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Misnomer)\
**Post date:** [June 15, 2006, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-just-figured-out-my-romantic-woes/360677/24 "2006-06-15T15:23:56Z")

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[QUOTE=Gadarene]  
Tacky.  
[/QUOTE]  
Maybe the problem is that when you don’t get the response you expect, you reply by being insulting about something innocuous while ignoring all of the relevant comments? That would certainly make _me_ want to stop dating you. 😉

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**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\
**Post date:** [June 15, 2006, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-just-figured-out-my-romantic-woes/360677/25 "2006-06-15T16:11:51Z")

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[QUOTE=cowgirl]  
…Practice looking at her like you want to ravage her…  
[/QUOTE]

…unless you’re not interested in _ravaging_. Some of us aren’t either, I’d much rather have sex than get ravaged any day of the week 😛

If you’re interested in them, don’t be afraid to say so. A specific compliment is always much better than a generic one.

If you’re “you”, someday you’ll find a girl who likes “you”: don’t try to be someone else.

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