# I've Made A Horrible Mistake Moving In With This Roommate **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 8, 2011, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-made-a-horrible-mistake-moving-in-with-this-roommate/573860 "2011-03-08T00:10:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2011, 12:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-made-a-horrible-mistake-moving-in-with-this-roommate/573860/61 "2011-03-09T12:09:49Z")
Yay friend! ! ! What has co-abode had to say about all this? ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2011, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-made-a-horrible-mistake-moving-in-with-this-roommate/573860/62 "2011-03-09T14:00:21Z")
I’m glad to hear you should be able to go soon, **Alice**. I’m not at all glad to hear that she’s so angry that it knots up _your_ stomach (and make no doubt about it, your kid is picking up on it too). Fingers crossed that you can see the back of her very soon. ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2011, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-made-a-horrible-mistake-moving-in-with-this-roommate/573860/63 "2011-03-09T14:13:01Z")
> [@TruCelt](#): > > Yay friend! ! ! What has co-abode had to say about all this? I sent them an email yesterday- haven’t heard anything back yet. ---
**Author:** ![MN\_Maenad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e95f7d/32.png) [@MN\_Maenad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MN_Maenad)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2011, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-made-a-horrible-mistake-moving-in-with-this-roommate/573860/64 "2011-03-09T18:11:20Z")
> [@Sarabellum1976](#): > > Protect your personal information. Make certain that she can’t get her hands on your SS#. As part of this, get a PO Box if you can afford it and have your mail sent there (if you haven’t already). Good luck with your loan! ---
**Author:** ![sandra\_nz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eada6e/32.png) [@sandra\_nz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sandra_nz)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2011, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-made-a-horrible-mistake-moving-in-with-this-roommate/573860/65 "2011-03-09T18:42:18Z")
> [@Alice\_The\_Goon](#): > > I sent them an email yesterday- haven’t heard anything back yet. Ring them. You’ll get a lot more benefit from talking to someone. ---
**Author:** ![Keith\_Berry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/22d042/32.png) [@Keith\_Berry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Keith_Berry)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2011, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-made-a-horrible-mistake-moving-in-with-this-roommate/573860/66 "2011-03-10T14:30:12Z")
> [@Merneith](#): > > . > > 1. You should talk to the police about her drug habits. When she informed you that she was buying pills illegally, she made you a party to her crimes. Maybe I’m obtuse or ignorant, but how exactly does this work? I know of at least a dozen people----co-workers, friends, acquaintances----who take prescription narcotics for recreational uses. Are you saying I’m going to jail because I won’t snitch them out? Please explain. ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2011, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-made-a-horrible-mistake-moving-in-with-this-roommate/573860/67 "2011-03-10T17:51:35Z")
> [@Keith\_Berry](#): > > Maybe I’m obtuse or ignorant, but how exactly does this work? I know of at least a dozen people----co-workers, friends, acquaintances----who take prescription narcotics for recreational uses. > > Are you saying I’m going to jail because I won’t snitch them out? > > Please explain. I don’t know about any culpability on my part, but she doesn’t just take Rx drugs recreationally. She told me that her friend’s aunt hires homeless people to go to the doctor and get prescriptions and fill them and give them to her, and she sells them to other people, including lovely rommie. As for CoAbode, my email to them was vague and didn’t name her- I don’t want to do that until I’m gone from here. Then I will make sure she won’t be able to use them to lure others into her hellhole. ---
**Author:** ![Dogzilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@Dogzilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dogzilla)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2011, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-made-a-horrible-mistake-moving-in-with-this-roommate/573860/68 "2011-03-10T18:35:44Z")
If you plan to involve police, then I suggest reporting what you know, can corroborate, or have evidence for. “She told me” does not constitute evidence. Report what you directly observed, heard, smelled, etc. I dunno about the cops, but I wouldn’t act on “but she _said_…” ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2011, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-made-a-horrible-mistake-moving-in-with-this-roommate/573860/69 "2011-03-10T18:47:06Z")
The thing that would concern me the most is her kid. he’s the one who’s most trapped and helpless and somebody needs to advocate for him. I would call CPS and let them investigate They aren’t going to take your own kid away, and probably not even hers, but they will investigate her, talk to the dad and see if anything needs to be done. You also don’t need to be able to prove anything. You aren’t taking her to court. You’re reporting a concern. A lot of kids in these situations grow up in Hell because no one ever bothers to care about them or they think it would be too inconvenient to get involved. ---
**Author:** ![MysteryFellow63427](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e4f/32.png) [@MysteryFellow63427](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MysteryFellow63427)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2011, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-made-a-horrible-mistake-moving-in-with-this-roommate/573860/70 "2011-03-10T23:11:53Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > It’s also worth thinking about legal issues. If there is no written lease (at least if you were in my state) that means there’s a “month-to-month” lease automatically in effect. That \*is \*a lot easier to get out of, but it’s not as easy as packing your stuff and tossing her your keys. You still have to give 30 days notice to the landlord. Enforcing an unwritten lease is all but impossible. I’m not giving legal advice, but if it were me I wouldn’t worry about 30 days notice, I’d just worry about getting enough money to move. ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2011, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-made-a-horrible-mistake-moving-in-with-this-roommate/573860/71 "2011-03-11T00:13:31Z")
Yeah, I’m not going to worry about giving her notice. She didn’t give me any notice that she’s an alcoholic/addict, did she? 😛 Plus, she has so many issues right now, I can’t see her taking on another battle. I think I’ll take my chances. The loan from my awesome friend should be coming in tomorrow, and I’ll be looking at places this weekend. Hoping all goes smoothly and we’ll be out of here by next weekend. She can even keep the balance of what I’ve paid for this month. ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2011, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-made-a-horrible-mistake-moving-in-with-this-roommate/573860/72 "2011-03-11T00:15:32Z")
> [@Alice\_The\_Goon](#): > > She can even keep the balance of what I’ve paid for this month. I think that if you stay one day into the new month, you owe for the entire month. At least that’s what Judge Judy says. And she wouldn’t lie. ---
**Author:** ![FloatyGimpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/floatygimpy/32/7750_2.png) [@FloatyGimpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FloatyGimpy)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2011, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-made-a-horrible-mistake-moving-in-with-this-roommate/573860/73 "2011-03-11T00:30:59Z")
> [@Alice\_The\_Goon](#): > > Yeah, I’m not going to worry about giving her notice. She didn’t give me any notice that she’s an alcoholic/addict, did she? 😛 Plus, she has so many issues right now, I can’t see her taking on another battle. I think I’ll take my chances. > > The loan from my awesome friend should be coming in tomorrow, and I’ll be looking at places this weekend. **Hoping all goes smoothly and we’ll be out of here by next weekend.** She can even keep the balance of what I’ve paid for this month. That’s awesome. I’m really happy for you. And even though it sucks there, knowing you’re leaving and it’s just temporary, makes it so much easier to bear. Just think, this time next week, you may be in your own place, with your own things, and not walking on eggshells. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2011, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-made-a-horrible-mistake-moving-in-with-this-roommate/573860/74 "2011-03-11T01:46:30Z")
This experience hasn’t soured me on all co-abode situations. I realize that she is a er, special case. But damned if it won’t be nice to live alone again. I will never, ever take it for granted again. And hey, I don’t want to name any names or anything, but Dopers are very, very special people. Never forget that! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![handsomeharry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9c0ed/32.png) [@handsomeharry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handsomeharry)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2011, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-made-a-horrible-mistake-moving-in-with-this-roommate/573860/75 "2011-03-24T03:25:59Z")
Do we have an update? Best wishes, hh ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2011, 4:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-made-a-horrible-mistake-moving-in-with-this-roommate/573860/76 "2011-03-24T04:08:21Z")
Yes! I found a place last weekend, and we are moving in this weekend. None too soon, either. She has not gotten any more likable in the meantime. I’m really looking forward to being the only woman in the house again! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![madrabbitwoman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c37758/32.png) [@madrabbitwoman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madrabbitwoman)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2011, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-made-a-horrible-mistake-moving-in-with-this-roommate/573860/77 "2011-03-24T04:15:16Z")
Yay for you. Its funny that your good news has relieved and brightened the day of a complete stranger over here in Oz. You had better throw a housewarming party - invite your kid, yourself and the internet connection so we can virtually join you. ---
**Author:** ![rhubarbarin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eb9ed0/32.png) [@rhubarbarin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rhubarbarin)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2011, 10:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-made-a-horrible-mistake-moving-in-with-this-roommate/573860/78 "2011-03-24T10:04:22Z")
Go Alice! Hope the move, and disentanglement from the crazy, goes smoothly for you. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ive-made-a-horrible-mistake-moving-in-with-this-roommate/573860.md?page=3)